itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

if this post gets 500 or more things (reblogs, likes, comments) then ill eat an actual meal for the first time in almost a year bc im living off of microwaveable popcorn

i doubt this will happen so while i wait im gonna make microwaveable popcorn and yall cant stop me :)

my account so small this wont happen so imma enjoy my microwaveable popcorn 🤭

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

In my little house made of reeds I made pots. Though my fingers were then knobby and shook when I turned the wheel, each morning I still climbed down the steep banks of the river beneath the willow trees to dig for clay. Today I still lay by their roots as the sun dips below the hills.

Once I had a wife to hold me before I lay to rest on my mats. She would be waiting for me at home, though now she remains only a ghost in the pale moonlight pouring through the spindle branches. She watches me as I curl up in this silty bed.

That night I dream I am a wild dog. I slip between tufts of grass, lightly skipping after forest scents like I weigh nothing. I run at a gallop without feeling anything. My arthritic knees which buckle under the weight of a basket of clay launch me over my neighbor’s stone wall in a great graceful arch. I howl my ecstasy to the full moon. My neighbor comes out of his two story house with his wife behind him, lantern in hand. My shame is gone in this dream as I dance over to him.

“Is it not a beautiful night!”

I am not asking him, I simply cannot help but exclaim at the wonder of it all.

I draw him into my dance, jumping on my back legs and carrying him around and around in circles. Our leaps take us higher and higher into the sky, kissing the moon with each arc. In our spinning, my neighbor’s face becomes my wife’s. In our embrace I kiss her, her warm lips filling me with the heat of life. We are flying.

———

I do not remember my thought process in writing this, nor do I remember how it was meant to end. Everything past this is a guess at what this story was meant to say.

———

I pull away bloody and ashamed. My neighbor’s wife screams to match my howling. Her lantern bites me in the tail as I dip into the shade of the bushes.

I retreat to the riverbank, hiding from the torch glow. The forest is swarming with human-ness, the scent of their coins and the fat on their chins, the stench of pitchforks and disgust.

But they will not find me until the morning. I will be curled up like an animal beneath the willows, with my face towards the sky. My broken body, covered in detritus, will bear like a gem in a crown the full moon’s final kiss farewell.

#writing #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #writeblr #writblr #reading and writing #creative writing #writer #writers #writerscommunity #writing community

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

Unmute !

#goddamn this is so cute

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

#public transit #this is so important #I was a commuter student for a while and let me tell you IT SUCKED #I didn’t have a car so I had to take a bus and then a train and then walk #I lived 20 minutes away from the school by car #but it took me over 2 hours to get home every day #bc my bus was 30 minutes after my class #and then my train was an hour after my bus got to the station #and then the train ride was 20 minutes #and then the walk from the train to my house was 15 #genuinely a horrible commute especially in winter #and the architecture in the train station was extremely hostile #there were only 2 benches indoors #for a train station that serviced a HUGE metropolitan area #and so of course there was never anywhere to sit #which meant standing in the station for an hour during cold days #bc there were benches outside #but they were also in an isolated spot so it felt unsafe at times #overall 1/10 experience #the only reason it’s not 0/10 is because it made me really appreciate how much we need to #fix our public transportation

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

ENTRY LEVEL MEANS NO EXPERIENCE. IT MEANS NO PORTFOLIO OF RELEVANT SAMPLES. ENTRY LEVEL IS ENTRY LEVEL

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

Literally nothing could be more fun for me than reading my own writing from months ago and forgetting i was the one who wrote it. Im glued to the screen and i cant wait to find out what happens next. Bitch YOU made it up!!!!

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers #creative writing #writer #writing community #writerblr #writer things #reading and writing #fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 #I’m so sorry all my readers #someday that fic will see it’s end #not today tho

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

#having such a hard week but I’m gonna remember this

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

Original

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

everyone's doomed by the narrative bitch let's get you some fruit

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

I don’t want to find out about world events anymore

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

Lobster - Aluminum Foil Sculpture

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

㋡🥀

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

Blew all my money on finery. call me baroque.

#history #history jokes #history memes #art history #baroque #art history jokes #art history memes #finery #shitposting

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

Go Check Out My Redbubble

Just putting it out there on here that I have a redbubble! Here is the link if anyone is interested in supporting it. I mostly do jellyfish and botanical designs but there are some other designs in the works right now so be on the look out for that!

#artists on tumblr #digital art #digital illustration #digital drawing #digital painting #redbubble #art #artwork #digital artist #small artist #my art #illustration #jellyfish #stickers #botanicals

[itookthesenseofhumorinthedivorce]

a fox attacked the chickens this afternoon!

I heard the ladies screaming, so ran outside. Wormbecca was running circles yelling her head off, while Tallgeese just stood there placidly allowing herself to be dragged off. which is at least in character for her.

I chased the fox out of the yard with a shovel, locked Wormy in the coop, and then checked over Tallgeese for injuries. luckily, she doesn’t look to have any broken skin. Tallgeese is moulting at the moment, and is an incredibly fluffy bird, so all the fox managed to get was a mouthful of loose feathers. she has a new bald spot, which will probably be all sad and bruised tomorrow, but no broken bones, no tooth punctures, etc. we got extremely lucky!

I’ve never actually seen a wild fox before, so am hoping this guy is a passerby rather than a permanent resident. in any case, the ladies will be shut in the run for the next couple months - the fox can’t reach them through the chickenwire, and should hopefully learn that all it gets from this yard is an angry 6′2 torontonian with a shovel.

Upstairs George has also been promoted to chicken guardian (he gets to hold my shovel and everything). not sure how smart foxes are, but it can’t hurt.