Sometimes love is just a lockpick who has a problem with smiling and a tightrope walker with knives
185 notes
Β·
View notes
Isabelle: You clothes look gay.
Alec: YEAH?! I hope so. Because my clothes are gay. If I am wearing them, they are gay. Gay by association.
Magnus: They came out of the closet this morning, what had you expect?
107 notes
Β·
View notes
Jason: Are you okay?? Why are you crying??!!
Nico: I am having an allergic reaction.
Jason: To what?
Nico: .......LIFE
74 notes
Β·
View notes
βOh, Magnus!β Ragnor wailed. βThatβs disgusting! How could you? Have you lost your mind?β
βWhat?β Magnus asked again.
βWe agreed eighteen was the cutoff age,β said Ragnor. βYou, I, and Catarina made a vow.β
βA vβ Oh, wait. You think Iβm dating Raphael?β Magnus asked. βRaphael? Thatβs ridiculous. Thatβsββ
βThatβs the most revolting idea Iβve ever heard.β
Raphaelβs voice rang out to the ceiling. Probably people in the street could hear him.
~Raphael Santiago, Saving Raphael Santiago, The Bane ChroniclesΒ
@cassandraclare
44 notes
Β·
View notes
Magnus: Why did the duck cross the road?
Jace: Why?
Magnus: To visit you of course...
Jace: Shut up.
Magnus: Knock knock
Jace: Whoβs there?
Magnus, with innocent puppy eyes: The duck!!
Jace: Listen here you mother-
31 notes
Β·
View notes
Clary: Your plan is never gonna work, its insane.
Jace: You call it crazy, we call it a Friday!
Alec: Its a Monday man
Jace: Is it really? I have lost track of time, its all so crazy.
42 notes
Β·
View notes
Isabelle: This is a DISASTER!!! The printer messed up the invitation! Itβs supposed to sayΒ βMagnusβs birthdayβ
Simon: What does it say now?
Clary: It saysΒ βMagnusβs biβ
Alec: Wait, that works tooβ¦
61 notes
Β·
View notes
Demon: We have your boyfriend.
Izzy: I donβt have a boyfriend.
Demon: He made us revaluate our life choices and now we feel really bad so can you come pick him up?
Izzy: By the angel, you have Simon!!
Demon: I am going to be a lyricist.Β
134 notes
Β·
View notes
Jace: I have a plan.
Alec: Does it involve us not getting in trouble?
Jace : *stares at Alec for 10 minutes*
Jace: I said I had a plan. Not a miracle.
133 notes
Β·
View notes
Hazel, about Nico: He likes mysterious boys.
*later*
Nico: Where are we going?
Will: Its none of your fucking business!!
32 notes
Β·
View notes
Magnus : Can Β I call you Angel?
Β Alec : Of course! You can call me whatever you want.Β
Magnus: Sweet. I am calling you husband.Β
Alec:...NOW WAIT HERE YOUβ
18 notes
Β·
View notes