you have to stop biting the hand that feeds you. go for the neck
19K notes
·
View notes
Plot twist: the two boys you're choosing between are polyamorous, but they also hate eachother's guts so you still have to pick one
62K notes
·
View notes
have you ever thought about entering into a cat show?
with THIS?????
10K notes
·
View notes
My mom is waxing poetic about cheese tonight
12K notes
·
View notes
*in the 2020s* he would do numbers on twitter
*in the 2010s* he would get shares on his blog
*in the 1990s* he would be a wiz on the multi-user dungeon
*in the 1950s* he would get ratings on the television
*in the 1930s* he would command the masses on the radio
*in the 1880s* he would do dots and dashes on the telegram
*in the 1790s* he would do arm signals on the semaphore
*in the 1600s* his prints would be distributed widely
*in the 1400s* he would sound the trumpet in battle
*in the 700s* his words would be passed down by oral tradition
*in the 300s* he would do smoke signals in the sky
*in the neolithic* his artifacts would enter the archeological record
*in the pliocene* his bones would be preserved in the sediment
*in the mezozoic* he would do permineralization in mineral rich groundwater
*in the paleoarchean* he would facilitate recombination of his genome
*in the hadean* his molecules would self replicate in the early ocean
*in the matter dominated era* his stellar nursery would collapse into a star and an orbiting cloud of dust
*in the cosmological dark ages* quantum fluctuations in his density would form the first cosmological structures
*10^-32 seconds after the big bang* his elementary particles would dominate in baryogenesis
*in the plank epoch* he would do cosmic inflation in the energy dense early universe
*10^-43 seconds after the big bang* he would be
17K notes
·
View notes
I'd be running up that road
Be running up that hill
With no problems
1K notes
·
View notes
i invented a machine that transcribes the inner thoughts of oysters and it turns out the first oyster i tested it on was thinking like "beautiful human woman riding a bike i am the bike i am the bike"and i tested it on more oysters and it was all "delicious sediment" "my mucous membrane itchy" "i wish to digest particles" so i guess that one guy was just real horny
16K notes
·
View notes
i’m so glad i’m coming back to tumblr and seeing that there are more autistic nancy wheeler truthers out there than there was before i left :’)
1 note
·
View note
Writing a novel when you imagine all you stories in film format is hard because there’s really no written equivalent of “lens flare” or “slow motion montage backed by Gregorian choir”
159K notes
·
View notes
19K notes
·
View notes
WRITE IT!!! WRITE THAT SELF INDULGENT SHIT!!!
22K notes
·
View notes
hey fellow artists I know that we all want to create huge beautiful peices with dynamic poses all the time but sometimes you just gotta draw a guy just kinda standing there. For your mental health I guess.
17K notes
·
View notes
Ao3 writer curse is real, everyone. I decided to start writing fanfic again, only to cough up blood and break a blood vessel in my eye. You have been warned.
6 notes
·
View notes
"But why would you want to imagine, read or write about a relationship that wasn't healthy, good or desirable to you personally?"
I genuinely don't know how to explain the concept of fiction to you.
15K notes
·
View notes
43K notes
·
View notes
nancy wheeler likes women i just know it happy pride
4K notes
·
View notes
16K notes
·
View notes