hello779

[hello779]

love and heart break in the cold brisk of wind.

[hello779]

poop

[hello779]

#memepage #meme

[hello779]

8/4/21

I again stopped journaling starting to become once a month rather than once a week I think I should start making a goal to make it once a week again especially since the next quarter is starting and speaking of next quarter I still have to change my class to biology instead of socials I think that will be very helpful for me in the future since I don't exactly have a backup plan and if I don't have science for grade 11. spring break finished about 2 weeks ago and I'm finally deciding on buying a phone but I'm going to have to wait till August because they have better deals and sales during that time for back to school. I'm thinking about getting a Samsung or a Google pixel I don't exactly want an iPhone it's going to be one of the last choices I make on the list but I still, either way, have to do some research on what a good phone I should get. for my math class I'm finally passing but then not only that my teacher said I have the potential into getting into precalculus instead of foundations so if I could get into precalculus that would be great but I know I would be struggling a lot so then it's just what's the point of me taking it if I know I'm not going to do well. and work has been okay it's work there's nothing else to it I made great money in my recent paycheck which I'm very happy about since all my money was taken to help pay the bills. I've also definitely have been getting fitter I've reached my goal of 115 lb. and as for my skin my forehead has gotten better it's just a few bumps and then my cheeks have been just playing scars because of wearing a mask all the time especially for work we wear the blue master that they provide so it gets really knowing but they ain't really no one can see and since I'm making money now I think I can finally go by the CeraVe cystic acid face wash and cream and just pray it does good to me. I've been thinking about going back on to journaling in a book rather than online since I'm not keeping up with my weekly schedule of online journaling and at least with paper it's not staring at me my phone's not staring at me and reminding me that I have to journal I have to do this like all the time and if I do decide to go back on paper I might just print out everything I've written so far and then delete my account which will be upsetting since I have this account now specifically for journaling so I don't know what I'll do with it. well bye for now I'll try to be more in touch now.

#school #workinghard #math #proud #new phone #artwork #stress #goalsetting #fittness

[hello779]

Let people be who they want to be.

[hello779]

7/3/21

It's been a while since I last posted about my live, but it's been alright I think I'm doing okay in math and in art. I started work which is good, I'm working with mom in McDonald just to get some experience but I was being trained while working so it was hard. I have to be working out less because if so when I do work out I just double or triple it. My birthday past now so I'm 17 but I've been 17 for a month now so whatever. my parents finally got me the learners book so I can vroom vroom even tho I'm not too excited about it. Today we made pizza and watched the new Tom and Jerry movie and Raya and the last dragon, and they were both really good. When my parent went to Costco today my dad saw phones because he thinks that I really want and need a new phone which I don't it's just that the one I am currently using is slow and and I'm running out of storage I have like 0.25 GB left which will get me no where and the storage notification on my phone is getting annoying to look at, I can't even swipe it away it just there till I get more storage. My ex dropped another song which is really funny because he sounds like a muppet, I don't exactly know If the song was meant about me mostly cuz I was to busy laughing but oh well he gave me and my friends a good laugh. Anyway it's late night and I'm probably going to read then go to sleep.

#school #exercise #ex bf #movies #tom and jerry #raya and the last dragon #math #art #friends #new phone #job #mcdonalds #humor #driving #birthday #february

[hello779]

I made another art piece that will be a part of the green one. Im calling them go and stop because they are red and green. it looks very lip sticky which is cool I like the lines I painted.

#painting #art #artwork #aesthetic #school #classes #high school #pink #orange #red #purple

[hello779]

I made this painting at school that I really liked. We are going to cut it up to make something else out of it.

My friend in that class said it look like lily pads which overjoyed my heart.

That class makes me really happy and calm I'm so happy I took it.

#painting #art #school #artwork #art class #paint mixing #happiness

[hello779]

I made these two drawing and they represent me in a way. I made this for my art class but I don't know which one is better. I thought I'd share two drawing I'm fairly proud of.

#drawing #art #school #project #mermaid #siren #big nose #nose #proud #hardwork #pencil #ink #sketch

[hello779]

My apology to myself

I'm sorry for the amount of pain, stress pressure I have put on you.

I'm sorry that you don't have a single person to help you and hold your hand.

The people that you did have left you.

I'm sorry that your relationship with your parent isn't as great as you wanted to be.

I'm so sorry for the pain you have felt on the inside, and for not being able to tell anyone about it.

I'm sorry for the scars I have left you over the years.

The people that you care for leave you

and having to hide all the emotions inside you and having multiple breakdowns.

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to put enough effort into your life.

and making you suffer and knowing it was all your fault.

I'm sorry I couldn't be happier on the inside but only being able to show that you're happy on the outside.

I'm sorry you have you on your knees screaming with emotional pain but only being able to by yourself.

I'm sorry I wasn't satisfied with my body on the outside and also on the inside.

I'm sorry for the suffering you had to have by yourself.

I'm sorry that I made you sit here typing all this while crying the night before your 17 birthday.

sincerely me.

#i'm sorry #apologies #apologize #i am sorry #sorry everyone #i can't handle it #i can't stop crying #birthday #tired #im cryin

[hello779]

1/2/21

I know I'm earlier than usual. but I'm just sad disappointed in myself because I said I was going to exercise today, but instead I forgot and I watched movies with my friend. that friend was also supposed to remind me to exercise which was annoying. it's supposed to be my first day with the first start but I already messed it up. I know I could just try again tomorrow, but my mind is so disappointed that I missed the first day I don't know if I'll be able to do it with that mindset. I could change my mindset but I just I'm someone who needs time but time doesn't like to give back it has its own schedule to follow. I can't even do it right now because I showered, washed my hair, cleaned, and ate dinner.I shouldn't make those excuses but it's so late I still have homework to do it's 8:40 and I want to start sleeping early again. I'm just upset I disappointedmyself because I'm getting close and closer to my goal yet I'm getting further and further away. I remembered I had to exercise because I watching YouTuber Alivia D'Andrea and she was doing her thing exercising and I remembered I had to do mine as well but it was so late. Alivia is someone who definitely motivates me usually motivation just drains out of me very fast, but she has this power when I watch her videos because she's just so real and so relatable that it sticks with me.

discomfort = growth → growth = happiness.

Alivia D'Andrea -glow up diaries S2 E3

#exercise #fitness #workout #alivia d'andrea #glow up diaries #disappointed #disappointment #anger #growth #self love #motivation #moving forward #change #busy busy busy #happiness

[hello779]

27/1/21

I feel like the week goes by so fast, I didn't realize that it was Wednesday. Today was the last day of quarter 2 and I'm so excited to get it done and over with, so I can start with my new quarter and get that out of the way. I did really bad on my oral conversation in french and my teacher can tell I was so nervous, therefore I got a bad mark for that I just hope it doesn't effect my grade to the point that my grade is just terrible. in science I have a few more assignments to hand in online but it all good It shouldn't be to hard over all. I'm really excited for art it's sad that it had to be online tho so I only come once a week. I'm going to start exercising again I told a few people to push me to do so because I know I won't do it unless someone pushes me. I have a plan some what and I want to take it another step to my food system of eating healthy. my birthday is in a week I'm sad that it's on a Sunday, birthdays in a weekday are just some other kind of level, I guess it's because you see your friends and you dress up and all that fun stuff. I watched episode 13 of true beauty and j cried because of the mother daughter moment,and as some one who struggles with fitting in the pretty category it's hard and emotional. It was also nice towards the end cuz the two couples were happy till the preview clips showed for the next few episodes. Anyway that was more of today than my week but it was mostly a blur. Actually another thing the other day my best friend all of a sudden texted me in class and asked me to meet her in the washroom, I waited in there for a minute and when she walked in she just cried in my arm because her stupid ex just decided to be an annoying person and basically liked other girls while they were together and was just being a jerk in general. So hats off to the annoying guy that hurt my best friend because you just wait and watch you'll be begging for her back.

#high school #french #science #art #mathematics #true beauty #spoiler tv #my birthday #birthday #heartbreak #ex boyfriend #bff #breakup #beauty #pimples #exercise #workout #fitness

[hello779]

20/1/21

I still find it so crazy that it's 2021, and that there's only 11 days till February. Let's start with good news we might go to Edmonton for my aunt's wedding and that will be fun, another aunt from me dad's said is engaged and will be getting married in 2022 and another aunt still has to get married in May. Some bad news is I'm still behind in science and a bit in french and there's only a week left not including this one, then I have math and art I'm very excited for art and definitely not for math. I just need to get my lazy butt up and start working, I also still need to find a job which it so hard when you don't have experience but can't get any too because of covid. My ex is low-key being weird it's like he trying to spy on me yet avoid me. The other day I was walking to the back to get home and I saw him so I just went the long way around him but he all of a sudden decides to go the same direction as me, so now I'm walking fast and just spamming the lunchie munchie chat like what is he doing. I finally get home and then I have to go back because my friend was alone at school so I walk back to school meet her at the back so I don't run in to him. We sit at the benches and just talk and chill he is just walking around he like peeks out looks at me then walks away, it's like he's waiting for me to be alone and stab me. Today he did that peeping thing then decides to sit at the stairs just around the corner not to far away that he can here me and my friends talk. With him dropping that dumb song about me just makes things so awkward more than it needs to be, your my ex i see you at school awkward then you make a song talking trash about me triple awkward now. I was straight up thinking about unblocking him and then he pulls up with this like what are doing, his album caused a friendship to break it's that stupid. Anyway I was about to forget to post today I thought it was Tuesday today. Me and my sister are gonna start watching Star wars and me and this guy are watching movies too are gonna watch fast and furious so I have two movie series that I'm watching, I have already watched fast and furious but not Star wars so I'm excited. I forgot to put tags in my last post so I better do it this time.

#school #wedding #2021 calendar #ex bf #covid19 #crazy ex boyfriend #movies #fast and furious #star wars #family

[hello779]

13/1/21

This week has been a bit stressful. Thursday I picked my classes and I'm making it official that I want to be a teacher so I have 3 college and universities in mind so I got options. I still haven't told my parents cuz it's just stressful cuz I don't know how they will react to my decision. I also got to finally change my class for next quarter to math 10, so I have to work hard because my counselor is worried I won't do well again. On the other hand skin is feeling better and it's more smooth but it doesn't look like it cuz of all the scares I have and I dont know how to deal with that because I have no money to buy products but I also don't have anything in the house to help me because mom doesn't let me have all those stuff the can "make my skin worse". Also for exercising I'm planing to start again maybe when I start the new quarter so I can incorporate it to my new environment. I took some new pictures yesterday and when I went to SD card to put the pictures in it ,it said that the chip was removed and then I fixed it but when I looked in my SD card again all my pictures were gone. I started to panic and cry I was able to get make a few but most were gone through so that was a bit sad. Well that was my week stress and crying.

[hello779]

06/01/21

Today was really stressful because on Friday I will be picking my courses for grade 12 and let's just say I messed up my grade 11 year and I also just don't know what to pick. I am supposed to be retaking math 10 but I didn't cuz I am stupid, so what I have to do is take math 10 next quarter then take math 11 and 12 next year. so I know what to do for math but not the rest, I know I need to take first Nation studies but I can only take that if more people take it. and for science I didn't know her science ended in grade 11 I thought there would be an Earth Science 12 so I have to take another science. I feel so bad for the counselors who have to keep switching my classes, I apologize. some university's I was looking at was UVic, UBC , SFU, Douglas and KPU, the better option is UVic but my parents won't let me go so far, the other plan is KPU then do the 2 year transfer. during lunch though me and my two friends talked about how my ex made a dumb song about hating me so much, and we talked about zodiac signs a little bit and our fun and moon signs which I honestly still don't know what that is. they're really wasn't anything exciting about today it was mostly just stressful I need to catch up on my earth science homework so behind I just need to start taking action to benefit me. all I hope is that in the future I'm a teacher and I am laughing at all this.

#stress #stressful #school #university #january #2021 resolutions #teacher #future me

[hello779]

my 2021 journey

Hello I'm a 16 year old girl that wants to achieve a lot in this year but that's what all people say. I'm here on tumblr to blog my journey's ups and downs, I will try my best to blog one a week so I have everything fresh in my mind. What I will be mostly talking about is exercising, skin care and school. the blogs will be mostly for me to look back at and see my ups and downs of this year. I'll do the occasional ranting of something stupid or something that makes me mad, that'll be funny to look back at. Like everyone I'm just hoping that this year will be better than the last. I will probably start tomorrow with my first official blog. By the way my grammar is terrible.

#life blogging #skin care #exercise #school #stress #new year