cece. she/they. writeblr. ━ but she's a forest fire.
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ksiezniqzka · 10 hours ago
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a love letter for the girl who felt so alone: you're not alone anymore
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ksiezniqzka · 10 hours ago
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my mother's love is choking me
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ksiezniqzka · 11 hours ago
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How am I meant to tell you I love you, I don't have any oranges to peel for you.
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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The other day, I was washing the dishes without my gloves on and I started to dream with my eyes open. Someone I think I loved came up behind me and put my hair up in a loose ponytail because they knew it was going to get in my eye.  They gently tugged the gathered hair to the side and placed a soft kiss on my exposed neck. Tender, like nothing else has ever been. They walked away without saying or doing anything else because that was all they had wanted from me. This all made my throat clench and my chest ache, but I only stopped dreaming when my hair actually got too bothersome. I shut off the tap and swiped my hair away with wet hands and I thought, harshly, that this was happening because I had no lover to care for me. I realised that I should have just put my hair up before I started but it struck me as unfair all the same. You see, I want very much to be touched; affectionately, absently, tenderly, with hunger, without ill-intent. I guess I also want to be loved. Someone who has been both loved and touched tell me if there is a difference.  
My mother asked me once, why my hair is always down. You look messy and wild, she tells me. Mother, I think, my hair is wild so someone can love me.
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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she’s a little too easy to love #1
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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what are you afraid of, foolish girl? being trapped.
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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Red Berries / Two Girls (Lovers) - Egon Shiele / Intimacy - Angelica Alzona / The Lovers -  Akseli Gallen-Kallela
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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“I’m always soft for you, that’s the problem. You could come knocking on my door five years from now and I would open my arms wider and say ‘come here, it’s been too long, it felt like home with you.”
— Azra T (via thoughtkick)
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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we are all going! we are all gone
Illinois Sonnet, Madeleine Jubilee Saito / Rear View Night B, Richard Bosman / Design Your Own Container Garden, The Mountain Goats / Charlotte Ager / Game Shows Touch Our Lives, The Mountain Goats / Autostrada Notturna, Pia Valentinis / Maybe I’m Right and Maybe You’re Wrong, Nancy Friedland / Snow and Dirty Rain, Richard Siken / Last Light, Nancy Friedland / Madeleine Jubilee Saito
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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“She could take the quieter side streets with narrower sidewalks, and she could linger over a pretty view if she wanted.” (last night at the telegraph club, malinda lo) rene wiley / tomoko hara / heikala / mike kowalski
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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i torment her with my thorns and only her because my heart is just so frail. i hold my hatred into me until it seeps in my bones and sends my bones to dust. you pain and i weep, because i am a weak thing but there is a fire in me. because death to my heart, to me. i don't, i don't, I DON'T. everything i am not. so please, tell me it'll be okay.
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ksiezniqzka · a day ago
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Jenny Slate, Little Weirds
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ksiezniqzka · 2 days ago
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my imperfect, unfinished novel is my ticket out of here and the only thing i have left; i love and hate it like i love and hate myself // if i had learned my mother's native cantonese, would everything be different?
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ksiezniqzka · 2 days ago
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when i was in the psych ward when i was 13 they gave me a rug hooking kit. finding comfort then and now in repetitive craft
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ksiezniqzka · 2 days ago
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start here, caitlyn siehl // untitled, fortesa latifi // rien ne va plus, margarita karapanau (trans. karen emmerich) // black iris, leah raeder // the thorn merchant, yusuf komunyakaa // monster movie, nicola maye goldberg // a key to common lethal fungi, marge piercy // give me a god i can relate to, blythe baird // crimson peak, dir. guillermo del torro (2014) // the house of hades, rick riordan.
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ksiezniqzka · 5 days ago
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one of my favorite things about human physiology is the way our eyes change when we look at someone we love. our pupils dilate automatically like they do when it’s dark outside and they’re trying to let more light in. except now it’s the light of your favorite person. the edges of our eyes soften a little and they sometimes even get watery which we also can’t control. tears of joy. we tend to raise our eyebrows as if we’re trying to make our eyes bigger. trying to get a better vision and seeing all the details. we tend to blink less than usual just to make the moment last a bit longer. even if it’s just a second. or when you smile at someone with your entire face involved and your eyes just crinkle and create a sparkle in them. and it all happens so effortlessly and universally.
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ksiezniqzka · 5 days ago
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i am every book i’ve read. every character i’ve loved. every song i’ve replayed, every thought i’ve had. i am made up of every laugh, tear, emotion ripped from me. i am everything i hold dear. i am me.
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ksiezniqzka · 6 days ago
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@honeytuesday // ocean vuong // lorde
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ksiezniqzka · 7 days ago
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[ID: a collection of images. The first one is a tumblr post by @/rednet reading, “it’s always about peeling oranges, but what about tearing bread in half and giving your loved one the bigger piece.” The next two pictures are from the move Matilda in which Miss Honey is smiling and saying, “After supper, he’s take a chocolate, cut in half… and he’d always give me the bigger piece.” The third picture is an excerpt from a poem reading, “the final sour cherry we kept politely / pushing onto each other’s plate, saying, / No, you. But it’s so good. No, it’s yours.” The fourth image is text reading, “I want to share an orange with you. Split it down the middle, pull it apart piece by piece. Let the scent surround us, the color filling the room with a sense if bright. To say this is to say that I want to share with you.” The last image is of people’s hands passing food to each other. End ID.]
@/rednet / Matilda, 1996 / July, Cristin Aptowicz / intimacy - E.C. - 2020 / x
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