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Rebecca (about dating Ted): Last week, I sent Ted to buy petrol. But instead, he bought novelty cookie cutters. Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur. He’s amazing. 

#rebecca welton #ted lasso #ted x rebecca #source: parks and rec.

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Rebecca: Life is short. But also terribly and insufferably long at the same time. 

#rebecca welton #source: jenna marbles #ted lasso

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Keeley: Just tell him, “You have beautiful eyes”.

Rebecca: That’s good! Great idea!

Rebecca *to Ted*: I have beautiful eyes. 

#rebecca welton #ted lasso #source: rio #ted x rebecca #keeley jones

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Ted: We were counting on you.

Jamie: Well, that’s your fault. I have carefully cultivated a persona that screams “You’re on your own”. 

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #source: community

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Ted: Going to Plan B?

Beard: Technically, this would be Plan G.

Keeley: How many plans do we have? Is there, like, a Plan M?

Beard: Yeah, but Jamie dies in Plan M.

Roy: I like Plan M. 

#ted lasso #coach beard #keeley jones #roy kent #jamie tartt #source: leverage

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Rebecca (to Rupert): With all due respect, which is none, go to hell. 

#rebecca welton #source: community #ted lasso #rupert mannion

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*in 1x09*

Keeley: You’re avoiding your problems.

Rebecca: What? No I’m not. Can we talk about this tomorrow? 

#keeley jones #Rebecca welton #ted lasso #source: tumblr

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Ted: It’s a Feeling Stick. Whoever is holding the Feeling Stick has permission to say whatever they are feeling without being judged. I’ll go first: I feel like I wanna know what you’re feeling.

Ted: *passes the Feeling Stick to Roy*

Roy: *breaks the Feeling Stick*

Ted: Believe it or not, that’s not the first time someone’s broken my Feeling Stick.

Ted: *pulls out a smaller stick*

Ted: I have a travel size. 

#ted lasso #roy kent #source: new girl #i feel like there's a 95% chance this has actually happened in the show

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Roy: Violence is never the answer. It’s the question.

Roy: And the answer is “yes”.

#Roy Kent #ted lasso #source: technoblade

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Keeley: I made this friendship bracket for you.

Rebecca: I’m not really a jewelry person...

Keeley: You don’t have to wear it.

Rebecca: No, I’m going to wear it forever. Back off.

#rebecca welton #keeley jones #ted lasso #source: bob’s burgers

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Rebecca (about Rupert): I’m going to have to kill him or something.

Keeley: Do it! Do it! Do it! Then afterwards we can hide the body. Then you and I can join the search party and look at each other and try not laugh.

#Keeley gets homicidal when rupert’s involves #rebecca welton #Keeley Jones #ted lasso #source: disenchantment

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Ted: Well, there’s only one thing to do when teammates won’t see eye to eye.

Sam: Hug each other until we pass out?

Roy: Fight to the death?

Isaac: Body swap?!

#ted lasso #sam obisanya #roy kent #isaac macadoo #source: the owl house

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Rupert: in a game with no consequences, why would you pick the “good” side?

Ted: Because being mean makes me feel bad.

Beard: Congratulations, you’ve just boiled all of human philosophy down to two sentences.

#ted lasso #coach beard #source: tumblr #rupert mannion

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Ted: Oh my God, Keeley is bi?

Ted: She’s even more powerful than I thought.

#ted lasso #keeley jones #source: 30 rock

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Ted: Roy, I know you think you’re helping -

Roy: I don’t think I’m helping.

#ted lasso #source: bob's burgers #roy kent

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Keeley: Ted, I think Sassy wanted to buy you a drink.

Ted: Really? But I already have a drink.

Ted: Do you think she’d buy me mozzarella sticks instead?

#ted lasso #keeley jones #flo sassy collins #source: 30 rock

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Keeley: What are you doing tomorrow night?

Rebecca *checking her phone*: Let me see. I believe I’m...yes, I’m scheduled to fall asleep in front of the TV.

#keeley jones #rebecca welton #ted lasso #source: friends