goldstarsappho

[goldstarsappho]

[src]

#atla

[goldstarsappho]

less “therapy is for everyone!” more advice on how to recognize when therapy is helping you and when it is harming you, more educating people on their rights and what they can do when their rights have been violated, more advice on navigating finding a therapist that isn’t only applicable to private practice situations

less “don’t forget to take your meds!” more sharing of studies on the effects of psychiatric medication (wanted and unwanted/positive and negative), more discussion of how to document your experiences on medications so you can understand how they are effecting you, more support for people struggling to navigate getting prescribed/using/going off of psychiatric medication

less “always reblog the suicide hotline!“ more sharing information on what happens if you do actually call one of these lines (i.e. will they send the cops to your house), more teaching individuals and communities how to help someone in crisis without involving police or hospitalization, more open discussions of how to share what we feel and make others feel seen, understood, and supported when it comes to extremely difficult feelings and situations

#mental health #anti psychiatry #therapy critical

[goldstarsappho]

#anti psychiatry

[goldstarsappho]

I have to laugh when people plaster suicide hotline numbers and go “well, mental health awareness achieved!” Thank you for referring me to the checklist readers who call the cops on you if you’re honest with them

#anti psychiatry

[goldstarsappho]

"cavity searches"/"strip searches" are institutionalized sexual assault (in hospital AND prison contexts) and it blows my mind that i (and most others who have been institutionalized) was gaslit into believing that this is a dramatic take.

if you can't "keep people safe" without sexually assaulting them, you fix the resources and structures available, you don't accept the inevitability of assault.

#anti psychiatry

[goldstarsappho]

You see people being like “women looooooved corsets they were so convenient [which is why women stopped wearing them!], acting like they were bad is like acting like bras are bad.”

Uh, bras are bad!

corset stans are literally out of their minds. fully delusional. a youtube costumer is not a fucking historian LMAO

[goldstarsappho]

OP added:

is your whole blog really about shitting on women who went through the trauma of comphet? Did you never get pressured to sleep with men or even feminine men? If you don’t have the trauma of what I’ve been through then don’t make assumptions lmao. This is just sad. I’m glad you never experienced the gross putrid touch of a male but making assumptions and claims about lesbians who have just doesn’t help anyone besides your own ego. Maybe don’t shit on traumatized women luv

No, my whole blog is about defending lesbian spaces and boundaries from our oppressors, particularly those who appropriate our identity and use that to push their way into our spaces. (Also about period dramas.)

If you did indeed look at my ~whole blog you’d know that I have 10000% been through more pressure to conform to heterosexuality and more trauma related to my inability to do that than any Western tumblr user, given that I literally went to prison for homosexuality where I endured life-threatening torture daily for years. To my knowledge I’m the sole living survivor of the prison camp I was held in. 

Despite the extreme costs of being a homosexual in my country, I literally had no choice but to be one. I was born gay, it’s literally in my DNA and my biology. I was physically not capable of being anything other than a homosexual. People like me (that is to say, homosexuals) are fundamentally, biologically different from people who are capable of being with the opposite sex. Terms like lesbian are ours, not yours. 

[goldstarsappho]

I've noticed even since the creator of the "comphet masterdoc" came out as bi, fauxbians are still trying to justify it by saying "well sure it contains some bisexual experiences, but it still really resonates with lesbians and helps people realize they are lesbians" and I guess other fauxbians are eating it up. I don't know whether to laugh or cry

They'll make literally any leap of logic necessary to justify continuing to insert themselves into lesbian spaces and to continue appropriating the identity of the very people they oppress.

#comphet #lesbian #wlw #compulsory heterosexuality #sapphic

[goldstarsappho]

the weird thing about comphet is that these girls who have trauma from men truly believe that their trauma won’t show up when they date women and it’ll be a healthy happy relationship

you still have unresolved trauma, that doesn’t go away just because you’re not dating the group of people that hurt you

#literally these people idealize lesbian relationships so much #to the point of literally acting like they aren't real romantic relationships

[goldstarsappho]

OP replied “it’s from a lesbian singer singing about comphet! Ig context matters a lot lol”

But it’s clearly not a lesbian singer if she’s literally singing about having sex with men. Comphet isn’t a lesbian experience, and actual homosexual women don’t have sex with men.

[goldstarsappho]

I am actually from a Muslim-majority country in Asia where it’s a crime, punishable by death, to be homosexual, and I’ve actually spent time in prison for being gay. My romantic partner was hanged. 

It was still an option for me to be homosexual. Indeed, it was the only option, because that’s actually how I was born. It was biological. I wasn’t physically capable of being in a hetero relationship or of kissing or having sex with a man. It wasn’t an option for the literally hundreds of other homosexuals I knew or knew of in my country. That’s why we were imprisoned and tortured and killed. We literally couldn’t hide it, we didn’t have the option.

There’s no culture and no country where homosexuality does not exist or is not an option. Genuine homosexuals are born everywhere on Earth, and live and die as homosexuals. 

growing up as a lesbian woc

the gold star lesbian discourse around comphet is really …. something

i just wanted to give my two cents as 2nd gen immigrant and woc. In my culture, and many of our families (mine being West Asian) being queer is genuinely not an option, whether that be because of years colonialism stripping us of queer history, religion’s impact, or both. It still stands that being queer is unacceptable or unheard of. I was always curious about queer history in the Western Asia, and would ask if we had any queer folks/suspected queer folks in my family, I was told “that doesn’t exist in our race/ethnic group”.

We not only aren’t allowed to exist, we aren’t expected to.

I grew up not even knowing I could be lesbian. I tried my hardest to like men, I never noticed any feelings I had for women. If I liked a girl, it was because I wanted to be friends with pretty people “that’s normal” i thought, everyone wants pretty friends. At one point I was 12 and I remember being jealous of this girls dog because I thought “he gets to spend time with her” …. and I still didn’t put it together. I went years picking crushes, telling people I liked certain guys, to the point where I started believing it and getting anxious around them. I would mistake my literal anxiety for feelings.

When I was 14 I decided, okay I have to be asexual, because I just don’t feel attracted to men, and being with them sexually disgusts me. However, I thought, “I like YA novels with these straight couples, so that must mean I can romantically like men, if not sexually”. Again being attracted to women never came to my mind, it just wasn’t a part of my reality. But interestingly, I remember I would wish I liked women, I thought “life would be easier if I liked girls”, because I genuinely was terrified of the notion of even having to eventually spend my life with a man (as was expected of me).

Still I would force myself to flirt with guys, I remember my first kiss (after having run away from and dodged every single other guy that had tried). The kiss felt like nothing, so boring, I thought “why do people like doing this”. Starting from that point on, my high school experience was me getting drunk going to parties and trying to see if I could feel attraction to men. Drink after drink, nothing made a difference— I could not bring myself to kiss another guy again. So I led people on, faked crushes based on conventional attractiveness, felt nervous around said “crushes”.

I was inexplicably lonely in my experience.

I remember once at an all girls party when I was 17 and sober, I really had the urge to kiss this girl, I just wanted to be near her. When I heard her compliment me, it made me feel something for the first time in my life. And do you know what came to my mind? “I must be really lonely, I need a boyfriend”.

I didn’t realize I was a lesbian until I moved out at the age of 20, fell in love with a woman I didn’t realize I had feeling for until my heart was absolutely broken.

Anyways, I find it extremely unfair to say that lesbians that experienced comphet through perceived crushes on men, are “fake” lesbians. Our expierences are not the same because our lives are not, our cultures are not. The Lesbian masterdoc genuinely helped me put the pieces together, so even shitting on it irks me (* clarification, you can have issues w it but to discard how much it has helped people is ?). Not every single lesbian’s experience is going to be the same.

(disclaimer: when i mention option, it in no way means being queer or lesbian is a choice, i mean it in the context of being queer not existing within our reality ie being told and taught that being queer is a western concept. many of us are raised believing the only thing that exists is heterosexuality which plays into us not being able to understand our feelings towards women ie thinking or even contemplating that we are gay, is not an option).

[goldstarsappho]

Why is this in the lesbian tag? I literally cannot think of anything more het-attracted than sleeping with a guy.

[goldstarsappho]

This is what genuine insanity sounds like. Imagine literally being attracted to the opposite sex and saying it just doesn’t count because it’s not “real attraction.” 

why do you identify as a lesbian if you’ve had serious physical attraction to famous men?

Comphet. attraction to famous and fictional men doesn't count as real attraction because they are completely unattainable. I identify as a lesbian because I am a lesbian, I'm physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to women and nblw but not men.

I'm also assuming you're asking cause you've seen my post about it but let me just tell you that was a while ago and my attraction has changed.

[goldstarsappho]

Anon is so smart and based for this ask.

so if you have a crush on an unattainable woman, does it not count? do celebrity crushes on women not count? by your logic that’s fake attraction

Lmao it's entirely different because I have genuine attraction to women and not to men. But I literally don't have to explain my attraction to women to you, a stranger on the internet, for my sexuality to be valid lol.

Mind your own business next time? I know my sexuality and don't need you trying to invalidate me or trying to disprove my "logic"

#comphet

[goldstarsappho]

You’re definitely bisexual or straight, not a lesbian. Actual homosexual girls don’t want to have a boyfriend or get crushes on boys. An actual lesbian girl in your position would have wanted to have a girlfriend and gotten crushes on girls even if she thought one couldn’t ever love her.

comphet is probably the worst feeling EVERRR!!! I just want to be happy and okay with my sexuality without having to second guess myself and wonder if I still like guys just because I want attention from them and how i’ve always wanted a bf but never had one bc i was always overweight as a child and thought no one could ever love me bc the one time i had a crush on a guy he embarrassed me and made fun of my weight in front of the whole class.

[goldstarsappho]

A question to the crowd

If some gay men CAN like trans men, what term is there for those who CANNOT

What term means exclusive same-sex attraction? What word means “this man cannot like trans men, cis women, afabs, females, etc.”?

What word means “this person is only attracted to the same sex, only ever will be, and nothing can change that”

Because saying that “some gay men CAN like trans men doesn’t mean anyone HAS to” doesn’t solve this issue

You have erased the ability for us to speak on exclusive same-sex attraction with the words created by and for exclusively same-sex attracted persons. Answer for that choice and how it hurts gay men and women

#homophobia

[goldstarsappho]

“Ever since I was a child, I felt like greatness was in store for me. A great life, I felt. Like God himself had spat me forth to land on this Earth and in some way transform it. That I was here for a reason, a purpose.”

#the great