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[enterthisdaydream]

Third Time’s A Charm

Twice my exit left

showcased an incalculable fury

white-hot lightning striking you down,

rendering you mute.

I remained unashamed,

only hungry for answers

and you purposely evading fault,

starved me out.

Number threes’ retreat —

a phasewalk

a ghostly goodbye

my phone line cut dead.

Thrice your cowardice encumbered you

none more so than the last,

sisterhood has not become you,

your old patterns nauseatingly repetitive,

My faults pale in comparison.

#oh baby I’m back with a vengeance #petty petty petty heheheheeh #poetry #poetry blog #writing blog #writing #diary #free writing #spilled ink #freestyle #new poets of tumblr

[enterthisdaydream]

Sutured Wounds

I wasn’t expecting that remembering it all

would feel so raw

even after all this time,

to suddenly realize

I miss you

as much as it pains me to admit it.

I question my nostalgia.

My memories of you are muddy —

except for your eyes,

those I wish to forget the most,

such clear recognition of remorse,

tears I was too indifferent to wipe away

and you,

begging me to stay.

I don’t regret much,

merely wondering these days,

your well-being mysterious to me,

mine apparently better off from our catastrophe;

throughout these recollections

a sorrow plagues me,

I unknowingly,

quietly grieving our disturbing adolescence.

Only children back then

pretending to be grown,

after the hell we’d seen,

the firsthand unkindness and cruelty,

ironically,

our commodious enemies were not others,

but ourselves and each other —

your finger pointed at me,

two fingers pointed back at you,

and all your half-truths in-between.

Yes,

I ponder the old days.

I look over my shoulder,

scanning strangers in our hometown,

in the cars passing by 101 bound,

anticipating the day I will face what branded me

“Not good enough!”

that scarred the heart

I’ve so carefully rearranged anew,

you were a gun forced in my hand.

I’d cock and release the fury at your command,

my personified bullet wound.

Now,

as a rule much revered,

my heart remains ready,

deadlocked and steady

on the chance of our entwining paths.

Fate may see it fit

and I’ll pray for the strength to survey you

without bitterness or shame

because we were only kids.

You fell victim to your demons,

and I was a victim of you.

You,

only a boy with vast dreams,

a man’s vice upon me.

I,

desperate to be seen,

a girl as naive as you allowed me to be.

#poetry #new poets of tumblr #spilled ink #follow 4 follow #freestyle #constructive criticism welcome #CCW #poets of tumblr #diary #writing blog #writing #rewrite #revised #addiction #heroin addict

[enterthisdaydream]

Sometimes I’m Still Bitter

- Asenath

#new poets of tumblr #spilled ink #poetry #new poets society #addiction #asenath #love

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Masochist

- Asenath

#writing #poetry #poetsoftumblr #spilled ink #masochist

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RugRat

- Asenath

#writing #poetry #writing blog #poetsoftumblr #writers on tumblr #poem #free writing #free verse #journal #diary #daughters #kids #parent #moms #moms of tumblr #parenthood #childhood #spilled ink

[enterthisdaydream]

Clouded

- Asenath

#writing #poetry #writing blog #diary #prose #free writing #free verse #writers on tumblr #depression #lost #poets of tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled ink

[enterthisdaydream]

Spiraling

- Asenath

#writing #poetry #writing blog #diary #free writing #journal #poem #poems on tumblr #anxiety poems #depression #writers on tumblr

[enterthisdaydream]

- Asenath

#writing #poetry #writing blog #prose #diary #free writing #journal #free verse #spilled ink #toxic parents #mothers #poetry blog #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr

[enterthisdaydream]

#writing #poetry #writing blog #poetry blog #spilled ink #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #poem #anxiety disorder #panic

[enterthisdaydream]

Sad girl, it’s okay to cry

Do not supress those undry eyes

You’re allowed to feel, to scream and to weep

Concede to unleash the pain that you keep.

[enterthisdaydream]

Mama? Why does it hurt so much, Mama?

I am hovering here still, don’t you see my eyes?

Why don’t I speak?

Why does no one love me anymore, mama?

Please

Please

Please

Why does it still hurt.

[enterthisdaydream]

She was All at once, Dark and light And sometimes nothing at all.

[enterthisdaydream]

It’s white when we fuck, almost colorless when we make possessive and consuming love. When you hold me, it’s blue. And when I cry it’s blue grey. When we’re laughing and talking leisurely, it’s yellow and greenish. When you piss me off, I see red at the edges. I FEEL red at my edges, vibrating unforgivingly. And when you’re just driving and holding my hand while you shift, it’s such a deep purple…a reminding comfort of home. My rainbow, always putting color in my life, in my heart. Vibrant and nothing dulled. I love you

#blue #its still true

[enterthisdaydream]

Hallow girl

Like a tree struck by lightning,

A fire burned you from the inside out for days until the core of you was all but ash.

Shallow girl

No depth like the ponds of sanctuary you seek, a foot deep and murky.

You are all anyone doesn't talk about. There is nothing there and you know, and everyday that knife of knowledge sinks a little more towards your resolve.

Poisoned steel. Poisoned heart. Poisoned life.

[enterthisdaydream]

Sorrow found me when I was young.

[enterthisdaydream]

There are words hiding within my secret heart, peeking through the muddy swamps of a constant meloncholy...waiting, waiting, waiting. For what? For whom?

For I. For courage and reprise.

But my words feels tainted, wrong, like nothing.

Empty and different than ever and I have a hard time with change.

[enterthisdaydream]

Damon

Azul, my azure

You, my holy Blue.

Pure of soul,

and naked truth

I seek inside, benevolence

and from outside, sweet dominance

For we are one; I am the one

Blue. You are mine, all unspilt blood

All words unsaid,

No talk needed, all speech receded

Into tears of release

No-holds-barred,

And no "no's" from me.

#damon #i love you more and more everyday. #poetry #free verse #writing #writing blog