kxruyucu

[kxruyucu]

vid ft. jayden hitting ppl’s nerves and enjoying it, you can tell from the habitual way he moves his head at the end lmao! also, yes, that’s how he sounds(voice claim) uvu

#☯ // visage #☯ // jayden #[he’s so crazy n unstable but we love him for it lol!] #[that head shake at the end 😂😂😂]

[kxruyucu]

me, removing knife i have been stabbed with: ‘finders keepers’

#☯ 「 ʜᴇ ᴘᴜɴɪꜱʜᴇꜱ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʜɪꜱ 」// musings #☯ // jayden

[kxruyucu]

okay by PLOT WITH ME

#☯ // plotting call #[let us torture our muses mwahahahaha >:) ]

[kxruyucu]

0:22-0:37 : the screaming, the ANGER yet HURT in his face & eyes, how his tears just slide, he doesn't need to cry for them to do that !! 00:43- 00:47 & 00:49-0054: the SHOCK and PAIN in his face!!! the way his pupils turn left and right as if GLITCHING with hurt as he looks at the other man's face and the SHIVERING of his lips; he knows it but it's still more PAINFUL when someone tells it to his face!! when he hears it out loud & not only in his mind !! there are parts of his story that i didn't include in the bio because it'd get even longer than it already is, but there's this part where he actually addresses this, that he hurts ppl when he tries to save them, he has already lost some through that!! 1:12-1:27: how he's speechless and how he's trying to calm himself, the holding of breath, the utter SILENCE 1:28-1:32: he has this habit of rubbing his stubble (the same way) when he's anxious, thinking or confused.

#☯ 「 ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ’ᴍ ʜᴜʀᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ’ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇᴀᴋ 」// character study #[I don’t think anyone knows how much this vid means to me n Liam’s characterization AND how much it creeps me with the accuracy of it!!! #so proud of my fc choice lajshsbs lol #no but really! i could talk about this for AGES !!!! #the mannerisms & behavior & anger & suffering & facial expressions & EVERYTHING!!!! #the fact he literally said to him that he hurt the boy while trying to SAVE them!!!! how the man told him to STOP TRYING TO SAVE PPL bcuz h #ENDS UP HURTING THEM!!!! #wow! #im—- wOW!] #[look I put effort to translate and put the subtitles myself u better watch it lol! WITH VOLUME UP TOO!] #☯ 「 ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ 」// headcanons #☯ // queue

[kxruyucu]

0:22-0:37 : the screaming, the ANGER yet HURT in his face & eyes, how his tears just slide, he doesn't need to cry for them to do that !! 00:43- 00:47 & 00:49-0054: the SHOCK and PAIN in his face!!! the way his pupils turn left and right as if GLITCHING with hurt as he looks at the other man's face and the SHIVERING of his lips; he knows it but it's still more PAINFUL when someone tells it to his face!! when he hears it out loud & not only in his mind !! there are parts of his story that i didn't include in the bio because it'd get even longer than it already is, but there's this part where he actually addresses this, that he hurts ppl when he tries to save them, he has already lost some through that!! 1:12-1:27: how he's speechless and how he's trying to calm himself, the holding of breath, the utter SILENCE 1:28-1:32: he has this habit of rubbing his stubble (the same way) when he's anxious, thinking or confused.

#☯ 「 ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ’ᴍ ʜᴜʀᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ’ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇᴀᴋ 」// character study #[I don’t think anyone knows how much this vid means to me n Liam’s characterization AND how much it creeps me with the accuracy of it!!! #so proud of my fc choice lajshsbs lol #no but really! i could talk about this for AGES !!!! #the mannerisms & behavior & anger & suffering & facial expressions & EVERYTHING!!!! #the fact he literally said to him that he hurt the boy while trying to SAVE them!!!! how the man told him to STOP TRYING TO SAVE PPL bcuz h #ENDS UP HURTING THEM!!!! #wow! #im—- wOW!] #[look I put effort to translate and put the subtitles myself u better watch it lol! WITH VOLUME UP TOO!] #☯ 「 ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ 」// headcanons

[kxruyucu]

THE MANY MEANINGS OF "HEY.": A PROMPT LIST.

i often have these ideas that have no real origin, but i can actually tell you precisely why my brain wanted this: i was listening to "hey, soul sister" by train on a loop and i got thinking abt the fact that we really do just say "hey" for so many reasons. and i wanted to make that your thought of the evening! so happy november, bon appetit, wrap up warm, DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST, and enjoy your writings!

[ GREETING ]: sender says "hey" as a greeting to the receiver.

[ ATTENTION ]: sender, having just noticed something strange or remarkable, calls for the receiver to get their attention.

[ REASSURE ]: in a bid to steady the unsettled receiver, the sender lightly says "hey" to help them calm down.

[ ANGER ]: the sender sharply snaps "hey" at the receiver, clearly angry about something the receiver has just done or had done in the past.

[ IDEA ]: having been presented with a predicament, the sender suddenly unravels a solution, introducing it to the receiver by saying "hey…".

[ GUILT ]: having just done something that they know the receiver won't be pleased with, the sender sheepishly greets them once they arrive to see the damage.

[ GOSSIP ]: the sender turns to face the receiver conspiratorially, clearly eager to share some new gossip with them.

[ URGENT ]: the sender rushes to the preoccupied receiver, desperately shouting "hey!" to get them to focus on a far more pressing matter.

[ SOOTHE ]: after finding the clearly distressed receiver, the sender pulls them into a careful embrace, gently murmuring "hey…" to try and soothe them.

[ SMILE ]: the sender (who hasn't been smiling up until they actually see the receiver in front of them) lights up with a smile as they greet the receiver.

[ TEARS ]: the sender greets the receiver while very clearly in tears.

[ FAKE ]: alternatively, the sender (who has just been crying in private) hastily wipes away their tears and tries to greet the receiver casually (to varying degrees of success).

[ WARNING ]: when the receiver begins to say things about subjects that are off-limits to the sender, the latter gives them a warning by saying "hey…".

[ LAUGH ]: having found the receiver to be decidedly unhappy, the sender lightly catches their attention before doing something to make them laugh, or at the very least, grin.

[ PROTEST ]: after the receiver does or says something that the sender deems to be unfair, the sender tries to exact justice by saying "hey!".

[ BREATHLESS ]: having clearly just sprinted down to the receiver, the sender tries to catch their breath while greeting them.

[ SAVE ]: after just saving the receiver's life in a very heroic fashion, the sender smoothly greets them while helping them escape.

[ FLIRT ]: the sender meets the receiver in a social setting, and attempts to flirt with them with the very traditional pick-up line: "hey.".

[ APOLOGY ]: the sender, having recently done something that hurt or upset the receiver, reunites with them and addresses the elephant in the room by greeting them with a sincerely apologetic tone.

[ AWKWARD ]: after a particularly rough first encounter, the sender meets the receiver again, and awkwardly greets them with more than a touch of embarrassment.

[ GENTLE ]: having found the receiver in an emotionally compromised position, the sender closes the door and approaches them carefully, gently saying "hey…" to try and get them to communicate what has upset them.

[ HARD ]: preparing to deliver what they both know will be bad news, the sender tries to prepare the receiver by quietly greeting them in a solemn tone.

[ WAKEN ]: walking into the receiver's bedroom, the sender gently shakes their shoulder to waken them, and whispers "hey." to encourage the process along.

[ WHISPER ]: the sender gently whispers "hey" to the receiver to discreetly get their attention without drawing the attention of others.

#☯ // inbox #[liam or jayden? 👀 same muse but latter is a messed up result]

[kxruyucu]

Alperen Duymaz as Kerem Korkmaz on Çarpışma 1.11

#☯ // visage

[kxruyucu]

#☯ // visage #☯ // jayden

[kxruyucu]

#☯ 「 ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴʏ 」// cats #☯ // aesthetics

[kxruyucu]

Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides

#☯ 「 ʜᴇ ᴘᴜɴɪꜱʜᴇꜱ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʜɪꜱ 」// musings #[ouch]

[kxruyucu]

“True friendship takes us by the hand and reminds us we are not alone on the journey.”

— Unknown

#☯ 「 ᴀ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ 」// harold #☯ 「 ʟᴏʏᴀʟᴛʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴇʀᴇ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ 」// jacob #☯ 「 ʜᴇ ᴘᴜɴɪꜱʜᴇꜱ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʜɪꜱ 」// musings

[kxruyucu]

A father he has never met, Ethan; they died before he was even born. How unfortunate; they would have been his friend too, his support when he needed one, his whole world. He clutches the diary his mother handed him, filled with memories of them. They would listen to the noise he made in the womb, hand would feel his kicking, their impatience for him to be born makes them tease and guess the color of his eyes to match theirs. They would sing to him, play the guitar for him. They were already a GOOD FATHER before he is allowed into this world— Then they left. ❝ Wish I met him.. ❞

A mother who bore with his frequent kicks for nine months in their womb, a weight not only physical but played on their mentality as well. Freya. They were good, until they decided to leave him with a stepfather he would believe to be his blood one. The MONSTER being good to him and bad only to them was their defense, a false one for he SUFFERED hell with this man. He met them later, reunited briefly before they are assassinated by the same man who took everything and everyone dear to him. ❝ I.. I’m tryin’ t’ forgive her.. ❞

A baby brother he found amidst looking for a lost friend, a surprise that was pleasant even if worrying for they should not be left with his stepfather, believing them to be his real father at the time. His name was Theo, and he ADORED them from the moment they stopped crying and laughed at his silly faces, cooed and calmed when in his arms. It didn’t last long; his newly made enemy decided to send their men to punish him for having influence on their son, Harold, a best friend who would become a brother to him, the one he was looking for when he found Theo instead. His baby brother was SNATCHED from his arms, SUFFOCATED slowly before BURNING to ashes all while he was made to watch, a memory ENGRAVED in his mind, the reason he is so adamant to take vengeance with bloody hands. ❝ I miss him… ❞

A stepfather he believed his whole life to be his real one, Oliver. They had tried to suffocate and kill him ever since he was an infant, but they failed; their hatred for him ignited when his mother left, getting the opposite effect the latter wanted. He suffered their brutality, their cruel acts of USING him to deliver their drugs, to offer him to be played with especially when their customers were into such ATROCIOUS acts. They sometimes did it themself just to scare him, but he never wore his feelings on his face with them, neither with their customers. They had TORMENTED him in every way possible. He will never forgive them, especially for using his mother’s frozen ova to bring a little brother into their cruel life. ❝ I sometimes allow meself t’ believe in hell just t’ imagine him burnin’ there! ❞

The family would not be complete without mentioning his best friend and brother from another mother, Harold. They met him in the weirdest of circumstances, him saving the kid their age who dared to be disrespectful towards them, an act he condemned and told them that killing would not teach a lesson but make their suffering quicker and easier, and it was that hint of CRUEL JUSTICE that brought them together. They were inseparable, until their uncle decided they should, convincing him to trade his presence beside his friend with their safety. He chose their safety and left without a word, TRIGGERING the worst in them when he did. He would come back looking for them later against his words to the threat before, and it would cost him to lose a baby brother he had just met, to be injected with an experiment that should have killed him slowly but didn’t. Oh how he wishes it did. When they met again, they were enemies unaware of each other’s identities, until they were, and it took long enough for them to understand where he came from, how he had NEVER abandoned them, and he stuck with them even when they changed, becoming a MONSTER only he knew how to look at its softness, the little good in them. Then they stab him in the back, investigating and manipulating his mind. Unforgivable. He forgave them when their sentiments for him were confusing, a mix of love, lust and obsession; he knew how to deal with them. Stabbing his back was not. He left without a word purposely this time, never forgiving them, until they came to him despite the DANGER to their life just so they can save his, and they paid the price with their life. It still eats on him, the GUILT of being akin to foreigners at their last encounter, the visions of them showered with bullets in front of his eyes to their DEATH still haunts him. ❝ I wanted to tell him.. I forgave him.. ❞

Another brother he did not share their blood, but they shared Harold, their younger brother, Jacob. They were pulled into the mess of their brother and uncle, they were USED by their own father and their prostitution customers. They were INNOCENT in so many ways, made it look like as if they were younger than him even when it was the opposite. He would look after them, share his food with them no matter how little so they didn’t go hungry. He would always feel for them, even when they made mistakes with their husband later on; they were through enough, they will get better if given the chance, hopefully. ❝ He deserved better! Still does! ❞

@bruz3r : 👨‍👩‍👦 for liam

#☯ // answers #bruz3r #☯ 「 ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ’ᴍ ʜᴜʀᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ’ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇᴀᴋ 」// character study #☯ 「 ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ 」// headcanons #「 ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅꜱ 」// father #☯ 「 ɪᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇꜱ ᴀ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏʀɢɪᴠᴇ 」// mother #☯ 「 ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀᴡᴀᴋᴇ; ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ 」// theo #☯ 「 ᴀ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ 」// harold #☯ 「 ʟᴏʏᴀʟᴛʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴇʀᴇ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ 」// jacob #[I tried my best to be brief ;u;] #[he makes me sad :( ]

[kxruyucu]

 i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  i’m sorry.  I AM SO FUCKING SORRY.           it should have been me.             i know it should have been me.   

#☯ 「 ʜᴇ ᴘᴜɴɪꜱʜᴇꜱ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʜɪꜱ 」// musings #☯ // queue #[this actually hurts ;o;] #[him @ theo n harold n george n freya sgdgrhrhfh]

[kxruyucu]

RANDOM INJURY CARETAKING STARTERS

“You’re cold, come here.”

“Breathe, breathe, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Hey, I’ve got you. You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

“Shh, shh, it’s alright. It’s okay.”

“I’m right here. I’m not leaving you, alright?”

“Look at me.”

“You’re hurt, you need to sit down.”

“You’re bleeding.”

“It’s just a flesh wound.”

“I’m fine, stop worrying so much.”

“You need to rest.”

“I’ll rest when I’m dead. Let’s go.”

“Hey, stay with me.”

“Woah, steady.”

“You’re shaking.”

“I can hear your heartbeat from here.”

“I can feel your heartbeat.”

“Count to ten for me, and then backwards to one.”

“Can you hear me?”

“Just focus on my heartbeat, okay?”

“Nothing is gonna hurt you now.”

“Let me take a look at that wound.”

“Take a few deep breaths, it’ll help lower your heart rate and calm your body down a bit.”

“Match your breathing with mine. You can do it.”

“You’re hurt, I’m not leaving you.”

“Just leave me.”

“I’ll be okay, just go.”

“Your heartbeat is so loud.”

“Can you just…hold me?”

“I won’t let go.”

“I know you’re scared, but you’re gonna have to let me go so I can stop you from bleeding out.”

“You’re not dying. I’m not gonna let you.”

“Am I gonna die?”

“I’m so tired…”

“Can I…just…”

“No, no! Open your eyes!”

“Oh thank god, you’re okay.”

“What happened?”

#☯ // inbox #[liam or jayden?👀] #[shh I’m hoarding memes]

[kxruyucu]

isn’t it IRONIC ? you take care of everyone      ( except yourself. )

#☯ 「 ʜᴇ ᴘᴜɴɪꜱʜᴇꜱ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʜɪꜱ 」// musings #☯ // queue #[stop attacking him like thaaaaat!!]

[kxruyucu]

first impressions matter a collection of meet cutes and meet uglys from yours truly. (add a “swap” to swap the sender/receiver in the prompt (or just do it manually).)

ankle, sender twists their ankle and stumbles forward, coincidentally falling into receiver's arms.

bark, a dog barks loudly, making sender jump and send their phone flying into receiver's face.

chips, sender and receiver both reach for the last bag of chips in the grocery store, their fingers touching by accident.

drink, sender chokes on their drink and ends up spitting it out all over receiver as they walk past.

emergency, in the middle of an awkward blind date, sender pretends to be receiver's friend and helps them get out of the date by faking an emergency.

french, sender pretends they can only speak french to get out of giving a stranger directions. receiver is a witness.

gift, sender is about to get scammed into overpaying for something before receiver steps in to help (and haggle).

hair, sender gets something they're wearing caught in receiver's hair and ends up yanking a chunk of it out when attempting to separate.

ice, sender is ice skating for the first time and skates uncontrollably in receiver's direction.

jail, sender and receiver are both thrown into the same holding cell at a police station.

kid, sender loses a child that they're caring for, only to end up finding them in receiver's company.

lock, sender crashes their ex's wedding, and receiver, a bridesmaid / groomsman, locks them both in the bathroom to prevent sender making a scene.

match, sender and receiver both end up being sat at the same table in a full restaurant.

nauseous, sender is drunk, and while receiver is attempting to help them, ends up throwing up all over receiver's shoes.

oops, sender is carrying a bag full of groceries that ends up breaking. receiver helps them pick their groceries back up.

plug, receiver walks into the bathroom to find sender stuffing tissues up their nose in an attempt to plug up a nosebleed.

quarter, sender doesn't have enough coins for the vending machine, so they stick their hand up the flap and gets their arm stuck just as receiver approaches.

rain, sender and receiver both get stuck under the same awning when seeking shelter from sudden rain.

shh, sender and receiver are both sitting beside each other at the movies. sender keeps whispering to themself every few minutes.

tooth, sender accidentally bites down too hard on their food, resulting in a tooth falling out and skittering across the floor to land at receiver's feet.

undone, the laces on sender's shoes ends up coming undone and they trip and fall, bringing receiver down with them and into the fountain beside them.

vacation, there's a problem with the booking of sender and receiver's hotel rooms and they end up having to share one. thankfully there are two beds.

woods, sender and receiver bump into each other in the woods. one of them is holding a shovel.

x-rated, in a bookstore, sender accidentally drops a few of the erotic books they were planning on purchasing on the floor, which receiver picks up.

yawn, sender, who is dressed down and has not yet slept, bumps into receiver, who is dressed up and just woken up, in line for coffee.

zap, sender calls out to receiver to ask for directions, but as it's late receiver mistakes sender for a creep and tases them.

#☯ // inbox #[liam or jayden?👀]

[kxruyucu]

#☯ // visage #☯ // jayden