ANYA CHALOTRA as YENNEFER
NETFLIX'S THE WITCHER ‧ Bottled Appetites
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The Asskier Chair
For those who don't know me well here, I moved in last year in my new home with my two children. I had been living with my parents since the beginning of the divorce proceedings so of course, when I moved in, I had basically nothing.
My parents offered to look around a few places, thrift stores and such, to help me fill up the place and this is the phone call I received from my mother (translated from French):
Mom :"I found you a chair"
"Okay"
Mom : "It's 80$. But you need it"
"I don't see how I would need an $ 80 chair..."
Mom: "You don't understand. There's a bard on it"
"A bard..? On the chair"
Mom: "Well exactly, on it yes. Actually... You sit on his face"
"..." Confused
So she sends me the following pictures
And of course I bought the Chair and of course, Twitter decided via poll that it would be names Asskier
Apparently, my dad was not impressed and he told my mom I wouldn't want it because we sat on his face.
Mom "Pretty sure it's the main reason Elias will want it. It's pretty gay"
Here's a more current picture of Asskier, living its best chair life in my living room
Near My lute and the Fireplace
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In my defense, this is totally lore-accurate. Your honor.
caution nudity below
Everyone needs a hobby. Don't judge me.
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Cats do co-parenting. And do not care that you ain't a cat.
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having a threesome isnt going to solve any of their problems but they should do it anyway
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Geralt, about to fist-fight a dude Jaskier's been trying to track down for fancier ad placards: You know what, life with Jaskier is already so goddamn weird...
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Rumptious it is
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jaskier and yennefer should kiss
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Rookie mistake - teasing and then turning your back on Geralt
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Patreon | Ko-Fi
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hm. thinking about Geralt, Eskel and Lambert watching Vesemir doting on Ciri like the granddaughter he never had, going easy on her during her training when she asks for it politely, making a show of lecturing her when she's being mouthy when it's obvious for everyone he's already forgiven her. Lifting her off her feet and spinning her around when he sees her again for the first time in years. And all the while Vesemir's sons in every way except blood are watching and watching and thinking, so you were capable of being affectionate and considerate and a decent fucking human being all this time. You just chose not to be this man with us.
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weird elves are neat
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Geralt, still in bed: So, about this party we have to go to tonight... Can you suggest some conversation stoppers?
Yennefer, doing her hair: You mean conversation starters, right?
Jaskier, busy choosing his outfit: No, he doesn't.
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Geralt: What the fuck? The door's been locked from the outside
Yennefer: We seem to be trapped in one of those "can't leave until you have sex" rooms
Jaskier, unlacing his doublet: Okay, no big deal then
Geralt: Wait, uh, the sign says, Welcome to the "can't leave until you are emotionally honest with each other" room
Jaskier:
Yennefer:
Geralt:
Jaskier: We're going to die in here
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