devjakl

[devjakl]

jesus didn’t die for your sins

you die for your own.

you paid all of your debts

but you cannot go home.

the father cursed the skirt for being short.

the mother cursed him for staring.

then cursed you, the competition.

the teacher kept your seat close to the board.

in hindsight, kept you closer to his desk.

the pastor brushed his hands against your back.

this is life in reparation.

[devjakl]

Ellie / TOUR.

[devjakl]

Van McCann

[devjakl]

This fucker 

[devjakl]

iamhalsey: abortionfunds.org

[devjakl]

soundcheck music video x play the greatest hits by wolf alice

never knew i needed this but .....

[devjakl]

[devjakl]

what an angel.. (x)

[devjakl]

still can't believe the first one is edited and i only found out this week ...

[devjakl]

[devjakl]

and you don’t own worries or a chest full of heartache

[devjakl]

You can’t escape from your past Ryan Evan McCann….

(Again, thanks to @trinkenundvergessen !!)

[devjakl]

✨ catfish discord server ✨

hiii guys! i've made a catfish discord server because an anon asked and also because Tumblr's chat function is archaic and it's hard to have group conversations! here's the invite link: https://discord.gg/CmQJPBzfSs please read the rules when you join! also, I don't have a public twitter/instagram account so anyone who has a catfish twitter/instagram fan account please share it on there, anyone is invited to join! (it's just @catb-fics and I chilling by ourselves rn hahah)

[devjakl]

T-4 days to Van’s birthday!

x

[devjakl]

shout out to van for busting his ass

[devjakl]

my entire life revolves around these 3 seconds

[devjakl]

A LETTER TO MY 17 YEAR OLD SELF

Hey Sam, it’s Sam from the future. You’re probably wondering how I've mastered the art of time travel, and you’re definitely fantasizing about some neo-futuristic alternate universe that looks like a cross between Star Wars and Blade Runner. Don’t build your hopes up - phones get a bit better and the internet is an even bigger cesspit than it was then.

17 is when all the challenges begin: you’re not a baby, but you’re definitely not an adult (turns out that bit takes a lot longer than you think). I'm not even sure it’ll happen at all for you, but growing up is for fools and the near dead, so stop being so serious all the time. Right now I’m imagining you on the back step of Mam’s flat on Verne Road in North Shields, smoking some shite baccy, blasting Revolver out of that sketchy CD player at such an obnoxious level that it reaches you in the backyard - and every neighbour in a square mile (if you look hard enough through your brother’s collection you’ll find a copy of Revolver where ‘She Said She Said’ doesn’t skip).

You’ll be sitting there thinking about how Whitley High Sixth Form is a waste of time and how you may as well have started working in a bar the moment you left John Spence High School in Shields. It was, you’re right.

You’ll be thinking you don’t belong there, Truth is you don’t, you’re a Shields boy with ADHD. You have the attention span of a toddler who’s jacked up on unlimited pick ‘n’ mix. The only thing that ever had your attention was music. You end up having 60% attendance for your two years there, missing an average of two days a week and surprise surprise, you fail all your exams. Although the failure is humiliating, it is not an accurate representation of your ability, you are not a loser, you are not a ‘failed musician’ as one of the kids in your class at Whitley pleasantly put it (they will appear in your DM’s 8 years later, licking your arse).

That failure and humiliation wasn't only felt at school but was felt in almost every area of adolescence. Like a lot of people you will accumulate self esteem issues from some pretty bad bullies; from broken relationships with family; from loss and feelings of abandonment; even your physical health will severely fail you at the age of 20. But this is your superpower.

All of the gloom that is unfairly thrusted upon the vast majority of us at this age, leaves us with a choice. You can become a charity case, you can fall victim to the vices and their destruction; or you can harness it and use it to drive forward. The stories that come from these places are universal, they transcend life’s suffering and the monotony of dead end work, they level the insanity of modern day anxiety.

Art is the purest remedy for all internal conflict and you’re taking a career in it. It’s an honour to do what you will do, never forget that. You may feel alone currently but you will realise that your stories, when put to music, open up a side of you that actually helps people. A lot of these stories were originally about you but they belong to everyone, as everyone has their own, and they will be screamed back at you - from clubs and dive bars, even arenas. Some kid, 17, probably going through a boatload of similar shit that you experienced, will be front and centre, screaming these stories as if it’s their last night on earth.

This is what you were meant to do kid, keep on ignoring the ‘plan B’ rhetoric.

And keep on keepin on.

Big Love x