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hibiscustea9 · 1 month
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I can't believe that comment you received, what a total dick?? I just am floored someone could read any of your works with all the heart and detail and complexity and incredible time investment and come away with "this didn't meet what I personally wanted to see in a fan fiction and therefore is not worthy." That would be bad enough, but then they have the audacity to attempt and (anonymously) shame you for it?? It's infuriating.
Anyway, your response was slow clap worthy and so on point and maybe it won't sink into their thick skull, but I'm grateful it's out there for others to see. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, not just as someone who truly loves your writing, but as a fellow human being. They can fuck all the way off with that.
Realizing this isn't technically an ask either.... so I will just close with this: where do people get the audacity?
To respond to your question first, anon, I have absolutely no idea. There's part of me that wants to understand, but a much larger part of me doesn't. Normally when I receive a negative comment on a story, I just delete it and move on with my life. I think it was the deliberate nature of going to Tumblr and sending a message that way that really rankled and caused me to respond fully.
I appreciate the kind words, not just about the writing, but about your compassion more generally. Writing has been a real rough go for me over the last couple of years, and I'm grateful for kind comments, and they do massively outnumber the comments from rotten twerps like the person who sent that screed. Unfortunately, it's the negative comments that tend to stick in my brain the most - I can get fifty great, positive, glowing comments on a story, but it's the one "meh, you've done better" comment that I remember. I'm pretty burnt out on writing at the moment, and things like this don't make it any easier.
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hibiscustea9 · 1 month
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i really hated blue velvet and i know a lot of other people did too. i can't believe someone who wrote as beautiful a love story as fire walk with me could write such an ugly, hate-filled story. you pulled the rug out from under us and that made so many of us mad. your writing is amazing and you're so talented and its a shame you wasted it on a story like blue velvet. when you write stories like you have, that's what your readers expect. go back to what you do best and the readers will follow.
Well. Hello to you, too, anon. This is quite a message to get at the end of a work week. The saddest part of this message is that I think you actually thought you might have been trying to help here. I can only assume that your absolute lack of tact and empathy comes from a desire to see more of the writing you previously enjoyed and that this is an attempt, however misguided, to motivate me into writing that. I'll respond more in detail after the jump.
You're not the only person to dislike "Blue Velvet," anon. In fact, I've gotten several comments on that story from people who didn't enjoy it. I'm aware that the shift in the story, and the revelations late in the game, did change what people's expectations were. That is one of the risks readers have to accept in reading in-progress works. I don't work by writing an entire story and uploading it all at once, so tags are updated as the story progresses, and as needed. I ensure that the tags are up to date for whatever the most recent chapter of the story is, but if you're going to read something that's still being written, you have to accept the fact that there might be something which occurs that you aren't in favor of.
As to your description of "Blue Velvet" as ugly and hate-filled, that, I would argue, is in the eye of the beholder. I received a number of comments describing the story as beautiful and full of love. You have the right to disagree with that, and so if you found it to be an ugly story, that's your perspective and you have the right to feel that way.
What you really don't have the right to do is come into my house and piss on the carpet. I can only assume that you haven't left comments on any stories I've posted on AO3, and since you don't have the courage to post this any way other than anonymously, I'm willing to guess this is the first feedback you've given me on any of my stories. I don't know what sort of perspective you have on the world and the way it works, and I'm not going to speculate. But the fact that you felt comfortable enough to come to Tumblr, fill out this form, and submit it, tells me that you don't really care about other people, and your pitiful attempt at giving advice - which seems completely to be about what you, personally, want to happen - underscores this.
Here's the reality, anon: I'm not your personal fanfic writer. If you want to pay me $5000 a month so I can quit my job and be your personal fanfic writer, I will absolutely write anything you want. But you're not going to pay me $5000 a month. Nobody is. Nobody has ever paid me anything for any fanfic I've ever written. You have never had to pay a single dime to read any of the almost 2 million words of fanfic I've written since July of 2020. Nobody has ever had to pay for what I write, and that's the way I like it. I like to have the freedom of writing what I want, and publishing it, and getting feedback.
If you actually had constructive feedback based on an aspect of the story, I'd be more than willing to listen to it. If you wanted to argue, for example, that Noah wasn't a realistic character, that his dialogue sounded false, that there wasn't anything clear about what his motivations were, or anything else, that would actually have been helpful. That would have been appreciated. But even then, you don't give advice like that unless someone specifically asks for it. This is not an advanced writing workshop and you are not here to give brutal feedback to get my writing in shape. You are a reader, I am a writer, and if you do not enjoy what I am writing, I have very good news for you - there are literally 11 million other works on AO3 you can read instead.
You might also be surprised that what you've said about readers coming back if I go back to what I do best isn't even true. "Fire Walk with Me" was the high water mark of my fanfic writing career in terms of reader response, as you've noticed. But since then, my readership has fallen off a cliff, even when I'm literally writing work in the same series. "Blue Velvet" has more kudos and more bookmarks than both "Cobblestones" and "Half Past Midnight," so you clearly haven't looked at the actual story data itself.
I'm not angry with you, anon. I feel sorry for you that this is how you choose to interact with the world and what you have to say to someone whose work you allegedly admire. And I'm frustrated, because all feedback like this does is make it less and less likely that I'll write anything in the future.
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hibiscustea9 · 2 months
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the next time you hesitate to leave a comment on a fic remember that I go back and read all the comments I get on my fic whenever I'm feeling down and it makes me feel so much better
if you leave nice comments on ao3 i love you
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hibiscustea9 · 2 months
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Chapter 18: A Clear Blue Sky
Chapter 18, the final chapter of "Blue Velvet," is now up. We come back, later than when we left. Time has passed, and new relationships, new lives, and new directions abound in Pelican Town. But one thing hasn't changed, and that's love.
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hibiscustea9 · 2 months
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Chapter 17: Cornflower Moon
Chapter 17 of "Blue Velvet" is now up. Noah has four crucial conversations, and comes to an important decision about the future.
Sometimes the best path isn't the easiest, and sometimes the thing you're looking for comes to you only when you aren't looking.
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hibiscustea9 · 2 months
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Chapter 16: True Blue
Chapter 16 of "Blue Velvet" is now up. Noah learns some long-hidden truths, and has more than a few realizations about what the path forward looks like. Just when everything seems impossible, new doors can open in the most unexpected way.
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hibiscustea9 · 2 months
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Chapter 15: Royal Blue
Chapter 15 of "Blue Velvet" is now up.
It's time.
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hibiscustea9 · 3 months
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Chapter 14: Darker than Cobalt
Chapter 14 of "Blue Velvet" is now up. The bottom of the Skull Cavern, and what lives there, awaits. The time has come for Noah to confront the evil at the heart of the cavern, and, if possible, to escape.
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hibiscustea9 · 3 months
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Chapter 13: Black and Blue
Chapter 13 of "Blue Velvet" is now up! Noah proceeds deep into the Skull Cavern, and deep into his own thoughts. With nobody around, the only thing to keep him going is himself.
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hibiscustea9 · 4 months
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Chapter 12: Turquoise Veins
Chapter 12 of "Blue Velvet" is now up! The time has come for Noah's dive into the Skull Cavern, and everything that comes along with it. After an unexpected boon, the door is opened, and the only way out is through.
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hibiscustea9 · 4 months
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Chapter 11: A Touch of Teal
Chapter 11 of "Blue Velvet" is now up! With a course of action firmly set, Noah goes through the steps of making sure all his bases are covered. After all, some decisions, once made, can't ever be altered.
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hibiscustea9 · 5 months
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Chapter 10: Pearlescent
Chapter 10 of "Blue Velvet" is now up! With an unwelcome couple weeks of recovering from his initial foray into the Skull Cavern, Noah ponders some options, does some research, and comes up with a solution that just might be what he - and Mr. Qi - are looking for.
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hibiscustea9 · 5 months
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Long-overdue update
Hi, everyone. This is a quick update about “Blue Velvet” and my fanfics more generally.
There’s no easy way to say it other than this: I’m fried. I’ve crunched the numbers, and since July of 2020, I’ve written almost 1.75 million words of fanfic. During the worst of the pandemic, when I was able to work mostly from home, it was sustainable to write the amount of pages I was writing in a single week and maintain a pace of uploading a chapter a week.
But we are no longer in the worst of the pandemic. I’m working a job that regularly requires 50 to 60 hours a week out of me, some weeks more than that. Not all of these hours are in person, but a good number of them are, and I have other obligations outside of that. Many nights I have to get work done for my job, and even days where I’m technically off, I still have to get work done (the joys of being a salaried employee).
I simply cannot sustain the pace I once did. It’s not possible. I’ve tried, and the only thing that’s happened is that I’ve been burnt to a crisp doing it. Writing eleven to fourteen thousand words a week, on top of all the other stuff I’ve had to do, is not possible any longer. It’s frustrating, because I really love writing, and I’ve been particularly enjoying writing “Blue Velvet,” but I’m so, so, so tired all the time.
I’m not doing well lately. I haven’t been doing well for a long time. And as much as I’ve hated coming to this conclusion, writing fanfic is contributing heavily to the constant exhaustion I feel.
So here is what’s going to happen: “Blue Velvet” is going to update every other week, starting with this upcoming chapter. There are only nine chapters left, and I will have some extra time over the holidays where I can get work done, so my goal will be to finish by the end of January. After that, I’m taking time off. A good bit of time, probably at least six months, to try and fully recharge my batteries. I have another unfinished fic that I may do what I can to get finished in and around that time, but I’m not starting any new projects for a long while after this.
I don’t see a way anytime in the near future where I’m going to be able to get back to the chapter-a-week pace. Any fanfics I pick up going forward are almost certainly going to have to be updated every other week. Thank you all for your kind comments and your support throughout. I’m incredibly grateful that you’ve been along for the ride, and while I’m sure this isn’t the sort of message you want to read, it’s necessary if I’m ever going to come back to writing any more fanfic after this.
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hibiscustea9 · 5 months
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Chapter 9: An Aqua Shroud
Chapter 9 of "Blue Velvet" is now up! Noah's first dive into the Skull Cavern goes about as well as any first dive into the Skull Cavern. It's what happens after that's unexpected.
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hibiscustea9 · 6 months
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Chapter 8: Wild Blue Yonder
Chapter 8 of "Blue Velvet" is now up! A long and longing conversations leads Noah to a realization about something he never knew existed. With a few preparations, and a few promises, he's off on an adventure. What he finds is anyone's guess.
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hibiscustea9 · 6 months
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Chapter 7: Navy Linen
Chapter 7 of "Blue Velvet" is now up, after a few weeks off. Noah's dinner date with Mr. Qi looms on the horizon, but inherent suspicion mandates gathering intel first. Noah knows more than he thinks, but nowhere near so much as he might learn.
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hibiscustea9 · 7 months
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"Blue Velvet" on hiatus until October 1
Hi, everyone.
This is a quick note to let you know "Blue Velvet" will be going on hiatus for a few weeks. Life has been extraordinarily busy and I'm pretty tuckered out. Between work and my personal life, I've had very little energy to spare, and almost all of it has been going toward writing this story. I need a couple of weeks to just take some time and breathe and recharge my batteries. We're roughly a third of the way through the story, and the next eight or nine chapters will focus on the next major thrust of storyline, so it's actually not too terrible a place to pause. I'll be back in October and will pick things up with chapter 7 then.
Thank you so much for your patience; I appreciate all the feedback and how much you've been enjoying the story to this point. I'll see you in a few weeks, guys.
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