kimballmybeloved

[kimballmybeloved]

"Weird energy in here today" I say, referring to the inside of my brain.

[kimballmybeloved]

t shirt that says “i used to be worse”

[kimballmybeloved]

and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?

[kimballmybeloved]

finished disco elysium. video game of ever maybe

[kimballmybeloved]

#bweeeeee

[kimballmybeloved]

Peesfaggot

[kimballmybeloved]

After life, death

After death, life again

I don't convice so much the color, i have to improve my skills u_u, sorry if you expected something better ^^U

#I don’t have it in me to describe this but it’s so prettty

[kimballmybeloved]

also final word on this probably- I *like* Joyce Messier a great deal as a character. I think she's cool and interesting. I find it fascinating that she tends to approach things very bluntly. the words she uses and the manner in which she analyzes things, this is sort of an instance of a character who knows exactly *what she is* and articulates it in a manner congruent with the writers of the game. she is, as she says wryly but honestly, "a bourgeois woman". i cant think of too many rich people who would without prompting and prodding, self identify with marxist social taxonomies in this way, even with a thin veil of ironic self deprecation. She's educated. she knows the words and the motivating logics of class analysis. and shes *cool*. harry picks that up. honesty is cool. bluntness is cool. cynicism is cool. she is quite open about her place in the world and how she conceives of it. unlike a lot of other powerful figures in the game, i dont think shes completely swallowed by self justifying rhetoric the way, say, sunday friend is. or she is up to a point. she knows about countercultural movements and she has affinities for them and is also aware that they inevitably are consumed by capital. (this, by the way, is kind of complex in that like. ok its a depressing reality but also i think if the de team was fully bought into that line of thinking, they would not make this game. it is telling that joyce of all people would critique cindy on the basis of capital subsuming revolutionary art. I dont think joyce is wrong per se, but i think she is drawn to that line of thinking because it is *very comforting for someone of her class position to dismiss the value and power of revolutionary art and critique of capital* just a thought) She's disgusting in that her power is not rightfully hers. her position is not rightfully hers. she is actively repressing and oppressing others in service of disgusting, semi-fascistic, hypercapitalist forces. shes enjoying the comforts and benefits that such a role allows her. shes disgusting shes frustrating shes profoundly arrogant (as her clash with evrart claire proves definitively). Her self satisfied idiocy is what allows her to play with fire and foolishly assume she cannot be burned. She's smart but her comfortable position puts the blinders on her and so she's also pretty fucking stupid. and shes also deeply deeply sad. I empathize. I pity her. She's so fucking sad. I don't think she is drawn to self medication and self destruction through constant pale exposure or all that rueful nostalgic rumination for no reason. She knows what she is to the world and she knows what she's doing and she's too cowardly and comfortable and self interested to change, but she's too self-aware to ignore it completely. I think she probably dislikes herself to some degree and i think its destroying her. Like most of the cast of the game, she's complex and deeply human. She's hateful, but I also think she is too well realized to hate, at least not for me.

#yessss I love her character #I want to shake her around in a jar

[kimballmybeloved]

my I ❤️ WOMAN SUFFERING (IN A FETISH WAY, NOT A MISOGYNIST WAY) shirt is raising questions obviously answered by the shirt

[kimballmybeloved]

disco elysium is kafkas metamorphosis for the modern age. no one is scared of becoming a bug anymore. the true nightmare? waking up one day and finding out your a cop

#when I originally played the game I had put it on my wishlist MONTHS before and I trusted my past self and bought it when it went on sale #and the Dread I felt when I realized that I was a cop #cannot be compared to anything

[kimballmybeloved]

“I’ve seen the mask of humanity fall from capital”

[kimballmybeloved]

Begin ID - Black and white drawing of Kim Kitsuragi driving the Kineema seen from where the passenger seat would be. He sits with his head against the headrest, hands firmly grasping the control sticks. His expression is firm and stoic. You can see a shining dawn behind him peeking out from the sea. - End ID

early morning, on the way to Martinaise

#fuckin beautiful

[kimballmybeloved]

Begin ID - Graphic from an article called “How to Self-Regulate” by Nawal Mustangs M.A. The left column is labeled “When I am feeling” and is the original text. The right column is labeled. “I will” and the words have been clearly replaced. The table reads as follows:

Angry - kill someone

Overwhelmed - smoke

Insecure - smoke

Rejected - go on a bender and ruin my life x

Discouraged - smoke

- end ID

fixed it‼️

#hdb vibes

[kimballmybeloved]

I love the part of Disco Elysium where Harry shaves and it’s supposed to symbolize him taking control of his life and making a change and he asks Kim how he looks and Kim responds with “Uh…. Bad.”

#I save scummed to get that shave right and was SO disrespected #he just saw his face for the first time like 2 minutes before that #💀 never ask for Kim’s opinion unless you really want it

[kimballmybeloved]

Once i was at a convention and when i got out of the hall to take a breath i saw this middle-aged dude with big fat sideburns, flashy clothes and aviator sunglasses (it was december)

so i went to him and said "Hey, are you Harry Du Bois ?", to which he answered "What?", because he was not at all dressed as Harry Du Bois, for he was actually a security guard, and he had in fact close to no idea nor much interest in what was going on in that hall he was guarding.

But then we talked a bit more, and quite quickly he went on a monologue about the chunky metal wolf head brooches he had one on both lapels of his jacket and how it helped him establish an aura of ferocity and dominance so people wouldn't dare attack him, and how that was very important to him as a security guard, so as far as i'm concerned he was actually Harry Du Bois.

[kimballmybeloved]

Begin ID - an acrylic, more vibrant version of the amorphous “face” that is the Disco Elysium portrait before you look in the mirror. The eyes and mouth are black voids and the nose is a metaphorically pulsing red triangle. The initials KM are in the corner with a ‘23’. You can see the texture of the paint, looking so very touchable - End ID

“Abort! You clearly have not thought this through. You won’t like what you see there -

And you will never un-become it.”

Acrylic on canvas panel

#this is so fucking cool I can’t put it into words

[kimballmybeloved]

Skilltober #20 - Perception

Col Do Ma Ma Daqua

Corpuscle and Wave simultaneously

#man I don’t know how to describe this one