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emo-nova · 11 days
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Th CodyWan Obsession
This one is about how CodyWan, the obsession, could be used to fix the universe. 
It actually starts before Cody becomes Obi Wan’s commander. The 212th, with Alpha-17 as the commander, went to Kamino. This is still very early in the war, where Anakin is still a Padawan. Through some random set of events Anakin meets Cody, who is an ARC trainer, while touring the facility with Alpha (Obi Wan has some meeting or another and is not able to go with them). This conversation lasts all of 45 seconds before Anakin somehow divines or decides that Cody would be perfect for Obi Wan. 
Thus an obsession is born. 
Now Anakin has next to no subtly, but even he knows this obsession must be kept quiet at first. Because he believes he knows that, while Anakin is more than willing to break The Code to be with Padme, Obi Wan would not. So before Anakin starts matchmaking he wants a loophole in place.  His Master loves loopholes. 
So, on Anakin’s next leave he dives into the parts of the code that deal with attachment. His obsession is such that he even blows off Chancellor (He does at least call Padme, but spends no time with his new wife). Because he is looking for loopholes and different interpretations, h does not just dig into the actual wording of the Code (though he does that as well, and is surprised to learn that the interpretation he thought he knew- which he does realize later came exclusively from Palpatine- is wrong) but also into transcripts of the council meetings where that wording was was decided, an every meeting where it was rehashed. 
Madam Nu assumes, as most people do, that this had something to do with his infatuation with Padme Amidala.  She encouraged what he was learning, in hopes that it gave him a good direction. 
Anakin learns a lot during this deep dive into Archives. He learns that it is not so much the marriage that is against the code, but vowing to put one being over the rest of the galaxy (he also realizes that the vows he took with Padme did not break the Code). He learns the reasons why the Jedi caution against romantic relationships (all of which are very good reasons), and the variety of ways that the Jedi had mitigated the dangers and been in a successful, healthy romantic relationship, of which he made a mental note to bring up with Padme so they do not fall into some of the same traps noted (of which Falling and killing everyone you loved is one of many bad reactions). He also learns a great deal about the Jedi Order as a whole, and dispels most, but not all, of the incorrect views he had of the Jedi Order (the views that Palpatine so carefully shaped for Anakin)
So Anakin, now armed with all the arguments for why Obi Wan should date Cody, finds his first of many obstacles. Obi Wan has no idea who Cody is.  Anakin had not been paying attention to Cody’s ID number, nor did he catch that Cody was an ARC trainer, so has no idea how to find Cody. 
He is not able to find out who Cody is before Cody becomes Obi Wan’s commander, which makes him both feel guilty (for the torture Obi Wan and Alpha-17 underwent) and vindicated (because clearly the Force agreed with him about CodyWan).  Anakin then dedicates himself to being a matchmaker. He is not good at it. 
Neither Obi Wan nor Cody ever figure out what he is doing. This is not due to any subtlety on Anakin’s part, this is because none of his efforts to match-make looks anything like traditional matchmaking.  And while no one actually tells Obi Wan or Cody, everyone else in Anakin’s vicinity finds out within 15 minutes of his obsession with getting CodyWan together. 
Every conversation Anakin has with Palpatine after Cody becomes Obi Wan’s commander devolves into the wonders of CodyWan. For most of it Palpatine has no idea that Cody is a clone (as he does not know the Clone names, only their numbers).  Palpatine is split between wanting to help get CodyWan together (because Anakin is really compelling) and wanting to kill them both extra hard (because they had inadvertently derailed, and continue to derail, his corruption of Anakin). 
And Anakin’s corruption has been entirely derailed.   His research has given him a better view of the Jedi Order as a whole, and every attempt to besmirch the Jedi to him is met with actual concrete knowledge that the negative take is wrong.  He has gone through all the requirements for listing his relationship and marriage to Padme, so when she does get pregnant they are able to go to the Temple healers, thus no need to be worried about her safety.  Even the war is not pressing on his sanity in the right ways since about 40% of his brain is consumed with CodyWan at all times. 
Padme, who is a romantic in her own right (and just as bad a matchmaking), also falls into the CodyWan obsession. She is aware that Cody is Obi Wan’s clone commander, so much of her focus is getting the Clone’s rights and ending the war so that the two can be free to be together. Her former handmaidens are watching this all with awe, horror, and amusement.  
I know that CodyWan ends up together in this one. I feel like QueerPlatonic is right for them.  I also like the idea that they get together in spite of Anakin’s and Padme’s matchmaking efforts instead of because of it. 
Palpatine gets found out, by being a bit too heavy handed with Anakin, who has since stopped being corrupted by anything more subtle and is very oblivious. Somehow during this fight Palpatine finds out that Cody is the clone commander with the Jedi (which ironically makes him forget to activate Order 66) and announces Anakin’s wish for CodyWan to have a romantic relationship.    
This is news to both Cody and Obi Wan. This is not news to literally everyone else.  After Palpatine is defeated (not killed, in this one they manage to lock him up. The fight damages his vocal chords so he is not able to activate the chips) several bets were settled about CodyWan. Palpatine himself even managed to win some bets with several senators (there is some debate as to if they should be forced to pay out, and how, since Palpatine would be in a Force blocking cage for the rest of his life).
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emo-nova · 14 days
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Imagine having such a skill-issue
My cat licked my pizza.
I am suffering the woes of man.
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emo-nova · 16 days
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My friend scared me, and then I got the best delight in the world :D
You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?
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emo-nova · 17 days
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Tumblr is shit for artists but I’m really bullheaded and I don’t want to move
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emo-nova · 20 days
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I want Obi-Wan during Tatooine to just get random locals showing up at his hut with Gifts in exchange for advice/wisdom because he's A Crazy Old Wizard Hermit and that's what you do when there's a magical hermit in driving distance
Random person: Oh great wizard, tell me my fortune.
Obi-Wan: I can’t actually tell—wait, did you bring fruit? Fresh fruit? That’s not dried?
Random person: Yes, great wizard
Obi-Wan: And you’ll give it to me if I tell you your fortune?
Random: Of course, great wizard
Obi-Wan:
Obi-Wan: What do you want to know?
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emo-nova · 20 days
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I am begging to the universe, to any fucking fanfic writers/artists/creator of any kind, please make this happen
I fear if I do it, it'll end up being 5+1 with angst and mangled fluff between clone terror of remembering Alpha-17
Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic
They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.
It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.
Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.
I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.
Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.
When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!
Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.
Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.
A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.
The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.
"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.
When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.
What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.
OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.
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emo-nova · 20 days
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i need a fic or something where steve tells eddie "hey you were a dick in high school too. jumping on tables and screaming at people who just want to eat their lunch about their conformism to the man or whatever was annoying as fuck. also why did lucas have to choose between a sport and your nerd game that's normal. people are multidimensional. I'm not alone in this, who wasn't a total dick at 16. where is your redemption arc mister."
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emo-nova · 20 days
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Wow. Talk about attention to detail.
Video here: https://twitter.com/javi_draws/status/965260617790738432?s=21
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emo-nova · 22 days
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being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors
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emo-nova · 22 days
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APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)
New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.
He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.
The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.
"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."
Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!
Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.
When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.
Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.
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emo-nova · 23 days
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just said “reblogged” instead of “retweeted” in a big meeting. pray for me.
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emo-nova · 24 days
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emo-nova · 24 days
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shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode
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emo-nova · 24 days
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emo-nova · 24 days
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Reblog to kill it faster
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emo-nova · 27 days
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I have come to a realisation why I don't like Boruto:Next Gen. It isn't quite the turn they have decided, but it focuses more on the handling of Naruto and his actions as a father. I truly, and utterly believe, that this is what turned me off from the show, albeit some storylines of the show is iffy to me its fine.
Naruto, in my whole opinion, would try to emulate Iruka Umino. He would try to be there for his son, for his failings and his successes even before and after as Hokage. This kid would become Hokage and immediately go to Iruka and ask how to balance work and private so he can be there for his son, he might go to Kakashi as well but let's be honestly does he have a life outside of his work as a ninja? Anyways.
This is what got me off of the show. I couldn't watch Naruto as a parent of Boruto because I don't think he would be handling it like that. He would take his son out after forcing him to clean the faces for ramen or burgers to get him to speak up about it. He would try to emulate the father-figure Iruka was to him in his early life, and he would be the same with Himawari.
That is my realisation. I know that if Naruto parented differently, there would or could be bigger changes in Boruto Canon. I am fine with cherry picking what I like from it, but Naruto being an absent parent is not what I see for him.
If I have anything wrong, do tell me, I will like to be stand corrected over this :)
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emo-nova · 29 days
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Wolfy i very sorry for the disturbance again but its funny
So there's this one Athenian ritual where an ox had to be sacrificed, but at the same time it was a crime. So the priest kills the ox then fucking books it and tosses the axe somewhere random, and when the people find the axe they literally fucking charge the axe with murder and take it to court 💀
I love that so much
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