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David: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Regina: Murder?
David: An accident.
Regina: Oh, that's how I'm going to make it look.
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Regina: What's your relationship with David?
Killian: I'm Dave's right-hand-arm-man. I'm Dave's everything; his confidant, his best friend, his silly rabbit.
Regina: Is that what he calls you?
Killian: No :)
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Killian, having just talked to Snow: We just talked for a little bit.
David: And?
Killian: I don't think you need to be concerned about her leaving you for me.
David, sarcastically: I was pretty concerned about that.
Killian: She's definitely leaving you for somebody, so don't be so...
David: Can you leave me alone? I'm trying to be a husband, and your mojo's getting all over me.
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Belle: Look, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that.
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Snow: Well, that's done. I told my dad he's not walking me down the aisle.
David: How'd he take it?
Snow: He didn't seem to care.
Snow: He just asked me if any of my 'hot friends' would be sitting at his table.
Snow: I wish I had a dad who wanted to be part of my life.
David: Well, if he hooks up with one of your hot friends, he'll be part of your life.
Snow: ....
David, laughing at his own joke: I was trying to make you laugh.
Snow: ....
David:... You don't want to laugh...
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David: All right Dad, what's going on? You're on time, you brought a gift...
David: It's 6 o'clock and you don't smell like tequila.
Robert: What? I can't make a good impression?
James: No. That is why we're confused.
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David: Speaking of school, what are you, a sophomore?
Teenaged Emma: No I dropped out last year so I'm a no-more.
Snow: You dropped out of school?
Emma: What do I need school for?
Emma, holding up her cellphone: The lady inside of this, she knows everything.
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Snow: Shh! I told David that Dad was dead.
Regina: Why would you do that?
Snow: Because he's a narcissistic sociopath.
Regina: Then what are you marrying him for?
Snow: I'm talking about Dad.
Regina: Oh. Oh, yeah. He totally is.
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Killian: Screw you!
David: Screw YOU!
Rumple: Screw both of you!
Regina: Excuse me... excuse me. I think I need to sit down for a minute.
David: You okay?
Regina, clearly confused: Yeah. It's just everybody's fighting and nobody's mad at me.
Regina: I-I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
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Snow: So I ate a couple of pot gummies.
Snow: Then I forgot I ate the gummies, so I ate more gummies.
Snow: This is my first gummy beat experience and it's not good.
Snow: Here are my takeaways:
Snow: A) Don't eat 9.
Snow: B) I'm gonna die.
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Dr Hopper: Look in my eyes and repeat after me: I am okay.
Emma: You are okay.
Dr Hopper: No, you are okay.
Emma: No, you are okay.
Dr Hopper: I am trying to get you to say 'I am okay.'
Emma: But I am so not okay and I'll never be okay!
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Cora: Don't speak ill of the dead.
Regina: Don't be a piece of shit before you die.
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Snow: What have we always said is the most important thing?
Emma: Mac and cheese.
Snow: Friendship.
Emma: Oh, right. Friendship... I thought you meant of the things you eat.
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Hook: Emma, I think you need to apologise for the mistake you made.
Emma: What 'mistake' are you talking about?
Hook: You slapped me in the face.
Emma: That was very much intentional.
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Emma: Did Elsa just tell me she loves me for the first time?
Ruby: Yeah.
Emma: And did I do finger guns back?
Ruby: Yep.
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Emma: Before you say no-
Regina: No.
Emma: I haven't even told you yet-!
Regina: I'm sticking with no.
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Hook: No one listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
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