Nobody irl told me i could be a trans woman, I found that all out online and even then it took me years to figure out a way to come out that wouldnt involve me being humiliated (it didnt work btw) so no I dont think a trans woman talking to me about gender would have been a problem and probably would have saved me years of torment but hey if more trans women existing is scary to you i guess it makes sense to not want anyone discussing it