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my work charger stopped working i can’t believe it who could have seen it coming

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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#krabs kommunicating #q core

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Another fun thing I do with customers - specifically parents of very small children who don’t know they’re alive yet - is directly imply I think the coffee is for the baby, not the parent. and lemme tell you, like 70% of parents eat that shit up. They immediately go along with the bit and start discussing it with their newborn child, while the baby just stares at us like 😮

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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when something cool happens but you cant say anything to anyone so youre just

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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Stock associate got distracted

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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Goddamn. Okay

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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why are terrible celebrity imagines so funny. how do i find more of these without suffering the indignity of searching “bts imagines”

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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my mom just said she wants to get another dog so she can name him mr beast

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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so I started a new anxiety medication this past week and so far it’s been going very well except that I have extremely vivid dreams and apparently sleep texting. I seem to have sent this at 3am and i have no memory of it

but i am Right

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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#krabs kommunicating #q core

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it's important to me that people know the original "he would not fucking say that" was in response to a tiktok where someone said eric cartman would thank you for asking for his pronouns. Like it just doesn't hit the same without context.

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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#krabs kommunicating #q core

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#krabs kommunicating #q core

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#krabs kommunicating #q core

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world_of_engineering_75 on Instagram

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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me, dipping my finger into a barrel of wine I KNOW is poisoned so that I can lick it and get more information on what we're dealing with: “it'll be fiiine, ya girl has advantage on saves against poison :)”

me 5 seconds later, having rolled a 9 and a 13 against what was apparently WYVERN POISON: “YA GIRL IS A FUCKING DUMBASS—”

#krabs kommunicating #q core

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new rule: if you don't understand this you're not allowed to write superman

#krabs kommunicating #q core