growingupmormon

[growingupmormon]

never thought I'd be coping with my religious trauma by hyperfixating on biblical characters, and yet, here we are

[growingupmormon]

Helping my parents clean out the attic and finding my parents temple garments

My mom: You can’t donate this without going to hell right? But I’m not putting it back in there

#former mormon #lds #exmo #exmormon #mormon #apostake #ex mormon #apostate #mormons #church #ex lds #ex cult #religion #cult #fomo #ex mo #former lds #exlds #formermormon #wtf

[growingupmormon]

Sometimes I see stories, both irl and fictional media, where a queer and/or trans person comes out to their parents and receives unconditional love and support and I just get so sad. My widowed mom is so heavily religious, being mormon is her entire life, her family is mormon, all her friends are mormon, her sense of identity is so heavily rooted in being mormon... She knows i'm trans and queer, she thinks i'm choosing to be. She thinks that "choice" means I'm choosing to reject "the truth" of her religion. She has shown me quite clearly that mormonism is more important to her than who I really am. I see accepting parents in media and i kind of want to cry. Why couldn't i have that? Why does she love the so called "gospel" more than me

[growingupmormon]

Thinking about how people used to ask me why I was so mad all the time and it was because my resting pose was folding my arms. Like prayer. And when I would explain this to non-members they would be SO CONFUSED because nobody else prays like that. Does anyone know where the Mormon praying pose comes from?

[growingupmormon]

did any other exmos growing up get told that drinking coffee was a sin because “hot drinks are not for the stomach nor the mind” or something like that and then they’d hand out hot chocolate

[growingupmormon]

As someone raised Mormon... It's so weird that the criticism people always jump to first is "it's weird that Mormons can't drink coffee!"

Like... Who cares about THAT? Shouldn't you be more worried about, I don't know, covering up the sex crimes? Or the acute racism? Lots of religions have dietary restrictions.

Idk. I still don't drink much coffee, even after leaving the church 10 years ago. I don't drink alcohol at all. The dietary restrictions were never the problem.

[growingupmormon]

Me “I come from a big family”

Co-worker “Catholic?”

Me “No”

My brain: they know they know they know, oh shit

#former mormon #lds #exmo #exmormon #mormon #apostake #ex mormon #apostate #mormons #church

[growingupmormon]

My mom “I’m sorry I ever made you go to church”

#former mormon #lds #exmo #exmormon #mormon #apostake #ex mormon #apostate #mormons #church #ex cult

[growingupmormon]

Church teachers sending kids to the hall for asking too many questions same as god did with Lucifer

Me hanging with Lucifer in the “hall”

Did I spell that wrong?

#former mormon #lds #exmo #exmormon #mormon #apostake #ex mormon #apostate #mormons #church #exmormons #ex cult #formerlds #ex lds

[growingupmormon]

Adult: I think you should pray on that

7yo me: but that only makes you feel better about not knowing, it doesn’t actually answer the questions

Adult:

#former mormon #lds #exmo #exmormon #mormon #apostake #ex mormon #apostate #mormons #church #ex cult #exmormons #ex lds #conformist culture

[growingupmormon]

“What do you think this means?” Me as a child actually interested in what they had to say because the way I learned was having lots of information and deciding which bits I liked from all the ideas

Adult: I think you should pray on that so you can decide what YOU think

Me:

#former mormon #lds #exmo #exmormon #mormon #apostake #ex mormon #apostate #mormons #church #exmormons #ex lds #ex cult

[growingupmormon]

Ending up reading my BOM because it was all I had with me

Me sitting in the church hallway after being sent out of class for asking too many questions

#ex cult #religion #cult #exlds #formermormon #wtf #fomo #former mormons #exmormons #ex mormons #ex mormon #exmo #former mormon

[growingupmormon]

Me sitting in the church hallway after being sent out of class for asking too many questions

#former mormon #lds #exmo #exmormon #mormon #apostake #ex mormon #apostate #mormons #church #pimo #ex mo #ex lds #former lds

[growingupmormon]

I literally just picked up hell followed with us by Andrew Joseph White, and literally straight out of the gate

uughhh

[growingupmormon]

I find it so funny when mormons try to say “I hate gay people” without actually saying it

[growingupmormon]

I hadn’t realized how absolutely foreign a concept living for yourself is, as someone who was raised as a woman in Mormonism. Until I’ve. Started trying to rearrange my life to optimize tasks for my own windows of energy, my own interests, my own emotional stamina. And the whole damn time I go “but what about so and so, they need me at x time” and you know what? I’m tired. I’m so damn tired of being told my entire worth is based around making other people better. About how well I can take care of children (age wise and maturity wise — you’d best believe I’ve dated a whole string of man children because of this shit), how well I can maintain a home for the eyes and use of others, how I can be attractive but in a way that men don’t feel bad looking, that my entire worth as a human being is based around making others feel good.

And so I have to go, no.

It’s not selfish to exist as a person, and then for other people in the leftover spaces.

That’s what everyone else does. That’s what healthy people do.

You’re not taking from people. You’re taking back what you were coerced to giving in the first place.

(Note: I am a transmasc person; I’m not a woman. He/it/they pronouns.)

[growingupmormon]

Me in high school trying to regulate my emotions being PIMO

#mormon #exmormon #apostake #ex mormon #exmo #lds #former mormon #apostate #mormons #church #ex lds #exlds #ex cult #exmo things #exmo stuff #pimo