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#dreaming

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I can’t post on main D:

#what is going onnnnn

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There are things creatures living beings etc out here

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#comfort

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Amuseable Moon

Ko-fi / Instagram

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#bad bitch

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You CAN do pullups, my friend!

Gym Rings: https://hybridcalisthenics.com/rings Free DIY Rings (Save Money): https://hybridcalisthenics.com/DIYrings

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CN: restraint, seclusion 

“Black students were the most likely to be put in quiet rooms. They accounted for 44% of the New Jersey students put in seclusion, even though they only made up about 15% of the school population.”

#good god. #antiblackness cw

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#self deification

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random details miguel adrover fall 2012

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Tomorrow I’ll pick a couple poems from patreon to post for promo since I haven’t in a while + get at least 1 of these readings done for t*ktok. I’ll work as much as I can.

Tonight I’ll dm [redacted] my question about the lit mag I wanna submit to + maybe post those shoes to depop + maybe start messing around with digital collages like I’ve been wanting to + just make sure I eat. This is fine

#unsure where to begin with onl*fans if I can’t promo anything on here without getting flagged #and there are 0 accessible job options in my area rn lol

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行くあてもない子雀は・・・。

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So lately I’ve been having spontaneous revelations about traumas I have that I truly genuinely believed I had no issues with and having breakdowns about it. What’s all that about

#LAKALJSKJSKJSKAK #this post is mostly lighthearted I’m ok #I am really really sad rn also though #i just realized I have more trauma abt autism than I thought. that this weird belief & obsession I had regarding my own status as human #literally in kindergarden was me struggling so horribly to understand being autistic. I’m Weeping I’m honestly horrified #been poking at that memory for so long trying to understand what she was feeling and I wish it wasn’t this ❣️

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#this made me fucking cry #food

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Fully aware now, after many years, that I’ve conflated my attachment to my childhood abuser with my attachment to my childhood best friend and that this idea that I’m incomplete without him is just an expression of my abuser convincing me I was incomplete without her, so I know it isn’t real but I can’t stop & it’s actually only gotten worse since I realized that ♥️

#miss you so much and for what. for you to be nothing like you are in my dreams. for you to be mean to me on the rare occasion that you’re #not totally absent. when I can just go back to sleep instead #abuse cw #having a Hard Time not reaching out Again. but it’ll pass #like ig I’m not totally sure I’m not everything she said I was #or this wouldn’t be so hard

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So a lot of people think cut/fresh flowers are really expensive or decadent, and that it’s not worth buying them when they’re at a reduced price because they’ll die within about a day and it’s still Too Expensive and like I just. I need to let you know that it isn’t true and unless it’s a super special occasion and you’re going to an actual florist for an actual special bouquet you don’t have to, nay shouldn’t, pay full price for flowers ever. I mean I can only really speak for the UK where you can get flowers in the grocery store which is naturally cheaper than a florist, and also where I always get mine, but the techniques apply to “anywhere one can obtain a bunch of flowers” If you take care of your cut flowers - which don’t worry isn’t hard - the slightly sad looking slightly wilty half price ones will STILL last you two weeks. Observe:

Everything in that vase except the dark red flowers and the ivory roses was purchased, half wilted, in the reduced bucket an ENTIRE WEEK ago. The dark reds and ivories? TWO WEEKS  (I don’t normally premade bouquets because they end up in the reduced less often and even when they do they’re still more expensive than getting a few bunches of different types of flowers) TWO. WEEKS. From a wilted half price “we are become death” state. Here’s what it looked like a whole entire week ago when I put the new flowers in:

(the big yellow bastard in the bottom left is also from the previous week) I mean they’ve still “hardly wilted” now and if I was so inclined I could leave it another couple of days, but this is normally the point at which I remove them and put new flowers in the gaps. Also, cut off the heads and keep them for a bath. You’ll feel So Fucking Fancy and it cost you nothing. So how do you revive sad looking cut flowers, cheat the system, and have a permanent display of vibrant colourful BUT ULTIMATELY CHEAP AS SHIT flowers in your home? 1. Remove the leaves. You can remove all of them if you like but the most important thing is removing leaves along the length of the stem which will be in water. If leaves are submerged they will begin to rot and just kill everything. You can keep the ones that poke out above the vase for bulk and Oooh Pretty Green if you want, or not. 2. Trim the stems with SHARP and CLEAN (preferably steralised by dunking in some boiling water) scissors or a SHARP and CLEAN knife. Do so at an angle. Chances are you need to shorten the stems so they fit in your vase properly anyway, but doing this allows for better uptake of water and nutrients. 3. Use a CLEAN container. If there’s a bit of grossness hanging around from previous flowers, scrub that shit out. 4. Give them cool water. I live in an area with very soft water so I don’t have to do anything, but if you don’t then either filtering it or letting it stand for a few hours first will help. 5. Use flower feed! Most bunches, at least over here, come with a wee sachet of flower food. If you DON’T get a sachet of feed you can MAKE YOUR OWN. It’s super easy. You need 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, 1 tablespoon of regular white sugar and half a teaspoon of bleach (yes really) per 1 litre (quart) of water. You won’t need a whole litre, obviously, but you can keep it in the cupboard in a bottle or just scale down the recipe. Put a teaspoon (or two if you have a big pitcher style vase) in your water. Different flower types optimally need different levels of sugar and you can totally look up what that ratio is if you only have one kind (like all roses or something) but 1 tablespoon: 1 litre works well enough. Now that your flowers are back to life, you can keep them looking good for a decent long while 1. Remove dead/wilted heads either as and when you see them or just like once a week (I’m lazy, I just do it once a week) 2. Remove any leaves that are going the same way 3. Once a week, change out the water. Fish out any plant material that may have fallen in, rinse the container, put in new water and feed. 4. When you’re doing the water change, give the stems another small trim. Only 1cm (half an inch) or so, unless the bottom of the stem is going pale and a bit limp looking, in which case lop off as much of that part as you can whilst still being able to fit them in the vase properly. If they end up noticably shorter than the others, just keep those ones to the outside of the arrangement OR put them in the middle and use the other flowers to keep them propped up within the water so they appear the same height. 5. Replace removed dead flowers with ones from your next cut-price bunch. That way you’re a) keeping a perpetual but ever-changing bouquet and b) need to buy less flowers at once than just waiting for everything to die off and replacing the whole thing. Cut flowers make me happy. I’m sure having a nice beautiful bunch of colourful flowers in your room makes you happy too, and you absolutely don’t need to spend a fortune to make that happen.