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Nightcrawler: Go to hell.

Mystique: Nope, I can’t go there. Your father still has a restraining order against me.

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I’m not a nepotism hire if my dad doesn’t like me.

Pietro Maximoff

#quicksilver #pietro maximoff #peter maximoff #x-men #submission #a #original: unknown

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Logan: Oh, my God. Did you put glitter in the laundry detergent?

Dazzler: Oh, yeah. I'm experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. That one's called "Sparkle Suds." Dress loud.

Logan: Will you stop putting glitter in everything? This morning you put glitter in the butter.

Dazzler: "Disco Dairy." Spread the party.

Logan: No, that's not a good idea. That's terrible.

Dazzler: Well, the target demographic isn't angry, ancient Canadians.

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Arson? More like Crime Brûlée!

Pyro

#pyro #john allerdyce #x-men #submission #m4d-4s-th3-h4tt3r #original: internet

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Bobby Drake: Wasn't Mystique being fatphobic when she called Fred Dukes fatso??

Kitty Pryde: You’re right. Let me add fatphobe to the list of "Why Mystique is Problematic", right underneath her multiple war crimes.

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Emma Frost: I'd lie for you. Scott Summers: Yeah, but you lie all the time. You lie for no reason. Emma, you just like to lie.

#emma frost #scott summers #x-men #original: the office

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Scott Summers: There are six genders on this team: Sexy, Hot, Trash, Capitalism, Polyamory, and Kurt.

Ororo Munroe: Tag yourself, I'm sexy.

Peter Maximoff: Trash

Jean Grey: Polyamory

Kurt Wagner:

Kurt Wagner: Is--Is this a trick question, or--

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Deadpool: So, uh, you're gay, huh? For pay or for free? Bobby Drake: Uh, for free, I guess. Deadpool: Chump.

#deadpool #wade wilson #iceman #bobby drake #x-men #original: it's always sunny in philadelphia

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“Magic is real, and so are my sons!”

— Wanda Maximoff

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at this point i'm holding myself together with glitter glue

Alison Blaire

#alison blaire #dazzler #x-men #original: tumblr

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Deadpool: Kinda gay to make a wanted poster... why do you want that man? So you can hold him?

Cable: Yeah. Hold him accountable.

Deadpool: Hold him accountable for stealing your heart?

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boop

#y'all this is a sideblog so i cannot boop with this blog #but thank you for the boops and know i am booping back in the crowd somewhere #happy april fools #not a quote

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“If a member of the faculty is your dad, they have to tell you, right?”

— Peter Maximoff

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Logan: man if I saw an elf nobody would be able to stop me Kurt Wagner: From what Logan: nobody would be able to stop me

#wolverine #james howlett #kurt wagner #nightcrawler #x-men #original: tumblr

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“Call me old fashioned, but an evil ascension to power just isn’t the same without someone chanting Latin in the background.”

— Apocalypse

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Pietro Maximoff: Did you and Mystique have sex? Azazel: Scott Summers: Yes. Kitty Pryde: Dude, what? Kurt Wagner: Where do you think I came from? Logan: You can't ask if people had sex. Pietro Maximoff: Okay, I'm sorry! Pietro Maximoff: Azazel: Pietro Maximoff: What was it like? Logan: Stop. Pietro Maximoff: Hm? Logan: Stop! Kurt Wagner: I definitely don't want to hear what my dad's sex is like. Logan: Though--actually, I am interested, because you're interdimensional and a demon- Kurt Wagner: OKAY EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT SEX WITH MY DAD.

#pietro maximoff #quicksilver #azazel #scott summers #cyclops #kitty pryde #shadowcat #wolverine #james howlett #original: dimension 20 #original: fantasy high

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Jubilee: I mean, you don't want to end up like Logan. Without, you know, any friends.

Logan: What? I have friends.

Laura Kinney: No. Logan has friends. Kurt,

Laura Kinney:

Laura Kinney: I shouldn't have made that sound like I was gonna have a list.