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fallenoutoflove · 12 days
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What’s wild is what kept me alive as a teen was the possibility to have children. I loved kids, I loved my little brother so much. Those were my two big reasons to not committing suicide, as I wanted one more than life itself. Now, I have a huge cyst on my fallopian tube and potentially ovary. I was made aware if I do get surgery it increases my chance for an ectopic pregnancy and I also would have the chance of losing the tube and the ovary. (Thank god women have 2)
And my brother and I aren’t as close now that he’s a little man living life. Funny how life works, staying around till you’re ready to have kids and now I have a huge cyst impacting that.
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fallenoutoflove · 20 days
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It’s crazy- my entire life I wasn’t allowed to complain of pain, even now my moms like- maybe a doctor should explain it to you better (she worked in a gyno office 20 years ago so shits out dated as fuck)
Fun fact- period pain IS NOT NORMAL. And often displays symptoms of something else going on.
Me to my mom: I’m throwing up from how bad my cramps are now that I’m off the pill.
Her: yeah they are bad cause you’re coming off.
Me:no they are bad because for the past 13 years it’s masked the symptoms…?
Her:no
Also her on the weekend: you picked your face for attention as a teenager.
Me: BRUH WHAT. I was literally diagnosed with ocd and dermatillomania. Why would I want to have scars on my face for the next 20 years?
Her:idk you tell me?
DO NOT EVER let someone tell you your pain isn’t real. For years I didn’t know I had torn ligaments because my mom thought every thing I did was for attention. This is a form of abuse.
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fallenoutoflove · 2 months
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fallenoutoflove · 2 months
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fallenoutoflove · 2 months
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fallenoutoflove · 2 months
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fallenoutoflove · 3 months
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ever since i was a little girl i wanted to waste all of my potential
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fallenoutoflove · 3 months
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tested positive for needing a kiss
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fallenoutoflove · 3 months
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ⓘ This user is desperate for hot makeout sessions w inappropriate touching
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fallenoutoflove · 3 months
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Still facts, still relevant.
I think as humans we need to remember most people we pass by have went through an absurd amount of trauma for them to act how they act. You got bullied in high school by someone? well maybe they were touched by a family member and they don’t know how to socially act and have anger? You see a young kid stealing at a store? Well maybe their mom put her financial burden on the child so hard they felt they needed to. You don’t get along with someone because you think their views are different? Well maybe they grew up in a highly religious household and are trying to branch out of the intense views they were raised in and don’t know how to act in a social setting.
Be kind to people, forgive. Trust that people weren’t born bad and accept that yes bad things can happen because someone treated you that way and you may hold trauma associated to them for years, but also trust that they too probably went through a lot in ways we wouldn’t understand.
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fallenoutoflove · 3 months
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Sorry haven’t been on tumblr for awhile, it reminds me that people have great sex lives and I do not so I’ve avoided tumblr like the plague.
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fallenoutoflove · 4 months
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fallenoutoflove · 4 months
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The worst part of healing is you feel like you’re good, you feel like you moved on from the shit when you were a young child and thought it all happened because you weren’t old enough to know better, to say no, stand up for yourself, but then into your adult hood you can’t tell stop either. You get brought back to feeling like the little 12 or 14 year old girl I was when I was raped. Sure something as innocent seeming as this grey area that happened isn’t the same physically, but mentally it brought me back to that place of being pathetic, weak. And I hate this shit.
one of the things i hate about trauma is the flashbacks when you’re finally feeling like you’re healing. then the dreams start up all over again. then you’re left wanting to tear the skin off your body so they would have never touched you at all.
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fallenoutoflove · 4 months
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it’s getting harder to keep myself alive
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fallenoutoflove · 4 months
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I kinda wanna fuckin die tbh
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fallenoutoflove · 4 months
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Truthfully I thought I’d get sexually harassed at work massaging people before getting sexually assaulted on a massage table tbh.
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fallenoutoflove · 4 months
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I push people away as a challenge to see if they will stay no matter what
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