Tumgik
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 2 years
Text
Sometimes love is just a lockpick who has a problem with smiling and a tightrope walker with knives
185 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Isabelle: You clothes look gay.
Alec: YEAH?! I hope so. Because my clothes are gay. If I am wearing them, they are gay. Gay by association.
Magnus: They came out of the closet this morning, what had you expect?
107 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Jason: Are you okay?? Why are you crying??!!
Nico: I am having an allergic reaction.
Jason: To what?
Nico: .......LIFE
74 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Jace: [throws the door open looking panicked]
Alec: What did you do?
Jace: Nobody died.
Alec: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT ?!
49 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Magnus: I am gonna eat healthy food from now on.
Magnus:
also Magnus: Eats hot cheetos for breakfast.
24 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
β€œOh, Magnus!” Ragnor wailed. β€œThat’s disgusting! How could you? Have you lost your mind?”
β€œWhat?” Magnus asked again.
β€œWe agreed eighteen was the cutoff age,” said Ragnor. β€œYou, I, and Catarina made a vow.”
β€œA vβ€” Oh, wait. You think I’m dating Raphael?” Magnus asked. β€œRaphael? That’s ridiculous. That’s—”
β€œThat’s the most revolting idea I’ve ever heard.”
Raphael’s voice rang out to the ceiling. Probably people in the street could hear him.
~Raphael Santiago, Saving Raphael Santiago, The Bane ChroniclesΒ 
@cassandraclare
44 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Magnus: Why did the duck cross the road?
Jace: Why?
Magnus: To visit you of course...
Jace: Shut up.
Magnus: Knock knock
Jace: Who’s there?
Magnus, with innocent puppy eyes: The duck!!
Jace: Listen here you mother-
31 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Clary: Your plan is never gonna work, its insane.
Jace: You call it crazy, we call it a Friday!
Alec: Its a Monday man
Jace: Is it really? I have lost track of time, its all so crazy.
42 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Isabelle: This is a DISASTER!!! The printer messed up the invitation! It’s supposed to sayΒ β€œMagnus’s birthday”
Simon: What does it say now?
Clary: It saysΒ β€œMagnus’s bi”
Alec: Wait, that works too…
61 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Magnus: What are you allergic to?
Alec: I am allergic to spiders, Clary, and human emotions
47 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Demon: We have your boyfriend.
Izzy: I don’t have a boyfriend.
Demon: He made us revaluate our life choices and now we feel really bad so can you come pick him up?
Izzy: By the angel, you have Simon!!
Demon: I am going to be a lyricist.Β 
134 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Jace: I have a plan.
Alec: Does it involve us not getting in trouble?
Jace : *stares at Alec for 10 minutes*
Jace: I said I had a plan. Not a miracle.
133 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Hazel, about Nico: He likes mysterious boys.
*later*
Nico: Where are we going?
Will: Its none of your fucking business!!
32 notes Β· View notes
freakedoutshadowhunter Β· 3 years
Text
Magnus : Can Β I call you Angel?
Β Alec : Of course! You can call me whatever you want.Β 
Magnus: Sweet. I am calling you husband.Β 
Alec:...NOW WAIT HERE YOU–
18 notes Β· View notes