delusionalwoman

[delusionalwoman]

𝘈 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦, 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦𝘳.

[delusionalwoman]

Moving up, Changing up

I got a job promotion at work. Something I wanted for SO long. It doesn't come with a pay increase but comes with more responsibility and a title. Many would want a promotion that comes with more money, and rightfully so! But this job puts me in the centre of a busy, successful hospitality industry that leaves me in charge of the events, reservations and special occasions. Something that I know I WILL thrive in. Something that I have ASKED for, and shown that I deserve for the last 6 months. I worked through COVID, I took on jobs that made the managers more easy going and less stressful for them. I took charge of sections and felt like I wasn’t being appreciated... And then I was taken into a room and thanked, hugged, appreciated and given the thing I PROVED I deserved....and they agreed.  It sounds so strange, telling people that “no I don’t want the money, its a bonus but my new job entails me doing things i find so much passion in.” People have scoffed at my excitement. But I don’t care. I’ve had a meeting with my boss and head of HR and i’m spending a full week at a recruitment fare with managers from hotels all across UK. I’m in charge of MY hotels schedule and planning, along with dictating how we want to do our recruitment stand. I’ve to create reports about the day. All while simply talking to people, learning about the company. Harvesting new ways to do MY job and further others. 

I finished my qualification, I am now a part of management. 2 years of graft and work, staying late, proving myself, over coming sexual assault, suicidal thoughts, mental health. Getting my own flat, standing on my own two feet....I made it. I’ve made a title for myself.  “Good Morning thank you for contacting *name of hotel*  please find our Bievenue coordinator H linked into this email. She will be able to assist you further with more information about our events and our loyalty program aimed at people like yourself who aim to use our hotel as a hub during your event!” 

I did it. I’ve made it. 

#LifeLessons #work #promotion #daily life #mental health #drive to survive #hotellife #manager #events

[delusionalwoman]

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.

[delusionalwoman]

The fact that I have a group of friends that know my triggers. So much so that they implement safety in things we plan without me even ASKING.

Just shows the volume they know me and love me. That I could go to any one of them and they would help or they would know exactly what to do.

That I was shocked they helped and one of them replied with “We want you to be safe and loved and we will do anything to make sure you feel like that with us”

HELP MAN 🥺 upgrading friends!!

[delusionalwoman]

She caught feelings FYI

besties . i kissed someone i wasn’t supposed to . am i going to catch feelings . help .

[delusionalwoman]

It’s my boyfriends birthday today and he’s had a chill day with me and his family. Filled with a BBQ outside and a chocolate gateau for his cake. He’s seen his friends in a socially distanced outside drink get-together and is now snuggled in the living room playing Xbox with a cider and cake.

It’s been the opposite of the day I wanted to give him, his second lockdown birthday. But he just turned to me and went “ive had such an amazing day. I seen everyone I wanted to see and my girlfriend got me a cake and candles. I love how you got me candles and cake!”

Boy. I’ll get you candles and cake every day if it makes you this happy 🥺🥺 I’m glad you had a great day, now let’s go have sex ❤️😭

#spilled thoughts #boyfriend #chocolate cake #birthday #home & lifestyle

[delusionalwoman]

I will study. I will study. I will study. I will study. I will study. I will study. I will study. I will study. I will study.

#studyspo #writing #spilled thoughts #university #i procrastinate a lot #affirmations

[delusionalwoman]

Okay but why do I dig this so much?!?!? @dracofknmalfoy I could do this all night

Picrew Prompt Chain!

Poof!  You’re part animal!  What do you look like?

Link

Tagging: @funkystuffs05 @picrewfinder4x9 @trixl @boredom-reigns @jojolinecarlin @jadey-cat643​ @elmomightjustbegod​ @anyone else who wants to do this

[delusionalwoman]

Here I am 👁👄👁 I have no friends on here so @dracofknmalfoy show us another one!! 😂😂😂

ugh yes another picrew

here’s the link for this one <3

tagging my lovelies: @sirius-animagus @eunoniaa @thatsassyhufflepuff @narcissasimp777 @faeinorbit @destourtereaux @fjorelaant @justfangirlthingies @hellohellook @bunnybubkook

[delusionalwoman]

BRB. Passing away

hi i’m listening to my sad playlist so just ignore this i’m in my feelings

i’ll put a read more so u don’t have to scroll but i doubt i’ll write tonnes i don’t wanna be overly sad for too long LMAO

content warning: a tiny mention of depression, tiny mention of trauma, tiny mention of food/eating — this is basically a ramble of me being sad but you don’t have to read! i’m ok! just trying to cope in a healthy way!

for h&r: you’re literally one of my favourite things about being alive. the laughter we share in the groupchat at 3am as we mindlessly share sleep deprived stories or through talking about our ex partners or traumatic experiences. you have made every single bad experience of this year all that much easier.

r — thank you for helping me through 2018. i couldn’t have and wouldn’t have been able to do it alone, thank you for holding me whilst i cried over stupid boys and thank you for saving me from weird men at parties. your hands have always been the nicest to hold<3

h — after such a draining six months, the time we have been friends has been the best time of my life. the laughter u send in voice notes or rambles you send over about your boyfriend, it’s all enough to keep that smile on my face a little bit longer. i love you both through and past every planet. @delusionalwoman (i’m ok. don’t call an ambulance)

i don’t think anyone will fully be able to comprehend how dependent i am on my friends — probably because i went so long without being able to have any. but with h always encouraging my work and reading every piss piece of writing i publish at 4 in the morning after crying and going through a depressive episode, and b being there to make me laugh and help me eat again - i think i’m okay leaning on them when i need to. i went so long with the fear of judgement and coming across as weak and clingy not realising that as i pushed the two of them away, i was also pushing away the two people who make me the happiest little thing in the world. i don’t think i can thank them enough.

for my amazing mutuals who continue to read my work and make me feel like i’m actually ... good at what i do — thank you. i love you all so much <3

[delusionalwoman]

The fact that I wrote an entire ESSAY about my trauma in life and the end result. All so I can try and explain it to myself instead of having it festering in my brain. Writing an angry letter and throwing it away in some case.

I am TRYING to heal.

I am healing

#mental health #spilled thoughts #therapy #mental illness #self healing

[delusionalwoman]

Okay update. I was bored, but I just ate a fat slice of chocolate cake. So there’s a pro to every con

Am I hungry. Or am I just bored?

Find out in about 30 minutes

[delusionalwoman]

Am I hungry. Or am I just bored?

Find out in about 30 minutes

#spilled thoughts #food #hungry #good shit #so bored

[delusionalwoman]

comforted; george weasley

summary: modern au! y/n was cheated on by theodore nott two months ago. one late night, theo texts her about how much he misses her and y/n doesn’t hesitate to tell george. needless to say, george finds her in her livingroom angrily belting out breakup songs with tears falling from her eyes. as he comforts her like a good friend, it leads to a moment neither of them were expecting.

warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, mentions of insecurities regarding body image, kissing, light friends to lovers — not proofread. fem reader!

5 new messages from — y/n

22:31 — y/n: theo fucking texted me

22:31 — y/n: *1 image attached*

22:31 — y/n: “i miss you” FUCK OFF

22:46 — y/n: are u busy

22:47 —y/n: need a hug

22:49 — y/n: or some vodka

he had just got home from a long day at work, having to stay behind and help fred with some accounting paperwork, evidently getting lost in the piles and piles of things to be done when he had gotten her messages.

he didn’t reply until around 11:15pm.

23:13 — george: hey, i’m so sorry

23:13 — george: fred needed help with pwork

23:14 — george: omw. hope ur not sleeping

he had let himself in, using the key she had given him three years ago on the same day she’d moved in. as the lock clicked open, the deep rumbled vibrations of her alexa had rattled off of the hallway as soon as he had stepped inside.

“y/n?” he had called, closing the door softly behind him. no response.

he could hear her in the living room, and with the knowledge of her being conscious being granted to him through her singing — however, as he kicked off his shoes at the door, he heard her voice.

“alexa? shuffle my ‘fuck you theo nott!’ playlist on spotify”

there was a pause, before the device replied with a ‘shuffling fuck you theo nott! from spotify’ and within seconds, a new song was playing.

george made his way through the long hallway, before he was stopping at the doorframe, leaning his body against it as he watched y/n move around the room.

she was dressed in a pair of black running shorts and a grey bralette, nothing he hadn’t seen her in before. alongside this, her hair was pulled back into a very loose, very messy low bun which rested at the bottom of her skull.

“you alright, trouble?” george said, making himself known to his best friend as she twirled around in fright, holding her hand to her chest.

she sighed, before she was shaking her head no and walking over to him. he could see tiny beads of tears beginning to roll down her face and with that, he opened his arms for her to walk into. she did, of course. she always did.

he wrapped his arms around her frame at the same time her hands enclosed around the nape of his neck. they both closed their eyes at the feeling of being held and being in the moment with each-other, before george was smiling against her bare shoulder.

“alexa!” he called, “shuffle george’s playlist on spotify”

‘shuffling george’s playlist on spotify’

the low hum of a bon iver song fell through the room, as opposed to the loud, angry music that was playing when he entered. he could feel her shoulders jolt with a light laugh, before they were shaking with gentle cries.

he hushed her softly, pulling away and leading her through the flat until they had reached her bedroom. “c’mon, s’late. let’s go to bed, yeah?” he said, hearing the soft sounds of her bare feet padding against the wooden floor bouncing off of the walls as george helped her into bed.

“talk to me, m’darlin” he said, shifting the covers back so she could shuffle around and get comfortable underneath them.

she sniffed, “just shit, isn’t it? not being good enough” with the way she had said it, so nonchalant and unbothered — it made george frown, a deep crease settling between his eyebrows as he listened to her.

“i mean, i have to admit that i hadn’t been putting a lot of effort into my outfits and i don’t remember the last time i brushed my hair—”

george waved his hand in dismissal, “y/n,” he started. “theo cheated on you because he is a scumbag. y’know how i know that?” he asked, watching as she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

he sighed before he continued, “because you were amazing to him. y’don’t think i forgot that time you dragged me around town to find the perfect gift for his birthday?” he said, watching as a light flush fell over the tops of her cheeks at the memory.

“or that time you showed up at my flat in only a tiny, dainty little summer dress? soaked from the rain because he had stood you up on valentine’s day last year?”

she nodded her head. “m’still sorry for that, ruined your night pulling that”

he shook his head. “you frustrate me sometimes when you fail to realise that you’re such a treasure, y/n. he didn’t deserve to have you in his life. sometimes, i don’t even think i deserve you in my life”

at his confession, her bottom lip jutted out and she shifted out of the covers and into his lap. having being friends since they were eleven, it wasn’t unusual for the two to be intimate and affectionate like this.

george welcomed her, closing his eyes at the feeling of her fingers toying with the hair at the back of his neck — a gesture that she had remembered comforted him. one of his hands found her waist, holding her protectively close to his body, whilst the other rested on her bare thigh.

“y’deserve me,” she whispered into his neck, nuzzling closer to him. “only one who deserves me”

he smiled, his thumb drawing backwards and forwards lazily along her skin in a comforting motion. a few moments passed, the two content with just holding each other, before y/n pulled back slightly, as if the air between them had shifted within the silence.

a tear had rolled down her cheek and upon noticing, george instinctively brought his hand up to thumb at it. once it was wiped away from her skin, she leaned into his touch and closed her eyes.

his hand ended up cupping her jaw, holding her head in his palm before she was opening her eyes again and righting herself.

they looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity, before she was nibbling on her bottom lip in thought. george noticed, of course.

“what’re you thinking about?” he asked, hoping that they were on the same page and when she opened her mouth to answer, he held his breath.

her eyes flickered to his lips as his tongue came out to wet them, “kissing you”

it was as if time had stopped between them. george’s heart was thundering so erratically in his chest he was almost certain she could feel it, he nodded his head at her response before she could stumble out a ‘well, not in that way if you don’t want it to be, of course!’ — indicating to her that he was thinking about the same thing.

she didn’t let herself overthink it. so, she leaned down and ghosted her lips across his, mumbling lightly, “never kissed anyone apart from theo before..”

to this, george smiled lightly and squeezed her hip. “s’okay, m’darlin” he soothed, “no pressure, yeah? s’only me”

she nodded her head, her lips brushing up against his as she did so. “m’not too good at this, just so you know”

he smiled again, before he was leaning forward and pressing his lips against hers before she was able to overthink it. she sighed as soon as their lips made contact, as did he.

they had both melted into the kiss, their lips moving in sync alongside each others and teeth occasionally clashing due to george’s excessive smiling.

after a few more minutes, george pulled away with flushed cheeks and slightly swollen lips. she looked down at him, looking exactly the same.

“uh,” she said, slightly shuffling around on his lap with nerves at the realisation of what had just happened. “m’sorry if you didn’t want things to go that far” she apologised, already beginning to get off of his lap.

he shook his head, smiling lightly up at her and reconnecting their lips. she smiled back, kissing him eagerly and squealing when he lifted himself up with her still in his lap and gently lying her onto the mattress.

“m’darlin” he said, pulling away and pecking her cheeks,

“m’gorgeous girl” he continued, planting kisses along her jaw, nose, forehead before settling on her lips.

she giggled at the feeling of his lips on her skin, before moments later her eyes were watering at his words as he spoke gently, pushing a piece of hair out of her eyes.

“dunno how i got so lucky. such a treasure you are”

i wanna make a pt.2 with smut to this SO bad but i am so indecisive even though it’s half written in my drafts LMAO

tags: @horrorxweasley @amityyyjade @hufflepuff5972 @youralternantpersonality @aesthetic-dark @whoreforgeorgeandfred @amourtentiaa

[delusionalwoman]

Grangers Diary

TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Summary: after Hermione takes her own life. Those around her need to learn how to live without the smartest witch of their age.

Ron and Harry have a conversation about feeling grief.

*This is an extract from MY OWN fanfic @DracoOnToast on wattpad*

“She just went and killed herself Ron. I know. I've already looked at this, I scoured through it for days after she died. I searched, decoded. I even asked for another opinion from a healer at the hospital and the results were all the same: She went and took her own life, and we will never understand why. We will never accept why. We will never understand why and we will never fully know what's going on but Ron..."

By this point Ron was crying, sobs of pain and tears splashing down his face. Opening up his head and allowing the pain to flow out.

Harry stood, grabbing his chair and pulling it over to Ron. grabbing his best friend and pulling him towards him.

“Ron we need to feel this pain, learn what it is and accept that this is how it will feel! Let the pain in. Don't be ashamed to show people how you feel because we all feel it. We all see it in the air and we all acknowledge it because pain should be felt and should not come sugarcoated in shame and guilt. Grief Ron, should be felt and acknowledged. We all feel the hole in our heart, we feel her missing and we see the space where she should be. We notice the silence where she should be speaking, telling us a fact about something we didn't ask for. Or telling us about her day. Complaining about the long corridors and the troublesome witches or wizards that she deeply believes deserve a second, third or even twentieth chance. She deserves to be missed. And she deserves to be missed by those that loved her the most."

I feel like i'm drowning Harry. I feel like I'm drowning just like her and I can't see the water or feel myself even go under. I can’t even cry for help because you guys are drowning yourselves. I wanted to find a reason, an illness. A tumour? A spell gone wrong? I wanted to believe that she was pulled in there, someone got her. That she tripped and fell. I even debated if Malfoy had actually pushed her in there. Couldn't kill Dumbledore but he could kill Hermione. God Harry, it all just hurts. It stings. It's a deep pain that when you inhale it wraps around your lungs and when you exhale it pulls you a foot deeper into the water."

"I know Ron. I know. That's why we are all sharing oxygen tanks. And it's your turn to take a breath through mine...or even Ginny's. It is valid to feel like shit. It's valid to scream at the world that you hurt. Its so fucking right to want to destroy anything and everything. Burn it or crush it, bury your pain in a fit of rage and confusion. So long as you feel it, you can get through it."

#mental health #harry potter #draco x hermione #ron weasley #creative #writing #tw suicice #awareness

[delusionalwoman]

I really really wish I was a cat, I’m not built for this capatalist society but I am built for sleeping 19 hours a day and knocking things over

[delusionalwoman]

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

* body language masterlist

* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said

* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

* some more body language help

(hope this helps some ppl)