fruitgoat

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My specialty at work (eg, what I tend to get thrown into) is wrangling clever but extremely poorly behaved children. (The children are adolescent, but children nonetheless.) They tend to be boys. They tend to have ADHD. (It's possible that the focus on the clever rules out the ADHD girls, who have cleverly developed better masking skills by adolescence.)

The current bright and terrible-on-purpose disaster, A, is aware of the ADHD diagnosis but has apparently been told nothing about the disability. So a lot of our conversations go like this:

Me: Well, I'd ask you why you decided to start making richly detailed but extremely inappropriate jokes during class, but I'm pretty sure the answer is that someone started yelling at you for doing it before you realized that you were.

A, leaning backward, looking concerned: Are you following me?

Me: Yes, that's what I do with the spare time I don't have during the day, follow aggravating children around. We have so few of them here.

A, put out either because I've called him aggravating or because he's not special and aggravating: Sarcasm isn't very nice, Ms. T.

Me, sarcastically: I'm so sorry. Maybe you looked at the work first, thought boring, and then decided to be an enormous brat.

A: You can read minds?!

--

Me: Clearly we need executive dysfunction strategies for you, because if we don't get in front of it you'll be an adult who sits on their sofa for forty minutes yelling at herself to do the dishes and never does them.

A, trying to politely muffle laughter: Are you doing all right, Ms. T?

Me: Out of dishes, but fine. What's working in your classes? Your Literature grade is good, why are you doing the reading?

A looks left. Right. Up. At his phone.

Me: ... You aren't doing the reading, are you? The other kids ask questions because they don't understand it, and you figure out what it has to be about from the answers and never read.

A: Are you in my Lit class??

--

Me: Okay, look, ADHD brains are weird, and we tend to get them from our families, so these -

A, immediately: My dad.

Me, derailed from my drug interaction speech: Yeah, okay. When your dad has coffee, does he get calmer?

A, backing away: You're stalking my whole family now?!

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"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

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graph of what being hungry is like with adhd

#adhdragons!

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Self care is writing fan fiction that you are the sole target audience for.

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I have a disorder that makes me want to headcanon every nonhuman character with the ability to purr regardless if it makes sense for their kind or not. It's called being right. With enough research i could justify a tree purring if i wanted to

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A recent cartoon for New Scientist.

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last night I had a dream that I met Bill and Ted, and I complimented Bills crop top and said something about how I would wear crop tops if my body was less bogus and he put a hand on my shoulder and said “what’s truly bogus is the way you think about yourself” and Ted nodded solemnly and then I woke up

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You've heard of OTPs and NoTPs, now get ready for...

WOAH-TPs, pairings you never considered but now ship.

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bathtub in château laurens, france

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today i learned how they vaccinate sheep and OH MJY TGOD

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youre telling me a ham fisted this metaphor??

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i hate being an adult because no matter how hard you try your house is never ever ever ever ever clean