Tumgik
disasterdemi · 5 days
Text
Tumblr media
Me literally anytime I go on Ao3
5K notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 9 days
Text
Anthologies including aro stories
(that I have read recently)
I know most people probably aren't going to read an anthology because it has one aro story in it (well, I would. And have done so!) But here's a little list in case any of these interest anyone generally, or people have access to them and would like to check out the aro stories.
1. Everything Under the Moon (Ed. Michael Earp). Aro story is Seeing Colour by Jes Layton.
I've already talked about this one, I think it's my favourite on the list (the story itself and the anthology as a whole). The anthology is full of queer fairytale retellings, and Seeing Colour is about a young aro person getting to know an older single person.
2. An Unexpected Party (Ed. Seth Malacari). Aro story is The Graveyard Shift by Jes Layton.
I also enjoyed this one, it's an Australian queer YA spec fic anthology with a deliberate focus on less common queer rep (lots of trans, nonbinary rep) and emerging writers. Being aro isn't really a focus of the story but it does use the phrase "alloromantic bullshit". There was another story with an ace character who might have been meant to be aro as well?
3. This is Our Rainbow (Ed. Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby). Aro story is Girl's Best Friend by Lisa Jenn Bigelow.
A queer middle grade anthology. While not explicitly an aroace story, it does explicitly talk about having a squish on someone, who the MC attempts to befriend by turning into a dog. (I also believe the author is aroace?)
4. Out There: Into the Queer New Yonder (Ed. Saundra Mitchell). Aro story is The Undeniable Price of Everything by Z Brewer.
YA queer futuristic anthology. Unfortunately I found the aro story in this one of the weaker stories in the anthology, as it was a bit confusing. I also just didn't like the anthology as much as a whole either, but that might just be because it was more romance focused and I wasn't as interested.
83 notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 9 days
Text
Tumblr media
ALT
You gotta admit, they look pretty good together.
This is my YA trilogy about a traumatised teenage assassin trying and failing to live a normal life in a fictional closed city in Yorkshire. If you’ve been looking for YA with no romance, morally ambiguous (or outright terrible) characters, tons of murder, revolutionary librarians, poison, Esperanto, loving descriptions of street art, and varying degrees of critique of the military and the arms industry (from subtle to overt as the trilogy continues), then this might be the series for you. The Butterfly Assassin and The Hummingbird Killer are out now; Moth to a Flame will be released on 23rd May. Full details of all of them are on my website.
96 notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 12 days
Text
This is something of a sequel to my original essay on being loveless.
It's also a discussion of the ways love is wielded against allo-aros, the a-spec community's ongoing conflation of love and attraction, and the impact allosexual aromanticism has on my lovelessness.
Because too often, unfortunately, I see loveless aromantic identity communicated and celebrated so as to exclude me, and other allosexual aros, from it.
I hope that's something we can begin to change this Aro Week.
196 notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 12 days
Text
my take on shipping aromantic characters is that if you're aro you get to do whatever you want and if you're not you have to write me a three page essay 12 pt font times new roman double spaced explaining in detail why you believe entering a romantic relationship would be an interesting and worthwhile storyline for the character and how you believe their aromanticism would affect the way they experience said relationship
21K notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 13 days
Text
honestly my advice for people questioning if they're aro is kind of the same as my advice for people questioning if they're trans which is do less worrying about whether or not you inherently fall into this arbitrary category and do more considering what you want in and from your life. like ultimately deconstructing societal ideals of what relationships (or gender) should be like and figuring out what you want them to look like in your life is what matters and whether or not you experience romantic attraction is kind of immaterial
11K notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 13 days
Text
You say you accept aromanticism but do you only accept it as long as it fits your expectations? Do you only accept it as long as I keep my options open, as long as I don’t 100% settle on this label, as long as I allow you a small amount of hope that one day I’ll tell you I’ve changed, I’ve seen the light, I’ve found the One?
You say you accept aromanticism, but is your acceptance conditional on my redemption through platonic love? Do I have to prove to you that I am likable, that I am lovable, that I am human? Do I have to be touch starved, do I have to be lonely, do I have to feel like I am missing out?
You say you accept aromanticism, but do you believe me when I speak about dehumanization, about my anger at being pitied? Do you put yourself in my shoes and imagine the effort it takes to shape a future that looks like most people's worst fear? Do you understand that my life is not sad for not following your rigid guideline to happiness?
You say you accept aromanticism, but do you accept the changes I demand of society? Do you accept that relationship hierarchies are not inherent but learned? Do you accept that community is more meaningful in fighting the loneliness epidemic than finding the One? Do you notice that society is predisposed to benefit couples over singles? Do you realize that this is wrong?
If you say you accept aromanticism but only do so as long as I am quiet about it, as long as I make no demands, offer no criticism, draw no attention to myself, then I do not care for your acceptance because your acceptance isn't real.
3K notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 21 days
Text
One of the most insidious messages we receive as aromantic people is the idea there is nothing to be gained from a platonic relationship that one can’t get from a romantic relationship. The media we consume every day tells us that what we have to offer would be somehow better if it were given in a romantic, rather than platonic context. It tells us things like emotional support, laughter, care, and love are more valuable within the confines of a romantic relationship.
This can leave an aromantic person feeling as if they have nothing unique or valuable to offer, and the things they could provide to the people they care about would be better had from a romantic partner. That they themselves are superfluous and unnecessary.
These are lies. You are beautiful, and valuable, and you have more to offer than you will ever know. You may never see it yourself, but every person who chooses to have you in their life sees something in you that is worthwhile. There is something they receive from you they don’t get from anyone else, and it’s likely something different for every person who knows you.
You are special. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to feel like you’re enough, because you are.
You are.
3K notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
to all my fellow heartless who lack romantic notions... happy valentines 🫀✨
4K notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 1 month
Text
i said it last year but genuinely it still surprises me in a good way that trending is something we can even Do now. the cure for aro loneliness is community <2
226 notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 1 month
Text
aspecs: i've been thinking a lot lately about the "ace people can still have sex in a relationship/aro people can still be in romantic relationships" sentiment and the logistics of being aspec in relationships in general. obviously, the predominant sentiment is that you should be able to have a relationship where the other person will be happy without having sex/being romantic with you. if you feel comfortable sharing in tags/replies/reblogs/asks/whatever, though, i'd really like to hear people's experiences with sex/romance in relationships as an ace/aro person. have you found it generally possible to have a relationship with an allo person when you're ace and don't want to engage in sex? what are people's experiences being aro and being in relationships (labeled romantic or otherwise) with alloros? reblogging for reach is appreciated and any related experiences you feel comfortable sharing are completely welcome <2
220 notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 1 month
Note
I'm so fucking glad I found out what asexuality and aromanticism is
I'm not either, but for a brief period of time I identified as both and let me tell you: your guys' community aided me in my Complex PTSD recovery (well "recovery" bc the symptoms arent gone, theyre just lessened and I am able to work around them but thats still a big deal!!).
Um. I can't spell. Autonormativity? That thing: it changed my life. Before I even knew the name for it.
For most of my recovery attempts in therapy, my therapists insisted that I needed to make sex and romance a part of my recovery. Like, I would make future goals and they would guilt trip me about not making having a sexual & romantic relationship be one of my goals. My goals were to be able to stop a panic attack when seeing sexual content, being able to have discussions about romance & sex without breaking down and crying, feel brave enough to discuss my boundaries regarding romance & sex to partners and friends, and some other personal stuff.
Only when your guys' community told me "hey, a lot of us live happily without sex, romance, or even both and it's perfectly acceptable to not want those things" was I able to give romance & sex a try again. Because it was no longer an obligation! It was no longer a "if you fail this, your life is over" type thing! I found out that some aromantics test out romance, don't like it, and go on to live happy lives anyways and it blew my world view to smithereens!
Now, I am a very sexual and romantic person, but even if I wasn't I know it would be okay. I look at my past self when I was a 8, 9, and 10 yr old and I was crying all the time about how scared I was of never getting a boyfriend (which then grew into disgust for romantic & sexual stuff). Which is silly and also kinda sad!! Why would anyone make a child feel that way!!
Anyways, I am a huge ally! And even if your guys' community didn't save my life, I would still be a huge ally! Thank you for listening!
I'm very happy that the aspec community was able to help you even if you're not a part of it, and congratulations on your journey! This was really nice to read
82 notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
I love that this is a tradition now hehe 💚🩷
21 notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 2 months
Text
Destined to be a hopeless romantic, forced to be a Demi disaster
I hate it here
59 notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
i've literally caught myself doing this before :pensive:
me when the amatonormativity
1K notes · View notes
disasterdemi · 2 months
Text
what are you even supposed to do when your friends who are dating kiss in front of you Like do i just stand there or
38K notes · View notes