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I like how the only times I go on tumblr is to recover from books that mentally destroyed me

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Tumblr Drabblings Masterlist

Hey fam! For those who are curious here’s everything I’ve got posted on tumblr. Almost everything here can also be found somewhere on my ao3.

Specifically, I’ve got a lil collection just for these. Well, most of them. Some have their own separate fics if they got long enough or I just felt like it. If you have any questions, feel free to toss me an ask!

100 Followers: andreil + kitties 100 Followers: wolfstar + hand holding 100 Followers: andreil + cuddling/big spoon andrew 100 Followers: foxes find out about mary - also here 100 Followers: Uncle!Andreil 100 Followers: BFF Kevin & Andrew - also here 100 Followers: pynch + sleepover Twinyards Week - Daemons AU Kisses: andreil + top of the head kiss Kisses: andreil + pouty face Kisses: andreil + kiss down the neck/jaw Kisses: andreil + distracting kisses Kisses: andreil + cold hands/stumbling 100 Followers: Andrew discussing his relationship with Neil - and here 100 Followers: Aaron beating the f*ck out of Jack Kisses: andreil + throwing their arms around the other/passionate kiss Kisses: pynch + hand kisses/interruption 100 Followers: Aaron with an ED 100 Followers: Christmas morning w/andreil + fam Kisses: pynch + gentle kiss into passion 100 Followers: Smiling/laughing Andrew Kisses: pynch + sweaty kisses/whispered words of love 100 Followers: Andreil Proposal General Ask: Aaron with an ED pt 2

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The Hoely Trinity

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Herongraystairs Incorrect Quotes

Because it’s been a while

Will: You’re a lying piece of shit! Tessa: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Will: I’m leaving and I’m taking Jem with me! Jem, gathering cards: Aaaaand that’s enough Monopoly for today.

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Jem, whispering to Will, who’s on the phone with Tessa: Ask her something! Will: How are you feeling? Tessa: Fine. Jem: Something personal! Will: At what age did you first get your period?

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Jem: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Will: Okay, but in my defense, Jessie bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Jem: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

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Tessa, driving Will and Jem: So how was your day? Will: We almost got surprise adopted! Tessa: What? Jem: We almost got kidnapped. Tessa: Oh, okay. Tessa: *slams on the breaks*: WAIT WHAT?!

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Jem: I’m worried about Will Tessa: Same, he called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, “what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?” Jem: And what’d you say? Tessa: “I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno.” Jem: Jem: I’m so lucky to have the two of you as my friends

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Jem: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Will: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Jem: THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Will: Hmm… I’ve been drinking soda and my body’s rust free… not sure where you’re getting your facts from…

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Jem: What if mayonnaise came in cans? Will: Well, that would such because you can’t microwave metal. Tessa: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

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Will: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. Jessamine: Did Jem say ‘I love you’ and you said 'Thanks’? Will: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

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Tessa: *pitches an idea* Will, impressed: Huh, there might be something here! Jem, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

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Will: You know you’ve made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. Jem: Those are wanted posters!

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Will: Life keeps fucking me and I can’t remember the safeword.

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Tessa: Will annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow. Jem: There is nothing special about tomorrow. Tessa: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

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Tessa: Ducks are better than rabbits. Will: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. Tessa: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Will: We’re not talking about flavour, Tess! Tessa: Flavour counts! Will: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Tessa: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier? Will: Okay, but- Tessa: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? Will: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out! Tessa: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, Will! Will: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, Theresa! Jem: I- By the angel-

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Tessa: So, what is Will to you? Jem: The reason I wake up every morning. Tessa: That’s so adorable. Will earlier that morning, barging into Jem′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

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Jem: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people? Jessamine: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause. Jem: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though? Jessamine: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

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Will: *slams books down in front of Jem* Will: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Jem: You could have said literally anything else. Will: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble. Jem: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

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Tessa: Fight me! Will and Jem, standing behind her and holding knives: *silently* Do not.

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Jem: We all have our demons. Jem, grabbing Will: This one’s mine.

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Tessa: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Will: I’m “a couple of things”. Jem: I’m “got distracted”.

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Jem: I didn’t drink that much last night. Jessamine: You were flirting with Will and Tessa. Jem: So what? We’re dating. Jessamine: You asked if they were single. Jessamine: And then you cried when they said they weren’t.

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~Cast Long Shadows, Ghosts of the Shadow Market.

I would like to point out:

1) This means that Brother Enoch has a crush on Tessa

2) The absolute hilarity of ‘tired of two names ceaselessly echoing in their minds’: I can just imagine a Silent Brother being serious and drawing some kid’s first rune or performing a ceremony, and in the background all he’s able to hear is Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa Will Tessa…..

Every Silent Brother on earth: ZACHARIAH SHUT UP

Jem: I’m not even saying anything…

Silent Brothers: STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR GAY CRUSH ON YOUR PARABATAI AND YOUR TRAGIC LOVE STORY WITH YOUR EX-FIANCE IT’S MAKING US HAVE WEIRD THOUGHTS

Jem: …

Jem: Seriously, are you all bisexual?

Silent Brothers: SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP

Jem:…

*After he gets set on fire by Jace Herondale because, you know, Herondales*

Silent Brothers: It’s so nice and quiet.

Silent Brothers: Something is wrong.

Silent Brothers: I am no longer in love with a warlock, thank heavens.

Silent Brothers: By the Angel, he finally shut up about those two

Silent Brothers: WAIT HE SHUT UP ABOUT THOSE TWO WHAT SOMEONE CALL 911-

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my friend posted this on twitter & nobody has ever been more correct

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 Guys, I heard children outside in the backyard of my school, and i’m on the fifth floor, but right above the playground, so I threw a paper airplane with a little message on it to them, and then they got excited so I threw another one, and then I threw another, and then another, and then they started making requests like “tell us a story” and I wrote a little thing about me throwing airplanes out the window or “draw us a picture of yourself” and i drew a picture that didn’t look too great but they thought it was fun and they’d expectantly wait and I’d throw another and they’d be screaming and chasing it and trying to figure out who i am and stuff and after twenty minutes, and, like, forty airplanes i sent one that said “do you wanna see me” and they were excited and started chanting so i threw one that said “countdown” and they counted down from ten and then i actually poked my head out the window because they still hadn’t seen me yet and i had a handful of, like, twenty paper airplanes with me and i threw them all one at a time as they tried to catch them like a giant ticket blaster at chuckie cheese, and the look of pure delight and joy on those kids’ faces was worth all that time and paper.

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andrew minyard’s greatest exy hits

- asking wymack to choose a number between 1 and 5 and letting the opposition have only those many goals before he shut them out completely

- the time he remembered that striker’s go to penalty shot and saved an impossible fucking goal by moving before the dude even caught the ball

- the ravens attempted ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY (150) goals (the actual fuck) and he only let in THIRTEEN (13),,,,,, sir

- when he made nicky instigate a fight on purpose so he’d get the ball from the penalty shot and rebound it to neil to make a goal because “the game was getting boring”

- also andrew stopping every goal in that second half and bouncing off rebounds off the opposition’s helmets just to rile them further

- the time he shut out the goal completely when neil asked him to and for the first time ever started talking to the defense and chewed them out and matt was straight up grinning like it was the most fun he’d had in years

- his mad gamble in the final raven match to switch neil’s position from a striker to a backliner?? (fucking genius). also him letting renee play the first half because he knew he could control the game in half 2 if she showed him how they played

and this dude “hates” the game. ok

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Andrew, to Neil: my body is very attracted to your body, but when you speak my brain gets angry

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Aaron: which state do you live in?

Neil: constant anxiety.

Kevin: denial.

Andrew: trauma-induced rage.

Allison: perfection.

Nicky: gay panic.

Aaron: South Carolina. We live in SoUTh CaROliNA!

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can't stop won’t stop thinking about Will “lovingly unfastens your corset” Herondale and Jem “corset ripping” Carstairs and the fact that they basically swapped personalities when it comes to bed.

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"one in 4 people is gay*

Alastair: *looks at the merry thieves*

Alastair: I hope its Thomas

Alastair: Thomas is cute

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thomas: yeah i will throw you into the thames if you ever talked to me again but i would still screw you if you asked

alastair, absolute confusion: what?

matthew, horrified: what?

thomas, gay panicking: what?

christopher, eating lemon tarts in the background: you said you would screw alastair if he asked

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OMG THE CARDS YALL IM CRYING

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fictional women: ★★★★★

fictional women who threaten people with their sexy daggers: ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

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Yes, bestie, you tell them.

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*feels single*

*looks at the men in this world*

*goes back to my book boyfriends*