idkidcjustme

[idkidcjustme]

@size13nikies @who-s-listening @chemerdalabulimia @amireallyrelasping @onetinylittlespark @confessing-apostasies @lilmisswannadi3 @thinanddaintydreaming @eat-your-scale @fedsvin @seven-stars-in-the-sky @be-a-ns @boneday @anorexi-cat @emptiness-saves @greysskies @ilikegirlswhoeatcarrots92813 @n0tskinnyen0ugh @lovethestarsfondly @mydicksbiggerthanyours @abstract-manners @bm-talking-to-the-moon @quietlifewithnosurprises @petite-shambles @shadowygoatofescabar @whoamiagain1212 @leon2121 @stuff-your-e-y-e-s-with-wonder @inkeddwrist @broken-rosex 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[idkidcjustme]

im a mess

[idkidcjustme]

Whump Words #78

“You’re so self-absorbed that this has probably never occurred to you, but you should know: you’re not the only person who’s experienced this kind of pain. But unlike those others, you don’t want to get better. You won’t even try.”

[idkidcjustme]

Everything is going downhill again

I fuck everything up

So many issues

Such a big mess

I can't fix it

I don't even bother to try

[idkidcjustme]

[idkidcjustme]

broken pieces

never fixed

just keep on walking

till u hit rock bottom

[idkidcjustme]

it feels like i can't wake up

like i'm still asleep

i forget everything

i can't do anything

i'm so tired

[idkidcjustme]

I can’t tell you when it began.

Maybe I just slipped without noticing, losing just a little bit of the already precarious hold I have. Perhaps I lost focus one day, and everything went spiralling down.

I am so stressed.

-credits to some blog on the internet

#stress #sad

[idkidcjustme]

There is so much I need to do. It's too much. I can't cope and deal with it. I need to stay clean from selfharm as well. It's all so heavy. How do I carry this? I want to sleep forever and never wake up.

[idkidcjustme]

There is so much to do

I just can't

I want to sleep for like 4 years straight

[idkidcjustme]

The same mistakes again

Why am I so fucking self destructive

What the hell is wrong with me

[idkidcjustme]

//Love//

p. 1: We talk a lot. He is so sweet & loving to me. We call everyday, he gives me compliments and he is just... a dream

P. 2: I told him about my selfharm scars. I kinda lied to him but that's okay. He was being cool about it and said 'the past is the past'. He said I was beautiful no matter what and at the end he told me that he loves me.

P. 3: We videocalled. He was so akward and different. He later told me that he was looking at my boobs. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. Idk why. Is it over?

P. 4: I don't love him. I want to but I don't think I do. Maybe I'll never be able to love someone.

[idkidcjustme]

I'm not sure what's wrong

Life just feels so.... wrong

There is something wrong with me

[idkidcjustme]

nobody talks about how ugly taking care of yourself can be

yes, sometimes it’s taking a warm bath and texting memes to friends and keeping an aesthetically pretty journal.

sometimes it’s crying silently on your couch at 3am, hugging yourself and reminding yourself that you’re a good person.

self care is not always ‘aesthetic’ and cute…and that’s ok. don’t be embarrassed, just do what you need to do.

[idkidcjustme]

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

i'm not okay

#sad #depression #lost #numb

[idkidcjustme]

i don’t get how i don’t give a fuck but i care so much at the same time

[idkidcjustme]

I want to relapse again

I can feel the urge

Inside my head and my body

I want to cut everything away

#selfharm