j-peebles

[j-peebles]

people tell me all the time that if i keep looking for love, im not gonna find it.

i just feel like maybe…if i keep looking i’ll find someone who won’t do me as bad as you did…

like maybe i’ll find them faster… and i won’t have to keep hurting over you.

[j-peebles]

he texted me…

[j-peebles]

i feel like i get strongly attached to most people i experience “firsts” with and it’s not something i necessarily don’t like. it’s more that i hope i can grow in my awareness: just because i experience an important event with a certain person it doesn’t mean that they’re my forever.

context- i experienced something wild last semester and it was something i was going through, not alone but, with another person. as a result, me and that person grew exponentially closer. while i know they’re someone i always want in my life no matter what, in part because of what we had to figure out, we recently ended the romantic aspect to our relationship and man…that shit hurted lmao but we didn’t want the same things. which was wild to me because i figured after so much time and after all that was said, we would be on the same page. he was healing while he was with me and while that’s ok and so was i, we couldn’t see eye to eye. i just say all of this to point out that i felt tethered and almost personally obligated to stay in a relationship that wasn’t serving me just because he made me feel something that no one had before. but it’s ok and necessary to let things go because you’ll have more firsts. you’re not done just because you’re heartbroken.

[j-peebles]

im not finna be into anyone they way i was with you for a while…and i mean that

[j-peebles]

...help 🥺

#jesse #jesse pinkman #breaking bad #aaron paul

[j-peebles]

asked someone out, they said yes. then proceeded to ask if we could just be friends. I accept my rejection and will quietly move on; i’m just a lil bit sad 🥲

[j-peebles]

got a new job and feelin like an adult lmao

[j-peebles]

context for the last post, i met this guy at the beach and he said he didn’t know if i wanted to hang out with him cuz he thought I was a “weenie”. like EXCUSE ME. like, do you want me to hang out with you or not?!? and who uses the word WEENIE?!

[j-peebles]

not someone calling me a WEENIE.

[j-peebles]

i for real fucking love my parents... like to death, man.

[j-peebles]

“Orange Soda” by baby keem was in my dream a couple days ago. i fuck with that 🖤

#baby keem #keem

[j-peebles]

oh...he’s incredibly confusing. i don’t really like him anymore, but when he pays attention to me the feeling comes back? what the fuck is up with THAT?

[j-peebles]

i want to hug my dad forever.

[j-peebles]

anyone else wanna cry sometimes just cause people tell you it helps release tension, but then nothing comes out? it’s FRUSTRATING. and it doesn’t make sense because i’m a cry baby for real and sometimes the tears don’t even come out when i’m sad. maybe i’m just dehydrated, idk.

[j-peebles]

i got my driver’s license a few days ago and i’m really out here feeling like Olivia Rodrigo.

🎶 “i got my drivers license last week, and now i’m gone be out the house” 🎶 or whatever she said

i’m just playin, ik what she said. that song is a BOP

#olivia rodrigo #drivers license #waves #kelvin harrison jr.

[j-peebles]

favorite movie check🖤

#moonlight #chiron #lgbtqia #black side of tumblr

[j-peebles]

lmao i’m in my bag today. but i’m listening to this right now and that’s probably why i thought so much of jesse and jane (toxic relationships for those who don’t know who tf i’m talking about).

but yeah. thoughts continued: i’m just frustrated that i’ve yet to experience a relationship and i’m tired of feeling sorry for myself too. like this panoramic has taught me a lot about loving being by myself and appreciating spending time with me, myself, and i. at the same time, i don’t think it’s crazy or pathetic to want to experience and be in love with someone! am i crazy or is society (social media specifically) constantly pushing the narrative that you shouldn’t seek out relationships or even attempt at being in one if you haven’t found or completely love yourself. idk i just think that’s twisted because i think no matter what, everyone deserves to feel like they are loved, but maybe that’s just me.

also. if you see this, listen to Sam Smith’s version of this song cuz chile... 🖤

#Spotify #amy winehouse #love #relationships #toxicity