girlitsokaytobesad

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by Vasily Yakovlev

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I trust the timing of my life

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QUESTIONS WE SHOULD PERIODICALLY ASK:

How have I dis/honored myself as of late?

How am I giving away my power? To who/what?

Am I living according to my own integrity?

What do I dislike in others? How does that show up within me?

What does self-neglect look like in my life?

Which attitudes do I hold about myself? how do the people I attract help perpetuate them?

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Evolving into the healthiest, prettiest, most confident version of myself.

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Artwork Copyright © Tyler Spangler

Shop: ShopTylerSpangler.com

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april is providing harmony, warmth, joy, love, adventure, miracles, wealth, friendship, serendipity, peace, protection, encouragement, bravery, passion, revival, wonder, good fortune and desired opportunities.

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✨Just keep moving forward✨

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playlist by yours truly🤍

#Spotify #hip hop #ariana grande #rap #music #relaxing music #r&b singer #calm #mac miller #brent faiyaz #giveon #mine

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here you can find my diary entries. it gets personal and may be triggering at times.

#daily diary #personal #relationships #mine

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let me tell you a little bit... well a lot a bit about me. i made this page in hopes to help or at least make someone else feel like they’re not alone. i’m 24, i’ll be 25 in october. from the age of 16 to 21, i was in a VERY toxic relationship. i was, and still am, madly in love with him. as a teen, having those kind of feelings for someone was so intense. i’m a very passionate person. i love hard. i’m loyal. i go above and beyond for the people i care about. anyways. he was an alcoholic, unfaithful, and physically/emotionally/and verbally abusive. all five years that we were together, i can’t even begin to count how many times i was cheated on. that’s assuming i know of every single time. after about four years, i could no longer be intimate with him. it hurt physically. i would tense up, i wouldn’t get wet, i just couldn’t do it. i thought something was wrong with me. but something was wrong with the relationship. that whole year, i already had the idea of “if he’s not getting it from me, he’s getting it somewhere else” and as fucked up as it is, i was okay with it. because i convinced myself it was my fault i couldn’t have sex. we finally ended things. almost EXACTLY two years later, he came back into my life. i was over the moon. he apologized, we hung out, and within two days i was hooked. back in the same cycle. i was falling for him all over again. being convinced he was a changed person. convinced i was finally going to have my happy ending with him. third day..... he told me he just wanted to be friends and that it was too much for him. within three days. my heart shattered all over again. i’ll admit, the first couple of days and more on into the first week, i saw all the red flags and decided to ignore them and to not be “crazy”. there was another girl. and i knew it. long story short, he said there wasn’t another girl, i brought up the name, he still said no, and then a couple months later i played out a joke to trap him into telling the truth. he wasn’t changed. he was the same. since august of 2020, i’ve been a mess. i came to the conclusion that i never healed. and now i’m going to. as long as this was, that was the condensed version.

now aside from my relationship life, i have some other things i deal with on a daily. i have emetophobia(extreme fear of vomiting), leading to having disordered eating(like ARFID-avoidance/restrictive food intake disorder-) causing me to lose weight/stay at a very low weight, anxiety, and depression. all of which control my whole life. i’m ready to change that.

in conclusion, that’s why i made this page. we’re going on a journey. i want life to be enjoyable. and for anyone else going through something, i want life to be enjoyable for you too.

#relationship #emetophobia #realignment #psychology #trauma #its okay to be sad #anxiety #depression #we got this #welcome #new friends #connection #mine