i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

I may have just accidentally exposed myself as a fujoshi to my mother 🙃

#OH MY GOD #oops #I’m a grown ass adult but this is not something I wanted my family to know #she’s going to have a heart attack #;-; #fujoushi #hentai #pervert #yaoi

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

What is it about STALE hot cheetos that makes me want to believe there’s somehow less calories?? Like what, they dried out too or something?? The FUCK??

#tw #drunk posting #drunk food #drunk #bed #binge eating recovery #binge ed #ed #not pro ed #ed recovery #ednos

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

Y’all ever have a manic episode where you want to swallow some babies, start a fist fight, or commit arson, but you’re at work and you just have to ride it out and rely on your friend to cockblock you from “sexually harassing” your cute supervisor??

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

God made me 5’7” coz she knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the amount of horny that comes with being surrounded by people taller than me

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

I wish I would’ve kept track of how many compliments I got on my skirt today; then I might not have bought two bottles of vodka to get me through my weekend.

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

Ochazuke is the best damn food drunk or sober; I dare you to change my fucking mind.

#ochazuke #chazuke #drunk posting #drunk #drunk food #tw #ed #bed #bed recovery #ed recovery #bsd #bungo stray dogs #literary stray dogs

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

Y’all ever have to mentally exit your body so you can grab yourself by the cheeks and say, “DO NOT blackout” coz you’re at work and the floor is dirty and you’d cry from embarrassment if you passed out at work?

#tw #trigger warning #mental illness #mental health #not pro ed #ednos #ed #binge eating recovery #binge ed #calorie counting #ed recovery

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

YOOOOOO!!!!

LOOK WHAT JUST CAME IN AND MADE MY ENTIRE DAY!! 💖😭😭💖😩💖💖

#yarichin b bu #yarichin b club #manga #anime #yarichin club #Takashi Toono #Yuu Kashima #Kyousuke Yaguchi #Itsuki Shikatani #Keiichi Akemi #Koshiro Itome #Ayato Yuri #Yui Tamura #Toru Fujisaki #Yarichin

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

“How to kermit sewer slide without hurting the people who love you??”

#tw #mental illness #mental health #send help #numb #trigger warning #depression #bpd #suicidal ideation #sorry mom

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

*just got a new tattoo*

Me: Thanks! I’ll probably be back soon 😊

My tattoo artist: I’m here whenever you need me 🙂

Me: Bro 🥺

#why am I like this #send help #bro #new tattoo #tattoo #text post #depression

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

In the mood to get in a

Fist fight💖

#punch me in the face #i need to feel alive #fist fight #just girly things #depression #fight me #self harm #tw

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

YOU GUYS.

I AM IN LITERAL TEARS.

I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM BUT I’LL SCARE MY TÍA.

I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY OR EXCITED IN SO FUCKING LONG.

THIS FEELING IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN SEX.

#BUNGO STRAY DOGS #BUNGO STRAY DOGS STAGE PLAY #BSD #BSD STAGE PLAY #TAWADA HIDEYA #UEDA KEISUKE #DAZAI BSD #DAZAI #DAZAI OSAMU #CHUUYA NAKAHARA #CHUUYA #ATSUSHI #ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA #YUKI TORIGOE #AKUTAGAWA #AKUTAGAWA RYONOSUKE #SHOHEI HASHIMOTO #SEND HELP

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

You guys.

I downloaded Hinge and completed my profile last night and I woke up to 45 notifications. I literally put on there that I like anime and won’t tolerate racism.

And somehow?? I’ve *tricked* 45 people into thinking I’m not a waste of space?? I’m such an impostor H E L P???

I am N O T attractive and my ex has proven I am unlovable - WHAT HAVE I DONE TO THESE POOR PEOPLE??

#hinge #wtf #what have I done #imposter #imposter syndrome #dating #HELP #IM SO SORRY

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

obsessed with these assorted plushie reaction images

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

Thanks, mom.

Let me preface this by saying my mother is not perfect. She never has been. She was a force to be reckoned with when I was a child. I was so deeply emotionally attached, but I also feared her. She never hit me or directly bullied me verbally, but I do have a severe case of what one calls ‘the mother wound’.

But that’s not what this is about.

My life has been ripped apart and flipped upside down and inside out these past 2.5 months, but you know who was there? My mother. In more ways than one. She’s supported my frantic and desperate antics, she stayed up late with me to keep me distracted, she checked on me daily for a while. She’s not perfect, but I get that she’s doing her best - especially now that I’m an adult. Is part of that the trauma speaking? Sure. But I’m still so very thankful I have her during this horrific period of my life.

Two weeks ago I had a crisis. I’ve always had suicidal ideation and said I wanted to die on a regular basis, but this night was different. I genuinely feared for my life. I couldn’t shower, but I wanted to get changed for bed and my clothes were in the bathroom—where I keep my blades. I won’t go into detail, but the next morning was weird. I greeted my dogs, and my mom, and my nephew like nothing happened. But I felt like I shouldn’t be there. Like I was seeing things from the outside - a very, very surreal experience.

And I will throw in as a side note that a great part of why I’m still here is because of her. It sucks, coz I don’t want to be here anymore, but I know she needs me. And I know she’d feel as if she failed if I checked out early while she was doing all she could to love me and try her best to help.

The point of this I that my mom has been such a trooper and a great support recently. I see her catching glances at my tighter long sleeves bumpy from bandages, and I know the sleeves on my hoodies have slipped up to expose the white edges of the gauze, but she hasn’t said a word. She knows my history, but she hasn’t asked me if I’ve relapsed. Maybe she figures I’m an adult now and she has no claim over my body (not that she ever actually did), or maybe she understands I’m going through *the* worst period of my life and is respecting my privacy. Some might see that as doing more harm than good, but I appreciate it. And all of her efforts. I don’t want to have that discussion. Is she an enabler? Yes. Of course. I saw her do it firsthand with my brother. But being the one struggling, I can appreciate that while I know she’s torn about what to do, she wants me to be okay and to do whatever I feel helps me.

So thanks, mom. You haven’t always been the best, but you are so so loved and appreciated and needed. Love you.

#mother’s day #thanks mom #mother wound #tw #trigger warning #trigger #suicide #suicidal ideation #trauma #self harm #self injury #seriously #text post

[i-dont-feel-like-im-me-anymore]

🤷🏻‍♀️

#text post #tawada hideya #dazai osamu #dazai bsd #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bsd stage play #Bungo stray dogs stage play #hideya tawada #lonely #depression #forever alone #double sewer slide #sewer slide #suicidal ideation #tw #trigger warning #suicide