englishknightsky

[englishknightsky]

most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages

#i only go under the covers for sim woohoo #with floating hearts and fireworks

[englishknightsky]

[englishknightsky]

a wikipedia poem on software entropy

[englishknightsky]

I bet he eated a lettuce

[englishknightsky]

not a fan of the noise that you have made. did not appreciate that all

[englishknightsky]

One thing you've got to know about guinea pigs is that they love tossing shit around.

Hides? Flipped.

Food? Scattered.

You can't win with these guys. Anything not bolted down will be knocked over.

#mine specifically like to chew the front of their hide off and then be so upset that it falls over #you ATE the part that stands on the floor!?

[englishknightsky]

Via thesweetlifeofpiggies

[englishknightsky]

[englishknightsky]

[englishknightsky]

My boyfriend won’t stop talking to me about whether or not I would eat Pokémon steaks. We think maybe Mr. Mime steaks would have white meat and ooze a purple liquid. I feel like you’re the only one qualified to tell us more

listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning

luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps

once theyve been safely removed from their inedible surroundings, the larger red spheres are ready to begin working with - its worth noting that the smaller spots on the hands and cheeks also fall into this category, but theyre almost always too small to be considered harvesting by most professionals 

youll want to start by cutting away any flesh thats still directly touching the pale parts; when in doubt, a wider cut is always preferred. better safe than sorry ! one benefit of working with mr mimes is that, along with many others in their typing, their bodies are held together with physic energy and thus dont require deboning

the next part is going to require boiling in a large pressure cooker- some may find it a challenge to to find a pot big enough to host all the parts, so cooking them individually is fine. remember to follow the instructions to the letter

after theyve been removed and dried, an easy way to text if theyre safe to eat is to cut them in half and check the spongy center - a darkened purple core means theyve been boiled long enough, while any lighter, greenish tints means you probably needed a bit more time

once theyre out of the danger range, you can now safely use them in variety of dishes ! their almost mushroom-like texture means they absorb flavors well, and pictured above is one of my personal favorites

THIS guy though, you can just pop em into your mouth whole. its fine

[englishknightsky]

[englishknightsky]

[englishknightsky]

via indiarosecrawford

Frog Paints a Water Lily Pond 🪷🎨🐸

𝑓ₒᵣ ⲕᵢ𝑛𝑔 ₐ𝑛𝑑 𝑐ₒ𝑡𝑡ₐ𝑔ₑ

[englishknightsky]

I just think it would be funny to switch things up and lead with "popular far-right online blogger, Joan Rowling" once in awhile.

[englishknightsky]

Venom, in the middle of the night: I can't believe nintendo ruined bowling

Eddie: Vee, it is four in the morning, and you've never even played wii sports!!

#when my friend and i played wii bowling as kids she swung her arm back and busted my nose and made it bleed all over the place #venom would do this

[englishknightsky]

[englishknightsky]

So Fox News ran a story about how they think libraries are turning into drug-infested sex dens and I am shocked, shocked that I was never offered any drugs during my 15+ years working in libraries.