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Peter: Hey guys.. What does "take out" mean?

Tony: It means a date.

Steve: Wait.. I thought it meant food?

Clint: In my experience, it means murder.

Natasha: It can mean all three if you're not a coward.

#fanfiction writers #fanfic writers #fanficton #natasha romanoff #clintasha #clint barton #black widow #marvel #marvel fanart #natasha x clint #tony/natasha/clint #tony stark #steve rogers

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requested by anonymous

clintasha au || scars

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Natasha: We have a problem.

Clint: No, YOU have a problem. I just have a wife who keeps creating them.

#natasha romanoff #clintasha #clint barton #black widow #marvel #natasha x clint #clint/natasha #black widow x hawkeye #marvel united #marvel funny

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Honestly, this video made me so happy. 😭

this is EVERYTHING

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Natasha: ...

Clint: ...

Tony: You two are sleeping together, aren't you?

Natasha: No.

Tony: Okay, say I don't believe you.. because I don't. Wouldn't it technically be oral if the person giving a handy is deaf?

Natasha: Tony!

Clint: It is in my experience.

Natasha: Clint!

(Please don't come after me it's a joke inspired by a reel on tiktok 😅)

#natasha romanoff #clintasha #clint barton #black widow #marvel #marvel fanart #natasha x clint #tony/natasha/clint #clint/natasha #deaf clint barton #nsfw #joke dont come after me #just a joke

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I’m sorry but this is so funny to me.. just imagine what could going on here.

Natasha: Hey, Clint.. *trying to hold back laughter* Can you do the thing.

Clint: What, now??

Natasha: Yeah.

Clint: Nat-

Natasha: Please.

Clint: Alright.. Fine. *Fires off a foamy whistling nerf arrow*

Natasha: What did you hit?

*wailing in the distance*

Clint: A small child.

Steve: You hit a child?! Did you miss?!

Clint: I told you; I don’t miss.

Steve: I can’t be apart of this. *walks off arms flailing*

Natasha: Did you really mean to hit that kid?

Clint: No, not all. I definitely missed but I wasn’t going to tell him that.

#jeremy renner #chris evans #avengers #hawkeye #jren #imma need you to wear that more often #kthanx #my stuff #natasha romanoff #clintasha #clintasha fanfic #clintasha shipper #clint barton #black widow crumbs #black widow x hawkeye

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I dont know if you are taking requests but I would love to see a fic where clint have Tourette’s too. Maybe taking about growing up with ts and Natasha finding out? some tics he could have Verbal tics: popping clicking sound whistle throat clearing sniffing. Motor tics: Neck jerking, shoulder shrugging blinking hard or Repetitively eye rolling (gets him in trouble. please no Coprolalia because its actually stereotype and rare! Also tics go away when you are focused on stuff like shooting!

Hey! Thanks for the request! That’s a very interesting prompt idea. I went a head and wrote something for it. I hope you enjoy it! Also apologies for any typos... I wrote this at 3 am.

Misread signals

Since the day Natasha met him, the archer had been nearly completely unreadable. Which, in full honestly, had made him more than slightly harder to trust during their first few missions. The man seemed to have his tics like any other, however his never arrived on time. His obsessive need to clear his throat happened on and off the job, in serious and unserious situations alike. While lying and when telling the truth. To be honest she had at one point thought it was a long con to cover up when he lied to or told half truths to fury and maybe even herself... but as time went on she had since concluded it was just an annoying habit. Kinda like how some people drum their fingers others twist their hair. Everyone has an annoying habit.. Clint’s.. Clint’s was clearing his throat. And it was a habit she’d thought more than once of killing him for especially after having to listen to him over coms for hours during missions. Only for it to miraculously stop the second the mission got serious, of which she was usually thankful for. It always seemed at its worst before a mission though.. assuming it was a way of expelling nervous energy during pre mission jitters but he’d pick up the habit right back up after the mission. The othering that he did was blink. Hard. At first she had thought it was some kind of code. Or message. The longer she was around him the more she realized he just did it somewhat randomly, less frequently than the throat clearing, but it was still on an occasion. She would have thought it was due to fatigue.. but he did it enough that it made the spy wonder if her archer was starting to loose the eye site that had made him Hawkeye. Yet still after keeping a keen eye on her partner, he never missed a target.

What was even stranger to her was that it was near impossible to tell when he lied due to it.. you’d think that it would be easy. Most people pick up tics when they lie, some quit all tics all together... but you could never tell with him because he never did either. This, if which, frustrated the Widow to no end.

What frustrated her more was to find out that he had secrets he was keeping from her. Secrets that seemed small.. but was something she would have expected to know after 3 years of working with someone.

Now standing in front of Clint’s desk Natasha dropped a heavy file on the table top it hit with a satisfying thud. A rather displeased look on her face followed as she glared at her partner who despite her presence being made known had barely acknowledged her.

“What?” He asked not caring to look at the file as he slowly leaned back to look at the woman.

“I read your file.” Natasha stated flatly.

“You’ve read my file a hundred times, Tasha. This isn’t news to me.” He snorts. “I’d be surprised if you didn’t have a copy of it in your nightstand at home-”

“Your un-redacted file.” She corrects almost harshly and she watches his eyes narrow before he leaned back in his seat and clears his throat like she’s heard him do a billion and one times.

“And?” He leads flatly.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had Tourette’s?”

“It’s not exactly something I’m proud of Nat.” He utters shifting almost uncomfortably in his seat. “Is that what this is about?”

“Of course, it is. I’m your partner I need to know this stuff..” She sighs finally collapsing into the chair opposite to his desk.

”It doesn’t change anything.”

“It does..” She insists before watching his facial features tighten. “It means I can’t justifiably fantasize about all the ways I’d like to kill you when you’ve cleared your throat 101 times into the com while we’re on missions.” She adds with a faint smile that seems to be contagious as the archer lets out a small chuckle.

“Believe me, you’re not the first to think of that. Growing up with this, I got my ass kicked more than I’d like to admit.. and by kids only slight smaller than you—”

“You’re really going to make short jokes.”

“Absolutely.” He snorts before clearing his throat to finish the story. “Let’s just say it wasn’t my most shining quality growing up but as time went on I grew out of a few of them. Some stuck around, as you can tell, but there are things that help.”

Natasha nods. “Like you told me about your hearing.. if you live with something long enough, you learn how to live with it.”

“Exactly.” He says while bobbing his head.

“So the blinking.. isn’t you losing your Hawk like sight?”

With a chuckle he shakes his head. “No, not at all. Just fatigue. It’s a tic.. but for the most part it’s brought on by fatigue.”

Natasha nodded to the confession. “I hate knowing you got picked on for this and that people made you feel less for it. You’re not less.” She somewhat blurted in a soft manner.

“I know, Nat. It took me years to see that but I know.” He said with a soft smile of which she reciprocated. “Now that that’s out of the way. You wanna grab lunch?” He says switching gears so quickly that it pulled a chuckle from Natasha.

“Where do you wanna eat?”

“Jimmy’s Pizza, obviously.” He says with an eye roll as if Natasha didn’t already know this and grabbed his keys from his desk drawer before getting to his feet.

“Again?” She complains with a smile but stands to follow him out the door.

“They have the best pizza!” Clint exclaims as they both round the corner into the hall and out of sight.

#natasha romanoff #clintasha #clint barton #black widow #marvel #natasha x clint

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“this ship isn’t canon” to YOU. I, however, am delusional

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Endgame is so funny they’re like “oh there’s one stone where you have to kill someone to get it. Send the codependent pair with no superpowers to get that one.”

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Clint Barton is the most (if not only) important man in Natasha's life. Who the hell is Steve Rogers? She literally died for Clint and would do it all over again.

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Thank you!!

And people get pissed when I say that it would have been better if Tony and Steve went to vormir. If Steve would have died there his life as captain America could have amounted to something! Instead he went back in time to be with an already happily married woman who had moved on with her life! How he didn’t mess up the timeline I don’t know but they way the Russo brothers wrote endgame sucked! And to be frank.. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive them for killing off Natasha.

(Not to mention, killing off a strong female lead has been a popular movie move for years. Strong women are expendable. Strong childless women even more so and I hate that the marvel universe continued to push that narrative.)

ngl kinda upset that people are villainizing clint for a decison that natasha made… clint tried to let natasha live SO HARD that he was HALFWAY DOWN THE CLIFF before natasha caught up… so don’t blame clint, blame the shitty writing in endgame :D

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Starts writing a spicy fic at 12:30 am, gets halfway done and falls asleep with my phone in my hand. #Writersbelike

#writers on tumblr #fanfiction writers #this is me #this is a cry for help #why am i like this #fanfic writers #writerscorner

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WHY DIDN’T WE GET THIS!!!!! I feel so attacked knowing this was cut from the script.

Captain America vs. Black Widow | ‘Civil War’ Splash Panels x

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Broken Rebound

***** Plot: Basically Natasha is trying to get over Clint and she’s failing merbaby.

*****

Her body tensed as she was grabbed and pulled into a kiss that was far too rough for her liking. Far too hungry and too eager. Perhaps it hadn't have been a problem another life time ago.. but tonight it made her stomach turn to be touched like this.

This, however, was unbeknownst to the younger agent who was being far too impulsive with his one and only chance with the infamous Black Widow. He clearly lacked the experience of her older partner and for that she was trying desperately not to judge him for. Yet she found herself reminiscing about the Archer who had bid her goodbye not but weeks before in order to follow his dream of finding someone he could start a family with. her thoughts turned bitter upon remembering the office gossip she had over heard. Apparently a little blonde agent with a bird name was in her archers sights now. What was it the Americans said? Birds of a feather.. or something like that.

Natasha’s mind had obviously drifted from the task at hand, not that Ward, the agent aiding her in her sinful rebound, even noticed. She herself hardly notice until he bit her bottom lip just a little to hard and drew blood. This snapped her attention back to the younger agent. According to his files he was almost as good as she was in a lot of things. This, however, was not proving to be on of his strong suites. Utter disgust for the man before her pooled in her stomach as he grabbed at her waist and pushed her body into her couch but she wasn’t quiet ready to put an end to the charade. Maria had told her that a rebound would do her some good.. help her get over the hump that was Clint Barton but she'd never know if she stopped now. So instead she kissed him back just harshly and let the Widow out of her cage to take over. It was always less painful this way.

Perhaps, if Clint had let the Widow take over every now and again she wouldn’t be suffering through this agonizing and amateur exchange of passion that caused her to think bitterly of herself. Instead he saw through every act of hers and forbid her from performing. Instead he made her promise to feel every emotion and every sensation.. all of which turned into the sharpest daggers that he plunged into her heart when he left her. Now that pain, she had felt with every ounce of her soul. Natasha’s heart pricked at the memory and the Widow latched onto the man caught in her web. Slipping on top she took full control of the situation. Her hips rocked and her lips brushed against his in a teasing fashion spurring him into the frizzy she knew all to well he’d fall into. He tried to help, to rub against her in a helpful way but Natasha was left to roll her eyes every time this agent some how managed to miss the mark Clint never had. Her eyes rolled once more as his head ducked to her chest and he tried to kiss his way down only to be halted by the fabric of her shirt that protected her for now. Before that could change she pushed him back into the sofa and turned his head to the side to kiss something other than his lips. She had him moaning her name before her lips even traveled down his neck.

Slowly the Widow began to calm with the control she had gained and again gave the young agent free reign with the hope that he wouldn't abuse it. With his new found freedom he it he quickly took control and flipped her onto her back before he began to gently worship his way down her neck. For a moment, everything melted away as she closed her eyes and let softest moan part her lips for the first time that night. Maybe this would work after all? Or at least she hoped as Ward continued to worship his way down her collar bone before slowly lifting her shirt. For once he wasn’t met with any resistance and he took the opportunity to carefully kiss down the the center of her chest before flicking his tongue over a sensitive mound of her breast. It was then that Natasha almost moaned the wrong name as she imagined that she was burying her hands in her archers thick blonde hair just one more time. Ward was no where near as good as Clint had been but with her eyes closed he was close enough in that moment. So she kept her eyes closed knowing that she’d find ebony locks between her fingers and the face of a man she hardly cared for should she open them.

Allowing herself some peace, she to melted into the moment and lived in the memory of events that had long since passed. However it was short lived when he destroyed the moment with a with a harsh kiss. Her eyes snapped open and he bit her bottom lip hard enough to make her bleed for the second time that night. He then slid his teeth down her lip, splitting it right down the center before finally letting her go. Fire ignited in her eyes and anger swelled within her as the widow flipped them over and took the control back once again. He had officially lost all rights. Her shirt fell back around her waist as she pinned his hands above his head and rocked her hips until she felt him quivering beneath her. The Widow leaned in and with a growl commanded him, he arrived long before he ever got to remove his clothes, let alone hers. Yet he was left panting beneath her. Bliss showed on his features as she finally freed herself and slid off of his lap.

“You’re good.” Ward chimes as Natasha stood up.

“As good as you thought I’d be?” The Widow plays along coyly.

“Better! So much better!” A smile shows on her lips at his hasty answer. “So where do we sleep?”

“I didn’t know you were planning on staying.” She replies pointedly with a lifted brow.

“I wasn’t. I'm not. I’m joking.” He back pedals with a awkward chuckle and his answered met with a shrug.

“Well, this was fun.. but I’ve got an early morning. I’m sure you do too.” Natasha leads and the other agent nods.

“I've got to be up in a few hours myself.” He answers while getting up to grab his things. “But this was fun! We should do this again.”

“I’m not going to be state side for a few months.” She says flatly as she gets the door for him.

“Oh, that’s a shame.”

“A pity really.” Again her voice is flat as he slips past her and out the door.

“Hey.. Nat-“ her eyes narrow. “Natasha..”

“Yes.”

“Where you close?” He asks with a dorky grin.

“So close.” She lies flawlessly and with a smile all before sending him down the hall and out of her life for good. The door closes and Natasha groans before securing the deadbolt. “... So close to killing you and making it look like an accident..” She muses to herself as she heads back towards her bedroom.

She'll have to think of another way to get over her partner. Just not tonight.

#clint barton #clintasha #natasha romanoff #black widow x hawkeye #black widow #marvel funny #clint x natasha #marvel hawkeye #marvel black widow #natasha x clint #black clover #clintasha fic #hurt no comfort #rebound #failed relationship #breakup #cant get over it #grant ward #natasha x ward #forbidden ship #kinda eww #not a fan #but it still hurts #im hurtin

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Natasha (laying in bed with a migraine): If you ever thought of killing me now would be the time to do it.

Clint: Not gonna happen.

~10 minutes later~

Natasha: Even if you’ve never thought of killing me nows the time to do it.

Clint (leans over and gently wraps his hand around her throat with a grin on his face): Like this?

Natasha (fearless at first and then suddenly flustered): ...

Clint (removes his hand also suddenly flustered): ...

Natasha: No, no.. Not like that. You have to commit to it! All you did was turn me on...

Clint: Yeah... I turned myself on too. So suffocate you with the pillow next time?

Natasha: Who are we kidding? You wouldn’t commit to it.

Clint (cocky): No I wouldn’t.

#clintasha #fanfiction writer #fanfiction writers #fanfic writers #what if #natasha romanoff #black widow x hawkeye #inaccurate quotes #marvel hawkeye #marvel black widow #marvel funny #black widow #clintasha fic #clint x natasha #clintasha shipper #clintasha fluff

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*thinks about my favourite character getting fucked over by canon* this is unacceptable *goes off to write fic where I fuck them over in my own, superior way*

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Me with my 18 drafts and half written stories.. I kid you not. Some of these stories are 15 pages long and 5 months old and I just stoped in the middle... I will finish them one day. 👵

Found this while looking for something earlier and I feel called out lmao