(ED tw) hi! i was wondering if you were willing to share any advice, i grew up in an extremely restrictive food environment (among other things) but i’ve carried the food restrictions thru my life the heaviest i think. i’ve been diagnosed with ARFID, and i struggle with the same thoughts you’ve posted about like not having “earned” the food or like i’m not important enough to waste the food on. do you have tips on pushing past that? i get sick from not eating, then i’ll try eating a little and it hurts my stomach more, so i eat less, etc etc vicious cycle.... thank you for all your helpful posts, i hope that you have a wonderful, easy day. you deserve the kindness and ease
Standard disclaimer: With an eating disorder diagnosis like ARFID, you should always follow certified professional medical advice first, which my advice is not (I’m just some girl on tumblr). Therapy was also the most helpful thing for me, in my mental battle with food.
That said, the most helpful things I’ve found are
1) finding really good/favorite snack foods and putting them in convenient places. I like bright colors and pretty packaging, so sometimes, especially if I’m struggling to eat, that’s a priority. Beans and rice would be cheaper than waffles with a unicorn on the box unless I’m not going to eat the beans and rice, and I would eat the unicorn waffles.
2) inserting eating into part of an already established routine (brush my teeth, then eat breakfast, then take a shower)
3) ANY TIME I AM HUNGRY I EAT. Anytime food looks good, anytime I think to myself, “macaroni and cheese sounds tasty, I forgot about macaroni and cheese mmmmm 😋 “ I eat. I try not to think too much about it while I’m prepping it or ordering it or sitting down or getting out silverware, I just keep reading or playing my game or whatever, while also eating.
4) shamelessly editing out any parts of eating that I don’t like. With a few exceptions (booths, eating with my gf) I despise eating at a table. I spent a lot of Very Bad Times sitting at tables and I realized sometimes I was avoiding eating just to avoid sitting at the table, but also forcing myself to sit at a table while I ate because tHaTs tHe GrOwNuP tHiNg To dO. 🙄 No more, folks. I eat in bed, sitting on the floor, in the shower, while I’m on a walk, while watching tv, while listening to podcasts, while sitting outside, I’ve even taken full plates of food into my closet and sat there to eat because my caveman brain somehow thinks it’s safer 🤷♀️. I also avoided eating because of things like: not wanting to clean up the mess (solution: snack foods that don’t require silverware, premade sandwiches, etc. those applesauce packets are my thing right now.), not wanting to hear plastic bags crinkle (solution: cheap large plastic container to keep chips and crackers in, etc.) the point is: you don’t have to eat the way you were taught is correct. You can put sprinkles on your eggs. You can eat Doritos for breakfast. Do what works for you ily, you got this 🫂☺️
4) I often feel sick or in pain after eating, which is more due to physical reasons than mental in my specific case, but it is difficult. I try to give myself a cool down period, like in a video game, where I just move slower and do less until I feel better. Sometimes I take a nap. For a while I kept sticky notes in my room that said things like “it’s not a failure if you hurt after eating” or “pain isn’t punishment for food, it’s just pain and it will pass, you deserve to eat, your body is better off for having eaten.”
I wish I had a magic cure, eating problems suck 😕💚🫂 but it sounds like you’re doing a great job of working with it as you’re able! I hope it gets easier soon (it has gotten much easier for me over the past few years) 🥰
Anyone else have any good ideas??
25 notes · View notes
White women, do me a favor and read this.
This line, in particular, gutted me:
We eat eggs and I tell Y about how when I was 8 years old, I taught my white friend, B (actually called Becky), how to count to 10 in Urdu. How at school the next day she looked at her feet as she shuffled past me, and the white teacher pulled me aside and asked me why I was bullying Becky, because Becky’s mum said I was bullying Becky, and that maybe it would be best if I didn’t sit next to her anymore. She suggested this with the kind of half-arsed, sad-eyed, apologetic shrug that white women perform when it is less of a scene to administer psychological warfare against a brown child than it is to challenge your fellow white woman.
That was my entire childhood.
33K notes · View notes