deuteragonized

[deuteragonized]

i would hold your hands while you drove

until sweat ran down my fingers

and even longer still

because i can feel

your heartbeat between them

pounding in my chest

and if i listen closely,

i can tell it’s beating just like mine

in tune, in sync

keeping the steady rhythm of love

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[deuteragonized]

i suppose some smoke lingered

on his chapped lips

because when i kissed them, i felt

the secondhand high seeping

into my

veins

chest

brain

and as he lit the flowers

that were pressed between his lips

just like i was

i saw him the way god must

stunning beyond description

illuminated only by the lights

that speckled his dashboard

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[deuteragonized]

Two gods intertwined

Bound by their journeys and scars

Love begins with them

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[deuteragonized]

when i close my eyes,

i wonder if i will face a darkness blacker

than the backs of my eyelids

i wonder if i will feel the flames lapping at my feet

or if there will be soft grass between my toes

when i close my eyes,

i wonder if i will meet my grandmother

and if she will tell me that she loves me

like she did last time

and when i close my eyes,

i wonder if i will have to wait

to see you all again

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[deuteragonized]

i yearn for him

i burn for him

his eyes are cobblestone

with moss creeping between the cracks

his body is mine,

sculpted of marble

by renaissance masters

yes, my darling is art

a museum of wonders that i am blessed to explore

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[deuteragonized]

writing poetry be like “he/him pussy” and it gets two hundred notes

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[deuteragonized]

*death threat*

sick of your bullshit

please don’t disrespect this acc

u are not my friend

[deuteragonized]

writing poetry be like “he/him pussy” and it gets two hundred notes

[deuteragonized]

he loves me.

i am broken

i am bloody

i am bruised

but he loves me.

he is constant and unwavering

as the sun

he shines on me and i am warm

because he loves me.

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[deuteragonized]

i have cast aside

my rose tinted glasses

to now watch you all through blue stained glass

polite smiles like the saints that line the walls

am i imagining my black wool?

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[deuteragonized]

the way he says my name

is like free verse poetry

far surpassing the old masters

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[deuteragonized]

when i saw his eyes up close the first time

it felt like the time i nearly drowned

the way his tides pushed me over

under and over again

and they were like exploring an empty palace

with mossy walls and blue-gray stone bricks

and ever since,

i’ve dreamt of being the prince of his kingdom

young, reckless, and wine-drunk

we are boys together, him and i

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[deuteragonized]

my darling has the face of an oil painting

and the body of a marbled god

if He is not the masterpiece of the renaissance

then surely mona lisa was beauty himself

but i am leonardo

and He,

Salvator Mundi

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[deuteragonized]

days like this do not hurt

but they beat me over the head and kill me

they throw me in the woods to rot

they swoop in from the skies and pick the meat from my bones

they crawl up through the earth and feast on my corpse

they walk upon me and crush my bones into splinters

and then they rain dirt on me

until i am lost to time

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[deuteragonized]

the only thing i would redo if i could

is i’d be kinder to myself

but i’ll make up for it now

just because you forgot about me

doesn’t mean i have to.

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[deuteragonized]

your eyes are full

like an ocean overflowing with tenderness

and being looked at with tenderness is new and awful to me

but you have touched me so kindly

and i can still feel it, now,

would it be awful to say that i could get used to this?

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[deuteragonized]

i am writing my first poem in months and

i looked at all of my ideas that never came to fruition

all about him and,

well, of course i couldn’t write them, because you can’t write dishonest poems

i cant

and when i read them i was sad for myself

because i do deserve softness

i do deserve love

you’ve shown me softness

and it is warm like whiskey in my stomach

oh, it is nice

oh, it is warm

oh, it is soft

thank you, darling

you don’t realize how much you’re worth to me

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