ioweitalltoyou - Tumblr blog

ioweitalltoyou · 14 days

Note

hello! love your work!

request for the opposite of mommy issues: hotch yelling at an unsub in interrogation + putting rude local police in their place, reader weak in the knees:))

or alternatively, reader is the one BEING interrogated (as a witness maybe) but the fear tactics don't work bc unfortunately it just turns her on

thank you so much! you're very kind, i appreciate the request:) this is pretty tame but i would be happy to do an nsfw sequel if anyone was interested in it!?

Warnings: mentions of murder/anxiety/sexual thoughts

wc: 2,000+

Masterlist or Read on Ao3!

Drums. That’s what it reminded you of. Your foot tapping rapidly against the desk as the clock ticked slowly on the wall. It was like a morbid drumbeat coming at you.

Interrogation rooms should have music.

There was sweat too, lots of it. Innocent sweat, you hadn’t done a damn thing, especially nothing that would warrant the police kicking your door down at three in the morning, but here you were. Sweating in an interrogation room with no music.

“Stars shining bright a-above y-you.” You couldn’t get the words out; your breathing was laboured. You were innocent, but they didn’t seem to know that. You couldn’t even make your own music.

You didn’t know what you were being held for, you had been handcuffed in the room for so long that your entire body was freezing, they had grabbed you when you were sleeping so you had nothing on but a long tee and some panties.

When they first dragged you out of bed you had been scared but ready to fight. When you got to the police station you had been angry, but over the hours you had deflated, you guessed that's what the police wanted. You just didn’t know why.

“Se-seem to whisper I l-love you.” What was the next line? You couldn’t remember. Maybe one of the policemen knew.

“What do we have here?”

“This is our unsub.” The policeman looked so proud of himself that Hotch wanted to laugh.

He didn’t, but he could have at their sheer stupidity.

“That.” He pointed through the glass to where you couldn’t see him. “That right there is the person you picked up. The person you are accusing of murdering four men, all at least three times her size?” The team came in to join him, all looking through the glass to see you, Morgan huffed a laugh as Rossi moved closer.

“Is she singing?”

“It’s a response to extreme nerves, she looks like she’s trying to ground herself.”

“Reid she’s singing the same two lines over and over.”

“Well, how would your memory be if you were handcuffed in an interrogation room in your underwear?”

At the mention of underwear Hotch reached his limit and flew into the interrogation room, his jacket was off before you could even look up.

“Ma’am my name is Aaron Hotchner with the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI, please take this to cover your legs, I apologise for your wait.”

He only got a quick look, but he wasn’t sure if he could focus with your bare legs out like that, they looked too good.

Gorgeous. Warm. Smells good. Not the point. Focus Y/N.

“Sir please, I- I don’t know what’s happening, I’m-”

He held his hand up to stop your onslaught.

“Ma’am please, if you can answer one question for me, I can have you out of here in almost no time.”

You nodded.

“Where were you on Thursday night?”

Your brain short circuited and you had to think for a second. Not too long as you didn’t want it to look like you were making things up.

This was a little easier than song lyrics thankfully.

“Thurs- Thursday? It’s my- my, I’m sorry, hold on.” You tried to cough into your elbow but as you were still handcuffed it wound up on the floor. You felt a little dehydrated after all the crying you’d done in the last few hours. You hoped you still looked nice for this FBI agent.

Before you could resume talking an older gentleman came in carrying a glass of water and a handcuff key. He unlocked you and placed the water in your shaking hand, helping you drink and then leaving the room.

“Thanks Dave. Thursday night? Ma’am?”

“Y/N. My name is Y/N.”

“Y/N.”

You loved the way it sounded almost as much as he loved the way it tasted.

“Thursday night, there's a bar round the corner from my house, it has a pub quiz on a Thursday, I had dinner and drinks there and even got a cab home, it would all be on my card, I have friends that can testify to that and there’s also photos on my phone after we won.” You paused. “I'm really very smart you know.”

Agent Hotchner huffed a laugh and motioned towards the giant mirror behind him. A blonde woman came in a few minutes later.

“Garcia says it all checks out; this isn’t our unsub.”

“Alright JJ thanks. Can you take her and get her situated in an interview room for me, with some clothes too please?”

“Sure.”

He turned back to you, your anxiety riddled brain was having trouble keeping up. “I'm sorry, what’s happening?”

“No miss, I’m sorry, you were brought in falsely and if you’ll go with Agent Jareu then she’ll get you settled so I can explain to you what can happen from here on out.”

You wanted to ask your questions then and there, but Agent Hotchner had stormed out of the room.

You turned to Agent “JJ” and raised your brows.

“Well let's just say that I wouldn’t want to be the police department right now.”

He stormed through the station, looking directly for the sheriff. If he met anyone else, he may put their head through a wall.

“Who was the arresting officer?”

The sheriff looked dizzy but stood to meet him at the door.

“I’m sorry agent?”

“The girl in the interview room, which idiot brought her in?”

The sheriff looked wary to turn over one of his men to this, clearly homicidal, FBI agent but he led him to the middle of the station to where a group of men were standing drinking coffee.

JJ and Rossi came up behind him with the rest of the team not far behind.

Sheriff turned to Hotch: “I’ve heard it was a group effort sir.”

Hotch breathed in through his nose. It didn’t stop him from yelling.

“You lot arrested that girl?”

They grinned, expecting praise. “We sure did! Broke down her door like a S.W.A.T. team!” The high fives were what really send the BAU agent over the edge.

“With WHAT?! What evidence did you have?! She has a strong alibi?! Did you even ASK?! Did you even get her NAME before throwing her in an interrogation room?!”

This took the wind from their sails. “You told us to look at people that-”

“To ask questions! To find witnesses! Not to arrest poor girls in the middle of the night and keep them chained up for hours in their underwear!”

“We thought-”

“I don’t care! For now, on you don’t do anything without my team’s say so! You don’t think without asking my agents for help first!”

The sheriff tried to jump in. “Now Agent Hotchner...”

Luckily Morgan responded before Hotch could tear the man’s head off.

“You don’t understand what’s gonna happen now do you? Your colleagues basically just terrorised a completely innocent woman with no evidence or plausible cause. They didn’t even read her charges, even if she had been guilty-”

The sheriff shrugged. “So what? I’ll send Jack and the boys in there to apologise, and you send her on her way. She isn’t guilty so what does it matter?”

Rossi laughed. “Look around you sheriff, you can’t swing a cat in this department, it’s one of the smallest I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been doing this for a very long time.”

This successfully brought the sheriff up to Hotch’s anger level, the other policemen still standing like scolded children. “And?”

An equally angry Hotch responded. “So, what do you think will happen to your shoebox if she decides to sue?”

Sitting in a comfy interview chair with a pair of FBI sweatpants on, you felt more comfortable to finally let your indignation wash over you in waves. You paced the room a few times and finally worked up the nerve to leave, what met you at the door was dinner and a show.

Agent Hotchner was screaming at the police, he was red in the face, commanding, angry and once you tuned into the words, you realised it was all on your behalf.

It was incredibly sexy; you loved a protective man, and this man was walking sex in a suit and tie.

You watched him hurl various insults at the angry policemen and then look towards you. You felt like a child caught watching your parents fight so you went back into your little interview room and waited to be seen.

It didn’t take long.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” He sat down across from you.

“Don’t worry about it agent. I don’t mind seeing you like that.” His head thumped when you called him agent and he had a brief image of you calling out his first name that he stomped down quickly and professionally.

“May I ask you some questions? You are of course free to leave but I thought you might want to know what was happening first.”

“Uh huh.” You looked at the thick stack of files in his hand. “So, you want to cover your ass is that it?”

He laughed and you drank it in. “I- yes, that’s exactly what it is, we’re legally obligated to do this.”

You pouted. “So, you didn’t just want to spend more time with me?”

He glanced up, taking in your playful demeanour and pretty smile. He recognised the signs of flirting but for once he didn’t want to shy away.

“Well, I could have let one of the other agents handle it but...”

You grinned at his reciprocation. He looked like a man who knew how to play. "So, what was I arrested for sir?”

Before he could answer a young policeman came in and interrupted.

“Agent-”

“I’m busy.”

“But sir-”

“If there is a pressing issue, I’m sure agent Rossi will be more than happy to draw an answer out in crayon.” He turned his back on the door and his face changed when he was looking at you once again.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don’t be. That was hot.”

He sighed out a laugh. “Well, it’s good to see you’re feeling better.”

“These FBI sweats give a girl confidence; I like the blue.”

“It looks good on you.” You blushed a little and for a second, he forgot why he was there.

He tried to straighten up and get serious, but he couldn’t stop imagining your legs wrapped around his head. “Now, as you know, due to your situation, you are of course well within your rights to sue the police department, I’ve written down a list of things for you to take to a lawyer.”

“Clever boy.”

“Well, I used to be a prosecutor.”

“Sexy boy.” You wanted to make him nervous, but it had no effect. He just looked at you until it was you that was blushing again instead. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Now as the FBI have been called in to assist, you are also within your rights to sue us too.”

“No thanks.”

He stopped short. “But you can-”

“I don’t want to.”

“You were treated badly.”

“Not by you.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing-”

“Can I keep the sweats?”

“Well- yes, if you’d like.”

“Can you get me a shirt to match?”

“Yes, I could.”

“Excellent, matter sorted.”

You stood up and made to leave, knowing fine well he was following you out the door. You hadn’t seen your ass in the sweatpants yet, but they were tight enough that you knew there must be something working for you.

The matching tightness in his pants agreed with you.

“Is there anything else I can do for you agent Hotchner?”

He detailed the case they were working, why you were arrested and on what charges. The more he spoke the more ludicrous your arrest became.

You just wanted to get home to bed, and possibly bring agent Hotchner along with you.

“There is a form, I’d like you to sign, stating that you have no intentions of suing the FBI or any members of my team.” You signed it without reading it. You couldn’t explain why, but you already trusted this man.

“That all?” You were waiting, he looked like he desperately wanted to say something, but nerve lost him.

You didn’t want the conversation to end there so you tried to lighten the mood.

“You want to knock out one of the officers for me?”

He shook his head with a smile.

“How about a date then?”

Big Bad Agent Aaron Hotchner stuttered for a full minute before handing over his business card. You smiled and walked away.

He waited until you reached the door before shouting to you, loud enough for every policeman in the area to hear.

“You’re still gonna sue the police station though?”

“Oh yeah!”

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ioweitalltoyou · 18 days

Text

I’m actually so crazy proud of this, usually I’d finish this sooner but my hands been hurting really badly and I’ve lose my pen 5x a day😔 ( update: I lost my own again )

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ioweitalltoyou · 2 months

Text

Dancing On My Own (Tiesto Remix)- pt 2

After some pushback from the first, I knew I had to write a second part, and quick. this should placate most of you.

Summary: the aftermath.

Part 1.

WC: 2.25k

tags: @lakita-fisher @weeeeeeeeee3 @lilsmeaux @@morgana-larkin

You somehow make it home unscathed- you could barely see as you drove through your tears, your breakup playlist on full blast. You guess you’re officially done. With Melissa already having a new woman, you wonder just how much you ever even meant to her.

As soon as you’re pulling into your spot, the waterworks hit in full- as if they weren’t already. You rip off the jersey and hat that you wore out, not caring where they land as you throw them into your front room. You had bought a bottle of wine to share with the redhead that you fell madly in love with to celebrate getting back together, and hopefully a big win, but now that seems wrong to drink on your own. You reach for the vodka instead.

You don’t show to school the next day, calling out claiming that you’re sick. And you are. Your heart hurts more than you ever thought possible, and your hangover is killer. You spend the morning laying in bed, eyes rimmed red. The redness won’t be going away any time soon.

Melissa saunters into the school, happy that she hasn’t seen your car in the parking lot, and doing a little dance because her team won. She’s also quite happy that she was able to rebound with last night- even if she didn’t particularly enjoy the woman that she spent her time with. She much rather would’ve spent time with you, but… you were… are a Cowboys fan.

“Someone’s happy,” Barbara chuckles. She thinks she knows why. “Did you have a good night at the game?”

“I did!” Melissa grins. “I took this girl I met at the bar, and-”

The kindergarten teacher’s face drops. “What?”

“I wasn’t going to let the ticket I had for Y/N go to waste,” the redhead shrugs. “So I asked Lena if she wanted to go with me to heckle the Cowgirls fans.”

“Oh no,” Barbara whispers. “Oh, no. no. no.”

“What? I figured after Y/N and I, I should get myself back out there.”

“No,” Barbara states again with fire. “Oh good god.”

“What?! What, Barb?”

“I- I have to go make a call,” the kindergarten teacher grabs her coffee mug and heads out quickly. She closes her classroom door as she dials your number.

Your phone starts ringing far too loudly, and you groan. You glance at it and see Barbara’s contact picture light up.

“Hello?” you groan into the phone, just barely sitting up. Your voice is rough, both from the tears and the fact that you haven’t spoken since last night.

“Sweetheart,” your coworker whispers to you. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Home,” you grumble. “Sick.”

The kindergarten teacher frowns. “Sick? Lovesick?”

“Heartbroken,” you whisper, voice cracking slightly. “She was there with someone else. You knew, didn’t you?”

“Y/N, dear,” Barb sighs quietly. “If I had known that she was talking to someone else, I never would’ve told you to go for it. In fact, when she came in dancing today I thought it was because the two of you got back together.”

“Nope,” you pop the ‘p’. “She had her tongue down someone else’s throat.”

“Honey, I am so sorry,” the woman tells you softly.

“I’m not mad at you,” you tell her genuinely. “You didn’t do anything wrong but try to help me.”

“Can I do anything else for you?” Barbara asks.

You sigh. “Just… when I come back to work tomorrow, pretend I was sick? I don’t feel like having Janine jump down my throat.”

“I can do that,” the kindergarten teacher says softly. “And please know that even though the two of you aren’t involved anymore, we are all still on your side. You’re still a part of our-”

“It’s okay,” you sigh sadly. “I know that you’re all Melissa’s friends, and I don’t want to put any of you in an awkward position having to pick sides. She’s been here longer; it’s all hers.”

“Sweetheart,” Barbara breathes.

“It’s okay. I’ll be okay, Barb. Thank you for trying to help me,” you mumble before hanging up.

By the time you hang up with her, the students will begin trickling in, so Barbara doesn’t have time to go speak with Melissa about the situation at hand.

But at lunch, Barbara simply grabs her lunch and picks up the redhead’s that is already out on the table.

“Barb,” Melissa gasps.

“My room. Now,” is all the kindergarten teacher has to say to get her friend to follow her out of the staff room and down the hall, head hung like a child being escorted to the principal’s office.

When they get there, Barbara sets down their lunches at her desk and pulls a chair up for Melissa.

“Barb, c’mon,” your… ex-girlfriend groans. “What gives?”

“What the hell were you doing out with another woman?”

The second grade teacher immediately gets defensive. “Y/N and I-”

“Y/N went to the game last night… dressed in Eagles gear and ready to cheer for your team because she loves you,” the older teacher says sternly. “And you threw it in her face that you were done with her and already moved on.”

“She- what?”

“She spent close to a thousand dollars on sports gear last week to try to win you back. She wore Phillies gear, she wore Flyers apparel, she wore a Sixers sweatshirt, she even wore a jersey from the Union, and on Friday, she wore Kelly green to show you that she’s in Philly now.”

“Didn’t show up in a Hurts or Kelce jersey though,” Melissa rolls her eyes.

“Because she was saving that for last night when she was going to win you back with the ticket that she managed to get next to you!”

Melissa’s face drops. “She- fuck.”

“She’s not sick. She’s heartbroken right now.”

The redhead bites her lip. “I fucked up takin’ Lena, didn’t I?”

Barbara nods. “She was crying when I called, and she told me she was heartbroken to see you with some other girl’s tongue down your throat.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” the kindergarten teacher nods. “That word.”

Melissa breathes out heavily. “Do you…” she shakes her head. “She’s still a Cowboys fan.”

“Melissa Ann, you love her. She loves you. She’s perfect aside from that one fact, and when she tried explaining herself to you at school, you wouldn’t let her get a word out. Hear her out, and even then… if she does love the Cowboys, are you really going to let something as trivial as a sports team rivalry come between you and the one person that you love?”

“I…” the redhead bites her lip. “Do you think I have a chance at winning her back?”

At that, the kindergarten teacher shrugs. “You’ll never know if you don’t try… although, I would end things with this new woman you were making out with last night.”

The end of the day could not come sooner for the second grade teacher. She’s debated texting you or calling you, but she feels this is something that she has to do in person.

So as soon as she’s finished for the day, she runs out. She leaves her lunch bag in the staff room, doesn’t wait for her work wife; she just books it. She’s tearing out of the school parking lot in the direction of your apartment complex.

The entire drive over, she’s preparing what she’s going to say to you, but once she’s standing on the door mat that you have sitting outside your front door, it all leaves her brain. She knocks a few times before stepping back.

Who the hell is at your door? Could it be Barbara checking on you? Or maybe she said something to Janine or Jacob, and they’re here to make sure that you’re okay? With a groan, you sit up and stand from the couch. You’ve been sitting there for so long wallowing in your self pity that you leave an indent in the cushions. You check the peephole, and… why is Melissa standing at your door?

You open the door, not caring how you look right now.

The sight of you hurts her heart. Your hair is messily tied up, you haven’t changed out of your pajamas, your eyes are still rimmed red… you just look so heartbroken right now.

“What? Come to yell at me some more?” you try sound angry, but it just comes out pathetic.

“No,” she says softly. “Hun, I’m-”

“Here to break up with me?” you sigh. “You made it pretty clear we were done.”

“Can I come in?” she asks quietly. The woman sounds so unlike herself.

You shrug and leave the door open as you walk away. She follows you in. “I’m here to say I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever,” you sigh as you curl back into your mountain of blankets. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be civil the rest of the school year, I’ll leave you and your friends alone, and then I’ll find another school in the area to work at.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Well, it’s a little hard to work with your ex-girlfriend,” you sigh. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind seeing yourself out.”

“Y/N,” Melissa says so softly, and she has her eyes trained on you. They’re filled with sadness. “I don’t want to break up.”

“I thought we already did,” you spit out. “And if we didn’t, I know you had your tongue down another woman’s throat last night anyway, so if you don’t break up with me, I’ll do it for you. Then you can make me the bad guy when you-”

“Barb told me what you were trying to do,” the redhead admits softly.

“If you would’ve just listened to me, you would know that I didn’t necessarily have a choice in who I rooted for when it came to football. My father, who is my idol and best friend so don’t you dare say a single bad thing about him, loves the Cowboys. He insisted on buying me the Prescott jersey despite the fact that I didn’t want him spending that money on me to begin with.”

“I should’ve known with you growing up near Dallas,” she sighs.

“But I’m here now,” you continue. “And once I talked to him and he told me that if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. So I did. I bought all of this Philly stuff, bought a ticket to the game and showed up in a hat and Hurts jersey, only to see you with someone else. So… it’ doesn’t matter.”

“Hun, I never wanted her.”

“Well, you got her.”

“The whole time, I was wishing it was you.”

You rub your temples.

“Barb told me she helped you,” the second grade teacher admits. “If I had known… I would’ve been-”

“Any time they brought me up, you shut them down,” you fire out. “You wouldn’t let me speak to you at all.”

“You avoided me too!”

“I was trying to give you space, and when I did try to talk to you, you shut me down and told me you weren’t going to date a Cowgirl.”

“How can I fix this?” Melissa asks as she comes to sit down next to you. “I’ll do- I’ll do anything.”

“I thought you weren’t going to date a Cowgirl,” you taunt her. “And you have your new girl now.”

“She isn’t my girl,” the redhead tells you sternly. “You’re my girl. She’s some random girl I picked up at a bar while I was trying to distract myself from missing you. The whole time I was with her, I wished it was you- I didn’t even sleep with her. She was throwing herself at me, but I couldn’t.”

“So what are you saying?”

“And then today when you didn’t show up to school, Barbara told me what you did and how she helped you… she talked some sense into me; asked me if I was really going to let a stupid sports rivalry get in the way of loving the one person I truly adore. The answer is no. I was… an idiot. An absolute idiot.”

“Yeah,” you snort. “You were.”

“So… I’m here, begging you to take me back. Please, Y/N,” Melissa tears up. “Please. Please don’t walk away.”

“Melissa, you hurt me more than you know,” you whisper.

“And I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you,” she promises you. “Please.”

You take a deep breath for huffing it out. Secretly, you were hoping she would come back to you. And the opportunity is right here in front of you. “It’s… it’s going to take a bit for me to fully forgive you.”

“And I understand that entirely. I was a real jackass. I’ll make it up to you however I can.” She pulls you into her arms and kisses your temple gently. “However I can.”

That ‘however’ is by having her take you to another Eagles game- with the entire Abbott crew. You wear your Hurts jersey, hanging off of her the entire night, and you cheer for your new team.

The other ‘however’ is by getting her to take you to a Phillies RedOctober game at Lincoln Financial field. When they play their celebratory song after clinching a spot in the World Series as NLC champions, you know that you’re no longer dancing on your own (tiesto remix). You have Melissa by your side.

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ioweitalltoyou · 2 months

Text

Dancing On My Own (Tiesto Remix)

Summary: You're a Cowboys fan in Eagles territory. Melissa finds out.

WC: ~2.05k

You have a secret- a deep, dark secret that you never ever want your fiery, die hard Eagles fan girlfriend to find out. You’re terrified of what will happen if she does. You’re a Dallas Cowboys fan. Okay, so maybe you were a second-hand Cowboys fan, but your dad bought you one of the jerseys because he absolutely adores them. And when you go home to Texas (how you ended up in the one state, one city that hates Dallas more than anything, you’ll never know), your dad always drags you to a game.

Upon moving to Philly, you took down every indication that you would ever associate yourself with the team that the Eagles love to hate. You couldn’t risk becoming an outcast before you even start your new life here.

And it did you good. You somehow land in the heart of the city, and you work for a school that absolutely bleeds Philadelphia. The principal adores the Eagles, Mr. Johnson is constantly yelling ‘Go Birds!’, Janine has a few trinkets in her room for each of the Philly Sports teams… even Gregory has come around to love Gritty. And then there’s Melissa Schemmenti. She’s had to go to court for throwing a corn cob at Ben Simmons when he pissed her off, she has ins with those who worked the demolition at the Linc, she’s a season ticket holder for the Phillies and the Eagles… and she absolutely detests the Cowboys- more than most Eagles fans too. She’s gotten into more trouble for heckling the Dallas team than she’s willing to admit- knocking over portapotties when Cowboys fans are in them, throwing Philly cheesesteaks, hurling eggs and Molotov cocktails at the bus.

And yet, she’s your girlfriend. How? You’re nearly perfect. You’re smart, you’re funny, you can sing and play instruments to make her swoon, you’re a wonderful teacher and great with the kids, and you’re more than easy on the eyes. And that was what she knew of you before she fell madly in love with you.

With the season coming up, your girlfriend is more than excited. She’s been waiting for the season tickets to go on sale, but even then… if she doesn’t get them the legal way, she knows a guy.

She does end up getting them. Of course she does. And as soon as she does, she’s coming into the teachers lounge doing her happy dance and making her way over to you. She kisses you soundly before proclaiming that she is 100% taking you to an Eagles game.

“And,” she notes. “I’m gonna make sure it’s a good one… Eagles versus the fuckin’ Cowgirls! Go birds!”

She’s met with a chorus of ‘Go birds!’ right back, but you stay quiet.

She turns to you with a curious look, amused grin now gone. “Babe, aren’t you excited?!”

You shrug. “I just… haven’t ever really been into football?” you offer weakly.

“Well, I’m gonna make sure that you have a great time there. I’m gonna get you an Eagles jersey, a Jalen Hurts one, and you’re gonna have the damn time of your life!”

Again, you shrug your shoulders, looking unsure.

“Aye, if she ain’t gonna use the ticket for good, I’m right here!” Mr. Johnson points to himself. “You know we’ll have a good time.”

“Nah, Mr. J,” your girlfriend rolls her eyes. “I’m taking Y/N, and she’s gonna leave the Linc a die hard Eagles fan, right?” She looks at you in a way that tells you there’s no convincing her otherwise unless you want to out yourself right now as a fan of the Cowboys.

You just nod, knowing you can’t have this conversation in public- you do not want to be shunned by the rest of your coworkers. You could potentially lose this job; Ava has fired people for less despite the fact that she really couldn’t afford to fire them and that’s why both you and Melissa are teaching two different grades at a time.

That’s the end of that conversation.

Until she comes over to your apartment that night, ready to cook dinner for you and stay over.

“You gonna tell me why you got so weird about going to a football game with me? Is it because we might see our students at the game?” she asks. “Because if it is, I promise you… you know Philly is pretty cool about LGBT stuff.”

“I know, I know,” you say softly. “I’ve just… could we go to a baseball game instead?” You never pledged your allegiance to any baseball team, so you would be willing to wear a Harper or Nola jersey.

“I mean, I could get us tickets to a game,” she tells you as she puts the meat into the pan to start cooking. “But I really love football and the Eagles, and that’s something I want to share with you.”

“Does it have to be a game with the Cowboys?” you ask.

She turns to you at that. “Those are the best games.”

“I-” you sigh. Deciding to just rip off the bandaid, you take off the Abbott sweatshirt that you’re wearing to reveal the Day Prescott jersey your dad had given you the last time you visited your hometown.

Her jaw drops, and her eyes fill with a fire. “When the fuck were you gonna tell me that you were the enemy?” she seethes.

“Mel,” you say softly, trying to calm her down.

“Don’t ‘Mel’ me right now,” the redhead hisses. “What the fuck?! What the actual fuck?!”

“Melissa, honey,” you continue. “Please-”

“I- no,” she stops you from getting any closer to her when you attempt. “Don’t. Don’t you even fucking dare.”

She’s out of your house before you can say anything else, and the only thing that you can hear is the flank steak sizzling quietly in the pan on the stove.

When you get to school the next day, you head straight for her room to try to talk to her again.

“Melissa,” you knock on the door, a cup of her favorite coffee in your hands as a peace offering.

“No.”

You set the warm drink on her desk, which she promptly smacks into the garbage can under her desk. She stands hastily and storms out of the room in the direction of the staff room.

“Melissa, please!” you beg as you chase after her. “Please!”

“I have nothing to say to you,” she hisses as she rips her arm away from you when you catch her gently. She storms into the break room and heads right for the coffee mugs.

“Please!” your voice cracks, and everyone that is already gathered there turns at the commotion.

“Ooh,” Ava says. “Trouble in paradise. Spill.”

“This one-” your girlfriend, if she even still is after your reveal last night, points to you and looks at you with disgust. “-is a Cowgirls fan, and decided not to let me know until last night!”

“Boo!” Mr. Johnson heckles you. You give him a nearly murderous look.

“Just let me explain!” you plead.

“You have nothin’ to explain! You’re a traitor!” the redhead barks at you before turning back to the mugs. She slams the door as she closes it, slams her coffee mug down on the counter, and storms her way to her seat next to Barbara. She makes it so that there is absolutely no way you could sit next to her.

All eyes are on you, and you hate it. So you do what you know how to do: run.

You avoid the second grade teacher at all possible costs for the next few days, giving her the chance to cool down. Finally, at the end of the week, you attempt to talk to her.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she huffs. She doesn’t even bother looking up from her nails. She doesn’t even give you the chance to explain yourself. “I ain’t dating no Cowgirl.”

You cry the entire way home. You lost your girlfriend, and all because of some stupid football team.

You call your father that night, a sobbing mess.

“You were dating an Eagles fan?!”

“Dad,” you cry. “Please. I don’t- I just need you to tell me that it’s all going to be okay.”

“It is,” he promises you. “But, seriously?”

You hang up on him.

He calls back a few minutes later, apologizing for his words. You forgive him of course. You love your father more than anything.

“If you really love her, you’ll get her back… even if it means you betray our team,” he tells you.

“R-really?” you whisper.

“You’re in Philly now,” your dad sighs softly. “If you can’t beat ‘em, and the lord knows you can’t because no one can beat Philly fans, join ‘em.”

That’s all you need to hear to know what you’re going to do. “Thank you, Dad.”

“Of course, kiddo. Just know that when you come home to visit, you are back on my team.”

“I know,” you chuckle through your tears. “But if I bring Mel back home, there is to be absolutely no football talk.”

“Deal,” he laughs. “I’m not trying to get our house lit on fire.”

You thank him again, tell him you love him and hang up.

That weekend, you go out and buy a bunch of Philadelphia sports apparel; your credit card statement this month is going to be a doozy. But if it means you’ll get Melissa back, it’ll be worth it.

On Monday, you show up in your baseball gear, rooting for the Phillies as they play against the Cincinnati Twins. It gets the redhead’s attention, just slightly. But she turns her head when you look in her direction.

You wear your Flyers gear the next day. That gets Gregory’s attention.

The Sixers are the next. Janine grins.

You had even bought a Philadelphia Union jersey that you wear on Thursday. Jacob tells you how massively underrated they are and that he thinks they deserve to have a bigger following.

When you come in on Friday, not clad in Eagles gear like Melissa thought you would be, that is the final straw for her. She has you backed into a corner telling you that you can pretend to bleed Philly all you want, but at the end of the day you’re just a traitor.

You let her get up in your face, red with anger. You know that you didn’t wear it because you’re saving it for Monday- when they play.

You actually managed to get a ticket to the game, one next to hers- not that she knows it. You thank Barbara profusely when she’s able to get you the name of Melissa’s guy and where her tickets for this game are. Your plan is to show up in your new Jalen Hurts jersey that you spent a fortune on and win her back. You don’t want to lose her. Never.

You race home after school to change out of your green shirt that you wore to school and into your Hurts jersey and a pair of leggings. You grab the baseball cap that you bought and pop it on your head before heading out to your car.

You park your car for the ridiculous amount of money they’re charging before going to find your seat.

As you approach though, you see someone new with Melissa- someone you’ve never seen before. She has an arm around the woman’s waist like the way she used to hold you. You convince yourself it’s just a friend and continue on your way to your seat. But then she plants a kiss to the new woman’s lips, and your world shatters.

You might be at a football game, but you should be at a Phillies game with their unofficial anthem playing.

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh no

And I'm right over here, why can't you see me? Oh no

And I'm giving it my all

But I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh

I keep dancing on my own

So far away, but still so near

The lights come on, the music dies

But you don't see me standing here

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ioweitalltoyou · 2 months

Text

Love Thy Neighbor- pt 4

Summary: the aftermath, and your first day of work. good lord.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

WC: ~4.15k

You kiss her back- of course you do. You would be an idiot to pretend that you weren’t attracted to your neighbor turned coworker.

But as soon as you pull away, there’s a look of panic written on your face. “Uh-”

“I- I’m sorry,” the redhead apologizes quickly. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“No. No,” you state. “Don’t apologize. I just, uh…” you turn bright red, nearly as red as the woman’s hair next to you.

She stands awkwardly.

“No,” you sigh. “I- I liked that.”

She sits back down and looks you in the eye. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” you admit quietly. “I did… I just-“ you purse your lips, trying to figure out how to say this without ruining everything that you have going on right now.

“Just say what you’re thinkin’, hun,” Melissa encourages gently.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” you say softly as you evade her eye contact.

“You won’t,” she promises, laying a warm hand over yours.

You suck in a breath before spilling out, “I’ve always thought you were beautiful, but I- I just divorced my husband, I have Ellie to worry about and look after, we’re coworkers now! I- this is all so complicated. I just don’t think now is a great time, and maybe not… maybe not ever.”

Those green eyes look at you with such an understanding that it hurts you- it pains you so much to not be able to give into what you so desperately want to do. You want to be selfish and pull the redhead into your bedroom, tell her that even though you’ve only known her for a short time, she makes you feel more than Jared ever had. But you can’t- because you know there are too many risks involved with this woman, and you do not want to lose a good friend, coworker, and someone that your daughter trusts and loves.

“I understand, hun,” Melissa tells you softly. “I do. It’s okay.”

“Melissa,” you sigh quietly. You stare at your hands, one of hers on top. “I am so-”

“Don’t apologize,” she instructs gently, yet also somehow sternly. “I will not hear it.”

You nod hesitantly before looking into her striking emerald eyes with tear filled eyes of your own.

“Hey,” she says gently. “Don’t cry. There’s no need to cry. We’re okay. I promise.” She tugs you in, allowing you fall into her arms. You cling to her, the perfume that she’s wearing surrounding you.

After a few seconds, you pull back. “Thank you.”

“For what?” she asks. “I didn’t do nothin’.”

“For-” you bite your bottom lip nervously. “For helping out when I need it, and for being there for Ellie, and for helping me get a job, and for… being so understanding about all of this.”

“Of course,” she smiles softly, patting your arm. “I’ll always be here to help in any way I can.” She stands. “I guess I should head back over to my place- school tomorrow.”

“I guess,” you shrug. “Or… you could stay for a little longer? Have another glass and keep watching the movie with me?”

It’s clear that you don’t want to be alone right now.

“You okay?” she asks as she sits back down and wraps an arm around you. She chuckles. “I promise I’m not trying to make any more moves on you- just trying to provide comfort. Barb is a lot better at it than I am.”

“You’re not doing too bad,” you give a choked out laugh, tears still in your eyes. “Y-yeah, I’ll be okay. Just a bit overwhelmed with this new life… missing my old one. The divorce is still pretty raw too.”

“I know that feeling,” she sighs. “My ex-husband and I divorced years ago, and sometimes it still haunts me. So, know that you aren’t alone in those feelings.”

You nod and relax into the couch cushion.

The two of you sit quietly, thoughtfully and neither of you watching the screen in front of you, before she really does have to go get to bed if she’s going to be a functional teacher tomorrow.

You see her out, thanking her again, before sighing. You close the door gently before leaning up against it. Deciding that you still don’t want to be alone, you go to Ellie’s room. She’s fast asleep surrounded by her stuffed animals, but she’s clutching something in her arms.

You gently arrange her so that you can see what she’s- she’s holding onto a picture of you, her, and your ex-husband. Jared has an arm wrapped around you, his smile is bright. You have Ellie on your hip, and she’s giggling at something that he had said to make her laugh for the picture. You have a clear look of love in your eyes as you look down on your sweet little girl.

Those times were… so good. Simple. Full of what you thought was love. If only you had known he was sleeping around with Sharon, and Sarah, and Heather, and Autumn, and… whoever the hell else he was before finally deciding to dedicate most of his time to Jen and not you.

You wipe the tears that have rolled down your cheek with the back of your hand before you simply curl up next to your daughter and hold her as you try to ground yourself. You fall asleep. holding her protectively- as if you could shield her from all of the terrible things that happen in the world. She snuggles into your body, smiling in her sleep and letting out a soft hum.

The next morning, Ellie is jumping on your chest to wake you up at the ass crack of dawn.

“Momma, momma, momma!” she shakes you.

You groan, keeping your eyes closed. “Momma’s sleeping, baby.”

“No you’re not! I’m hungry, and I wanna go to school!”

You open one eye, just barely, to see that beautiful girl of yours. You turn your head to look at the unicorn alarm clock on her pink bedside table. Next to it is the picture of your torn apart family, and your heart hurts for just a second before you see the time: 5:30.

“Elizabeth, it’s too early to be awake,” you groan as you pull her from off of you and gently set her next to you. You pull her in close to your chest. “Go back to sleep, baby girl.”

“But I’m wide awake!” she tells you.

“And I am not,” you chuckle. “Lay with me until the clock says six, and then we can talk about breakfast and getting up.”

Your daughter sighs, but she does relax against you. You hold her tight, reveling in the fact that while everything has been turned upside down in your world, Ellie is your one constant. You have your little girl- she’s all yours, and you’re going to do everything you can for her.

The next time you wake up, you’re slamming your fist on the alarm clock, turning it off. Ellie is fast asleep on your chest, the smallest droplet of drool falling from her mouth.

“Ellie Belly,” you jostle her gently. “It’s time to wake up for school, my love.”

Her little head pops up, and you chuckle at her wild bedhead. “Mrs. Howard?”

“Yes, my love,” you smile. “It’s time to start getting ready to go see Mrs. Howard.”

She uses you as a launch pad to jump up, and you let out a small groan. She’s opening her closet to pick out her outfit before you can even sit up.

You get her ready before starting on breakfast and getting yourself at least somewhat presentable for the day. You know you’re going to head into the school to set up your new room before you start to DoorDash. You should look at least somewhat professional entering the school.

As you shuffle your daughter out the door, you’re met with the redhead.

“Hey,” she smiles at the two of you, sunglasses already over her eyes.

“Miss Mel!” Ellie absolutely lights up. “Are you gonna take me to school again today?”

“Not today, little love,” you tut softly. “Momma’s gonna bring you. We’re gonna take the bike.”

The redhead frowns. “When are you getting your car out here?”

“Not for another few weeks,” you sigh.

“I can give the two of you a lift if you want,” Melissa tells you. “I really don’t mind.”

“Oh, I have to get back home somehow,” you chuckle nervously.

“You can bring my car back, so long as you promise to pick us back up at the end of the day,” the woman counters.

You bite your lip, hesitant to accept her offer to help. But Ellie is looking up at you with pleading eyes. So you nod before opening your front door back up and grabbing the booster seat for her.

You get Ellie settled in the car before climbing into the passenger seat. “Thank you.”

She just smiles at you as she pulls out of the parking garage and onto the busy streets of center city Philadelphia.

She hums softly to the music that is coming from the speakers before turning and asking you, “Any big plans for the day?”

You shrug. “I’ll probably be biking back and forth today with the supplies from the storage locker for my new room.”

“Use my car for the day,” she tells you without any sort of hesitation. “Less trips, more time to set up.”

“I- I couldn’t ask that of you.”

“You didn’t,” she chuckles. “I’m offering to help.”

“I’m paying you for gas,” you tell her, hitting her with a look that leaves no room for argument.

“No you ain’t,” your coworker laughs. “Just make dinner again sometime soon, and we’ll call it even.”

“I like it more when you cook, Miss Mel,” Ellie makes her thoughts very clear.

You roll your eyes at that comment and look back at her. She’s giving you the most innocent little smile, and your heart melts. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Melissa pulls into a spot in the parking lot before grabbing her bags. “C’mon. I’ll show you where your room is.”

It happens to be the room right next to hers. You glance around, and you can make this work. It just needs some brightening up.

“Ellie,” the redhead says softly, gathering the attention of your daughter. “Your momma has to get going, and Miss Mel is gonna head into the teacher’s lounge for some coffee and morning news. You coming?”

Your daughter nods excitedly. “Can I bring my book?”

“Of course,” the second grade teacher smiles softly. “Say goodbye to your momma though first.”

Ellie bounces over to you and flings herself into you. You chuckle, crouching down to her level before hugging her tightly. You release her, and Melissa plants her car keys in your hands.

“Seriously,” you say softly. “Thank you. I’ll be making my poppyseed chicken tonight if you want to join us.”

She nods. “I’ll bring the wine.”

You spend most of your day heading back and forth between the storage locker that has your teaching supplies and the school. You have a thin sheen of sweat dousing your brow by the time the school bell rings to signify that the day is over, but your classroom looks great. It’s bright and full of positivity, and you couldn’t be more satisfied with the progress that you had made.

You gather your purse and a few things that you won’t be needing before heading outside to gather your girl in your arms.

“Momma!” Ellie catches sight of you before you can make your way out the door. She’s holding onto Melissa’s hand tightly with a grin on her face.

You open your arms up wide for her, and she drops your neighbors hand to come running into your arms. “Hi, my love. Did you have a good day at school?”

She nods enthusiastically before looking back at Melissa. “Mrs. Howard let me sneak into the secret room to give her a hug again. I love Miss Mel.”

“I know you do,” you chuckle.

“Can I be her helper while we wait for her to go home?” your daughter requests softly. “She needs help making sure everyone gets to their people.”

“If that’s okay with Miss Mel,” you chuckle.

Ellie walks on her toes back over to the redhead and tugs gently on her sleeve. She asks before raising her arms up for Melissa to pick her up. Of course, your neighbor obliges with a smile. Ellie wraps her arms around her neck and lays her head on the leather jacket gently.

You can’t help but smile as you watch the two of them together. Ellie is so comfortable with Melissa, and it makes your heart so happy to see that she’s content with someone besides you- she had always been a bit more hesitant around new adults. But Melissa had swooped right in and made her way into Ellie’s heart. You know that Melissa has a special place in your daughter’s heart too.

Dismissal is over, and you follow Melissa back into the school for her to gather her things, Ellie still on the redhead’s hip slumped over and clearly asleep.

You offer to take Ellie off her hands for her.

“I got her,” Melissa smiles, holding Ellie with such tender love and care.

You chuckle. “Are you sure? I know she gets heavy after a while, and you’ve been holding her for the past twenty minutes.”

“I got her,” the redhead is adamant as she grabs her purse and slings it over her other shoulder. “How’s your room coming along? Mind if I sneak in and take a look?”

You nod, although you’re nervous. You hope she finds it to be suitable. She walks in and her eyes go wide.

“Wow, Y/N,” she says softly. “This looks incredible. The kids are going to love it.”

You blush and mumble a thanks before following her out the door to head to her car. Melissa puts Ellie in the car and buckles her in with a soft chuckle. She moves the stray hairs out of her face before closing the door gently. You hand her the keys that she puts her hand out for before climbing into the car.

The ride home is peaceful. She tells you what some of your future students are up to, and she explains that they are more than excited to meet you. That makes you smile- although you hope you can live up to the hype.

When you get home, Ellie is awake and feeling refreshed from her nap. She’s immediately asking if she can help you make dinner for her favorite person. You allow her to mix the sauce together, and you can’t help the chuckle you let out when she steals a taste.

“My silly girl,” you say softly. She’s growing up before your eyes.

“Can I go get Miss Mel?!” she asks.

You roll your eyes playfully. “I think someone has a new favorite person… and it isn’t Momma! How rude!”

“No! No!” Ellie is quick to hug you tightly. “You’re my favoritest person in the whole wide world! Miss Mel is just my second favoritest person.”

You squeeze her right back. “That’s so kind of you to say. Go ahead… get Mel.”

She runs off, and you take a deep breath to collect yourself. Hearing that you were her favorite person in the world- it melts your heart. But you also remember a time where a five year old Ellie would proudly announce that Momma and Daddy were her two favorite people in the world. Now it’s just you.

A stray tear falls down your face, and you’re quick to wipe it away when you hear the front door open again.

“-And I helped Momma make it!” Ellie finishes her sentence as she drags Melissa into your kitchen.

You quickly wipe away the second tear that makes its way down your cheek before turning around with a broad smile on your face. Melissa sees right through your act though, and she gives you a questioning look. You silently shake your head, indicating that you’re fine. She doesn’t believe you and mouths that you’ll talk about it later.

Ellie launches herself up at you, and you’re quick to hold her close to you, peppering her cheeks with the kisses that she deserves. “Little miss was the best co-chef,” you let out a thick chuckle.

Dinner goes on as it usually does, and then the three of you settle on the couch. Ellie watches the usual cartoon that she loves in Melissa’s lap before she’s dozing off. You suppose that her nap only kept her refreshed for a bit.

The redhead looks down and laughs softly, rubbing Ellie’s back soothingly. “She was exhausted after recess today… told me all about the crazy game of tag she was playing with her classmates.”

“Sounds like my little girl,” you say as you settle your gaze on your sweet girl. “At least she’ll sleep through the night.”

“She doesn’t let you sleep?” the woman laughs as she looks down again.

“She uses the bathroom at least three times a night most nights… and every time, she bellows for me- poor thing is scared of the dark,” you sigh. “Even with all of the nightlights we have around. And then she’s up at the ass crack of dawn.”

“Sounds like a six year old,” Melissa laughs. “Well, I guess I should get going. School tomorrow and everything.”

You nod and take Ellie off of her. Your little girl scrunches her nose in her sleep, and you pray she doesn’t wake up. If she does, it’ll be at least another twenty minutes before your neighbor can leave for the night. Thankfully, she settles into your hold, clinging to your shirt.

“Goodnight, Mel,” you say softly. “Thank you again for helping us out today.”

“Have her ready to go at the same time tomorrow,” Melissa instructs. “I’ll take her in while you do whatever you have to get done tomorrow.” You go to protest. “And I will not be taking no for an answer.”

You close your eyes and huff. “Okay.”

The next few days continue on the same way, with Melissa taking you and Ellie to and from the school. It’s very kind of her to do. The three of you have meals together, and you and Melissa have started cooking together.

On Friday, you finish your DoorDashing shift a bit early, bike your way back to the apartment complex, and pick up Melissa’s car. You grab the things that you want to place on the desks before heading out. You pull in and get buzzed into the school.

The secretary smiles as she sees you, handing you the badge that they’ve been promising you the entire week, and you head down to your classroom.

You set the little trinkets on the desks for your students and then head over to Melissa’s room.

The weekend is nice. The three of you actually spend most of your time together. You and Melissa take Ellie to the park, you get coffee at the redhead’s favorite little shop, and then you make dinner together. Melissa helps put your daughter to bed, and it’s all good and fine.

Come Monday, you’re a nervous wreck. Ellie is exhausted from the extravagant weekend, and she is not a happy camper. Even Melissa coming over to make breakfast can’t quite wake her up.

“Momma cannot deal with this Elizabeth,” you grit out as she squirms.

At her full first name, your daughter pauses. Her little mouth forms into an ‘O’, and she stops her protests until it’s time to shuffle her out the door.

“I don’t wanna take the bike!” she groans and stomps her feet. “I wanna drive with Miss Mel!”

“And Momma wants to bike.”

“I don’t care!”

“Elizabeth Ruth,” you say sternly. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, attempting to ground yourself.

Melissa lays a gentle hand on your shoulder, and it’s so comforting.

“Miss Mel will take us today, but we cannot keep bumming rides off of her,” you tell your daughter. You get her into the car, and only when you’re pulling out of the garage does the redhead offer you a gentle smile.

“Hey. It’s all gonna be okay,” she tells you softly. “And you ain’t bumming rides off me. I like giving you guys rides.”

You shake your head and your hands out in attempts to soothe yourself.

“I know you’re nervous, but today is going to be just fine, you’ll be with me, and-”

“Why do you get to spend all day with Miss Mel?!” Ellie screeches from the back seat. The idea of you spending time with the redhead without her throws her into an absolute fit. She’s kicking your seat and crying, and you finally snap.

“Elizabeth Ruth!” you whip around. “Enough! I will only be with Melissa because I will be doing my job, and you’ll still get to see us both when Mrs. Howard walks you down to the staff room, and you will see her during dismissal!”

Your sharp voice makes your daughter freeze. Her tears subside, and she’s reduced to sniffles.

You soften. “I’m sorry, love. Momma’s just a bit stressed this morning.”

“It’s okay, Momma,” Ellie whimpers. “”s ‘kay.”

You feel bad for snapping on her, and when the three of you get out of the car, Ellie insists on staying by Melissa’s side.

“For today, you’re just sticking by my side and observing, but feel free to run out whenever you have to,” the redhead tells you once she’s gotten her stuff settled, and Ellie is sitting in one of the bean bag chairs in the back of the room. “If you need to make copies, continue setting up your room, use the bathroom… anything like that.”

“You nod.”

“I’m heading down to the staff lounge for some coffee and to watch the news if you want to join,” the redhead tells you. Ellie is immediately at her side and asking to be picked up, to which Melissa does immediately.

You follow them down to the lounge silently, nerves coming back full force.

The second grade teacher introduces you to her friends and tells them that you’re Ellie’s mother, but also their newest staff member.

Janine is quick to introduce herself and tell you that she’s willing to help you in any way you might need, that you’re so lucky to have Melissa as your mentor, and that your daughter is just the cutest thing.

Everyone else is just as kind, although not quite as interested in you. Barbara just smiles gently at you and nods- she already knows of you and the interest her work wife has taken on you.

The lounge time is nice, a time for you to recollect yourself, but it’s over far too soon. You walk Ellie down to her kindergarten classroom and give her a warm hug and kiss.

“I love you, little girl,” you whisper to her, kissing her hairline.

“I love you too, Momma,” she says just as softly. She lets you go and hugs Melissa just as tightly before telling the woman that she loves her too.

Although Ellie had said it before, this one feels much more heartfelt from your little girl, and the redhead can’t help the tears that well in her eyes. “I love you too, El.”

The two of you leave your daughter with Barbara and head back to her room.

“You okay?” the redhead asks you gently.

You nod as confidently as you can, but she can read your body language. “Nervous.”

She reaches for your hand gently and squeezes it. It’s so warm, and full of comfort, and just everything you need right now. Her eyes are soft and you can see the amount of love and care that she has for you in her eyes. You swoon- almost.

You squeeze hers back, as if to silently say thank you. And then neither of you let go. You just continue on down to her room, your hand in her own.

When you get there and pull apart, your cheeks turn red. You shouldn’t have held her hand the whole way down. But before you can apologize or say anything to her, one of the kids is running in, so excited to tell Melissa all about her day after school yesterday.

You retreat back to her back table where your things are and sigh. You watch her handle this child with so much care, but it’s just not the same as when it’s Ellie. It melts your heart that you now know that your girl has a special place in her heart. But at the same time, it makes it so much more complicated- your feelings for her.

This is going to be interesting.

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ioweitalltoyou · 2 months

Text

𝘐 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘛𝘰 𝘚𝘢𝘺 (𝘖𝘳 𝘋𝘰.)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You’d never understood why Bucky never seemed interested in physical intimacy. When you find out, you realize it goes deeper than you ever thought.

Note: For my ‘Don’t Touch Me’ square on my @marvel-smash-bingo card!

Warnings: rape/non-con, sexual abuse, nightmares, ptsd, Hydra Themes, implied Hydra Trash Party, insecure!reader(?), crying, angst.

Your sex life was not bad in these last few months you’ve been dating Bucky. That wasn’t to say it was particularly good, either.

You hadn’t had sex with him at all. You hadn’t even got past a little bit of making out. And there was nothing wrong with that, either. Maybe he was just shy. And he was a real quiet guy when he was around anybody but you, so you knew that that was a possibility.

He was also born in 1917, so there could be just more of an awkwardness around the topic for him. You obviously had no idea what Sex Ed was like in the 1930s, but you knew that it definitely wasn’t great.

Maybe he just wasn’t interested in sex at all. And that was perfectly fine, too. He could be asexual. Or gray-asexual. Or demisexual. And you were by no means a homophobe. If he wasn’t into it, he wasn’t into it and that was that. You would certainly not be upset or—God forbid—angry over something like that.

But the thing that plagued your mind after he ran off somewhere after kissing you for a little too long was the why. He’d never said a word about sexual attraction—you’d never had that conversation before. You didn’t really know how to bring it up.

Part of you wondered if you were the problem. Was he just not attracted to you? Was there just one tiny detail on you that completely made him not want you in that way? Fuck, did you smell bad?

You pushed the thought away. But you did know that you needed to have this discussion with him. Mainly in case that last reason was it.

As if right on cue, he walked into the kitchen of your apartment.

“Hey, doll.” He smiled, wrapping his arms around you and swaying you from side to side.

“Howdy howdy. I didn’t hear you come in.” You grinned. “You’ll give me a heart attack one day.”

“Sorry,” he replied sheepishly.

The rest of the night went on as usual. At least, until halfway through the night—perhaps early morning—when you were awoken by the sound of muttering.

Now, to be very honest, you thought about muttering ‘shut up’ back, before you remembered that you were a real person and not a dinosaur like you’d been dreaming about.

You sat up, looking over at your boyfriend. Another bad dream.

You kneeled above him, opening your mouth to say something to wake him up. And once again, as if on cue, he woke up. He sat up quickly, bonking you in the head with his own skull.

“Fuck—“ You hissed as your eyes watered slightly. “Bucky, you’re okay, you’re okay, it was a dream, it’s over.” You attempted to reassure him as you reached out.

“Don’t touch me,” he pleaded. “Don’t touch me. Please.” The way he said it made your stomach flip.

“I’m not.” You promised. “I won’t. I won’t. You’re okay, you’re safe. It’s me. Jus’ me and you.”

He seemed to relax at that as he laid back down. And then—very surprisingly—fell right back asleep.

Normally his nightmares were more of a major thing, so this was certainly a surprise. You frowned, before you yourself eventually fell back asleep.

The next morning, you woke up alone, with the faint smell of breakfast coming in through the room. You walked out of your bedroom and to the kitchen, greeting your boyfriend.

“Mornin’,” you hummed.

“Good morning, doll. Did you sleep good?” He asked innocently, as if he didn’t remember the night’s…revelations.

“Yeah.” You murmured back. And then you decided to finally grow some balls and ask.

“Bucky? Can I talk to you about something serious?”

“Sure.” His brows furrowed slightly. “Always, hon. What’s goin’ on?”

“Is there a reason you don’t want to have sex with me?”

He practically turned to stone.

“What?” He croaked out.

“There’s nothing wrong about it! I’m just—it’s stupid. I’m sorry, I’m being an asshole. Never mind—“ You wanted to simultaneously beat the absolute shit out of yourself and bury yourself.

“No, you’re not.” He cut you off. “I—should’ve told you earlier. About this. It’s—it’s not you, I promise. I..I want to have..sex with you and all of that stuff. I do, really. It’s just—there’s..some stuff.”

Your brows furrowed as you took on a concerned and empathetic expression. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s—it’s okay. I do. It’s important to me that I tell you.” He explained. “But—it gets kinda heavy. Are you okay with..hearing all of that?”

You nodded. “Yes, babe. I am.”

“When I was—when I was the Winter Soldier, HYDRA would torture me. You know that. They’d…’punish’ and ‘train’ me in ways that..fucked me up. Clearly. One of those ways was through sex.” He admitted, fiddling with his hands.

Your mouth went dry. You didn’t really know what to say. Or to do, even. Did you comfort him? Say anything at all?

“I know you would never do that to me. I promise—I’m positive and comfortable in the fact that you wouldn’t ever do anything to me without my permission.” He assured you, making eye contact. “You’ve made it perfectly clear that I can say ‘no’ and can make my own decisions without any form of punishment.”

You nodded slowly.

“But it’s just—it’s hard, y’know? Like, how I get all..jumpy and ‘PTSD-y’ on the Fourth of July because of the fireworks. It’s like that, but with..sex, and being naked and stuff like that. It doesn’t have anything to do with the Fourth of July, just like it doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s just..a thing that happens in those circumstances.” He explained. “I don’t—I’m sorry. I don’t want to be like this, I promise.”

You could see his nose was getting red and his eyes were beginning to water.

“I don’t want to be broken.” He blinked away some tears, wiping the ones that escaped his eyes with the side of his hand.

“Baby, no. Oh, baby. No, you’re not broken. Honey, you’re not. I promise.” You comforted. You opened your arms for a hug and he wrapped his arms around you.

When he was ready, he continued. “It was mostly men. There weren’t any women in HYDRA up until like..2010. But sometimes they’d sell me—and I mean literally sell me—off to certain powerful women for a variety of purposes. And I didn’t have a choice.” He murmured.

“I know, baby. It wasn’t your fault. None of that was ever your fault.” You said softly.

He nodded slowly. “I do..want that. I want to do that with you, it’s just—it’s hard.”

“I know. Thank you for telling me. And we can take it slow. And if you realize you’re not into it at all—no shame. No judgement. Not from me.” You promised.

He nodded. “Dr. Raynor—when she was my therapist she..she uh, pushed on the subject.” He confessed. Your brows furrowed.

“She what?”

“I was mad about it then. And I still think she could’ve gone about it in better ways, but she gave me something useful, so..at least there’s that.” He hummed. “She suggested showering and taking baths together. For..non-sexual intimacy.”

“You wanna try that?” You met his eyes, the beautiful blue eyes that captivated you.

He nodded slowly. “If you're comfortable with it, yeah.”

“Okay. We can try that, babe.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you.” He murmured. You’d heard him say it before, you’d worked your way up to it, but neither one of you really wanted to hold back that feeling from each other.

“I love you too. No matter what.” You swore.

A/n: two Oneshots on the same day? Shocking, I know. Really wanted to bring hydra trash party and reader insert fics together. This was low key inspired by me and an ex (we’re on good terms dw), and it feels very important to me.

Please reblog if you enjoyed!

Sequel here!

dividers by @saradika-graphics

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ioweitalltoyou · 2 months

Text

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐’𝘥 𝘋𝘰 (𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘠𝘰𝘶)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky explore ways to practice non-sexual intimacy.

Warnings: Non-sexual nudity, implied past SA, bad therapist Dr. Raynor, showering together, implied panic attack, let me know if anything else needs to be tagged.

Sequel to this

“You struggle with intimacy.” Dr. Raynor’s unmistakable voice rang through his head.

He glared at her, his brows furrowed. “What?” His voice was slightly hoarse, so the word came out all croaky.

“You struggle with intimacy.” She repeated. “It’s common in victims of sexual abuse and assault. And you’ve got over fifty years of that.”

Bucky grimaced at her blunt choice of words. “So..what?”

“So, we’ve got a lot to work on. You’ve got any relationships? Friends, partners?” Dr. Raynor asked. “What about the girl you’ve mentioned?”

“I have friends.” He grumbled.

“Good. What about your relationship with your girlfriend? Are you two intimate?”

He clenched his fists. “That doesn’t sound like a professional question. Do you ask all your clients about their sex lives?”

“Just answer the question, Mr. Barnes. Are you intimate with your girlfriend?”

“No.” The word rotted in his mouth. He felt an overwhelming sense of shame as he was positive that Raynor was disappointed for some reason.

She scribbled something down in her notebook and Bucky felt like he was going to throw up.

“Try and build up trust and intimacy through non-sexual means.” She suggested.

When he raised a brow, she continued. “Cuddling together. Sleeping next to each other. Take baths or showers together. Be naked around each other. Work up to that one slowly.”

He didn’t think it would help his weird sex problems.

“Ask for what you need. The world won’t end.”

Bucky just shook his head bitterly, looking away as he clenched his metal fist tighter.

“…Hey.” You whispered as you looked at him. He felt a smile creep onto his face.

“Hey.” He echoed.

“You’re watching me while I sleep, now?” You chuckled.

“Maybe.” He gently played with a strand of your hair.

“You alright?” Your voice was warm, sleepy. He felt a warmth bloom within his chest.

“Mhm.” He answered after a moment. “Y/n?” He asked gently after your eyes fluttered back shut.

“Hm?” You didn’t open your eyes.

“Can..can we cuddle?” He asked. To his surprise, the world didn’t end.

“What?” You blinked your eyes open. He felt a pit of shame form in his stomach.

“Never mind. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He shook his head.

“No, no. What did you say?” You smiled encouragingly.

“…I asked if we could cuddle.” He muttered. He asked for what he needed. And the world didn’t end.

“Sure, hon. You want me to hold you? Or..” You offered.

He nodded. “I want you to hold me. Please.”

You lifted your arm, and he awkwardly shuffled over towards you, not quite sure what to do. “What..where do I—“

You chuckled a little, shifting slightly to lay on your back. “Just lay your head on my chest, if you’re comfortable.”

He nodded, doing so. He could hear your heartbeat. His right hand drifted to your stomach to gently play with the fabric of your shirt.

“This all right?” You asked gently as you rubbed circles into his back.

He nodded. “Yeah. Thank you.” He said earnestly.

“Anytime. Always.”

“Hey, honey?” He asked suddenly as he dried the last plate.

“Hm?” You turned off the sink and turned to look at him.

C’mon. Don’t back at now, he told himself. “Do you..do you want to take a shower together?”

He watched as your eyebrows raised. But the world didn’t end.

“Yeah. We can do that. You sure you want to? There’s never any rush.” You assured him. He knew you meant well, but he felt like you were treating him like he was glass.

“I’m sure, honey.” He exhaled. “I’m..not glass. You don’t need to walk on eggshells around me.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was.”

“It’s okay. I’m—I’m not mad. I just wanted you to know that you don’t need to treat me differently.”

“Alright. No differences. Scout’s Honor.” You did the Girl Scout sign with your hand.

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Let’s go shower.” You suggested, and he nodded as he followed you to the bathroom.

He watched as you turned on the shower, waiting for it to warm up as he grabbed two towels.

He watched as you pulled off your shirt. You were absolutely gorgeous, and he couldn’t help but stare.

You chuckled a little as you caught him, and he smirked slightly. He pulled off his own shirt, and that’s when things felt a little off. Not inherently bad, but…wrong.

He tried to push away the feeling as you stripped down to your underwear.

He fiddled with the button and zipper of his jeans. He barely noticed as his breathing began to become more intense.

“Buck?” Your voice snapped him from his thoughts.

“What?” His voice sounded strange to his own ears.

“You’re breathing all weird. You okay?”

“I..I can’t.” He shook his head, before rubbing at his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay. No worries. Today’s not the day; no rush.”

He frowned deeply. “I’m sorry.” And he felt sorry. He felt like shit.

You reached for his hand. He let you take it.

“Don’t be sorry.” You rubbed his knuckles with your thumb.

He gave you a small, weak smile. “Okay.” He failed. It didn’t work out. He had to be at least somewhat broken.

But the world didn’t end then, either.

“I want to try again.” He told you a few weeks later.

“Try..what?” You raised a brow.

“Showering together.” He stated.

“Okay. Now?”

He nodded. “Now.”

“Okay. Let’s do it.” You agreed, and you both walked to the bathroom together.

This time, he pulled off his shirt and sweatpants with ease, standing there in his black boxers.

You pulled off all your clothes, checking the water to make sure it was warm.

Slowly, but surely, he slid his boxers down his legs and stepped out of them. He stood before you, completely naked, but he knew that you didn’t have a single thought of judgment in your mind.

“You wanna get in first?” You offered. He shook his head. Logically, he knew it didn’t really matter who got in first. But he figured that maybe a sense of being sure he was able to leave would help him if he needed it.

He watched as you stepped into the shower.

And then he did. And the world hadn’t ended.

He smiled at you as he stood so close to you. Close, but not touching. And it was perfect.

“We did it.” He grinned.

“We did.” You grinned up at him lovingly.

He’d done it. Even if it was only a step in a long process, he’d done it.

And the world didn’t end.

A/n: wanted to post this.

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