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emachinescat · 3 hours
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PEREUS-
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emachinescat · 5 days
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most notable times of being hit on by customers:
guy who tried to impress me with card tricks and failed every single one of them
old man who attempted to get my number when his wife walked away and slipped me his email address ending with “@ aol.com” when i said i don’t do that
cute gay couple that came back to tell me i was cute and then called the shop to ask me out
older professor who i talked to about folklore and told me he dressed as a wizard for recitals saying “this is really embarrassing but umm.. i’d love to get to know you more..” and gave me a receipt with his email address on it
dude in his 40s asking me on a movie date and me saying yes but then he kept starting text conversations with “ahoi hoi”
military guy who said it’d be hot if i killed him with a baseball bat
most notable time a customer did not ask me out:
a man who i knew had a wife and children getting really flustered and saying “um. ive been, uh.. idk if you remember me but um. i come in here a lot and ive uhhh haha umm ive been wanting to ask you for a couple weeks now.. um. have you read the green lantern issue i recommended??????”
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emachinescat · 12 days
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jason: father, i pray to you. i ask you for your generosity and to assist me by granting me a single lightning bolt. i will be forever grateful for your kindness and goodness.
zeus: fine. just one though.
percy: *creates waves hundreds of feet tall, summons a hurricane, splits a glacier in half, and drowns an entire army of monsters without even hesitating*
poseidon: haha. nice.
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emachinescat · 12 days
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Yes yes yes Percy is "touch her and you die." But I haven't seen enough people talk about the fact that Annabeth is "touch him and you will know pain greater than the gods themselves could inflict."
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emachinescat · 12 days
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emachinescat · 12 days
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emachinescat · 12 days
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zeus: your boy is out of control. he’s down there creating storms and tsunamis and causing mass chaos. i think you need to-
poseidon: LOOK AT HIM GO! HAHA LOOK LOOK LOOK HE JUST DROWNED THAT ENTIRE ARMY OF MONSTERS
zeus: that’s not-
poseidon: OMG LOOK HES CAUSING A LITTLE EARTHQUAKE NOW! YES! GOOD! NOW USE YOUR SWORD TO- YES THATS IT SON!!
zeus:
poseidon: DROWN THEM ALL!! SHAKE THE GROUND!! FLOOD THE WHOLE AREA!! SINK IT TILL IT’S GONE!!
zeus: brother you need to-
poseidon: you’re just jealous.
zeus:
poseidon: he’s wonderful.
zeus: he’s-
zeus:
zeus: is he… doing the macarena?
poseidon: yes
poseidon: he likes to get on the nerves of his enemies. he also is physically incapable of staying serious for too long
zeus:
poseidon: i’ve never loved one of my children this much
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emachinescat · 12 days
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Thalia: "I would never touch Zeus's throne, he would kill me before recognizing me"
Percy: "Once I sat on my father's throne, it was dangerous but it was an urgent situation"
Nico, casually lying on Hades' throne while eating a pomegranate: "hi pops"
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emachinescat · 19 days
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They’re so silly <3
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emachinescat · 19 days
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emachinescat · 19 days
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Two cute puppies
(via)
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emachinescat · 19 days
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One of the most life-changing things I ever learned came from Mythbusters, where they tested and proved (with cognitive testing puzzles and reaction time tests) that lying down and resting with the intention to sleep STILL provided significant mental benefits over just staying awake, even if a person couldn’t fall asleep in the amount of time they had. 
It helps me to actually sleep to know that just lying down with my eyes closed is still doing me some good, and helps me to not freak out/beat myself up when I stay up later than intended. Any amount of rest is better than no rest!
So if you didn’t know that…now you do
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emachinescat · 19 days
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“You’ll regret this”
(via)
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emachinescat · 19 days
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emachinescat · 19 days
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If You’re Gonna Make Something Wheelchair Accessible, Don’t Make it a Thing
Here’s some examples awkward accessibility being a thing:
Your at a hotel that has a lift to get you from one sub-floor to another, but the lift can only be unlocked and operated by one specific person that the hotel now has to go find. Sure, they’ve made the entrance to the sub-floor is accessible, but now it’s a thing.
The buses are wheelchair accessible but the driver has to stop the bus, take 30 seconds to lower the goddamn ramp, move passengers out of their seats, hook up the straps and then secure you in the bus. Sure, they’ve made the busses accessible but now it’s a thing.
The restaurant has an accessible entrance, but it’s past the trash room and through the kitchen. Sure, the restaurant is accessible, but now it’s an insulting thing.
Here’s some great examples of accessibility not being a thing:
The train to the airport pulls up flush with the platform. I board with everyone else and sit wherever the fuck I want. Riding the train is accessible and not a thing.
In Portland, I press a button the side of the streetcar and a ramp automatically extends at the same time the door opens. I board in the same amount of time as everyone else. This is not a thing.
I get that it is difficult to design for wheelchair accessibility, but folks need to start considering the overall quality of the experience versus just thinking about meeting the minimum requirements.
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emachinescat · 19 days
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emachinescat · 19 days
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imagine getting this review
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