exn0bis - Tumblr blog

exn0bis · 5 days

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Catch me standing in our kitchen at 4am in the dark in my underwear just shoveling salsa into my face because God GOD it so good

I am disgustingly obsessed with the fresh homemade salsa our local mexican joint makes oh my god

#im having a religious experience with this salsa

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exn0bis · 5 days

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I am disgustingly obsessed with the fresh homemade salsa our local mexican joint makes oh my god

#my delicate mayonnaise taste buds are screaming and i do NOT CARE i am INHALING this it is the nectar of GODS

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exn0bis · 5 days

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Unmute !

#very good noises yes #no cat on this planet actually makes a noise like “meow”#video tag

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exn0bis · 5 days

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Extremely generic, typical isekai anime where the main character is a high school boy who's so good at video games in his day-to-day life, but people don't respect gamers :( so he's a loser :( ...until he ends up isekai'd into a fantasy world that RUNS on video game logic.

Except this main character is a speed runner.

World record holding speed runner.

Elf-woman in the introductory episode shares the long, sad history of her realm at odds with the Demon Lord and his reign. She looks up just as she's about to describe the moment the Demon Lord killed her husband, and main character is... gone.

Several many fields away.

Naked as the day god made him because equipping the intro clothes takes 3 seconds between menu opening and character re-rendering.

The Wall of the Unfathomable, which has sealed these villagers within their own walls for generations unknown, sees its first breach in a millennium as Main Character scales it ass-backwards clipping and ragdolling up its scaffolding by abusing the collision detection logic and its impact on speed reversal.

NPCs launch into speeches which bewilder and confuse even them because they should NOT be saying anything about the deep sacred mana that can defeat the Dark Demon Lord but the fucker standing in front of him in tighty-whiteys with a level 99 helmet and the Hero Sceptor (which he should NOT have yet but) is compelling the NPC for reasons they cannot begin to comprehend.

The Demon Lord is alerted by holographic message from his most trusted underling that some disturbance has just rippled through from Elf Realm and that some portal may have just opened from the human world, which warrants some caution as the prophesied hero is said to--cut off by the MC catapulting past all 18 floors of Demon Tower security using the infinite speed jump glitch and one-shotting the Demon Lord with a single rag-doll spastic thrust through his heart which launches the Demon Lord along with MC into a 500mph spiral into the stratosphere... And somewhere, the end credits play.

#this is fantastic I'll have to read these

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exn0bis · 5 days

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taylor swift fans are so scary it's like i'm in the truman show. watching taylor swift fans talk about how she soo gets neurospicy mental illness grippy sock vacation is exactly how truman felt when his wife started advertising coffee or something to nobody in particular

#oh my god this is it #you finally put words to it for me thank you it is EXACTLY like the truman show oh my god

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exn0bis · 10 days

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#i can ride a bike & i can ride a horse #and i have ridden a horse #tho i learned english style and these days I think I'd prefer to ride western 🤔#at the polls

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exn0bis · 15 days

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Eid Mubarak, I love you all, may we witness a free Palestine within our lifetimes inshallah

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exn0bis · 15 days

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guy who has chronic pain and fatigue: man why can't i do more stuff

#hey now

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exn0bis · 18 days

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Ooh I'm finally free from being shadow banned!!!!! It's been months and months but yay finally free!!

#not that... i say things.... but still

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exn0bis · 1 month

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I have a soft spot for characters who practice sluttery and/or clownery to hide deep psychological scars and issues they can’t even vocalize let alone unpack.

#yes

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exn0bis · 1 month

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opens box that reads "i wanna draw again". inside lies a note. the note says, "mental illness and difficult circumstances have taken years of interest, accessibility, and skill away from me. i want to forgive myself for that. i want to heal my relationship to my hobbies. i want to feel connected to something that once made me feel good, but the cyclic discouragement is difficult to overcome." i turn over the note. on the back it reads "wannta drawe sexy bodies awooga"

#i think I've reblogged this before but #yeah. just... yeah.

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exn0bis · 1 month

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“ew thick water gross and weird” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!! “ew why buy pre-cut vegetables when you can cut your own” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!!! “I don’t need a device to help me put my socks on I’m not lazy” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU !!!!!!!!! “Why drink liquid meals when you can cook them” ITS!!!!! NOT!!!!!! FOR!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!

#reading this had a very cathartic effect

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exn0bis · 1 month

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BioWare announces that in Summer 2024 Dragon Age: Dreadwolf will finally be taken to a farm upstate where it can run and play with lots of other RPGs

#the announcement will be made at a prominent gaming event #it will feature the same 2-4 images & video clips they have been using since 2018 #re-cropped and re-edited in slightly different ways #it will contain approximately 2-3 paragraphs worth of words which will all seem very dramatic or promising #but will say absolutely nothing at all #and by the end of it you will realize you're now very convinced that its more likely #for a walrus to knock on your front door than it is for this game to actually be a thing that really exists

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exn0bis · 2 months

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