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h-grangerstudies · 7 days
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✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
poisoned mercury | pink skies
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a/n: bf!luke, who else cheered?; suggests that five star and luke spent the night but nothing explicit! i decided not to let the angst monster touch them. they're my babies!!!! five star and luke get behind me!!!
viii. pink skies by lany
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there were many things about luke castellan that surprised you. one being that he wore glasses, or at least is supposed to wear glasses. he refused to wear them, against the sound medical advice of his optometrist and his mom’s insistence. his first adult responsibility was buying his own contacts because his mom refused to set up the appointments for him out of spite. he only wore his glasses when he was around the boys and poisoned mercury’s management team, but never out in public, and definitely never on stage. 
two, he loved jazz music. only a handful of people knew this about him and half of those who do, don’t believe him. he supposed it was hard for people to believe that a pop punk lead singer would have an appreciation for jazz music, but luke loved it. jazz always sounded romantic and sensual and there was something calming about it. he listened to jazz before each show. he’ll never admit this unless you twist his arm, but he wept like a goddamn baby when he first watched la la land. 
third, he was a polyglot, which he says is a little ironic because according to his mom, he spoke his first words in english significantly later than his peers, but he picked up on other languages quickly. he first found out about his talent in high school when he started hanging out at the rodriguez household and chris’ mom and sisters started saying phrases to him in spanish. he started taking spanish classes in high school and kept teaching himself when he dropped out. so far he can speak spanish, italian, and a bit of french. he attempted to learn greek, but it never clicked for him. he knew how to read it but his pronunciation was atrocious. he promised he’d try again sometime soon, but who knows if that’ll happen.
fourth, his idea of pillow talk was the two of you asking random questions to each other to get to know each other better, which is how you learned all these things about him. after one thing led to another last night, you fell asleep to the sound of luke’s voice against your ear. it wasn’t even that late; the group hadn’t come back from their trip to get food after they left the party, but you and luke were sleepy as you lay in the tangled sheets of your bed, at peace. 
you learned that he was ticklish on the side of his ribs and that he planned to get a tattoo there but when the artist tried to put the stencil on his skin, he giggled and moved around so much that the artist warned him about his placement. he didn’t end up getting the tattoo there, but instead got it a little lower on his torso. luke had six tattoos, making him the one in the band with the least amount. the stolls were tattoo fiends and made it their mission to get a small tattoo from each place they visited on tour. luke’s personal favorite was the single line on the side of their index finger. it was a messily done stick-n-poke after one too many drinks in new jersey. 
when he was younger, he used to climb on the roof of his house in connecticut. his parents warned him that he was going to hurt himself one day, but he, being the rascal that he was, never listened. until one day, after a light rain, he’d gone up there and slipped on the shingles and fell face-first against the roof. he scratched his face pretty badly, hence the scar on his face now. he told people that he got the scar from a bar fight because it sounded cooler. one day his childhood pictures will be posted on some website and his cover story won’t be as believable anymore, but that’s a bridge he’ll cross when he gets there. 
it was weird to fall asleep next to someone. you hadn’t found yourself in this position in a long time, longer than you’d care to admit. when you hooked up with people in college, you purposefully made up some excuse about why they had to leave before sun up. “my roommate will be back soon.” “i have a huge test tomorrow morning.” “my friend just called and said she needed my help so i gotta go.” but with luke, you didn’t feel the need to make up an excuse to kick him out. you didn’t want him to go. 
he asked the silent question as he was putting his clothes back on, hesitantly approaching your bedroom door to exit. he didn’t know if he was overstaying his welcome. he didn’t want to rush you when it came to things like this. so when he’d asked where his other shoe went, not caring about where it landed in the heat of the moment, you shrugged your shoulders and said, “dunno. we’ll figure it out in the morning, come back to bed.” 
you didn’t need to tell him twice. 
luke woke up before you did. you were lying on his chest, face pressed into the crook of his neck. your breaths made his skin tingle. he twirled the ends of your hair around his fingers, taking in the view of you next to him. he could get used to waking up like this every morning, he thought. he couldn’t imagine a better way to start his day. 
you stirred, craning your head to face him as your eyes fluttered open, a subdued smile on your face, “g’mornin.” 
“g’mornin’, five star,” he replied, lips immediately leaning over to press against yours. he frowned when you pulled back, shaking your head, “let me kiss you.” 
“i have morning breath,” you cringed, moving your arm from under you to caress the nape of his neck. you placed a kiss on the corner of his lips, making him groan. 
“i don’t care,” he pouted, nudging your nose with his own. you rolled your eyes but let him kiss you. the kiss was lazy and languid, lips moving gracefully against each other. it was sweet and slow like you were both trying to soak in this feeling with each other. you broke the kiss when you broke out into a smile, suddenly feeling shy. 
“it’s noon,” you said, glancing at your clock behind luke. “we need to get up soon.” 
“five more minutes,” he placed a string of kisses on your shoulder blade, grinning at the red marks he left on your skin from last night. “let’s stay here a little longer.” 
you had a feeling here meant something more than just the comfort of your bed. here was the bubble you both allowed yourself to stay in for the last twelve hours, a little universe that was just for the two of you. it was different kissing luke in the darkness of the night. you could blame it on the secrecy of it all, shadows hiding your feelings for him, no expectations or weight of the dreaded conversation, but in the morning light, you felt vulnerable. you knew the mature thing to do was to ask him about what last night meant. was it just a one-time thing? would things change between the two of you now that the chase was over? you didn’t know. 
little did you know, luke was thinking the same things as you. he would prolong this safe haven for as long as he could in case he would never get to experience it again. luke tightened his grip around your waist, breathing in the scent of your shampoo as he kissed your forehead. he couldn’t stop himself. he got a taste of what it was like to be with you and now, he couldn’t get enough. he’d find any excuse to have his lips on you. he grinned at you as he pulled away, “you snore, you know that?” 
you buried your face in your pillow, embarrassed, “stop it.” 
he laughed, “it’s cute, five star! i don’t mind it.” 
“are you sure?” you asked, scrunching your face up in disgust, “i can’t in good conscience let you sleep over again if you don’t even get any sleep because i snore.” 
“consider your conscience cleared because i really don’t mind,” luke pressed his lips against yours again. gods, he couldn’t get enough of you. “this makes up for it.” 
“ew,” you shoved him playfully, sitting up to start getting ready for the day. luke remained flat on his back on your bed, “you’re so fucking corny.”
he propped his head up on his extended elbow, a smirk on his face. the rays of sunlight that peeked through your blinds illuminated his toned chest. faint scratches and pink marks contrasted his tanned skin. “guilty.” 
you got up from bed, digging out a clean sweater from your closet. you wandered around your room, organizing things as you went on. luke watched you from your bed, eyes following your every move. his white shirt was peeking out from under the sweater. your sleep shorts showed off your toned legs perfectly. your hair was a mess, braids undone, but you still looked gorgeous. he blinked as your eyes darted to him, “you look beautiful.” 
you rolled your eyes, narrowing your eyes at him, “you can’t even see me properly. you don’t have your contacts in.” 
he’d taken them off before he fell asleep. he hated sleeping with contacts in. he’d snuck out in the middle of the night to grab his glasses from his nightstand before slipping back into bed with you. he was thankful you were a pretty heavy sleeper because he didn’t want you to think he was sneaking out to leave you by yourself after last night. when luke returned to his side of the bed, you rolled over and cuddled into him in your sleep, like you’d been waiting for him to return. 
luke reached over to retrieve his glasses from your bedside table and placed them on his face. he pushed them up on the bridge of his nose and shrugged, “still beautiful.” 
you walked over to him, sitting on his lap with your thighs caging him in. you held his face in your hands, admiring how he looked with the frames on his face. luke’s hands made their way to your waist, steadying you. you smiled, “i like how you look with your glasses.” 
a lopsided smile appeared on his face, boyish and charming. “yeah?” 
“mhm,” you hummed, “you look like a nerd. s’cute.” 
“pfft,” he scoffed, poking your side, “i’m not a nerd. i’m a rockstar.” 
“shut the fuck up,” there was no venom in your voice, despite your words. you couldn’t muster any resemblance of annoyance when he was looking at you all doe-eyed and pouty-lipped. you moved from on top of him, crawling over to your empty spot, “luke?” 
he turned to you, “five star?” 
“what are we doing?” 
“we’re spending the day in bed,” he replied, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. he knew that the conversation was coming in soon. he was scared of what you’d say next. 
your smile vanished as your shoulders hunched over, “you know what i mean.” 
luke rubbed his jaw, “you tell me.” 
luke didn’t know what he should say. he didn’t want to say that last night meant nothing to him because he’d be lying if he said that and he didn’t want to lie to you, but he also didn’t want to scare you off by telling you how he really felt. it felt like a situation he couldn’t win. his pessimism was hounding him. he didn’t want to mess this up before it had the chance to start. 
“are we just fucking around? is this casual because i–” 
at first he thought he could handle it. he’ll let you take the lead, he’ll follow you. whatever you wanted, he’s game for it, even if it meant that he got hurt along the way. but then the word casual left your lips and it felt like he was slapped across the face. he thought he could handle it if you wanted you guys to be casual or friends who kiss sometimes or friends who occasionally do more than kissing sometimes, but actually hearing you use those words made him tense.
“please don’t ever use those words about us again,” luke breathed out, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “i don’t know if you’ve noticed five star, but there’s nothing casual about how i feel about you.”
“i think we need to start talking to each other more,” you pondered. “because there’s nothing casual about how i feel about you either.” 
“throw a guy a bone sometimes. you’ve tormented me for two months. how was i supposed to know that?” he teased.
you cocked an eyebrow, “but yet you like me so really what does it say about you?” 
just like that, the indecision faded. it was back to just you and luke. the same way you’d always teased each other and pushed each other’s buttons. you’d both been stressed about what the other was thinking when you should’ve just talked to each other. perhaps all the poets and the writers in the world were onto something when they said that communication is key because you two wasted so much time running away from what this could be. it was funny really, how the two of you were both keeping these things to yourself, too scared of how you felt for each other to make a move. how much sooner could this have happened if you told him how you felt the minute you realized it? would he have kissed you a month ago? would you have been waking up with him beside you on your bed for weeks? who knows? 
“it says more about you, to be honest,” he said, “you’re irresistible. even when you’re mean to me, i adore you.” 
“you’re such a flirt, castellan.” 
“i need to up my game,” luke chuckled, “yeah, i got the girl but now i gotta work to keep you.” 
you placed a hand on your chin, pretending to think, “i don’t recall being asked to be anyone’s girl.” 
“you’re breaking my heart, five star,” he sighed dramatically, clutching his chest. he dropped his body weight on yours, making you squeal and attempt to push him off. he laughed at your efforts. “be my girl?” 
“on one condition.”
“anything.” 
“let me hear the song.” 
luke let out a full belly laugh, rolling over on the bed. he shook his head, biting his bottom lip. there was never a moment where he wasn’t on his toes when he was with you. he didn’t expect you to say that. you really were stubborn when it came to things you put your mind to. that fucking song. “no, i told you it’s not ready!” 
you stuck your tongue out at him, “then no.” 
luke’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as a goofy grin appeared on his face. he pulled you on his lap again, back pressed against his chest. he moved your hair to one side, kissing down the other side of your neck in soft, quick motions. he mumbled into your skin, “fine, but i’m following you around like a lost puppy. i’m yours.” 
you sighed dreamily, reaching over to place a hand on his arm. you couldn’t help but make fun of him despite the butterflies in your stomach, “simp.” 
you felt him nod against your body, “that’s me.” 
“we really need to get out of bed.” 
“five more minutes?” 
it had been at least fifteen since he last asked for more time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. you gave in and got back under your covers with him. you let him be the small spoon this time, your arms wrapped around his toned back, smiling at the soft sighs that left his lips when you ran your fingers down his spine. he kissed your collarbones, face relaxing as sleep overtook him again. 
you watched him fall asleep and reached for your phone, trying not to disturb his rest. you snapped a quick picture of him, smiling as you admired his features. you were falling for luke castellan.
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h-grangerstudies · 9 days
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i. mind over matter
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aphrodite!reader x luke castellan
pre-tlt, characters 18+, mdni, def going to be a pt.2
warnings: cursing, whole lotta impertinence!
2.7k read - unedited
You have been plagued by flocks of doves and Luke Castellan. So Aphrodite decides to meddle a little a lot in your love life. Who needs memories anyway? Unfortunately, the only person you find comfort in - is the very person you hate.
A/N: first fic in a loooong time - stick with me here. there will be more parts and maybeee some spice? anyways hope you enjoy!
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You’d like to think that Aphrodite loved the game of making you miserable. In retrospect, you hated your mother. She was a hard act to follow. 
Don’t jump to conclusions - you loved your cabin. Your brothers and sisters were wonderful - not vain like most campers would say. No, that was not an issue. The problem started with one slender, curly haired, crooked smile boy - Luke Castellan. He was the golden boy of Camp Half-Blood and the bane of your existence. 
Luke was an astonishingly aggravating self-centered egotistical bigot. 
“Why do you hate him so much,” Silena asked one day out of the blue. You both sat in the stands watching Luke teach his swordsmanship class. You pondered her question for a while.
“Because. He confuses me - and aggravates me constantly. I have never met anyone so full of themselves in my entire life. He is Narcissus reborn again. It also does not help that he is a complete jerk,” you nodded as you ate another fresh strawberry. Silena pondered on your words.
“Are you sure this has nothing to do with mom and the whole..argument,” she said in a cautionary tone.
Silena was the only one who knew about you and Aphrodite’s - complicated past. To be fair - she didn’t know the entire truth. The prophecy, the impertinence, all the bullshit. However, she did know that your shoulders seemed to tense every time Aphrodite’s name was mentioned. 
“I mean every time I have talked to him at camp counselor meetings he seems like an alright guy.
Silena - forever the optimist. Sometimes when you looked at her through the corner of your eye she resembled your mother. She had this soft tone and locks of hair that seemed to always catch the wind just right. Yeah, no wonder Luke was nice to her. Selina was extremely beautiful - Beckendorf struck gold. 
“Yeah, I can see right through the façade-” you were cut off by a dove landing next to you. He started pecking at your strawberries mindlessly. Silena stifled a small giggle. 
“It is funny when it isn’t happening to you. The bastards have been following me around for days,” you said annoyed.
You tried scaring the bird away - only for more to return. After a couple minutes an estimated 20 doves flocked around you mimicking every move. 
“Go away!” you screamed - only for the feathered friends to cock their heads in curiosity. By now, the entire arena seemed to convert their attention to you. 
“Hey! I heard if they shit on your head it’ll bring good luck,” Luke echoed watching amused.
He leaned against his sword in a cocky manner. What an asshole - you hated when he did that. The other campers seemed to laugh along. 
“Up yours, Castellan,” you yelled with a face the color of cherries. 
The doves had now increased their army to a solid 50 - all looking to you for a further instruction. Doves had followed you around your entire life - a gift your mother had bestowed to you. The unfortunate part was that they were pretty much the most non obedient monsters on the entire planet. You never had truly understood why they would appear - most of the time it was a random occurrence. Of course - Luke was always there to revel in your misfortune. You still had not forgotten when the doves caused a complete riot last month at dinner - leaving quite a mess for you to clean up. The younger campers were still traumatized. 
That was the thing about doves - they were just like your mother. At first they are nice to look at, almost sweet. That is until they turn into vicious assailants from Tartarus (Silena says you overreact). They also annoy you - another common attribute with your mother. 
“For Gods sake just leave!,” you yelled again, stomping off, bidding Silena goodbye.
You did not want to continue being entertainment for the rest of the campers. The doves seemed to take the hint - maintaining their place in the stands. You were sure there were some week old snacks stuffed between the seats the rotted things could ravish on. Luke chuckled before turning his attention back to his students. 
The sun was setting and soon it would be dinner - but you still sat in bed thinking about what Silena had mentioned early about your mom. Maybe it was your nerves - but you knew a visit soon would be unavoidable. The doves only confirmed your suspicion. It was rare for gods to visit Camp Half-Blood, at least publically. The closest thing the camp had to godliness was Mr. D - what a joke. However, you knew your mother and her constant desire to meddle with your life. 
Dinner went without a hunch - except for the Stoll twins starting a food fight at the Hermes table. You loved quiet nights like these where the summer breeze feels like a warm hug. Silena nudged you - reading her expression you knew she was inquiring about the events from earlier. A shrug sufficed. You were so caught up in laughing with your siblings you failed to notice the yelling from the other side of the pavilion. 
“One of the Ares girls was flirting with Luke after you left today - Charlie and I could not help but laugh. It was so awkward,” Silena mentioned.
 There were a couple of murmured sounds and gawking from your siblings - which was the usual. If there was one thing they loved it was - well - love. However this subject rubbed you the wrong way - maybe it was just Luke’s name being mentioned.
It felt like a suffocating gut punch and it was most likely your mothers doing. If there was anything she loved more it was demigod love - the trials and tribulations - and of course the unfortunate ends. It quite literally made you sick. But why did Luke have to be roped in it and moreover - why did you care? You smiled and nodded - trying to pay attention and not let the thoughts take over. 
“Get these goddamn things off of me!,” a familiar voice yelled in annoyance.
So wrapped up in thought - you failed to care - assuming it was a practical Hephaestus joke with an Ares kid. Selina quickly nudged you pointing towards the Hermes table - for quite an interesting scene. Luke being attacked by a merciless army of doves. 
“Hey Castellan, let them shit on your head - heard it was good luck!,” the words reflected from just a few hours prior.
You couldn’t help but giggle - it was nice not being the receiver of dove aggravated assault (as Beckendorf had termed it). It was also nice not to be the joke for once - everyone laughing at someone else for a change was different. 
“Call the damn things off,” he struggled - yelling your name in the process.
“Why do you automatically assume I am the one who set them off? They just do what they want!” you retorted.
 Silena looked at you - questioning your motives. He struggled even more as the doves thrashed him around - seemling gaining confidence in their blows. They seemed - deadly - more than before. Silena muttered your name.
“You have to try,” Silena persuaded. Reluctantly you obeyed - knowing she was being more serious than she was putting on. 
“Stop!” you yelled sternly to the winged creatures.
Like usual - they did not obey. Unfortunately, they keep going - tearing Luke’s shirt in the process. He held himself quite well against dove assassins  - a fact you did not want to admit to yourself. 
“παύω!” You spoke - pleading that it would end.
It was all your mothers fault. She wanted you to be miserable. She wanted to ruin your night, humiliate you - and to hurt Luke. You weren’t sure why that last part bothered you so much.
 “Φεύγω!” you screamed once more in an earthshaking tone.
The doves dissipated automatically. Like literally - poof - into dust. Again - the entire camp had its eyes on you - what else was new?
“What is wrong with you,” Luke questioned - still astonished at the sheer power of your voice - that very voice that made doves disintegrate. You slowly looked up at his disheveled appearance - he looked worse.
Beautiful. 
You wish that voice in your head would go suck a dick!
“Shows over, enjoy your dessert,” you said bitterly to the crowd taking a bow.
Silena yelled your name but you had already darted towards the woods. You could hear the muttering of the crowd questioning the evening entertainment. You could not seem to care. 
You took a seat in the sand on the beach overlooking the shore. The moonlight seemed to make the water sparkle like diamonds. You felt almost calm here - no one to distract you from your thoughts. Why did his words strike you like a knife? He might as well plant backbiter into your back, it would hurt less. It all led to the proper question - why? Why would the doves attack him anyway? They had never done anything quite so ruthless before - nevertheless to another sole person. 
Then again - it was always about Luke - ever since you got to the infernal camp. He was probably celebrated for his brave victory in the battle of the doves - hoisted up by other campers. You suppose a feast in his honor was in order. 
“You think such unhappy thoughts,” an angelic voice sang from the sea. 
Your attention turned towards a bundle of sea foam. The foam began to sparkle and mangle to take the shape of a woman the closer it got to shore. Soon after your mother - Aphrodite stood before you - in all her glory.
“I thought seafoam was just whale jizz,” you spoke casually. You chucked at yourself that was a good one!
Of - fucking - course. Your mother was behind the entire dove fiasco - you called it. You should start placing bets at this point. 
“Most would be labeled impertinent with that attitude - especially with a God.” 
“I am impertinent.” You shrugged, pulling your knees to your chest. Maybe if you really ignored her she would disappear. 
“I will not disappear yet - we have much to discuss.” 
“Get out of my head.” 
“I heard what occurred tonight at dinner. Shame, doves are very gentle creatures.”
A dove magically appeared in her hands, letting out a soft coo. You cringed. If you saw another dove tonight - you might just roast it and eat it. 
“So that was you?” You asked venomously.
“Well thanks mom! Now the entire camp thinks I tried to kill the golden boy with a league of killer doves. They all think I am absolutely crazy.”
“I did nothing, my child.” You gawked at her - she paused to collect her thoughts.
“However, you might want to look within yourself before you spit accusations that are not true. I merely gave you a gift - how you use it is at your own expense.” She finished. 
“But I don’t control those horrid things - they just show up and do whatever. Why would I even attack Luke with a bunch of wimpy doves?”
That was your mother, having the audacity to say you caused the incident. That it was all your fault. 
“Love, perhaps?” Her eyes seemed to glitter at the thought. 
“No.” Ugh, not this again, you thought.
“Doves are a mere - personification of one’s inner love. That is why I gave you the gift - so your innermost feelings can never be bottled. That does horrid things to one’s complexion.” 
“Well thanks for the shitty gift, mother. Next time maybe a pair of socks will do the trick.” 
“Why do you insist on denying who you are? Denying what you are destined to become? Denying yourself the love of the century?”
“Why love someone if they eventually will die.” It was true. Your father had died when you were young - leaving you an orphan. Your demigod friends you made throughout the years died horrible unspeakable deaths.
“Isn’t that all the more fun?” 
“You’re enjoying this aren’t you? You just love to see me suffer?”
“You’re being rash.” She fired back.
“Rash? Where have you been?” You scoffed at your godly mother.
“Child, I do not write destiny - I only enforce it. I know you more than you would like to admit, sweet dove. And you - are in love with the child of Hermes.”
 Apollo could’ve shot you through the chest - it would have felt better. 
“Mother, you have it mixed up - I do not have any feelings for Luke. You’re just making things up because you are bored and need some excitement. Please go back to Olympus and meddle with someone else’s life,” you stated. You staggered to your feet dusting the sand off. 
Before you could walk away a bolt of pure energy hit you in your spine. You flew to your feet hitting the ground with a hard thud. In a blur your mother was standing proud above your feet - surrounded in a pink aura. 
“Luke Castellan, he will keep you safe - and you will keep him steady.” 
You might have thought to curse at her - but you couldn’t speak - let alone move. She had disappeared from vision leaving only a dove in her wake. The pain - was excruciating - like being electrocuted a million times. Your ears rang terrible tunes as you tried to level yourself - only to fall back down. The world was spinning at an unmeasurable pace. You could hear shrill screaming - or was it yours? You weren’t even sure who you were? Only images of dark curls, broad shoulders, and crooked smiles flashed through your vision. 
A quake of footsteps running towards the shore were felt as you thrashed in the sand. Voices - yelling a name - whose name? You couldn’t recall. All you knew was darkness. 
“Y/N?!” a feminine voice called. You could feel her hands shake your shoulder violently - it felt like knives.
You heard screams - this time knowing it was your shrill cry. You pushed her away with force. You backed away, crawling backwards in desperation. 
Once your vision returned you focused to see a swarm of kids all in orange shirts - staring at you in shock. The girl who touched you - you could only assume was kneeling in the sand in front of you. She seemed to be pleading.
“Stay away, please,” you pleaded with tears streaming from your eyes. You weren’t sure what had happened but you knew you had never felt pain so deeply. 
“Y/N, please you were screaming. We only want to make sure you are okay. We can go to the infirmary and figure it out,” the girl reached out only for you to retreat more. You hyperventilate on your own words. 
“What’s going on?” another voice asked with urgency from beyond the crowd.
Every child seemed to turn their attention to focus on the male figure. Pushing his way through the crowd - he became shocked at the scene before him.
However, you felt as if all the oxygen had left your body - leaving you limp. You felt as if a hand had grabbed your heart and ripped it in two. He was the one - the one you had seen in your visions. 
“Y/N?” he questioned - half concerned, half annoyed. His chocolate eyes seemed to lock ever so easily with yours. He was indeed the most beautiful man you had ever seen - like a carving of marble. Your soul ached. Without a thought - on instinct alone - you ran. He was engulfed in a desperate hug - his shoulder muffled your pitiful cries. 
“Please, you’re the only one who can help.” You could feel the eyes on the two of you - the gasps were hard to ignore. He went stiff in his posture - not sure how to react. Silence fell over the entire shore, only the crashing of waves in the background. 
“Y/N what is going on? Is this some sort of prank?” he asked in disbelief. 
He had never seen you like this - so scared. Some small part of him wanted to scoop you up, hold you tight, and tell you everything would be okay. He wanted to tell you how he would fix all your problems - just so he would never see you cry again. Although these feelings were so suppressed he restrained.
Gods you were beautiful. 
“I- I don’t know who Y/N is. I don’t know anyone. I don’t know me.” 
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h-grangerstudies · 10 days
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.⋆⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺⋆.
Lovesick & Lovelorn
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: You thought that Luke Castellan, your best friend, did not reciprocate your feelings for him. To cope, you wrote letters addressed to him and kept them in a box. What happens when one of your sisters finds it? Inspired by 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' (fluff, best friends to lovers; you thought it was unreciprocated feelings, happy ending).
Note: Ahh, I'm so happy the show got renewed for season 2.
Word count: 3.3k
You were deeply convinced your fate was tied to one with eternal lovelorn. 
Three years ago, you arrived at Camp Half-Blood and settled into the Hermes cabin before you were claimed by your Godly parent. It was there that you met Luke Castellan - one of your soon-to-be best friends. Though, you knew you were doomed from your first glance into his eyes. Then came his friendly smile and an offer of a handshake, where his hand engulfed yours.
At first, you thought that silly little crush would dissipate. But over time, as you became close friends with the Hermes cabin counselor, you were almost convinced he was faultless. You seemed to adore every little thing about him. Along with the fondness that grew in your heart was also self-pity. At one point, even looking at him hurt because you knew he did not return your feelings.
Hence, the letters.
In between your memories of Luke were letters you wrote throughout those years just to cope with the unreciprocated feeling. It was painful, but what else could you do? You truly believed confessing would put your friendship at risk. Neither did you feel like dealing with the heartache of a rejection. So you never uttered any of your feelings to him, continuing to imprint it on lined papers instead.
You scowled as the pen you were using ran out of ink, leaving the latest edition of unspoken words unfinished. Wordlessly, you fold the incomplete letter into an envelope and shove it into the turquoise box you bought while returning from a quest once. You neatly put the box under your bed.
“Y/N, it’s time to head out,” one of your sisters repeated. Two minutes ago, people were starting to leave, so those on cleaning duties could clean up your cabin. Since you were mid-writing, you hastily asked for a few more seconds. Now, you were the only one left besides two of your sisters.
“Yes, sorry,” you quickly muttered, exiting the cabin and almost immediately bumped into Luke. “Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked.
“I’m here for you. I thought we should hang out,” Luke answered ever so casually. Yet, your heart swelled at the thought that he was there for you. Before you could reply, you two were interrupted by another camper, who told you that one of your other best friends needed you and that it was an emergency.
“I’m so sorry, we’re gonna have to take a rain check on that hangout,” you informed Luke. You slowly started walking backward and away from him. “I’ll see you later, though?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Come find me whenever you’re done, yeah?” Luke requested, hoping to spend time with you later. His soft look made you pause mid-step, almost as if your foot had been cemented to the stones beneath. You nodded absentmindedly before snapping out of that state to comfort your friend.
After two hours of listening to your friend and comforting them, you finally left their cabin to search for Luke, who previously told you to find him after. However, around half an hour later, you slowly gave up at the thought of doing so, feeling almost defeated.
As you turned to head back to your cabin, you spotted the Hermes counselor exiting his. You called out his name, watching his back stiffen before he turned to you. You ignored the odd behavior and recalled, “I’m free now if you’re down to hang out.”
“I’m so sorry, but I’m really busy right now.”
“Uhm, well, I guess I’ll just meet you at our spot whenever you’re done then?” you suggested. You and Luke fell into a routine of star-gazing every night.
Laying under the dark sky that painted your whole horizon often made you feel small. But something about that was so calming, especially considering most of the time, you were suffocated by the weight and duties of being a Demigod. You wondered if it was the moment or if it was Luke’ presence that aided your momentary peace.
“I really, really can’t tonight, I have a lot of things to do.”
“Oh… that’s okay. I’ll see you around?” you replied, watching as Luke fidgeted and gulped while attempting to look normal. It was futile, really, because being best friends meant you could sense when the slightest thing was even off. He nodded, and you retreated to your cabin with thoughts swirling in your head.
Then came the next few torturous and confusing days. For the last two years, Luke would always approach you - almost daily, and vice versa. Being best friends with Luke has been wonderful. Every day together felt like a blessing.
Now, it seemed almost like he was avoiding you. He would find a new excuse whenever you approached. He wouldn’t even look in your direction. Yesterday, you made eye contact with him, and he turned away abruptly, facing his back towards you.
You had enough after day three. You went to your cabin after dinner and reached under your bed with one hand. You did not want to, but this would perhaps be your first-ever letter of anguish about Luke Castellan.
The box…where is the box?
You peered under your bed, mouth hanging open when your eyes could not spot it either. You looked up and around, hoping maybe you had misplaced it somewhere, even though part of you knew you had put it under your bed. You have always done so.
“Hey, have you seen a turquoise box?” you asked your sister as she walked by.
“Oh, the rectangle one, about this big?” your sister reconfirmed, using her hand to show you the size she indicated.
“Yes, that one.”
“Oh, I gave it to Luke.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I was cleaning the cabin three days ago, accidentally knocked it over and saw letters addressed to him. He was right by the door, so I thought maybe I should just deliver them to him.”
Blood drained from your face, and your heart plummeted. Anything else your sister seemed to be talking about started sounding like murmurs, and you could not focus on a word she was saying. Your worst nightmare seemed to have arrived. Somehow, your friendship with him had ended without you knowing. No wonder he has been avoiding you these past few days. He has read them all.
“I need to go,” you quickly muttered, storming out of your cabin. You could feel your body slightly shaking from the panic. No amount of Demigod training had prepared you for moments like these. Then you saw Luke walking over you…with the box in his hands. You took a deep breath and practically forced your voice box to work.
“Listen, Luke—”
“I didn’t think you’d buy birthday gifts that early, Y/N,” he interrupted.
“What?” you questioned and observed the sweet smile gracing his Adonis-like face.
“This?” he gestured to the box. “Your sister gave it to me and said it was from you. Though I thought I should give it back ‘cause it’s not my birthday yet, you might have wanted to give it to me yourself.”
“Oh…” it was the only thing you could utter as it dawned on you what he had perceived the situation as. “Wait, so you haven’t opened it?” you clarified.
“Nope.”
“...So we’re ok?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” your mouth hung slightly agape at his words. As you scrunch your eyebrows, you could see how his fingers fidget somewhat, almost as if he could tell you would bring his odd behavior up.
“You’ve been acting really odd the last few days, Luke. It had me worried. I thought I did something wrong. It seems like you were avoiding me.”
“I was just really busy with counselor duties,” he dismissed it. However, something about it made you a bit hesitant to believe his words. You did it anyway, nevertheless. You blamed it on your stupid heart.
“Yeah, but—” you stopped, not wanting to stir anything. “Ok then, I’m going to put this away, but I’ll see you later, yeah? Maybe we can finally not rain check again?” You hated how hopeful you sounded. You’re glad that the sun had set a few minutes ago, blessing you with enough degree of darkness to hide your facial expressions from being as evident as they would be in daylight.
“Of course, I’ll see you later, Y/N,” despite the dark and only dim lights from nearby, you noticed there was something different about him. Luke was wearing a nervous smile, almost sheepish like a schoolboy. There was a glimmer of amazement in his eyes like he was in disbelief. Though it was definitely overpowered by a glaring degree of warmth. He was looking at you like all those writers have written down in the books you have read before - something along the lines of adoration and love.
You shook those thoughts away again, refusing to somehow fool yourself into believing he could reciprocate those feelings.
“Yeah, see you,” you muttered, hand gripping tightly on the box as you took it from his hold. As soon as you reached your cabin, you opened the box to peer inside. You immediately sighed in relief upon seeing the copious amount of letters with your handwriting on them, all with Luke’s name on the front.
However, your eyes landed on one unfamiliar one. It had your name on it, written in a familiar wonky handwriting that you have always found endearing.
You sat on your bed, taking the letter out delicately, almost in disbelief. Then, dread overtook any other emotion. Was this Luke’s way of letting you down easy? By pretending to not have read any of your letters and rejecting you through the form that you express your love to him? — you had to physically shake your head at that thought.
You took the letter out of its envelope and started reading: 
‘Dear Y/N,
This is probably the 40th time I tried writing this letter. It feels impossible to try and convey everything onto one piece of paper.
You deserve someone to at least view you as their muse rather than always being the writer. 
Hence why, for the past few days, I had to physically drag myself away from you every time you tried approaching me because I knew if I didn’t, I would just end up spilling my feelings out right then. I knew if I even looked at you, I would have just abandoned this letter idea and run to you. You should have seen me yesterday. When we made eye contact, I had to turn away from you because having the knowledge of you liking me back was enough to knock all the air out of my lungs. I was a flustered mess from just that eye contact.
I doubt my words could rival what you have written about me. You once wrote how it hurts to love someone this much and to always be the poet but never the poem. Well, I’d like to thank you for making me your poems. However, now it is your turn. Allow me to be your poet.
You occupy my mind like it’s your castle. If I had to name everything I love about you, this letter would never end. But for starters, here are some of the first times:
The first time Chiron introduced you to the Hermes cabin, I could not take my eyes off you. Chris had to nudge me away. Just from that alone, a part of me knew I was in trouble. I think I came to the conclusion that I did not want to hold anybody else’s hand after just shaking yours.
2.5 years back during a campfire in June, even when the fire had died and the air grew cold, our voices still filled the air. Conversations just flow when I am with you. I remember never wanting that moment to end. Then you started talking about constellations and told me about the ones above us. Right there and then was the first time I had the urge to kiss you, and to show you that I was just as obsessed with you as you were with stars.
The first time I realized I was in love with you was while coming back from a quest 2 years ago. I remember feeling so numb coming back. The world almost seemed monotone, and I wondered for a second, what if I had made one wrong move? Just as I returned to camp, you bolted and hugged me. Somehow, it felt like I had just taken my first bit of fresh air after drowning for so long. I vividly recall shutting my eyes as I hugged you back because I felt like I was finally home. I remember never wanting to be away or out of your hold as others approached and rushed to get me into the infirmary for checkups.
It was only when I was lying on the infirmary bed that it hit me like a train that lost control. A large proportion of why I fought so hard was to come back to you. You’re my best friend, Y/N, and my place of solace and peace. Then came the realization that I was in love with you. I remember everybody else’s voice drowning out as I focused on that thought. It was strangely calming, as if my heart had known all along but was waiting for my head to catch up. Then I remember just smiling as I looked at the ceiling, unafraid of the new feeling.
Last year, the day we went on a quest together lapsed with Valentine’s Day. Every moment felt extra sweet. Us sitting on the train, staring outside the window together like a couple going on a trip. My mind savoured the small things like you falling asleep on my shoulder with my coat around you and us holding hands as we walked through the crowd to not get lost among couples - which I like to imagine that others had thought we were one as well. It was the first time I allowed myself to pretend this is how it would feel like if you were mine and how our lives together would be if we were not Demigods.
I thought for sure you would have realized something by the way I was staring and acting around you that I was irrevocably in love with you. After reading your letters, I realized that you did see it. But you refused to believe that I could ever be in love with you. Well, I hope my letters will reverse all your doubts, because Y/N, it is so easy to fall in love with you. 
In fact, the world I built up in my head during last year’s quest had consumed my thoughts enough to make me frown at the idea of returning to camp, where it would not just be the two of us anymore. Loving you has never been something I was afraid of. Loving you has been an honour every single day, even if you never knew of it. 
It’s also somewhat funny that I was heavily lovesick while you were lovelorn. But I promise, Y/N, that from this second on, I intend to make you know that you are loved and that I am so deeply in love with you.
Again, I never intended for you to wait for three days, but I ended up throwing away every letter I started because I felt like none had suffice. I didn’t want to mess it up and give you something less than you deserved. I wanted to do something nice for you. I promise I’ll make it up for those three days if you allow me to. But one chance is all I need.
If you are willing to give me that chance, you know where to find me.
Sincerely,
Luke Castellan’
Upon reading his last words, you immediately left your cabin with the letter in hand. You jogged to the spot where the two of you would always meet to stargaze together. Almost instantly, you saw his tall figure under the moonlight. As if he could sense your presence, the Hermes boy turned around and gave you a sweet smile.
“You meant it?” you asked as you raised the letter up, slowly approaching him.
“Every single word, including all the unspoken ones I intend on telling you from now on,” the way he said it felt like he was swearing it on his own heart. “In fact, I would have written more down, but I knew I was keeping you waiting for too long,” he explained as you stopped right before him.
Something about this moment felt cathartic. Three years of dancing around unspoken words and yearning led to this moment. Luke grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb over your knuckle. You peered up at him, and it was then that you finally accepted what his looks meant: he was in love with you, and there was no doubt about that. There was no more denial on your end that Luke Castellan was enamored with you.
“Will you let me be your poet, Y/N?” he breathlessly referenced the words you and him had both previously written like he had been waiting for this for a lifetime.
“Of course,” you answered almost without hesitation, watching his eyes soften even more, if possible.
“Is it ok if I ask you another question?” he asked again, his other hand caressing your cheek.
“Yeah?” Your face flushed as you saw his brown eyes dart to your lips.
“Can I kiss you?”
This time, you didn’t say anything. You’ve written down way too many words in the past three years. You decided actions would speak louder in this case. So you pulled Luke down by his camp necklace, hands gripping the beads on it as you tiptoed up to reach his lips. 
Luke physically melted as he brought one hand to your waist to hold you up as he leaned down from the height difference. Everything Luke had imagined before could not match the kiss he was finally sharing with you - the kiss that seemed to seal his lips into a spell that would forever leave them unable to belong to anyone else. It felt like heaven and hell combined because he knew that this was going to ruin him forever, and every second he spent with his eyes shut would be one where he had this feeling and moment sown behind his eyelids. 
You had the same line of thoughts. The wait was long, but you felt like it was worth it. Under the stars, you may feel small. But standing there next to Luke, you finally realize it doesn’t matter. Because he was holding you like you were the only thing that mattered.
You were his sun, moon, and everything in between - no constellations could ever measure to you.
--------------------
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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AWWWW WAIT HEYYYYY
hiiii hana my beloved 🥰🥰🥰
a @h-grangerstudies appreciation post because val should always be appreciated.
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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ASAWHSKJAWHLKAHWLW WHAT I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY???
OH MY GOSHHHH VAL WHAT
AND HAPPY VALENTINES
OH MY GOSH
you have to tell me ALL about this boy RIGHT NOW. ARE WE SERIOUSLY IN THE SAME BOAT RIGHT NOW??? ARE WE REALLY BOTH LIKE. ON THE BRINK OF DATING THE PERSON WE LIKE ????????????????? WHAT'S GOING ON ???????????
I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL
I MISS YOU WAHATLHWAWATLHATWL
NOOOO I STARTED TO ANSWER THIS A WHILE AGO AND I DIDNT SAVE IT TO DRAFTS ARE YOU KIDDING ME
okay okay. yes!! we were!! 👀👀 now you have to tell me all about this boy of yours
pretty boy is so kind. he’s aaahhhhhhh he stopped by just earlier because he was out running errands. and i love seeing him and his pretty face and talking to him. i’m so happy all the time. even when i’m not happy, he’s a safe space? honestly i’m so ridiculously happy. atm our relationship is on the down low because of surrounding circumstances that would ensue but mannnnn
he’s warmth personified. literally the embodiment of a really nice, really needed, really really good hug. and his smile?!? HIS EYES!!!!! i’m so into him, idk if i can explain it. he also makes sure i take care of myself and wtv 🙄🙄 (🥰🥰)
i’m doing so well, minus the homework i’m procrastinating on rn. this is more important, clearly. i miss you too!!
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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its blurry cuz my ipad glitched halfway thru but!!
OH MY GOD ITS GORGEOUS
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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Hi Val !! 🙈 (happy Valentine’s Day btw)
hi kaillei!! have valentine’s day! how are you? doing well, i hope!!
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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happy valentine’s day, my love
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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hana you’re so smart for that one
happy valentine’s day!! my lovely lovely love
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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VAL FILL ME IN ON WHAT HAPPENED 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️
OKAYOKAY OKAY ITS KIND OF A LOT
but it’s okay i’m quitting these rhetorical devices theyre just ugh
so me and this really pretty boy have known/known of each other since late elementary school, we went to the same school. we weren’t close until last november, when we got each other’s numbers and talked a lot. he’s a really really kind guy, so i OH LOOK HE JUST TEXTED ME MMMMMM
we’re sort of a thing right now. in a strange turn of event in which he helped me out of an uncomfortable situation with a kid who was really coming on strong to me. fake dating au!? it’s still kinda secret, it’s kinda all i ever thing about. we hold hands and say nice things and look at eachother and get ice cream and have i mentioned he’s so smart? and pretty? and my valentine?
there’s a lot of things and i would like to tell you everything but!! i do have this rhetorical device quiz next hour so… 😔😔
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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Hey it's me your valentine<3 Hope you're having an amazing day. Are you a skz stan 👀 because I am too!!! What are your favorite music artists? And what's your favorite color? Sending you lots of love and good vibes!!
hi!! happy valentine’s day!!
i am having wonderful day, im so sorry to be getting back to you late. how are you? having a wonderful valentine’s day? you deserve it!
i do stan skz! as well as nct, enhyphen, txt, monstax, eric nam, itzy, twice… please, let’s exchange music!! i’m really not picky, even outside of kpop lol
i love the color green! especially paired with beige or white. what’s yours??
thank you very much my valentine, sending you best vibes <3
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY VALLL
HI SHAYYYYYY THANK YOUUUU
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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val u should check ur tags
VALE HOLY SHIT–
first i got scared because i forgot how to check tags and THEN I SAW YOUR GIFT AND IM SOOOOOOOOI IN LOVE (with you 😍😍)
vale come here so i can kiss you 😾
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGOODNESS
VALE
THANK YOU LOVE I CANT– IM STILL SCREAMING ARE YOU SERIOUS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, ITS MY FAVORITE
THANK YOUUUUUU I DONT DESERVE YOUR KINDNESS OH MY LORD LOOK I–
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@h-grangerstudies HAPPY BIRTHDAY VAL BABY ill post a colored/touched up version tomorrow but for now i wanted u to wake up to surprise.... hehe....
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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val my beutoful angel. i will make u sometbjing.
VALE MY GODDESS WHOM I LOVE AND WORSHIP
you gotta sleep a little love, but yes i eagerly await anything you wanna make me
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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THANK YOU VALE LOVEEEE AHHHHH THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUUUU
HAPPY VAL DAY HAPPY VAL DAY !!!!!!!!! @h-grangerstudies HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAE
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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AAKSHDJSJ IM SCREAMING CRYING NO WAY IS GODDESS VALE SAYING THIS ABOUT ME
VAL IM GONNA START SCREAMING AND CRYIFN UR SO ADORABLE
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h-grangerstudies · 2 years
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it’s 6:57 pm and iwaizumi’s room is scattered with papers. a mixture of you, iwaizumi’s, and oikawa’s names cover them along with dozens of red marks indicating incorrect answers. the debate between the three of you as to whether or not x equals 2 or 17 is cut short when the door swings open, revealing a small woman holding a plate of fruit and crackers.
“hajime, i brought you and- oh tooru you’re here too!” her eyes flicker as a mischievous grin takes over her lips. “i thought it was just you two… i’ll be going now!” her giggle fills the room as she wiggles her eyebrows at her son, which earns her an infamous iwaizumi glare.
oikawa interrupts the silence that follows the absence of iwaizumi’s mother, stuffing his face with grapes and muttering a barely comprehensible, “what was that about?” 
papers crinkle when iwaizumi begins busying himself to avoid your gaze. he crushes used sheets, scribbles on new ones as if he’s actually working, and rearranges his pencils before grumbling. “she thinks we’re dating.” you don’t miss the way his eyes quickly widen and cheeks flush when he changes the subject. what he doesn’t know is his fumbling distracted oikawa, not you. but second year finals are more important than what just happened, and you return to your studies.
Keep reading
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