frustratedcupcake

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“We try to hide our feelings but we forget our eyes speak.”

— Unknown

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"Families are homes built on a foundation of trust and love. A toxic family can never be a home, because the foundation doesn't exist."

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Will forever be jealous of people who have a healthy relationship with their parents and siblings like damn wish that could be me

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How to recognize when you need to set a boundary

Physical signs of your body telling you "no":

Bile in your throat

Panic

freeze response aka frozen or paralyzed w fear

Heart paced real fast

Anxiety

Unsettled stomach/gut feeling

Head fuzzy

Head & chest feels tight

Face might scrunch up in disgust/disbelief/pain etc

"ick" or "ew"

fainting or feeling weak as a result

crying

feeling like hurting yourself

cheeks hot, face flushed (embarrassment out of fear or humiliation)

fight/flight/freeze/fawn response gets triggered

body feels "charged" or "activated"

wanting to yell or shout back

wanting to run away

wanting to hide

wanting to stuff yourself with food/substances/alcohol etc to numb the pain

heart feels heavy or pounds at awkward intervals

not being able to eat

head shakes "no"

backing away

asking or screaming for help

feeling scared

feeling "on alert"

not knowing what to say

arms protecting yourself

not being able to move

Emotional signs that you are not safe:

Unsettling environment

Fawning aka "going with what they want" even if you don't feel good about it

Uncomfortable

Knowing the other person doesn't like it when you express things different from their own beliefs

Knowing if you spoke up you would be either mocked or downplayed or told you're being too sensitive

Being told you're "disrespectful" or "not allowed" to talk back or disagree in any way

Being told you're too chicken or being forced to feel dumb or stupid if you don't join in

Being openly mocked or talked about by the whole group

Expressing a concern and they get mad at you for being mad at them

You're always the one in the wrong even when you were the one being hurt

They use grandiose words and phrases to assert dominance

"walking on eggshells"

They continue to do the things you asked them to stop doing even after countless times asking them

They don't care about how you feel

They make no effort to acknowledge your feelings or acknowledge how their behavior is affecting you

They force you to participate in drugs/alcohol

They hold their power and good deeds they have done for you over your head and threaten to stop helping or support you or even take back what they have given you

They are physically aggressive/ violent

Rage

Rage during substance use

Touching you without asking

Downplaying anything you need as not important

What to do:

Take a deep breath

Take your time figuring it out

Remind yourself this isn't your fault

Stay focused on the behavior- because they WILL try to detract from it & turn it around on you

Gather your resources

Consider leaving or cutting contact

Consider therapy or online support groups to help yourself breathe and find safer spaces for yourself

Have an exit plan

Do not engage with the arguments & emotional bait

Cultivate your privacy

Cultivate your security

Cultivate yourself a safe space

Prepare yourself for the backlash

Ask someone safe to go with you

Call someone safe and ask them to stay on the phone with you if you do not feel safe

Self defense tools like pepper spray & brass knuckles

Know you're worth the exit

Take yourself seriously when they dont

Honor the gut feelings

Restore faith in your judgement

Honor your voice

Honor your body

Honor your "no"

Ask for a pause- "I need a break."

Ask for clarity- "Can you clarify that?"

Ask what their intentions are- "Are you being helpful or hurtful?"

Bring attention to the behavior and how it's making you feel- "I'm not comfortable with the way you're ignoring my concerns."

Make direct eye contact & deepen your voice- "You need to stop."

Do not apologize

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps!

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

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girls be like “fighting demons😤🤪” and the demons be their moms

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“𝑁𝑜 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑑𝑜 𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑏𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑜 𝑞𝑢𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑜𝑠, 𝑐𝑢𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑎 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑖ó𝑛 𝑎𝑙 𝑛𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑠 𝑔𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑟”.

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“ DIE IN L.A ’’’

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by the time you’re 25 you should know what substance you’re going to abuse forever

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Credit/Source

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近藍蓋小菇 Mycena Subcyanocephala fungi translates to the "blue-head" and measures at only a single millimeter.

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Tumpak Sewu, also known as the

"Thousand Waterfalls,"

is a maiestic natural wonder nestled in the enchanting region of East Java, Indonesia. Located near the slopes of Mount Semeru, the highest volcano on the island of Java, Tumpak Sewu is a breathtaking cascade of waterfalls that captivates visitors with its sheer beauty and grandeur 🌲🌊 !.

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Fagradalsfjall, Icaland 2021 l jvn.photo

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