This one is a really personal piece of art to reflect what I've been going through in my life.
BTS (serious) stuff:
This is regarding my struggle with food and eating disorders.
For most of my life I've had a complicated relationship with food. I liked food, but I was instilled guilt for eating and I had severe body image issues.
I developed some serious bad habits that eventually blossomed into an eating disorder. I had convinced myself for years that I wasn't actually suffering, despite my weight tanking and actually destroying my sense of hunger.
It got to a point where my weight was a serious concern. I was constantly told that if I didn't put on weight, I'd start suffering long term complications.
This only got worse when I developed serious depression. With no energy, I just ended up forgoing food for days at a time. I would attempt to put on weight, only to fall off and lose the weight again.
For the better part of 5 years, I've been trying to fix my issues with limited success. This year, I really tried.
This drawing is to celebrate the 10 pounds I've put on since the start of the year. I'm hoping to put on a total of 40 pounds this year to get myself to a better weight.
I'm eating every day. I'm pushing how many calories I put down every meal. I buy food dense in calories to try and compensate for how little I eat.
I'm trying very hard to love myself and to love eating. I want to love food again.
New episode of my let's play of Resident Evil 4 Remake for PC is up on YouTube!
It's time to fight Mendez! Let's take this scary big bald bearded man down!
Sometimes I see a respected mutual in my notes and remember they follow me and I'm like. Should I apologize for what I'm doing here. But they did choose to be in my house
New episode of my let's play of Resident Evil 4 Remake for PC is up on YouTube!
It's time to fight Mendez! Let's take this scary big bald bearded man down!
Goodsmile has preorders opened for Elphelt and Millia plushes (5500 yen each) in case you wanted small elphelt on your desk or couch or fishtank (please don't put her in the fishtank)