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Mallory: When you’ve been inspector for as long as I have, you develop a thick skin.

Sid: Brown is not your colour.

Mallory: Brown brings out my eyes you PRICK!

#father brown #sid carter #inspector mallory #i haven’t watched the latest seasons and honestly probably won’t bc i love mrs m too much #however i am always taking submissions!

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Lady F: Friends, your Christmas gift this year is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

#WHY did i queue this #merry belated christmas #fuckin hell #father brown #lady felicia

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Bunty: ✨Normalize not loving every member of your family✨

Sid: You can just say “I hate my mom”. PLEASE, talk like a normal person.

#father brown #sid carter #bunty windermere #disaster twins

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Flambeau: I’m not trauma-dumping, I’m sharing my super cool evil backstory.

#father brown (softly): hercule no #father brown #hercule flambeau

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Sid: Fuck capitalism. It’s a rigged system that keeps the poor down and it isn’t fair. You shouldn’t need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Sid, playing Monopoly: Sorry! If you wanted to win you should’ve tried not being poor.

#father brown #sid carter

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Everyone, addressing Goodfellow: We’ve been looking for a volunteer to suffer the consequences of our actions…

#mans rly goes thru it huh #father brown #sergeant goodfellow

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Sullivan: I’ve been really into true crime lately.

Sid, trying to flirt: You know I've been the primary suspect in quite a few murder cases.

#father brown #sid carter #inspector sullivan #cartivan

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Mallory: Hey everybody! Today Valentine and Sullivan called me short so I’m starting a Kickstarter to put them down.

Mallory: The benefits of killing them are that I would be called short way less-

#father brown #inspector mallory #inspector valentine #inspector sullivan #inspector gadgets

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Bunty: Men kiss each other. I saw it in a book.

Sid, already holding Sullivan: Oh, I thought that was a command.

Bunty: Men! Kiss each other!

#sid: aye aye #father brown #sid carter #bunty windermere #inspector sullivan #cartivan #disaster twins

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Father Brown: You know that voice in your head that tells you that you're doing something wrong?

Sid and Bunty: You mean the one that sounds like Mrs. M?

#father brown #fr brown #sid carter #bunty windermere #disaster twins

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Father Brown: In the winter I wear vestments with a black hat and sometimes a black coat.

Father Brown: In the summer, I wear...the same thing, because I look good in black and I'm willing to suffer.

#it’s been. a vine comp kinda day. somebody make me study for finals #father brown #fr brown

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Lady F: He doesn’t deserve you! If he doesn’t treat you right by now then you’re gone!

Mrs. M: I’m gone!

Lady F: Good! Now let’s go chop his dick off!

#nsfw? i guess #this is about every man mrs m has ever considered romantically EXCEPT blind arry he can stay #father brown #mrs mccarthy #lady felicia

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Sullivan: I was perfectly fine not trusting people! Not trusting people is what I’m used to! It’s my comfort zone!

#father brown #inspector sullivan

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Sid: I love you.

Sullivan: I’m glad one of us does.

#father brown #sid carter #inspector sullivan #cartivan

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Mrs. M: Next step is to fold in the cheese.

Bunty: What does that mean? What does "fold in the cheese” mean?

Mrs. M: You fold it in.

Bunty: I understand that but how do you fold it? Do you fold it in half like a piece of paper and drop it in the pot or what do you do?

Mrs. M: Penelope, I cannot show you everything.

Bunty: Okay, well can you show me ONE thing?

Mrs. M: You just-here's what you do you just…fold it in.

Bunty: I don't know how to “fold in" BROKEN cheese like that!

Mrs. M: And I don't know how to be any clearer! You take that thing that's in your hand, and you-!

Bunty: If you say "fold it in" one more time-

Mrs. M: It SAYS fold it in!!

#father brown #bunty windermere #mrs mccarthy #parental guidance #i guess? idk i’m actively in a lecture while posting this so. limited thinking happening AJSJDJDJD

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Lady F: So, if I ask you all a question about boys, do you promise not to be weird?

Sid, Bunty, Mrs. M, and Father Brown: Of course, absolutely.

Lady F: Okay, so there’s this boy who—

Everyone else, collectively: You can do better.

#father brown #sid carter #bunty windermere #fr brown #mrs mccarthy #lady felicia

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Father Brown: You should really seriously address your past experiences.

Flambeau, relentlessly: Cringe trauma from my fail childhood.

#this also works for bunty and sid and sullivan and #father brown #fr brown #hercule flambeau #flambrown