Crossroads
(A Detective Conan Short)
Ran had left that morning like an overcast sky filled with dark grey clouds, drooping low and heavy with the threat of rain. But like that calm before a violent thunderstorm, she had gone in silence. Sometimes he took her resilience for granted, he supposed, her sweetness, her natural inclination to forgive, to try to accept and understand. She gave so much of herself to others. He wondered where she got that from. Not him, surely. Eri, then? He frowned and reached for the breast pocket of his suit coat, shaking a cigarette loose from the package before he remembered he was in a nonsmoking establishment. With a sigh, he dropped it back again, changing course for the cup waiting for him to his left. No, he decided as he took a healthy sip, he and Eri were fiercely proud individuals, too proud…Far too proud. Certainly, neither of them shared their daughter’s tolerant nature.
Then again, it wasn’t as though she let people walk all over her. She put up with a lot, certainly, but Kogoro had seen her snap, had witnessed the end of her long rope, and though ferocious and tempestuous, like lightning flashing in a night sky, it was somewhat awe inducing, something which caused his invisible heartstrings to pull with pride that he supposed only a father would know. His beautiful, independent, strong-willed, but patient and caring and selfless little girl. The various cushions that had been reduced to threads and the dents that peppered the walls of the office did not share in this pride, but it was his privilege as a father to overlook the destructive price her repressed turmoil unleashed. And he understood. More than she, hopefully, would ever know. He knew how she struggled, how hard she worked to keep her own emotional rollercoaster from running off the rails. And he knew his own contributions to the storm.
Yes, that part he knew all too well.
He knew it didn’t help that he and Eri refused to settle their score. He couldn’t even remember why they’d split up in the first place now. And maybe it didn’t matter. The love was still there. He felt it every time he even thought of her name…yet it was so hard, so incredibly impossible when they were eye to eye.
He knew it didn’t help that he made the wrong choices again, and again…and again. The late nights with his mahjong buddies, the pachinko parlors, horse racing and ever enticing bliss of copious alcohol consumption; it all added fuel to the raging inferno that was rapidly spreading over every corner of his simple life. But these habits, as deplorable as they may be in hindsight, felt more and more like his last and only escape.
He had always valued justice, honor, and integrity…that was why he had become a police officer, and why he’d pursued private practice after that. In every system, every hierarchy, there was opportunity for corruption, for red tape and restrictions to limit the scope of one’s ability to influence, to help and to be true to their convictions. Not that the Metropolitan Police were in any way unethical, he just found that the regulations could interfere with the lengths he wanted to go in order to ensure righteousness prevailed. But the tangled, intertwined web he now found himself wrapped up in was more than he had ever bargained for. Be that as he may, he was determined to see it though. To play his part. Even if that part was to be the fool.
He wasn’t the brightest bulb. He could admit that to himself. He tried to portray a poised and confident suave demeanor, but it crumbled fast, his ego battered and beaten by the many times he had found himself as the punchline of many a joke. He got flustered and muddled. Try as he might, the clues rarely consented to add up together properly, or worse yet he’d miss something crucial altogether. But with every case he tried to see it, to piece the infuriating puzzles together as quickly as his many colleagues managed to do so, to study their approach and mimic it. He tried to be what the newspapers said he was. THE Sleeping Kogoro, a genius detective. But the act could be incredibly tiring, exhausting down to the bone, and the stakes were greater than ever now, all of it culminating into a pressure too great for his shoulders, and in his moments of weakness, when it was all too much, then he slipped back into the worst of those bad habits, let himself down, let Eri down, and Ran, too. And Ran truly didn’t deserve it. She had enough of her plate as it was without having to feel like the adult between the two of them, responsible for her father.
The walls around his life seemed to have been narrowing over the last year, ever since Yusaku Kudo paid him a visit to explain the most bizarre, unbelievable, ludicrous, and terrifying situation he had ever heard. Fumiyo Edogawa had left with Conan just a half hour prior. Ran had just gone off, summoned urgently to Sonoko’s for some kind of wardrobe emergency (Or so the phone call indicated). And then, as soon as she had exited the office door, it had opened again. Yusaku Kudo. Kogoro tried not to resent and envy him. He had always been so bright, so above it all, seemingly, and he never struggled to connect the dots in any case. Nonetheless, he had not the drive to put his exceptional mental abilities to work solving crime and getting the bad people off the streets. Instead he gallivanted all over the world, thinking up more and more ingenious ways for criminals to get away with murder.
But Kogoro had welcomed him in and offered him a seat at the couch, started tea, since Ran wasn’t there to do so, and muttered something about not realizing he was back in the country. It was as he turned back from the kettle that he’d noticed the urgency in Yusaku’s eyes, the utmost seriousness and Mouri had reacted by stiffening his own shoulders, as if he were about to be given an order.
“It’s about Shinichi, isn’t it,” Mouri had guessed.
He had tried to not to get too worked up when the kid had stopped showing up in school, but Ran mentioned it almost daily. He knew Shinichi shared his father’s keen and shrewd mind, but with an accompanying itch for justice and truth that probably got him into more trouble than was good for a sixteen year old. But then, Shinichi hardly seemed sixteen sometimes. He had lived alone, taken care of himself and was generally responsible, so when Ran had come home from Tropical Land and said he’d run off following the lead on a case, neither of them had been particularly alarmed. Surely he would turn up sooner or later. But then days turned into weeks, and weeks into a month. They’d been busy. Conan showed up, for one thing, and Mouri had been occupied with cases almost every day of the week. His bouts of amnesia had started, too. The time had slipped by and then finally Shinichi had reached out to Ran, some story about the being held up on a case longer than he expected and Mouri had let the matter rest. It was negligent, in retrospect.
Yusaku’s solemn nod was morose and grave. He had leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, a pyramid formed with his fingertips, like some kind of imitation of Holmes. “Where to begin…” he had mused with a helpless quirk of his brows. Then, without waiting for Mouri’s response, he went on, “I’m sure you’re privy to all available details regarding the circumstances of Shinichi’s absence.”
Kogoro had nodded, a nervousness creeping up under his collar. “Ran said he was on a case… I know he hasn’t been at school, but he sticks his nose into cases here and there. Calls often enough… I figured he at least let you two know where he is exactly…”
Yusaku bobbed his head in accordance with Mouri’s summation of the past month’s events, but with an anticipative air, waiting for his moment to pick up the tale. “He’s closer than you’d think,” Yusaku murmured dryly. “Truthfully, it’s been hard for me to believe it, but with the impossible removed all that remains is the improbable, and as Occam’s Razer says, the simplest answer is the best.”
Leave it to Yusaku Kudo to find the most complicated way of saying something.
“What I am saying is that my son disappeared after visiting Tropical Land and that very night, on the outskirts of said amusement park, a six year old boy was discovered by the security officers, a boy who ran from the police straight to my house, and who Ran found with Dr. Agasa in my library. A boy,” he finished, his youthful face betraying lines of fatigue and stress, “Who coincidentally bears a name created from the conglomeration of two famous mystery authors, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and Edogawa Ranpo.”
Mouri had swallowed a hard lump, jogged into motion by the sputtering of the kettle. “Dr. Agasa said he was a relative. You’re saying Shinichi’s disappearance and Conan’s appearance are connected?”
“I’m afraid so.”
Mouri waited patiently through Yusaku’s dramatic interlude.
“From what I understand, and I’m likely to know more in the next few days, Shinichi stumbled across some kind of illegal transaction between members of a sophisticated, international crime syndicate and a business owner. While he was gathering evidence of the crime, he was discovered—.”
Here, Mouri had interrupted, “—But Ran has spoken with him! He calls! If he was hurt or… He solved a case just the other day over the phone…!”
“The associates of the criminal organization intended to silence him, but their plans went awry in a most unexpected way,” Yusaku supplied readily. “It seems they had developed a poison, one which would dissolve within its victim, traceless, lethal, a terrifying advancement in chemistry, and they chose Shinichi as the lab rat. But the drug did not work as intended. In fact, it worked in a way I’m sure the organization could not have begun to predict.” Yusaku’s earnest eyes met Mouri’s with a willing intensity, pushing him connect the pieces together.
Once the thought entered Mouri’s head, there was no dispelling it, no matter how insane it seemed. Could Conan Edogawa and Shinichi Kudo be one and the same? Was that the conclusion Yusaku was trying to imply? In some small way, it made a lot of things make sense. The kid was always fluttering around at crime scenes, pointing out small details, poking his nose behind the crime scene tape without a bit of the natural reservation one would expect for a six year old, none of the fear or disgust that ought to be present. And the details he pointed out were always important, always key bits of evidence. Only a mystery nut like Shinichi would come up with a stupid alias like ‘Conan Edogawa,’ too! And Kogoro had seen more success since the boy showed up. His fame, his recognition as a detective only started AFTER Conan had arrived and started guiding the investigations. His amnesia had started up around then, too.
And the more he thought about it, the more sense it made, the more he felt as though he already knew, even before Yusaku spelled it out for him. He knew the pricking feeling, like a spark against his skin, the last thing he’d feel before he’d wake up having solved another case. And then there was the time that he’d started to rouse just slightly and he could hear himself, as if the voice were emanating from the air itself, so competent, so controlled, exposing the devious tricks of the culprit to the room of stunned and attentive suspects. He’d done the logical thing and told himself it was just some kind of delusion, some kind of side effect of his isolated memory loss. He only THOUGHT his mouth wasn’t moving. He only THOUGHT his voice was emanating from elsewhere. It made sense if the brat was somehow shooting him with a tranquilizer and inducing the sleeping state, then emulating his voice to deliver deductions, because no one would listen to the deduction show of a six year old…
The emotions had flooded him in distinct and ferocious waves. Indignation, fury, confusion, worry… Why hadn’t Shinichi just explained the truth? How could he so callously let Ran wait for him, let her carry to burden of his absence and yearn for his presence while all along he was standing right beside her? How dare he repeatedly inject him with God only knows what kind of serum and impersonate him!?
“I can’t pretend I’m entirely on board with how he decided to handle the situation,” Yusaku remarked, as if reading Mouri’s mind. “He had to think fast, though, and Dr. Agasa did suggest that he position himself alongside you, and keep his identity secret, just in case the syndicate came to check up on their attempted elimination. It is true that were the criminals to know the truth, both about the drug’s effect and that Shinichi survived, it would pose danger to all of his associations. I have made contacts with friends in Interpol and other authorities in an attempt to facilitate their capture and dismantling, but so far I have no leads, and in the meantime, Shinichi Kudo cannot exist. You may have suspected already, but Fumiyo Edogawa was just Yukiko in one of her disguises, and we have a plan by which we intend to show him the true danger he’s in. It is my hope that we can take him out of the country, but…” Yusaku sighed, breaking off his stream of words with an almost wistful expression, “Knowing my son, no matter how the next couple of days play out, he won’t want to leave. He’ll want to solve this case, to hold the criminals accountable for what they’ve done and bring the organization to justice. That is why I came to see you. Because in order for him to do that, should he choose to, in order for him to remain here with access to information to cases and criminal activity, he would need to remain in your custody.”
“So you want to run away to America again? You said it was an international syndicate. What if they follow you?”
“Our information is so limited right now. There’s little else that can be done…”
Something about the way Yusaku finished made Mouri think there was an unspoken “Unless” lingering in the stale air between the two of them.
Mouri surprised himself when he filled in the unspoken statement himself, “Unless we wait for them to make a move, linger and wait in the right place, for the right time.” He warmed to the concept quickly, gathering momentum with every word, “The more cases I take, the more likely I’ll stumble upon their activity. The more information I can glean, the better chances we have to take down the organization, to determine the components of the drug and procure an antidote. You won’t say it, but you’re asking me to play along, aren’t you? To let him stay here, to let him hide behind the ‘Sleeping Kogoro’ he created?”
“It’s a lot of ask…”
Mouri flashed him a dark glance.
No, Mouri wasn’t the brightest. He wasn’t a genius. He wasn’t like these crazy natural detectives with their lightning fast deductive abilities and photographic memories, with databanks for brains. But he didn’t need to be a genius to understand the situation as it had been laid before him. He didn’t have to be a mastermind to see how he could be helpful. By taking in Shinichi, or…Conan Edogawa…He would shoulder the dangers if he stumbled upon important information. He would be the shield. The cover. The mask. And all he had to do was act oblivious to it all, to let “Conan” solve the cases through him, and if this secret organization came calling, they wouldn’t suspect the six year old kid—they’d suspect the “great” detective.
“I don’t want him to know…” Yusaku murmured, seeming to sense that Mouri had already, without words, agreed without question.
Mouri arched a brow. “Why is that? Wouldn’t it be more effective if we worked together as a collaborative team? He wouldn’t have to knock me out as much. I could easily deliver the deductions if he guided me through his thought process. Besides, the tranquilizer or whatever he’s using is already losing its effect on me.”
“Shinichi is proud,” Yusaku replied thoughtfully, “And has a chivalrous fault. I’m sure the reason he didn’t tell you initially was to spare you the burden of the knowledge. No doubt he felt that by keeping you and Ran in the dark if the organization were to question you your answers would be honestly innocent. If he knew your involvement, he might do something rash, like refusing to stay. I need him somewhere relatively safe and controlled. This syndicate is a bigger nest of rats than even I could have dreamed up…”
“Why not just order him to go to America with you? Force him to let the authorities handle it.”
Yusaku met Mouri’s gaze, holding it just a moment too long. “Were it you, would you be able to live with yourself if you ran and hid?”
And that was how Mouri ended up with Conan Edogawa as a temporary house guest, though lately it seemed like a permanent arrangement. Yusaku kept him updated with the progress of the case against the “Black Organization” and in the meantime he solved cases and allowed, within reason, Shinichi do his own line of investigation. Of course, part of the deal was that he had to keep the organization from having Conan Edogawa on their radar, a harder job than Mouri had bargained for. Shinichi seemed to forget he was supposed to be a grade-schooler the moment a mystery presented itself, running head first into the trouble, crawling all over crime scenes, and countless times Mouri felt he was being just a TAD too obvious. At those times, Mouri quite relished in his ability to pick him up like a sack of potatoes and toss him out of the way…
The tranquilizer had long worn of having any effect upon him at all, but he still spun and flopped around the room until he found a convenient place to plop himself down and assume the pose of the sleeping detective. Sometimes, just for fun, he would prolong the moment, making it more and more ridiculous, playing his character. Other times, he almost felt the two of them were working together, Shinichi “Ah-le-le-ing” the clues so that Mouri could slowly, slowly get the picture. Those times felt good, like he was learning, like Shinichi trusted that he had the ability to make the deductions, giving him the extra time he needed in order to do so. Other times, he was just a snotty little brat, like he was enjoying the chance to be as annoying to Mouri as possible.
And at the end of the day, Shinichi remained, as he had promised to Yusaku, oblivious to Mouri’s knowledge of his true identity, close enough to keep an eye on, but with enough free rein to investigate, to do his part to seek justice. And Mouri played his part, silly and slow and stupid, because the Black Organization might feel threatened by the astute Sleeping Kogoro, but not when they saw him carefree and drinking, making racing bets and wasting his time at the mahjong table. They were his means of escape, part of his disguise, and lately the only place he could turn to because there was no one to talk to, no one he could tell and little he could do. The inaction ate at his insides. The silence was suffocating; the danger too real.
But it was also the reason Ran was so upset this particular morning. Another late night, home after midnight, stinking of alcohol, pathetic… She had a big Karate thing going on at the school this morning, starting quite early. She was no doubt expecting he would be up to see her off and wish her luck, but he’d been out so late that by the time he awoke she was already dressed and ready to leave, not to mention she had lost sleep herself getting him to bed… She hadn’t made breakfast, leaving him and Conan to fend for themselves.
He ruffled the page of his paper, the tiny print blurring. The headline was something about crime rates rising, but he hadn’t been reading it this whole time, just holding it in front of his face while his mind wandered endlessly. For a moment, he returned to reality, aware, briefly of the muffled conversation from the tables surrounding him, but it was fleeting. His head was far too muddled to focus, far too lost in swirling emotion over the whole ordeal of the last year.
Had someone told him he’d be allowing Shinichi to live under the same roof as Ran at sixteen, if someone told him he’d be casually getting breakfast with him on a Saturday morning, he would have told them they were crazy, and then probably dealt them a fair cobra twist for good measure. But for all the grief he gave Ran about all of Shinichi’s worst qualities, he knew he would rather she was with him than anyone else. And after her return from her class trip to Kiyomizu, he was fairly certain they had graduated from childhood friends to something closer. And he wasn’t so sure he liked it…
The cocky annoying brat…
He ought to be focusing on his case, on the evil murderous syndicate looming over his life, not running off on a school trip, somehow, miraculously, returning to his original form just for the occasion, flashing his face all over Kyoto, engaging in grandiose deduction shows and finding time to cement his relationship with Ran to boot. It wasn’t safe, it wasn’t smart. For all his genius, he could be incredibly stupid, Kogoro fumed.
And it wasn’t exactly fair to Ran either, to send her back from the school trip the same way he had left her at that fancy restaurant, and in London, disappearing as if he were the phantom thief! One minute there, the next minute gone, leaving Ran to wait endlessly, day after day, wondering when the next news would arrive. All the while he was right there, eating dessert with her at the restaurant, holding her hand as they walked across the street on the way to their respective schools. So near, yet so far. Mouri knew the pain of being apart from the person you cared most deeply about. He knew how the ache could eat at one’s soul, and he couldn’t stand to see that pain in his daughter’s eyes.
Of course, it wasn’t Shinichi’s fault exactly that the makeshift antidotes always seemed to wear off at the worst moment. And Mouri had recognized the tragic, lost expressions on Conan’s face time and time again, an expression of longing and frustration that no child could suffer. There were times that Shinichi got on his nerves, especially when he was being particularly indiscrete at a crime scene and making not only Ran, but everyone else suspicious, and he had taken advantage of their dynamic to make many a pointed comment about Shinichi’s defects in front of him. At the same time, however, he had also seen Shinichi’s face grow weary and sad, weighted down by the immensity of the situation he had found himself in. At times like that, Kogoro did what he could either to redirect his attention, involve him in a case or just offer some slight praise to Shinichi, some slight nudge of encouragement, even if he couldn’t say it outright. In his own small way, Kogoro tried to uplift him when he could. Because, ultimately, that boy was going to be his son-in-law. And Yusaku was right, Shinichi was chivalrous and proud, and he adored Ran with an undying loyalty that Mouri had to respect.
“Kogoro-no-ojisan!”
There was a nudge at his elbow and he jolted, jostling his coffee mug and the hot, dark liquid sloshed over the rim and polka-dotted the front of his suit. Looking down at the young boy beside him on the booth seat he scowled menacingly, gruff with his reply, “What do you want?!”
“It’s time to order!”
Startled, he turned his head to find Tooru Amuro grinning with polite patience. “I’ll get you some napkins!” He turned quickly, running his fingers through his bangs to brush them out of his eyes in his haste.
Mouri waved away the concern, however, calling him back. “Don’t bother, not much spilled.”
“I can come back if you’re not ready yet.”
Shaking his head, Mouri ordering his usual absentmindedly. Beside him, Conan chirped that he’d like an egg on toast and Amuro turned away back to the café counter. Mouri was about to return to his perusal of the paper when he noticed Shinichi’s eyes lingering on his face with that same, unnerving, calculating stare Yusaku had, like he was peeling back false pretenses, looking directly into Mouri’s deepest thoughts. He bristled, crooked an eyebrow and glared back. “What do you want?” he snapped. Unable to hold back from mocking him a little, he added, “The comic section?”
He noted the reddish tint to Shinichi’s ears at being talked down to like the child he appeared to be and it satisfied Mouri’s pettiness. Gradually he shook his head, “You seem distracted…”
“Sometimes adults have complex thoughts.”
“Is it a case?” Conan pressed with a hopeful eagerness. He’d been pouting most of the morning, slouched in the booth with his arms crossed, though Kogoro wasn’t sure why, and the possibility of something to do seemed to instantly excite him.
“It’s not a case,” Mouri replied, dashing the boy’s hopes.
He slunk back into the cushions, his feet dangling pathetically and his chin dipped into the collar of his shirt. “Oh.”
Pathetic.
“What’s your problem today?” Mouri relented to ask, setting the paper aside and leaning back.
“Nothing…”
“You know you shouldn’t WANT there to be cases,” Mouri patronized, “A case means someone committed a crime.”
Conan’s eyes flashed behind the lens of his glasses. “I don’t WANT there to be crime.”
“Then why do you seem so disappointed?”
“No reason.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and dipped even further in his seat. “I wonder how long the tournament is…”
Mouri rolled his eyes. “Don’t you have your Detective brat squad to loiter around with today?”
“They’re going to see the Kamen Yaiba movie.”
“You’re not?”
Conan shrugged. “I told them I was going to Ran’s karate tournament.”
Mouri frowned. This particular tournament, more of an exhibition that the Karate club had organized to get more members, was not open to public audience. Since it was a Saturday, and the school access was limited, attendance was restricted to Teitan High students only. Conan couldn’t go. And now it made sense why he was sulking. Because had he been Shinichi, he would be cheering Ran on, supporting her, being the kind of person she could depend upon… But he was forced, in yet another way, to let her down.
Sighing, Mouri drained the last of his coffee. “Maybe after we eat we can walk over there, then,” he found himself saying, “Maybe we can sneak in.”
Conan’s head bobbed up at this, undisguised surprise clearly painted across his features. “You want to go, too?”
He grunted. “I have a lot to make up to her, too.”
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