jonathanarcher

[jonathanarcher]

is that jean-claude van damme

It’s possible.

#in a very real way he is a gay man. but in a much realer sense he’s a lesbian. hope this helps.

[jonathanarcher]

Two beautiful butch lesbians

#if you don’t know who the other guy is I’m not gonna tell you

[jonathanarcher]

They’ll crucify me for saying this. I think if Janeway, through some sort of time shenanigan, met specifically s3 era Archer they would have some crazy sex. It’s about the isolation of being a part of your crew but also separate by the nature of your position. It’s about the tremendous weight that they both carry as they isolate themselves. It’s about the martyrdom complex. Also we have seen Janeway wanting to bone historical figures before this is the logical extension

#ent #voy

[jonathanarcher]

How the world at large reacts to coop vs mulder

#the x files #twin peaks #I’ve been watching twin peaks recently. I like Cooper he is my friend. he’s like if god didn’t hate mulder

[jonathanarcher]

Garak watches silence of the lambs and thinks hannibal lector did nothing wrong. Julian is sitting by him fuming because “HE EATS PEOPLE GARAK” and garak is just like “do you know how hard it is to find a good meal”

#this is funny. occasionally past me has bangers

[jonathanarcher]

Penis Sex: Reloaded

[jonathanarcher]

by the way, friendly reminder that i have a ko-fi! i don't think i've posted about this on tumblr before, but if you tip me USD$10 or more, you'll get a little personalized thank-you sketch :-)

[jonathanarcher]

In honor of the queapboot being cancelled, a collection of my favorite moments from it from memory but in no particular order

1. When Hannah asked Ben if he thought it was possible for someone to love two people at once, hardlaunching the idea of polyamory

2. Magic lying to a random government official by telling her that Ben could save her dead brother if she allowed the program to continue with the full knowledge that this wouldn’t happen.

3. “His wife, and Al.”

4. Ben and Addison breaking up and Addison being out of the imaging chamber for like half a season ❤️ allowing the side characters to be actual characters.

5. When we had a Very Special Episode about the LA riots and Jenn dropped the line that she “went to a school that wasn’t afraid to teach black history”. Notably, the next episode she did not know what operation paperclip was.

6. Ian saying they were better than everyone else because they were the only one who cares about Ben

7. The return of the evil leapers as like a concept. And by leapers I mean one guy.

8. One time Ben wore an old timey flight stewardess outfit and it was pretty hot

9. The season 2 premiere just being a suicide squad including a guy who’s crime was being gay and he comes out after standing on a land mine but they all use the power of friendship to save him

10. The season 2 finale being inexplicably amazing. Like season 2 was generally pretty good but the finale was GREAT. Also the genuinely legendary haterism of the seasons big bad was a sight to behold he was about to reverse flash it.

11. When Ben leaped into a woman for the first time and was really, really excited about having a vagina

12. BEN SONG BEING SUCH A #ALLY THAT HE INVENTS BEING NONBINARY

#2 quantum 2 leap

[jonathanarcher]

Duchovny has his moments, but I’m not sure if there was anyone as consistently and devastatingly attractive on television as Gillian Anderson was on txf. Ever.

#the xfiles #she’s so. Jesus Christ

[jonathanarcher]

Mulder, who has previously exclusively formed relationships with emotionally manipulative brunettes: you’re the most possessive person I’ve ever known

Scully: you know other people?

I love that Scully is so deeply deeply possessive of Mulder from day one. Girl calm down no one is taking him from you!! You’re the only one that even likes him!!

[jonathanarcher]

I love that Scully is so deeply deeply possessive of Mulder from day one. Girl calm down no one is taking him from you!! You’re the only one that even likes him!!

#the x files #okay so to be fair people are trying to take him from her (the government) but that’s not relevant

[jonathanarcher]

Farscape: Bad Timing

#he is risen. amen.

[jonathanarcher]

the x files should’ve done a gag where at the end of the episode both mulder and scully are seen writing up their reports (aka thinly veiled excuses to wax philosophically) and both are doing their monologues at the same time so it overlaps and turns into nonsense and then it cuts to skinner at his desk with his head in his hands as he tries to cut through the bullshit and figure out how they actually wrapped up the case of the mysterious knife alien

#the x files #yes scully I also wonder if the knife alien represents the inherent human ability to harm each other. what happened to it. #mulder I agree that the existence of the knife alien is grim. MUST all lifeforms learn how to kill. but more pressingly: how much do we need #to reimburse you

[jonathanarcher]

One of my favorite things about farscape is that by the end of the show like all of the characters have developed superpowers. More shows need to do this.

#it’s like if stargate didn’t stop hitting the reset button. #the x files but by the end mulder has heat vision and scully can walk through walls #actually I say that. mulder ever so briefly got the ability to read minds. if it was farscape he would have that for the rest of the show #for context. zhaan has her weird psychic stuff. aeryn has pilot abilities. chiana can see the future kind of. sikozu walks on walls. #jool has a sonic scream. Johnny has his wormholes. stark has whatever tbe fuck stark has. rygel and dargo have each other <4 #the worlds shittiest xmen #farscape

[jonathanarcher]

enough coffee shop aus. time for ‘the thing’ aus. they are trapped together at a research station in antarctica. everyone stands around tensely while getting a blood test. somebody’s head turns into a spider.

#this happened to my friends mulder and scully

[jonathanarcher]

I think about how Mulder was dead for a couple months and had a grave and everything but only in the purely comedic context of him annually dragging Scully down to it from wherever they are so he can take this picture in front of his own grave

#good post past me

[jonathanarcher]

John to Braca every time they meet:

#f slur #farscape #I don’t think John is homophobic. unless it’s for braca ❤️