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Counting down the days until we say “I do!”

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source

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You are more than your job, your mistakes, your fears. You are more than your vulnerabilities and traumas and all the things which trigger severe anxiety, all of rich are valid. You are more than your past and not knowing any better, you are more than your pain and your grief and aching wounds. You are more than any one thing. You are more, you are so much more.

You are compassion, you are relentless hope for a better life, you are infinite love for your dearest ones, you are radiance and playfulness. You are joy incarnate, you are sensuality and spontaneity.

You are infinite light and you are love.

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it's okay to get things that make you happy, you are not a waste of resources

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maybe mediocrity isn’t wrong. maybe you don’t need to be the best at everything you do. maybe you don’t need to be the best at anything you do. it’s ok to simply do things because you enjoy doing them. its ok to not want to advance in your job. nothing has to be a competition. you don’t need to be better than anyone. you can do things just because they’re fun. you don’t need to read up on the history, and know everything about it. its ok to just exist. its ok.

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@ still.life

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We are trudging along the road of recovery.

These past few weeks have been really rough

Depression is a bitch.

I’m still sober.

#depression #sober #sober nights #recovery #life #just for today

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Last post about not sweating alcohol.

Hilarious but true.

Now I dodge ppl at the gym bc I smell like sweet in a gym and not alcohol AND sweat in a gym.

I bought a bike. Fuji Absolute 1.7.

I’m in love with her.

We have 87.5 miles in the 13 weeks we’ve been together. Thinking it will be nice to make it a round 100 miles tomorrow to mark 2 weeks.

200 miles a month feels reasonable for a beginner such as myself.

My brother and I are working up to riding the trail from Hunt Valley, MD to York, PA which is like 43 miles one way.

Biking is super nice because it’s LOW IMPACT. my body can’t take anymore impact activities after years of sports in the olden days.

Overall, I feel stronger. Naturally occurring dopamine is helping with my overall mood. I’m actually sleeping through the night and exhausted in the evenings.

18 months of sobriety under my belt.

I think I’m finally finding out who I am and what I really enjoy.

This is the life.

#bike life #Fuji bikes #sober nights #sober life #alcohol #recovery #life #sober #personal #sobriety #just for today #one day at a time #alcoholism #addiction #cycling #biking in recovery #we do recover #self care #lifestyle changes

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18 months sober.

I’m consistently working out, for the first time in…like ten years.

I feel amazing.

I’m not sweating alcohol.

I control my body, my body doesn’t control me!

#sober #life #recovery #alcohol #personal #just for today #sobriety #alcoholism #one day at a time #addiction #sober life #aa #sober living #self care #sober is sexy #reflections #lifestyle changes #sober movement #sober stories #18 months #recover out loud #we can recover #we do recover

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It’s from yesterday but - man. It’s good.

Daily Reflection Aug 16

We might next ask ourselves what we mean when we say that we have "harmed" other people. What kinds of "harm" do people do one another, anyway? To define the word "harm" in a practical way, we might call it the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 80

I had been to Eighth Step meetings, always thinking, "I really haven't harmed many people, mostly myself." But the time came when I wrote my list out and it was not as short as I thought it would be. I either liked you, disliked you, or needed something from you—it was that simple. People hadn't done what I wanted them to do and intimate relationships were out of hand because of my partners' unreasonable demands. Were these "sins of omission"? Because of my drinking, I had "dropped out"—never sending cards, returning calls, being there for other people, or taking part in their lives. What a grace it has been to look at these relationships, to make my inventories in quiet, alone with the God of my understanding, and to go forth daily, with a willingness to be honest and forthright in my relationships.

#sober #life #recovery #alcohol #just for today #sobriety #alcoholism #one day at a time #addiction #sober life #sober living #aa #daily reflection #sober is sexy #reflections #self care #lifestyle changes #we do recover

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“There is no wrong way to pray, you just gotta pray!”

All week long…on vacation…I’ve been having drinking dreams varying in intensity. I have not had a drink in any of those dreams but the desire to drink is crazy strong…in the dreams I am setting up the scenario for drinking, planning, preparing.

Last nights’s dream: I was returning from vacation and there were people in my house who I didn’t say could come by and I was so mad they were there bc I just wanted to “wind down” and start drinking. In the dream I ended up calling my boyfriend and he was like you can’t drink. We didn’t drink all vacation, you can’t break your sobriety in your house by yourself. This statement def made me consider- yeah if I was gonna drink I should’ve done it on vacation and we could’ve really turned up. No point in drinking alone now.

In my dream I thought about all that I would loose if I drank.

Then I got on a meeting this morning.

I’m having a really hard time with praying lately.

The majority of this vacation I’ve been sitting in silence with my thoughts instead of trying to drown my thoughts w sounds/ podcasts/ scrolling. I haven’t been praying. I feel like I have nothing to give. A mental block. Nothing to say. Stuck. I’m stuck. I feel like I’m stuck in a little ditch and can’t rock my way out of it.

Just a simple “thank you for keeping me sober” is better than nothing at all. There is no wrong way to pray.

#sober #life #personal #recovery #alcohol #just for today #sobriety #alcoholism #one day at a time #addiction #sober life #aa #sober living #self care #sober is sexy #reflections #drinking #drinking dreams #soberaf #sober movement #sober vacation #vacation

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Be gentle with yourself. Small, consistent progress is better than no progress at all. Each step counts. You are on the right track. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You are worth it of it all. Keep going.

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It’s okay to grieve for lost potential.

It’s okay to grieve for time spent surviving instead of living.

It’s okay to wish you could go back and change the past.

And it’s okay if you don’t feel up to it yet, but one day you’ll be able to stand up and decide to create a new future to make up for it. 💞

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