giveninservice

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me: really wants to rp and do replies and has a million and three ideas

also me: gets really fucking overwhelmed every time i go to do any of the above things 

#ooc #help

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Steve Rogers isn't old or dead or on the moon, he's actually living under the pseudonym of Grant Stevens and starring as the lead role in Rogers the Musical. Numerous people have commented on how much he looks like Steve but he just shrugs and smiles and says something about genetics. Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes frequently go to see the show and heckle the lead character but never seem to get thrown out for some reason. Some people swear they've seen Natasha Romanoff there as well but never more than once.

#yes

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dropping out of my depression funk to say that Sam and Bucky totally go to see Rogers the Musical and are essentially Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets, no I don’t take any criticism

#ooc #crack

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SERGEANT BARNES
 1942 → 2024

#muse

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Thoughts on What If episode one beneath the cut

Ahhhhh

i’m so bi

Peggy Carter could toss me off a motorbike and honestly I’d thank her

I spent the entire episode wondering why Steve sounded so familiar only to find out he’s voiced by the same voice actor who voices Major Ocelot in MGS3

RIP Colonel Phillips

only question: why does Bucky have his blue coat in Azzano he’s not meant to have that yet

but i guess that means he didn’t get experimented on in this universe

Dum Dum I love you

I adore how you could clearly see in the animation the moment Bucky was like “oh god that’s my idiot what the ACTUAL FUCK STEVE” when the Hydra Stomper arrived

“Barnes stole a jeep.”

Like Bucky just steals a car and gets away with it

Thank you What If for showing us that James Buchanan Barnes is just as much a chaotic being as Steven Grant Rogers

Also i am absolutely here for the absolute sheer chaos that is a friendship between Howard and Bucky

Peggy and Bucky working together is all my dreams come true

“Maybe you’re just afraid of trains” ouch what a fucking burn

“You nearly pulled my arm off” always too soon

I gotta say, Red Skull summoning Cthulhu was not what I was expecting from this episode but I have never been more delighted that when he got bitch slapped against a wall by a tentacle

Howard joining this mission in legit his shirt and tie what a complete disaster

all the little jabs at TFA in general were just great

so if Peggy came through the portal instead of Loki does that mean the whole plotline of the Avengers doesn’t happen in this universe? 

Clint Barton Captain Carter fanboy confirmed

WHAT HAPPENED TO STEVE AND BUCKY AFTER PEGGY WENT THROUGH THE PORTAL I NEED DETAILS

Overall i loved it. Would have loved to have seen a little more Steve and Bucky, but given they only had 30 minutes and it was an episode about Peggy i completely get why it didn’t have that

#what if spoilers #ooc

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“Can’t say I’ve had much of a chance for any sort of fancy spa session between being Zola’s personal pin cushion and coming over here,” Bucky muttered, half to himself, pulling his jacket a little tighter around himself. It wasn’t cold, but ever since Azzano, he’d found he had considerable difficulty staying warm.

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“You here to tell me I should take a nap?” he quipped, but his heart wasn’t in the joke, his shoulders slumping a little as he knocked back the remaining whiskey in his glass. Of course no one else had noticed, because he hadn’t wanted them to notice. Steve was still too buzzed on actually being out here that he hadn’t seen it. Or maybe he hadn’t wanted to see it.

“Of course not. You’re a grown man,” she said, taking another sip. Without staring, she kept watch, studying the lines of his face. “You know your own mind.” Peggy took a bigger drink. “But I do hope you’re remembering to take care of yourself.”

#ofgunsandlipstick #v: right hand man

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“I don’t...don’t even know if he got out,” Bucky mumbled with a frown. He hadn’t looked as they’d made their march back, too focused on putting on foot in front of the other and not throwing up, Why hadn’t he checked? What if the kid hadn’t made it out, if they’d hurt him?

“Don’t even know how long I was on tha’ table...” he continued mumbling, tucking himself into Steve’s side and pressing into the warmth, eyes half glazed over, “Just hurt...kept hurting...worse than anythin’...so scared...thought I’d never see you again...”

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“Thought I was gonna die there,” Bucky blurted out, unable to keep the words behind his teeth as he huddled into Steve, a slight shiver running down his spine. Every day he’d woken on that lab table, he’d been convinced that it would be the day he would die. When they pumped what felt like fire, then like ice through his veins, and he screamed himself raw. And all he could think about was how he was leaving Steve.

Maybe that was what had helped him cling on.

“Before…before the lab…they weren’t gonna take me, they were gonna take one of the other guys…just a kid, he was only sixteen and I couldn’t let them take him down there Stevie…so I caused a fuss…” he rambled, remembering how he’d made a racket, how Zola’s beady eyes had turned to him with a look of interest, how he’d been dragged off then.

Steve’s stomach turns fully upside down and then twists into a knot like a fisherman’s rope when he listens to Bucky talk. But even as dread fills him when he imagines what Bucky is describing, he also feels a huge amount of pride. It was such a Bucky thing to do, to put himself on the line, to protect someone who needed it. Steve could still only aspire to be like him.

“Christ, you’re the bravest man I know, Buck.” He says and it’s completely and utterly genuine, nothing but awed honesty. He leans closer, squeezes Bucky lightly with the arm he has around him.

#starshieldrogers #v: right hand man

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He’s clinging to her like a child, he knows, like he’s still the scuff-kneed and gap-toothed little squirt from Brooklyn who’d tug his sisters’ pigtails, but still sometimes sneak into his parents’ bed when he had a nightmare. He’s so tired, and so wrung out, and more likely than not he’ll not want to remember this ever happened once he gets through it, won’t want to admit this moment of weakness.

But for now he’s in it.

She says they won’t leave him, but he knows it’s lies. Oh, sure, they might stay for now. But time will pass and something will happen and then he’ll lose them and he’ll be alone all over again. In times like this, part of him almost craves the forgetting, the cryo. If he can’t remember, then it can’t hurt him, he can just be blissfully blank.

She’s pulling him down now, tucking him into her as they lie side by side on the bed, and the tears still run silently down his cheeks, dampening the pillow. He tucks his head underneath her chin, hiding his face in her shoulder.

“I want my ma...” 

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He was jealous, he had to admit it. The idea that Steve got to go home, that he got to live the perfect life with the perfect girl, all cosy and happy, the real American dream. It wasn’t that he thought Steve didn’t deserve that, lord, if anybody deserved it, it was definitely Steve. But Bucky…from the moment he’d shipped out in ‘43, he’d dreamed of coming home. He’d been offered the chance of an honourable discharge after Azzano, but he’d turned it down. He couldn’t leave Steve. 

But he’d missed home so much. He’d kept photos in his jacket pocket, of his ma, his sisters, his pa, god rest his soul. He’d always taken them out before he’d slept, studying their faces, their smiles, saying goodnight in a way. And then the train had happened, and HYDRA had happened, and by the time he knew who he was again…

Well, Becca had been the only one left, old and frail, and even then he’d had barely a year with her before she’d left him too. What he wouldn’t give to tease her before a school dance again, to braid Lizzie’s hair, to read Gracie a story. He’d give anything to feel his ma’s hug again.

“Everybody leaves…”

Her arms stay tight around him, trying to keep her own breathing steady as she attempted to comfort him.  It wasn’t fair.   It wasn’t just, and it never would be.  Bucky deserved to go home after the war.  He did more than enough, and he deserved to have a life that didn’t involve all of this chaos and destruction.  He deserved to have what Steve did...and there weren’t words to describe how sorry she was that all of that was taken so violently from him.  It wasn’t fair.  

Fingers from one hand gently smooth through his hair, thumb brushing softly above as Sharon held him close.  His words cause her to take a sharp breath, her arms squeezing him even tighter for a moment before shaking her head, and pressing another kiss against the side of his head.  

“We won’t,”  Sharon promised, her voice barely above a whisper.  “I won’t.  I’m staying right here with you- always.  So will Sam.  There’s nothing you, or anyone else, can do to change that.  You’re stuck with us…we’re here.  We’ll always be here.”

The agent lets a few more moments pass before pulling away slightly, moving her hands to his face.  “C’mon...lay down with me.  You don’t have to sleep but you need to rest...I’ll stay with you…c’mon.”  Her movements are slow, gently laying him fully down on her mattress, her eyes and touch are soft- careful not to force anything.  Once he was down on the pillow, she quickly moved next to him, an arm once again wrapping around him as she pulled him against her.  “I’ve got you Buck…I’ve got you.”

#youxmove #v: the world has changed

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“A little advance warning next time?”

Bucky quirked an eyebrow, letting her haul him to his feet as if he weighed nothing. Hell, he probably felt like he weighed nothing to her, he’d seen her toss cars. Not that that was attractive. No, not in the slightest. Dusting himself off from his involuntary contact with the ground, he shook his head clear of the ringing in his ears.

“Well, job well done I guess.”

@giveninservice​ / captain carter.

In a smooth motion, Peggy kicks the edge of her shield, sending it flying upwards and into her arm. It’s just another day for Captain Carter and her Howling Commandos, cutting a clean line through HYDRA’s toughest defenses. This most recent ambush had involved a rather large explosion as the finale, and Peggy had just noticed that Bucky had been knocked to the ground, and so she extended a gloved hand, lifting him to his feet. 

“Not bad, Barnes,” she offered, her smile teasing. 

#xagentcarter #v: captain carter

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“I’ll drink to that,” Bucky smiled softly. Especially as, given from what he’d seen of Peggy, she seemed to have no qualms about making herself heard, whether people wanted to listen or not. He respected that, “A bit like my sister, Becca. Back in fifth grade, I heard that some snot-nosed kid was pickin’ on her, so I gave him a bit of a dressing down. Big brother and all. At least till she kneed me in the balls for acting for her.”

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“Ah, so you’re the baby of the family,” his eyes crinkle a little, gently teasing, but in no way malicious. He’d only been the baby of his family for three years before Becca had been born, and from then on he’d been on big brother duty. Not that he minded, he loved being a big brother.

Peggy couldn’t help but laugh at his teasing. “Yes, the precious little baby of the family.” She confirmed, keeping a smirk on her features. “I must admit that pretty much everyone didn’t want me to join the army. They expected me to quickly get married instead, but… let’s say my brother convinced me to do what I wanted to.” Things were more complicated than that, but that would do for now. 

#marvclsiums #v: right hand man

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Bucky let Steve manhandle him, pulling him up into whatever position he wanted him. He needed...he needed Steve, needed him so badly, and when the hand wrapped around his cock he cried out, the sound dissolving into a choked whine as Steve worked two fingers inside him, Bucky instantly trying to push back onto them desperately.

💃 Pull my muse onto a dance floor/up to dance (Steve)

“You’re a punk.”

Bucky had to laugh as Steve pulled him up to dance, stifling a smile the entire time. It reminded him of back when they were kids, when he’d hauled Steve to just about every dance within a close enough radius, insisted they practice beforehand, even though they just ended up stepping on each others feet and dying of laughter.

#heroesfromtheashes #nsfw #v: happily ever after

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Bucky quickly dropped into sleep, and this time thankfully it was both peaceful and restful, without dreams of any kind. When he woke in the morning, he was still curled in his boyfriend’s arms, tucked under his chin and he smiled sleepily, giving him a little squeeze.

😴 Stand by the bed to see if my muse will let you under the covers with them (whichever muse)

“Why are you standing there like a kicked puppy? Are you getting in or not, Rogers?”

#heroesfromtheashes #v: happily ever after

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A bigger nest, yes. He’d need more pillows, and cushions, and of course at least half of Steve’s wardrobe would be going into it, to make sure that it always smelt like his Alpha, even when Steve himself wasn’t there. It would be perfect. Bucky purred at the gentle rubbing of his stomach, rejoicing in the joy in Steve’s voice, “Could phone Bruce later.”

'I want a baby' (for Steve)

Steve blinked at Bucky, stunned. “Um... Buck... did I hear you right? You want a baby?” @giveninservice

#heroesfromtheashes #v: abo

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“Eat...shit...”

Serum...Bucky had figured they’d been pumping something into his bloodstream, even from the time back in Azzano. He’d never said to Steve, but he’d noted on more than one occasion how he’d been able to go for longer, sleep for less, how wounds healed quicker than they should have. He’d hoped he’d been imagining things.

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“Good morning, my asset. Are you ready for your treatments?”

#hailhydrasheads #v: dying is easy living is harder

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brb dying over that first episode of What If

#animated and still confirmed i am hella bi #i am still about on here i promise #job has just been kicking my butt #come scream with me

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What If…? (2021) dir. Bryan Andrews – 1.01 - What If… Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?

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Even though the movement was gentle and careful, he couldn’t help but tense as he was guided towards a quieter, more out of the way part of the exhibit. Logically he knew that Steve was unlikely to hurt him, and certainly not in public, but he had too many memories building up of harsh touches from the past seven decades that he couldn’t stop himself from hunching in on himself.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, ducking his head, almost like a child apologising for a wrongdoing. He wanted to remember, wanted to remember so badly, but it was so difficult. He was terrified that he might never remember, that HYDRA had truly stolen it all from him and destroyed it, as opposed to just being locked away.

Blue grey eyes looked up at the taller man warily. Something in the back of his brain registered that feeling as odd, telling him that he’d spent far more time looking down at this man than up, even if he couldn’t remember it. In truth, most of his memories that he’d managed to claw back, Steve looked nothing like this, save for one (”I thought you were dead.” “I thought you were smaller.”) What he could remember of him was small, skinny, all bony edges and bruises and angles.

Frowning a little, he barely registered Steve’s words properly, giving a shrug before slipping both hands, gloved so as to hide the metal arm, from his pockets. Brow furrowing, he raised them towards Steve’s face, pressing lightly around his jaw, obscuring part of it to his vision. With a slight tilt of his head, he could see it, that skinny boy with a penchant for trouble.

“There you are.”

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The familiar prickle at the back of his neck was clue enough that somebody was watching him, following him, and one of his hands, stuffed into the pocket of the raggedy sweatshirt that he’d stolen from a supermarket, closed around a small pocket knife, tense. This was his own fault, he’d let himself fall into a pattern.

The voice that follows, oddly enough, relieves a little bit of the tension, but not by much. He’d known that Captain America Steve Rogers was following him. Of course he is, stupid little punk never knew when to quit his brain whispered, even though he had no idea where it was coming from. 

The problem is that Steve wants Bucky.

He wasn’t Bucky, not anymore, hadn’t been in a long time. If he concentrated, he could get flashes, figments of memories, of feelings, but every time he tried to reach for something solid, it slipped through his fingers. He couldn’t be what Steve wanted, couldn’t be the friend he’d lost. 

He doesn’t know though, what else Steve wants from him. Would he bring him in? He doesn’t know. His brain is a mess, and it makes his head pound with pain, and his left shoulder aches something fierce, the metal arm weighing down the joint, pulling at the broken skin. It had taken him over a week to figure out how to feed himself. HYDRA hadn’t needed a self-sufficient asset. They’d pumped him full of god knows what, wiped him and frozen him, time and again.

He’s a wreck.

“I’m not…” he starts, and his voice is raspy from disuse, quiet and uncertain, and he swallows roughly, “I’m not him.”

While his disguise somehow did offer him a shield from eager onlookers and even the paparazzi, he felt it was more important for the one he faced now to see him for who he is. Taking off the hat and glasses, he stuffed both carelessly into a jacket pocket. 

Hearing those words coming from Bucky hurt more than he thought was possible, like swallowing hot lead that made his stomach drop. 

Brows knit, he stared at the man for a moment before letting out a breath that he hasn’t realized he had been holding before quickly stepping forward, and pushing the other man and himself into a darker side–not a corner–out of the way of the most conspicuous display in the museum of Captain America’s story so that they can hopefully talk in peace.

“That’s fine.” He swallowed, hard; it was a lie but he’s determined to keep up the façade. However, Steve does know better than to expect the man who’s been brain washed for so long to be the long lost best friend that he has missed every day and he knows better than to expect Bucky to remember their shared past as he did.

Still. Steve wanted him safe and wanted to lend a hand where he can. It’s the least he can do for him for all the years he had looked after the skinny Steve who couldn’t even breathe correctly.

 “You don’t have to be. I just want to make sure you’re doing.. okay.”

#todowhatwasright #v: till the end of the line