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executivedoughnut · 4 hours
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me watching 'gratitious' sex and violence and ''problematic representation'' in my shows and movies made for adults
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executivedoughnut · 20 hours
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sorry i need to be weird and grotesque or i’ll die
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i finished reading your story and i must say that, while it's alright, there's so many plot holes because the characters made irrational decisions and didn't think logically 100% of the time. consider fixing this next time please
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executivedoughnut · 2 days
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Why are agriculture classes the first time I've learned extremely basic info about nutrition and how digestion works. Why isn't this stuff in health textbooks or any easily accessible resource about healthy eating.
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executivedoughnut · 3 days
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having a tumblr blog is for those of us who could never manage to keep a diary for more than two weeks when we were twelve
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executivedoughnut · 3 days
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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.
I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.
Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.
No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.
But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?
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executivedoughnut · 4 days
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This is expected, being human.
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executivedoughnut · 4 days
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Things I think would happen if Jeeves and Wooster were on DS9
Bertie is the only person on the station who has not yet clocked Garak as a spy. He spends a lot of time in Garak's shop either ordering the gaudiest clothes imaginable or asking Garak to back him up in whatever fashion argument he's having with Jeeves (which Garak is only too happy to do).
Jeeves fantasizes about murdering Garak a thousand times a day. This goddamn lizard man is his white whale. Any attempt to find blackmail material on him takes him down a hundred different rabbit holes leading to dead ends. He's met his match. There are flames. Flames on the side of his face.
He can't even take Garak to task for his garbage opinions on Earth literature because he knows full well how that would be taken.
Garak actually quite likes Jeeves, because game recognizes game and he respects a fellow manipulative bastard when he sees one. However, since he is, at the end of the day, a little shit, he takes great pleasure in dressing Bertie in louder and louder outfits just to watch Jeeves grind his teeth.
(He's also admittedly fond of Bertie, who's too nice and trusting to treat him with the same suspicion and contempt that nearly every other person on the station does. And if Bertie vaguely reminds him of a certain doctor, what of it?)
Quark quickly figures out that Bertie is absurdly easy to scam. Jeeves spends so much time foiling him that he's practically an informal member of the station security team. Odo drops by his table at the replimat every morning to swap Quark-related intel.
Jeeves also won't stop winning at the Dabo table, infuriating Quark even further. There's an ongoing arms race between Quark trying to find excuses to ban Jeeves from the bar and Jeeves finding ways to blackmail Quark into letting him back in.
Jadzia is the first person to notice the weird requited-unrequited thing J&W have going on and finds it endlessly entertaining. She makes a game of chatting to Bertie about Jeeves as if they're already an established couple (I hear it's Valentine's Day on Earth, are you and Jeeves doing anything special? Worf and I had an amazing romantic date last week at that new Bolian place, you should try it!) Her amusement gradually fades into astonishment the longer Bertie doesn't get it.
Jeeves sees Jadzia's increasingly unsubtle encouraging glances and wishes he could incinerate her with his mind.
Worf knows Jeeves does illegal shit in the course of protecting Bertie or extricating him from accidental alien wedding rituals. He knows it. He just can't prove it. And Odo is no help, because Jeeves keeps himself too unobtrusive and is too invaluable to the cause of keeping Quark in check for Odo to want to look into him that closely.
In the absence of hard evidence to pin him down, Worf's relationship with Jeeves remains tersely cordial. He grudgingly supposes that nobody who has such an amazing depth of knowledge about Klingon opera and poetry could be that bad.
You can't let Bertie and Morn in a room together. Once they get going they NEVER shut up.
Part 1.5 Part 2
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executivedoughnut · 5 days
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64827;2&&;$394$39;??!;!
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executivedoughnut · 5 days
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more stuff about becoming a god being inherently dehumanizing pls
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executivedoughnut · 6 days
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It's 2024. I have been participating in fandom for 40 years. This is a ramble commemorating some history I've experienced along the way.
In 1984, I attended my first convention, and made a beeline for the one long row of covered tables in the Dealer's Room that was, according to the whispered lore of my friends, 'the one'. "um", I said, very suavely and coherently, except for how it was totally the opposite of those things, "I'm here for the... for the, uh. For-"
"Come around here," the man behind the table said with exhausted ennui, so I went around, and he lifted up the table skirt next to him and pointed to rows and rows of boxes underneath the line of tables. "It's all under here."
It was all under there. Along with about five older ladies with glasses, graying hair, cardigans. Flipping through slash zines and chatting in whispered voices like old friends (which of course they were). I noticed one of them had the good sense to be wearing kneepads. I was still too young and ablebodied to need kneepads when crawling on a carpeted floor, but I immediately found her preparedness skills to be both impressive and hot. "You're new," one of the ladies whispered to me--a bit warily, which made sense. "Are you sure you're in the right place?"
In the faint light (the kneepads lady had also come prepared with a flashlight, additional practicality hotness points for her) I grabbed a comb-bound book with a heavy line art piece on the cover, featuring a musclebound Captain Kirk getting righteously and enthusiastically plowed by a stern-yet-ebullient Spock. "This," I said, pointing helpfully at the cover, like I was trying to make myself understood in a language I had only the vaguest knowledge of. "I'm here for this."
Outside at the convention, most of the attendees were wearing large homemade circular pins that shrieked 'K/S is BS!!!'1. But underneath the table, we reveled in the forbidden.
***
In 1985, I fell very hard for Starsky & Hutch fandom. Which was simply referred to at the time as 'the other fandom', because there were only two. We were upstarts. Many fannish elders predicted that it was just a phase.
***
The 'circulating library' was a massive stack of barely-legible pages that smelled strongly of mimeograph ink. When you were on the list, you would write stories while you waited for your turn, and when the big box was mailed to you, you would read everything (new finds, old favorites), add your own sloppily-typed or hastily-mimeographed stories, and then mail the whole thing to the next person. For me, at the time, it was an extremely expensive indulgence--but my favorite one.
***
By 1990, slash fandom had grown enough that I no longer knew everyone in it, which was both thrilling and a bit daunting. A young woman at a convention waited for me after a panel I was part of (I think it was 'writing impactful smut' or something like that), and said she had a question she didn't want to ask in a group setting. I'd heard that before. I said that's fine, go ahead and ask; and she came out with: "Why do you have to be gay?"
I blinked. "Is... that a problem?"
She looked annoyed. "Yes, because your stories are on all the recommendation lists and in all the top zines, but if you're gay and I read something you wrote and I get hot from it that makes me gay, and I'm not gay."
"Wow." I grinned, I couldn't help it. It probably made me look very predatory-dyke-about-to-score-a-toaster. Whatever, it was enough to make her back away from me fast.
When I thought about it later that night, I wondered what it would be like not to be the only queer person in slash fandom.
***
By 1997, slash started appearing on the internet. Many fannish elders claimed it was the death knell of slash fandom, or dismissed it as 'just a phase'.
***
Anyway, I wrote all this for myself as a commemoration of sorts, but if you took the time to read it--thank you. Love you, fandom. I always will.
1 In those days, m/m fandom was known as 'slash', which grew from the fannish shorthand where 'K&S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock having adventures or tribulations or what have you, and 'K/S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock getting it on (Kirk divided by Spock or Spock into Kirk--it was mathy fannish humor and I was into it then and I still am now). Slash was decidedly unpopular in the fannish world in 1984, and there was a concerted effort to force slash authors, artists, and fans out of 'mainstream' fannish public life. Hence, under the table.
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executivedoughnut · 6 days
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There is genuinely no such thing as an inappropriate book for a child.
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executivedoughnut · 15 days
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WRITE IT!!! WRITE THAT SELF INDULGENT SHIT!!!
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executivedoughnut · 15 days
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Just realised I put on my lipstick the same way my friend does, and it makes me think. My favourite ice cream is my childhood friend’s go-to, even if we don’t speak much anymore. My favourite flower is the one my college friend sends me pictures of because they’re her favourite. What am I but a collection of fragments of all the people I care about? Isn’t that precious enough? Isn’t it?
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executivedoughnut · 16 days
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I feel like wanting things has been important to being happier for me
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executivedoughnut · 16 days
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people vaguely saying 'the horrors' as shorthand for 'life problems, don't worry about it' in conversations where the problems are not going to be delved into has got to be one of my favorite new Ways Of Speaking that has emerged. like it's polite and vague and succinct enough for impersonal conversation but also extremely honest. it's very funny. The Horrors. we all know of them.
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executivedoughnut · 17 days
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full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009
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