haughttopics

[haughttopics]

CAN YOU BELIEVE?!

#when i tell you i did NOT have this on my 2024 bingo card #only wearp coming back could make me make a gif for the first time in two years lmao #and lemme tell you i have forgotten EVERYTHING #guess i'm gonna have to LEARN AGAIN BECAUSE WEARP IS BACK #wynonna earp

[haughttopics]

rewatching person of interest as i never actually got to the end, now i’m back on my root bullshit 

#god this woman just does things to me #and yeah this show was a bit shitty about root x shaw #but root #i forgot how much she had me by the neck #i need to finish the final season before i dive into the tags

[haughttopics]

Carrie Fisher in a suit

#god i miss her #also this was a look™️ #carrie fisher

[haughttopics]

pride sheet ghosts!!!!

#can't tell you how much i love this #think this is some of my all time favourite pride art on tumblr #i can't explain why but the concept of sheet ghosts in general just gives me a spark of joy #i love the photo trend of it during halloween month #i've never done it myself so i don't have a clue why it makes me feel that way #but anyway cross that with pride flags and yeah i'm just very here for it

[haughttopics]

There’s so much to discover before the world ends.

HORIZON ZERO DAWN (2017)

#can't cope with how beautiful the colouring is on this gifset #like damn #i don't think i've ever coloured anything this nice #(painfully ignoring the fact i've not opened photoshop in well over a year) #horizon zero dawn

[haughttopics]

#typical cat behavior #absolute menaces that cheer me up the second i see one #god i miss living with one so much #the only downside to the place i moved to a few months ago #cats

[haughttopics]

Black hole opened in the kitchen Every clock’s a different time It would only take the energy to fix it I don’t know why I am

#okay but listen i just can't be normal about this song #full on just sobbed for like five minutes at the live performance of it on jimmy kimmel #granted i'm in a bit of an emotional place rn #but the bridge gets me every time #and then lucy's verse afterwards just ruins me #i'm not usually that person who looks into the deeper meanings of the words #mostly because i can't ever hear them lmao #but this one just hits that part of my soul with a sucker punch i can't ignore #boygenuis #not strong enough #music

[haughttopics]

(via)

#can't tell you how much i needed this rn #i watched it for like seven minutes straight #nothing makes me happier than animals #i mean just look at the lil bouncy ears #how can you look at that and not feel some kind of joy in your heart? #anyway i am really missing living with animals rn #even tho i don't miss my old housemate i miss his damn cats #i need that kind of comfort in my life #dogs

[haughttopics]

multiple mental health professionals: that was a traumatic event for you

me: ok but that’s a stupid thing to be traumatized by so

#literally me in the emergency therapy session i had after what happened to me the other night #logically i *know* it's okay to be feeling this way #but my gremlin brain is first of all blaming me for it happening and second of all shaming me for feeling this way when the world is #*gestures at everything* #anyway i seem to have burrowed in my tumblr drafts because i'm desperate for comfort and familiarity rn

[haughttopics]

i’ve had such a distressing week, a few nights ago i got mugged in the street and had my phone stolen. and it’s sent my ptsd into overdrive. thankfully the network provider was able to brick the phone and render it useless, but i’ve still had to do the fun job of trying to remember every account i ever had on it to update the passwords (sigh). so i guess this is also an FYI for anyone who had my number - i know i’ve been a shit person to contact in general the last year, but now i don’t have access to that number anymore (the network said they should be able to move my existing number to a new phone, whenever it is i get one, but guess we’ll see what happens.

#had a horrific panic attack on the tube on the way to the office yesterday #had to go in so they could give me a work phone so i can access my laptop at home still #i'm so exhausted after these last few days #i know it's not even remotely the worst thing to ever happen in the world #but it's shaken me to my core #the way that it happened #i'm so grateful that work have been so kind and incredible to me with the whole thing #a senior svp went out of his way to console me and put a rush on the work phone request #and my boss continues to be one of the best men i've ever known #my new housemates were also very kind and supportive #but i got really upset because i felt like i needed some kind of 'parental' support in that moment #i just really wanted someone to take care of me and tell me it was going to be okay #anyway - hello everyone on tumblr #this is not what i wanted to be saying the next time i came to my dash

[haughttopics]

okay listen i know i keep appearing on tumblr like once every six months, but stayed up to watch the first episode of the last of us show, and man even tho I knew what was coming from the beginning as i’ve played it so many times, it still hurts just as bad 😭

#hi hello am back because i cannot possibly be normal about this show #won’t post much but will tag for spoilers just in case #the last of us #tlou #tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers

[haughttopics]

for everyone who’s non-contact with family members, especially immediate ones, i hope the holidays are gentle to you

#one thing that isn’t spoken about when going non-contact with family is how lonely it can be #especially during a time when society as a whole is hyper focused on spending time with family and loved ones #healing is a painful journey but it gets better #anyway i’m just thinking about anyone else who’s had to make the same decisions for whatever reason #also hi helllo yes it’s me back on tumblr again after like five months #feels like the only place i can truly vent this feeling at the moment

[haughttopics]

Hey ! I hope you’re alright, i haven’t seen you here for a while ! :)

first of all, i'm so sorry this ask was from SIX MONTHS AGO.

generally i'm doing okay, i've just been really terrible with pretty much all social media and online contact this whole time. the more everyone congregates into online spaces, the more overwhelmed i get and step back

but thank you for checking in, that's very kind of you 🥺

#asks #thedumbwolf #i feel very very bad for taking this long to answer messages #but i guess better late than never? #i'm not the best kind of online friend anymore

[haughttopics]

I'm glad you're back! I hope you know your followers enjoy your presense both on tumblr and on earth. From the little I know about you, you seem like a good person who deserves good things. I hope you have a good day!

the timestamp says you sent this when i briefly returned to my dash last time a few months ago and i'm sorry i didn't see it then.

but you're really precious, thank you for sending such a lovely message 🥺

#asks #anon #i hope YOU have had lots of good days since #and i hope you have many more to come

[haughttopics]

it’s been four months since i last ducked in (sorry) and my goodness so much has happened. 

i had to go back to hospital again, but this time i’m doing much better. i got not one promotion at work, but two. TWO! which is apparently completely unheard of. i feel like this is the serious beginning of launching my long term career plan as a woman in the games industry. as a result i’m now about to move literally into the centre of london and i can’t wait. i also may be going on a work trip to the US soon. oh, and my birthday was last weekend and i got to meet actual penguins! actually cried because they’re literally my favourite animals on earth. but my heart hurts because while my life is finally getting back on track, the world is in a very difficult place right now.

anyway, hi hello i’ve missed everyone and i’m sorry i’ve become horrible to keep in touch with online even outside of tumblr.

#also i've not been around but now i'm on 4k followers?? #also also stranger things holy wow #also also also i watched first kill and i wish we had these kinds of shows when i was a teenager #i've sworn off watching new netflix originals because i'm tired of the fuckery but i took a chance on it #when i say i've been horrible to keep in touch with i'm genuinely not joking #i now have messages going back a year that i haven't responded to #on imessage whatsapp insta tumblr you name it #i just really struggle with it so much now and i haven't figured out how to make it better #lord knows my therapist is trying lol #i'm sorry to those of you who've tried to talk to me in basically the last year

[haughttopics]

so last week was my two year work anniversary (?!) and tonight i got to experience my first launch party for horizon forbidden west 😭

#there was also an ‘archery’ competition and i got a perfect score 😂 #it feels so weird to be experiencing things for the first time when i’ve been there two years now? #we had consoles lined up to play the game but i resisted #i want to experience it all properly on my own tomorrow #can’t believe it’s almost here i’ve been so looking forward to it for so long #anyway sorry for my random appearance like a couple weeks ago then disappearing again lol #as you can see a lot has been going on

[haughttopics]

is it too much to ask for after taking a four month break that tumblr doesn’t update its features to make it worse 🙄

#apparently i have missed a LOT #anyway hi hello #sorry i dropped off the face of the earth but a lot has happened in my life #i've been in and out of hospital a whole bunch (not covid related) #the work intensity has been actually insane - for two months i worked on one of the biggest things my job has ever seen #also my mental health took the biggest drop since i started trauma therapy and i didnn't know how to talk to anyone anymore #i have about four months of messages and phone calls on just about every place someone could reach me to go through #and i'm absolutely dreading it #some things stay the same tho - there is a ridiculously attractive woman at work who sends me into constant gay panics #except i'm in the worst state of self-loathing i've ever been in my entire life so of course i'm not going to do anything about it #there's too much negativity in my life right now and nothing really good is happening to counter it #so it's been a struggle for a while but guess i'm still going somehow #literally held together with tape it feels like #i hope y'all are okay i've missed you