here-i-come-2-ruin-everything

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

One time my rabbi told us, “imagine you had a box with a little bit of god in it. What would you do with the box?”

So we were like ?? “We’d protect it and keep it nice and clean and polished” and he was like “your body’s that box. Stop eating markers”

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

Bruce Wayne has to be remarkably handsome if random muggers/villains keep calling him “pretty boy” well into his forties, just saying.

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

demoiselle stays on my mind 💛

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

“Lolita isn’t a perverse young girl. She’s a poor child who has been debauched and whose senses never stir under the caresses of the foul Humbert Humbert, whom she asks once, ‘how long did [he] think we were going to live in stuffy cabins, doing filthy things together…?’ But to reply to your question: no, its success doesn’t annoy me, I am not like Conan Doyle, who out of snobbery or simple stupidity preferred to be known as the author of “The Great Boer War,” which he thought superior to his Sherlock Holmes. It is equally interesting to dwell, as journalists say, on the problem of the inept degradation that the character of the nymphet Lolita, whom I invented in 1955, has undergone in the mind of the broad public. Not only has the perversity of this poor child been grotesquely exaggerated, but her physical appearance, her age, everything has been transformed by the illustrations in foreign publications. Girls of eighteen or more, sidewalk kittens, cheap models, or simple long-legged criminals, are baptized “nymphets” or “Lolitas” in news stories in magazines in Italy, France, Germany, etc; and the covers of translations, Turkish or Arab, reach the height of ineptitude when they feature a young woman with opulent contours and a blonde mane imagined by boobies who have never read my book. In reality Lolita is a little girl of twelve, whereas Humbert Humbert is a mature man, and it’s the abyss between his age and that of the little girl that produces the vacuum, the vertigo, the seduction of mortal danger. Secondly, it’s the imagination of the sad satyr that makes a magic creature of this little American schoolgirl, as banal and normal in her way as the poet manqué Humbert is in his. Outside the maniacal gaze of Humbert there is no nymphet. Lolita the nymphet exists only through the obsession that destroys Humbert. Herein an essential aspect of a unique book that has been betrayed by a factitious popularity.”

— Vladimir Nabokov (tr. Brian Boyd), Apostrophes (1975)

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

Has this meme already been done-

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

“Nobody’s going to want to sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours to get from New York City to LA.”

Me. I will sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours. I’ll sit on it for days. I’ll write and read and nap and eat and then do it all over again. I’ll stare out the windows and see America from ground level and not have to drive. I’ll see the Rockies and the deserts and cornfields and the Mississippi River and your house and yours and yours too. I’ll make up stories in my head about the small towns I see as we go along. I’ll see the states I’ve yet to see because driving or flying there is a fucking slog and expensive to boot. I’ll enjoy the ride as much as the destination. And then I’ll do it all over again to come the fuck home.

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

Cowboy Carter

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

My favorite rejected New Yorker submission

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

Bruce: You were supposed to do something about the raccoon under the deck.

Damian: I did! I named him Lord Moseby. He likes Coco Puffs.

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]

He would never turn down a fist bump

[here-i-come-2-ruin-everything]