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eimaan1 · 1 year
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I went on a spacewalk..
Plucked the stars from the beautiful face of sky..
When they started shining Brightly...
A Black hole was created, to suck them in..
But have ever heard of a wormhole??
We are gonna meet there..
At the end of every blackhole, I believe is a wormhole.
That connects us..
No matter how far we go.
We will meet again.
And shine better..
And together!!
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eimaan1 · 1 year
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"THE WAIT IS STILL NOT OVER"
BATCH 2019!(DPT and MLT)
You people were the ones for whom I had prayed,
The ones for whom I waited anxiously.
I was there, with memories of my previous champs..
Every day in my office, I used to count days for the October 19.
Then I met you all
The wait was finally over.
We laughed together.
We cried together.
We had fights and what not.
But the end of story was always one
That,
WE STOOD TOGETHER!
Now, when I am about to turn a new page,
My hands are shivering.
My eyes welled up.
I am feeling the air of despair creeping right into my spine.
But a hope is taking birth within,
Someday somewhere we are gonna work together.
Somewhere at a beautiful place, full of happiness and peace,
I will be carrying the same wait in my heart,
I will work hard,
I will laugh louder,
But I will count days,
I will wait for you all.
Please don't be late..
May we meet again!
(Amen)
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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100 posts!
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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I had dreamt of you long ago..
I was like a deserted Castle,
Abandoned by every human.
Eaten by haunted souls..
I was all in black and white.
Never even craved for any colours.
But then you entered my heart.
I first heard its beats.
I saw the color of my black blood turning red.
I saw the Roses and happiness blooming in the garden of my life.
I saw the picture of life on the canvas of my life.
Now, when you have decided to go back to where you came from..
I am scared to death.
Will the colors go away?
Will my heart turn into a stone again?
Will I forget how to love , again?
Will my life turn black and white?
Will the haunted souls eat me up?
Will the darkness of my soul, blind me?
Will the silence of my mind, deaf me?
Will I be lost into nothingness again?
Can't you just stay?
For some more time..
So that the colors you brought,
The dreams you showed me,
May see the light of the day!
Please,
Just stay!
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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Mohabbat ki bohat bari saza mili ha mujhay..
Chot kha k bhi, chot denay walay ki yaad aai ha mujhay..
Mein ne bar ha koshish ki k yaad na aye wo mujhay,
Her bar lekin naye mor pe la k rolayi ha mujhay..
Mein ne soch tha, Kisi lamhay meri yaad bhi jayegi,
Lekin us ne tu bichartay lamhay he bhula diya tha mujhay..
Mein ne jana tha us ko apna, apni dunya, apni sari khushyan..
Lekin us ne tu faqt waqt guzarnay ka mashghala jana tha mujhay.
Haye naseeb ka likha kon badal sakta ha, akhir toot he gaye.
Meray wo khwab, jin k saharay bohat agay jana tha mujhay..
Mein ne haar maan li taqdeer se, us se, mohabbat se, sub se..
Lekin us ne bhi tu akhri baar mor k nahin pukara tha mujhay.
Yun khatam hoi aik aisi kahani, jis mein akeli mein he adakara thi..
Kitaab k her warq se magar, hamesha k liye mithaya gaya mujhay.
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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Will he ever go through our chat and read my words?
Will he ever be able to feel that agony and excruciating pain of my soul?
Will he ever be able to see how my fierce heart has turned into a frozen and barren land?
A land where no love blooms anymore,
Where all the roses are dead and colorless.
I don't remember anything but my cries..
My every word and me, begging for his affection and care,
I remember how every time I was disappointed and left alone.
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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I wish you could hear me..
I still mumble "I love you" in my dreams..
Whispering sweet nothings to you..
I know we have parted ways..
But I said the final good bye,
Hoping, the roads where we parted may end at the same point.
May you and I be each other's destination.
My cravings for you are dead..
But a part of my heart is still longing for you..
I know in some time,
Even the memories we had, will be fogged..
I will not remember every detail of what we said and did..
But, I am sure your name would still taste like the first kiss on my lips.
I know I would move ahead and you would move on too.
May be we will never be able to see each other in person.
But I know the ways to the dreamland.
So when someone will wish you sweet dreams,
That would invite me to your dreams.
They say, healing is painful too.
Yes, it is.
At times, I get up and find no sign of your love in me.
The other moment my soul tear the skies with its screams.
Time heals every wound, right?
But you will remain as the biggest scar on my heart.
Reminding me of my insanity in love and losing you.
Even if we cross paths again, I know I would walk away.
But, my heart will always skip beats for you.
It's not like I have not loved and lost before..
But, the hardest good bye I ever said to anyone, was to you!!
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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*Dilemma of being at the border*
I have heard of the Dilemma before,
But I am facing it now.
They said I am a borderline person,
Thinking only in black and white while I split,
I think people, world, actions are either best or worst,
Emotions can be either extreme love, or extreme rage.
Too much expression or emotionally dead.
I have always been like this.
Going back and forth between the light and dark,
Like a pendulum, I never had rest.
But, now someone I loved, and still do.
Has put me again on the border.
I have to choose him, or move ahead.
My heart says yes and no, both.
Yes, because it still beats for him.
No, because it was broken by him.
My mind has powered off itself.
Not even looking at heart,
Leaving it between the devil and the deep sea.
Like a pendulum,
My heart is going to past and future.
Past: horrible.
Future: not sure.
Mind says decide it by your own,
So, if things go wrong tomorrow, I will criticise the heart.
And if things were pleasant, I will put myself in the credit zone.
But, someone inside me, called hope.
The new guest within me,
My new personality, the new character,
Called HOPE, says,
"Everyone deserves a chance, however this time do not open your heart,
Love him with your mind.
Keep your eyes wide open, observe and pen it down.
If what he does makes you feel good.
Shake hands.
But if the story starts repeating itself,
Close the book and burn it forever.
So,
This Dilemma of going back or not,
Is actually depicting how it seems to be on the borderline!!
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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Meray dil pe dastak hoi..
Lekin
Aaj bhi wo apnay liye aya tha.
Ilzam thay, sang dili thi us k sang..
Mein ne kab mangay thay us k piyar k rang.
Magar..
Aaj phir aik naya dad wo saath laya tha.
Mujhay laga tha mein ne sabr ka ghont pi liya ha..
Magar wo koi naya fatwa meray naam laya tha.
Mein ne jis ki khatir dunya chor di..
Hansna chor diya..
Aaj wo mujh se meri yeh qurbani bhi mitanay aya tha.
Aaj bhi wo meri yaad mein nahin..
Apnay naam pe paray gard ko saaf karnay aya tha.
Aik naya zakhm,
Naya dard denay aya tha..
Aaj bhi wo bus apnay liye he aya tha!
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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*Uska Gharoor torungi*
Usko bohat ghuroor tha k mein ab bhi chahti hun usko.
Ab bhi meri chehray ka rang khil jayega us k anay se.
Wo anaparast, khud pasand itna tha,
Khud ko mera maseeha samajhnay laga tha,
Woh jis ko meri mohabbat ne khaak se takht pe Betha diya tha,
Wo samajhta tha, meray dil mein ab bhi wo kahin basta ha,
Us ko lagta ha mujh tak wapis anay ka,
Ab bhi us k paas koi rstaa ha.
Woh pur umeed tha, jub chahay phir se dil lubhanay ayega,
Wo janta nahin tha magar k,
Meri yadasht se us ka naam tak mit jayega.
Mein bohat roi thi itni us ki yaad mein,
K akhir mein ansu yeh soch k punchnay lagi,
K yeh kon tha jis ko itni dastras thi meray hawas pe?
Haye! Kae din guzray per, gard si par gai ha shayad,
Ab meray zehn o khayal pe.
Sub ne kaha us ne tumhain kabhi chaha he nahin.
Mein ne mana nahin chaha hoga.
Kisi ne yeh nahin kaha k tumhari bhi chahat mein itni taqat na thi,
K woh bhi chah leta tumhari tarah tumhain kabhi.
Mein nahin manti k koi dil khud se itna kisi naam pe dharkayga!
Taali agr aik haath se nahin bajti!
Mohabbat kabhi yaktarfa nahin hoti.
Mein ne maan liya wo lout k nahin ayega.
Tu ab kion intezar mein Bethu us k.
Yeh soch k dil mukafal tu kar diya magar,
Kisi nae ahat pe,
Nae dastak pe,
Dil ka yeh darwaza phir se khulungi sahi!
Us ka yeh gharoor,
K faqat wahi tha,
Meray hosh o hawas pe hawii...
Us ka yeh gharoor torungi sahi!!!
Mein kisi nae kahani mein,
Kisi humnawa k sang,
Apna dil,
Apna naam,
Jorungi sahi!!!
Us k yeh guman,
Uska yeh gharoor,
Torungi sahi!!!
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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I was convinced that my BPD mind would do wonders.
It will save me from the pain and agony of the shaterred love.
I was sure it will shut off all the emotions and numb me.
It did.
I am laying in my bed, with empty stares, as if my mind, my limbic system has been frozen.
I don't shed tears.
I feel nothing.
I remember nothing.
Looking at the roof,
Still how come the only thing blurring my vision,
Is seeing your face.
There is an alarm beeping as if this ice will be broken,
I will wake up from my cryosleep,
All my physiological activities will resume,
My scream would reach the high heavens.
Because I will still remember losing you over nothing.
Because the first thing I would ask of you, once my emotions are defrosted.
Will you still be there or long gone?
Will some one put me back to the sleep that is deceiving me by making me belief you are still here?
Will I ever be able to wake up again and accept that you have played your role and gone?
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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I am going to burn all the bridges going to you.
To your memories.
Or us!
I am going to set fire to your words which were hollow,
To the sentences which carried no meaning.
To the moments which were illusions.
To all the laughters we had shared, echoing in my mind,
I am hearing them louder than before,
When we have gone.
I still see you and me,
Smiling at each other.
I hear you calling my name, which you never had called before.
They say it's my mind playing games with my heart.
They call it hallucinations.
I call it hopeless hopes.
I know we are not going to meet again,
But there is a candle in the deep attic of my empty soul,
Flickering its last,
Telling me...
Maybe your story has not ended yet.
I want to put "The End" to the chapter but,
Someone is taking pen from me time n again,
Asking me to wait.
He may come,
He will come,
But you won't be here.
He will write the end with his own hands...
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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The struggle is so real to be on the border of feeling too much and not at all.
#borderline or borderfine?
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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Now when it has been ages since we broke up,
I cry no more tears over the dead and buried love.
There is a silence prevailing in my soul.
Yet a question roars high within my heart.
Do you not know that your phone doesn't show notifications of my texts.
Reading "Good morning love",
Or "you are still sleeping"?
Every Friday evening,
Don't you wonder if I still wonder that have you reached home or not?
Every Sunday evening, don't you want to be asked,
"Hey, you are on way, right?"
Don't you remember someone begging to study well.
Don't you want to be told again,
"You know I love you more than you wife would even love you"
Don't you want to be hugged and told,
"I feel so safe around you".
Don't you remember a girl, who used to sing songs for you and write poems for you.
Don't you remember tears in her eyes floating seeing you happy with other girls.
Don't you remember how a girl like her who was scared to love again, fearlessly loved you,
In all the possible and impossible ways!
Do you ever miss the moment she begged for you to stay?
Now when she is gone,
Do you feel her absence or no it doesn't make a sense to you?
All these questions make me so busy that,
I rarely get time to miss you.
FULL STOP.
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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Our story was different since its inception.
We knew from the beginning, we had a finite set of years.
Three years?
We used to call it.
Despite the age and other differences,
We set on the journey of this defined timeline.
We were supposed to enjoy every minute of it to the fullest,
Knowing that with every minute,
Our time of togetherness was subtracting from the three years.
But, unfortunately, we let go off so many days which we could have saved in frames.
We never celebrated any day.
The first "new year" we had,
The first "valentine's day"
Our first year anniversary,
Our birthdays,
Any other festival,
We were not together on any of these days.
I wonder if we had a definite time period of three years,
Why it shrinked to an year?
I have nothing left of what we had,
Our relationship has ended in to thin air.
No sign of us.
No memories of us.
No special days.
No special words.
No pictures.
No ending words.
No last moment, regrets.
We broke up as if we never had anything between us.
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eimaan1 · 2 years
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Now when it has been ages since we broke up,
I cry no more tears over the dead and buried love.
There is a silence prevailing in my soul.
Yet a question roars high within my heart.
Do you not know that your phone doesn't show notifications of my texts.
Reading "Good morning love",
Or "you are still sleeping"?
Every Friday evening,
Don't you wonder if I still wonder that have you reached home or not?
Every Sunday evening, don't you want to be asked,
"Hey, you are on way, right?"
Don't you remember someone begging to study well.
Don't you want to be told again,
"You know I love you more than you wife would even love you"
Don't you want to be hugged and told,
"I feel so safe around you".
Don't you remember a girl, who used to sing songs for you and write poems for you.
Don't you remember tears in her eyes floating seeing you happy with other girls.
Don't you remember how a girl like her who was scared to love again, fearlessly loved you,
In all the possible and impossible ways!
Do you ever miss the moment she begged for you to stay?
Now when she is gone,
Do you feel her absence or no it doesn't make a sense to you?
All these questions make me so busy that,
I rarely get time to miss you.
FULL STOP.
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