fynnichi

[fynnichi]

Hehehe shar ks

[fynnichi]

year of the bunny!

[fynnichi]

breathe in the wild 🌿

print available here

[fynnichi]

[fynnichi]

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.

[fynnichi]

[fynnichi]

[fynnichi]

mob, mob! 

[fynnichi]

🐱🐥

[fynnichi]

Yearning

This suffocating feeling...as if someone was hugging you from behind and holding you close..slowly working their way up to your neck and carefully pressing their hands onto them. With every second, you'll get less and less air, you feel your blood rushing through your body and a piercing sound ringing in your ears...but it feels too good to fight back, since that would also mean to lose the comfort of their physical touch.

#sick #depression #anxiety #mental health #diary #fynnichi #yearning #love #lovesick #sadness

[fynnichi]

feeling very mmmmmmmmmm *phases out of existence*

[fynnichi]

[fynnichi]

do you ever sit with a group of people and not say anything for  the entire time so theres no reason for you to be there youre just awkwardly listening to people converse while doing your own thing and wondering how its so easy for them to just talk or why its so hard for you to say anything

[fynnichi]

[fynnichi]

[fynnichi]

I want to tell you how much I miss you, but I know that even if I did it wouldn’t make a difference

[fynnichi]

“The beautiful thing about love is that it makes you better even when everything in your life seems to be getting worse. It makes you smile even when you don’t have any reason to be happy at all except for the feeling that someone is there for you in the coldest winters and the harshest falls. Love is beautiful because it makes you believe that even when you are in darkness, there’s always this choice to pay attention to the stars.”

— Juansen Dizon