fallenoutoflove

[fallenoutoflove]

You like my blog?? I bet you can’t even name 3 of my deep-rooted personal issues

[fallenoutoflove]

went on someone’s blog who didn’t post in over a year and their last post was about getting married. like your marriage is more important than posting on tumblr? grow up

[fallenoutoflove]

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

[fallenoutoflove]

It’s kinda funny that I stayed alive for one thing and that things being taken away lmao.

#me #ally #yknow it’s kinda fucked no one checks in #lmao #my moms concerned but also trying not to be #my dad said ok #friends ignored it #justin thinks kids are always an option and that i can handle miscarriages or ectopic pregnancies #when in fact #I prefer to just not be alive #no one is gonna understand anyway lmao

[fallenoutoflove]

[fallenoutoflove]

Yo en este momento

[fallenoutoflove]

I was with them and yet I was alone.

— Albert Camus

[fallenoutoflove]

If I ever actually offed myself I’d bet it would be 100% to spite my mom.

It’s crazy the thoughts she has now versus when she was being fake supportive during my “real” depressive episodes in teen hood. (Thank god she doesn’t see me actively know)

#like how can you genuinely say things I did like fave pick #or cut #was for attention lol #even if it was don’t you think it’s YOUR attention I needed mom? #Jesus Christ #when do I catch a break #and she wonders why I don’t come back at holidays #sucks cause I miss my pets a lot #I don’t think I’d genuinely driven home if it wasn’t for them

[fallenoutoflove]

What’s wild is what kept me alive as a teen was the possibility to have children. I loved kids, I loved my little brother so much. Those were my two big reasons to not committing suicide, as I wanted one more than life itself. Now, I have a huge cyst on my fallopian tube and potentially ovary. I was made aware if I do get surgery it increases my chance for an ectopic pregnancy and I also would have the chance of losing the tube and the ovary. (Thank god women have 2)

And my brother and I aren’t as close now that he’s a little man living life. Funny how life works, staying around till you’re ready to have kids and now I have a huge cyst impacting that.

#truly if Justin didn’t show me traveling and that the world had a lot out there #I prob would’ve popped my self the other day lmao #I ain’t down for a lifetime of reoccurring cysts #it’s like a softball inside of me #how can that be good for the tissue and womb #ectopic pregnancy #me #ally #yikes

[fallenoutoflove]

It’s crazy- my entire life I wasn’t allowed to complain of pain, even now my moms like- maybe a doctor should explain it to you better (she worked in a gyno office 20 years ago so shits out dated as fuck)

Fun fact- period pain IS NOT NORMAL. And often displays symptoms of something else going on.

Me to my mom: I’m throwing up from how bad my cramps are now that I’m off the pill.

Her: yeah they are bad cause you’re coming off.

Me:no they are bad because for the past 13 years it’s masked the symptoms…?

Her:no

Also her on the weekend: you picked your face for attention as a teenager.

Me: BRUH WHAT. I was literally diagnosed with ocd and dermatillomania. Why would I want to have scars on my face for the next 20 years?

Her:idk you tell me?

DO NOT EVER let someone tell you your pain isn’t real. For years I didn’t know I had torn ligaments because my mom thought every thing I did was for attention. This is a form of abuse.

#me #ally #rant #mom #health care #pain #pissed off #fuck this #I will never treat my kids like this #if I have any that is #endometriosis #dermatillomania #girl #pms #hurt

[fallenoutoflove]

[fallenoutoflove]

[fallenoutoflove]

[fallenoutoflove]

[fallenoutoflove]

ever since i was a little girl i wanted to waste all of my potential

[fallenoutoflove]

tested positive for needing a kiss

#a real fucking secy #passion induced one #let’s be real I’d love to makeout with a stranger tinder boy again

[fallenoutoflove]

ⓘ This user is desperate for hot makeout sessions w inappropriate touching