All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
-Richard Adams
I watched Watership Down (1978) as I was sketching rabbits for Easter, but instead of that I was really loving the movie and ended up with this. I instantly wanted to do the little rabbit with the visions being trapped in this world where only the toughest rabbits are on top, yet he's more in touch with his surroundings, feeling everything deeply. Also wanted to include the really awesome sun, within it their tunnels and the teeth to represent not only their predators, but more of the fighting between the different rabbit groups.
I was waiting for a call and thought I could do something productive instead of just stressing about it, but I couldn't focus on a specific thing so I did the "just draw random lines" thing and ended up with this oddly shaped blob of nervious pus.
This is so random and chaotic. I hate it for that, but it is a very clear representation of how I have been feeling lately. It seems like I fall into questioning my existence more and more with each year passing by. And you would think that this would inspire me to create more and it used to be like that. Now it's just stress, binding me to only think about surviving trough another month. Art used to be the thing to relieve stress now that it is my only financial float it's.. a love hate relationship. I imagined myself finishing my art major so I could work in an artsy place, go home and continue drawing, making stickers, shirts, doing a few commissions and attending art shows. Well it's been 3 years. I keep trying, but most places don't even write back. I try to get a cleaning job, they don't need "over qualified" people. I hope this doesn't come across as a pity party for myself, it's not I just need to vent and I do think it's important to show the ugly side of being a "full time artist" it's not just doodling in coffee shops and making aesthetic packing videos for everyone.
I gave myself a challenge in the beginning of the year to fill a slice every month with relevant things that were happening or just general vibes atm. And well I kept going until July where I didn't finish the piece so I left it semi unfinished and the black part is 2 months of me not touching this at all so when I came back to it I thought I would leave it black and it's very annoying to look at, but it's also kind of there to show me how I set myself up to do something and didn't. Bitter sweet end of the challenge and I'm just sad it's not a circle so it would atleast look like a pizza.